Raimu and the Bees

Reimu's house was full of bees.

She could not beelieve it at first. She thought all the buzzing was because of her passive-aggressive schizophrenia. But when she opened her dresser to get new underpants she realized all of her underwear was now bees.

"Huh." Said Reimu.

She didn't put on any bees and went to make her morning leaf water. But when she opened her leaf water pot, it was full of bees instead of leaf water.

"Huh." Said Reimu.

She closed the lid and went to take a bath. But when she went to get a bucket of water from the well, only bees came out.

"Holy fucking shit, my house is infested with bees." Said Reimu.

Reimu went to the house to get her big red-white balls, but when her back was turned, her entire house had become bees.

"Shit." Said Reimu, and she flew away from the bees.

Reimu went to Alice's house and knocked on Alice's door.

"Alice," said Reimu, "you will not fucking beelieve what happened to my house."

Alice opened the door. She stared at Reimu.

"My house is made out of bees." Said Alice in a pretentious manner.

"What." Said Reimu.

Alice's house seemed to be entirely composed of very pretentious bees.

"I just finished rebuilding it after Marisa burned it down and inflicted severe flood damage upon it." Said Alice. "She was a shitlord."

"But now it is made out of bees." Said Reimu.

"Yes." Said Alice.

"Shit." Said Reimu, and flew away.

"God damn it." Said Alice.

Reimu flew to Sanae's shrine.

"Sanae, you will not fucking beelieve what happened to my tea." Said Reimu.

"Why aren't you bothering Marisa." Said Sanae.

"Marisa is dead." Said Reimu.

"I forgot." Said Sanae.

"You did." Said Reimu.

"She was a shitlord. She caused severe flood damage to my shrine." Said Sanae.

"Yeah." Said Reimu.

"Buzz." Said Sanae. Honey started dripping out of her mouth.

"Shit." Said Reimu, and flew away.

Reimu flew to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"Remilia," Said Reimu, "you will not fucking beelieve what happened to my underwear."

"Buzz." Said Remilia, who was now a larger-than-average bee.

"What." Said Reimu.

"Buzz." Said the giant bee, in a vaguely aroused sort of way.

"Fuck off, I'm not letting you see." Said Reimu.

"Buzz." Said Remilia, and the pink hat on her head was pushed off by her antennae.

"Shit." Said Reimu, and flew away.

Reimu was swearing loudly on the steps of her shrine.

"What is wrong, Reimu." Said Yukari.

"I am homeless." Said Reimu.

"And what else." Said Yukari.

"And I am thirsty." Said Reimu.

"And what else." Said Yukari.

"And I am not wearing any underwear." Said Reimu.

"Ooh." Said Yukari.

"I will exterminate you." Said Reimu.

"Please don't." Said Yukari.

"Okay." Said Reimu. "How do I get rid of bees."

"Oh, Reimu," said Yukari, "you do not have to get rid of the bees. The real bees were inside you all along."

"What the fuck does that even mean." Said Reimu. "It does not answer my question at all oh my fucking god."

Reimu then exploded merrily into more than five hundred bees, who buzzed a lot and went to topple society as it is known today. They were successful. Now the world was run by bees. They also exploded the moon because Yorihime insulted their stingers.

"I warned her." Said Yukari.

"Buzz." Said the very successful bees.

Moral: Bees are extremely touchy.