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My special thanks to Gregory David Roberts from whom this story has been inspired. All questions will be answered. Love C.S.


Them

It was in a dimly lit room that I first saw them. I instantly took a dislike towards them, especially the two sitting across the window, waving like maniacs to a set of people, a tall, handsome man and a petite, delicate woman in his arms- presumably their parents.

I would have stopped Lily, any compartment was better than this but she had already cleared her throat, fixing all the four gazes on her. I wasn't seen, in the shadow of Lily, I was just another invisible shadow.

"May we sit here, the rest of the train is full" Lily said giving them a warm smile, slightly showing her pearl white teeth and slightly hiding them.

"Please madam, consider this as your own compartment" a black wavy haired guy bowed taking off his invisible hat. He had the most striking grey eyes, I had ever seen, eyes full of laughter and jest and I, I loathed them. Lily gave a slight chuckle before seating herself and urging me forward.

"Hey, I am Lily Evans" Lily smiled and the four boys.

"Sirius Black"

"Remus Lupin"

"Peter Pettigrew"

"James Potter, pleasure to meet you both"

He wasn't so sure about me, the feelings were mutual.

"Severus Snape" I gave them a polite smile.

Lifetime enmity starts in an instant. The second you look at them, you know they are no good.

"So Lily, which house would you like to be in?" Sirius Black questioned.

"I don't know. Tell me about them". The trace of fear still evident in her eyes, she was still not sure if she, a muggle born was welcome in a place full of magical blood.

"Oh well! There is Gryffindor, the house of the brave and courageous. Then Hufflepuff for the loyal, then Ravenclaw for the wise and in the end Slytherin for the cunning and the evil." James finished with a look of disgust.

"Well, I think Slytherin is for the ambitious and intelligent ones. I'd want to be in Slytherin" I voiced my opinion after a slight hesitation.

"Well, are you crazy? Why would anyone want to be in that house? Forget it, you look a bit off"

Lily's eyes narrowed, but she bit her tongue. Now I wish that she hadn't.

"Which house do you want to be in?" Lily questioned forgetting her anger, forgetting me.

"Gryffindor" four voices chorused in the small compartment.

"Is there really a talking hat? Lily asked, animatedly.

"There are much, much more Lily-kins". And they launched into the whole description of Hogwarts, dramatizing each thing. Lily enjoyed it; I saw it in her eyes.

We were finally standing in the Great Hall, I felt chocked by the grandeur, smothered by the uncountable eyes and the strangeness of the place. I felt at home, yet distant.

In all the years, at Hogwarts the feeling never changed.

"Severus Snape" my ears picked up my name and I made my way towards the Sorting Hat, feeling the eyes judge me, just as those muggle eyes had.

"Hmm... There is no doubt, you're courageous. But your courage is masked by your ambitious nature. Slytherin" the hat gave a loud cry, and I made my way towards the cheering table, the table that now was mine.

Till date, I do not agree with the hat. I never was courageous. If I had courage, I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did.

As presumed, Potter, Black Lupin and Pettigrew were in Gryffindor, though there was a slight hesitation before Pettigrew's house, just as there had been for me.

"Professor Dumbledore's words still ring in my ears- "It is our choices, far more than our abilities that make us what we truly are".

Finally it was Lily's turn. I waited as she stumbled across the stairs and into the small chair. All eyes were on her and this time, I was one of those eyes.

An inner coagulation took place- she should be in Slytherin, she would be, she had to be.

"Gryffindor" the word took the air out of my lungs. All around people cheered while my fellow Slytherins sneered. I could bring myself to do neither.

She gave me an uncertain look before settling herself between Potter and some other girl. I hated her for sitting next to Potter, but I never blamed her. It was the only empty seat left.

My first day at Hogwarts was officially over and my best friend was supposed to be my enemy. But I promised myself, I would never hurt Lily because of inter house rivalry and I kept my promise yet each day, now I think why I hadn't made the promise of never hurting her for anything because in my life, I have hurt Lily and I have hurt her many times. Each day I live, I regret those times and I hate myself for bringing tears to those eyes, which would haunt me for as long as I shall live, and even after that.

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future. You may regret your silence once, but you will regret your words often.


The chapters are not long for a specific reason. So please don't complain about the length. Anything else please go right ahead and complain.

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Love

C.S.