A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. A few people were pondering who it could be and I debated whether or not to leave it so that you don't know until the last line, but then I wouldn't be able to add in certain things that I think are really reflective of how certain people might be feeling, so you will find out in this chapter (although it won't actually say his name, you will pick up on it.)


Anger

She has never seen Lena shout. Not really. Not in front of the kids and, especially, not at the kids.

On the day before the funeral, Anger is hot in the air.

They're at the dinner table and the kids are either arguing, sighing, or just staring at their food. Mariana is annoyed at Jesus for something, and they're bickering back and forth. Brandon is pissed because his father hadn't bothered showing up for lunch, Callie is refusing to eat for the third day in a row.

Lena is staring at her pasta and pushing it around on the plate, taking the occasional bite for the sake of the baby and not caring much about herself. Stef clears her throat and everyone looks up, eyes hollow and dark like a room full of zombies. She can hardly blame them, she looks pretty terrible herself.

"So we need to leave at around 9am tomorrow morning. I don't want any huffing and puffing, just be at the front door waiting to go. That clear?"

Everyone nods, Callie pushes back to leave the table.

"Callie. You need to eat something, hon." She says, and Callie just shakes her head.

Lena sighs and takes another bite of the bland pasta which Stef hadn't bothered putting much effort into.

"Callie, I'm not taking no for an answer. I know you're sad, okay? We all are. But we have to take care of ourselves."

Callie sighs and pushes the plate away, brow creasing in distaste. "I'm not hungry."

"Cal…"

"I said I'm not hungry." The tone of her voice is testing and bitter like Stef has never heard, it brings her back to the Callie that she'd met over a year ago on the first night she'd been in their house.

"I don't care. You're eating and that's the end of it."

Callie just grunts and pushes back from the table, she carries her plate over to the bin and dumps the content inside the trashbag before turning to leave, but then comes Lena's booming voice and it terrifies everyone at the table.

"Enough!" Her hands slam onto the table and she stands up. "Stop with the attitude, Callie. Stop it right now."

But Callie just shakes her head and stands tall like she is ready for the coming argument.

"March over to that tray of leftovers and place some onto your plate right now, I want to see an empty plate, you hear me?"

Callie doesn't move, but Stef can see that the girl is beginning to worry about the consequences of ignoring Lena's angry request. "I'm. Not. Hungry." She spits through gritted teeth.

"I DO NOT CARE. EAT. NOW."

Callie marches over to the tray and dumps the contents onto a plate then throws it onto the table with a loud thud before slamming herself down onto the chair and forcing food into her mouth, eyes on Lena the entire time.

"Are you happy? Is this okay for you?" she asks, in between bites.

Lena shakes her head and her face turns an awful shade of purple. "Am I happy? What about any of this do you think makes me damn happy? No, Callie. None of us are happy, none of us. You don't get to shut us out anymore, it's not an option. I know you're mad that he's gone, but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on us. Just eat your dinner and go to bed."

Callie laughs bitterly and shakes her head. "You think that's its just as hard for everyone here as it is for me? You didn't know him like I did. You didn't watch him grow up, you didn't change his diapers when our parents neglected to do it. You didn't take care of him in abusive foster homes or...you just...you don't understand."

"Enough." Stef spits and she shakes her head at the young girl. "Stop right now. We are...were his parents, Callie. Whether its only been a year or not doesn't matter...we were his mothers and it hurts us, too."

Callie sighs and turns her attention towards the food, not muttering another word. She manages half the plate before she drops the fork as though it has burnt her. The room has fallen into uncomfortable silence, Lena is back in her chair taking calming breaths and Stef has found herself observing silently as everyone falls back into their catatonic states.

No one notices the change in Callie's demeanour until they hear the topple of the chair, Stef looks up just in time to see her daughter fleeing to the bathroom.

After throwing up the monstrous amount of pasta in her stomach, Callie weakly returns to the dinner table a horrible green colour and Lena feels automatically guilty. She stands up to apologise to her daughter, but the girl speaks first.

"You made too much food."

Stef looks up from her plate, confused at the matter-of-fact statement. "yeah, I guess I did."

"You…you made too much food because…because you're used to cooking for more people."

Everyone seems to be confused, looking around the room for an answer, but the look on Lena's face shows that she understands. "oh, Callie."

"And you made me eat the leftovers…" Callie takes a shuddering breath and suppresses the urge to throw up again. "You made me eat the food that would have been his."

Lena reaches out to comfort, and Stef is on her feet too, sensing the impending disaster they have on their hands. "Callie, come on, let's get you to a seat. You don't look good."

But Callie shakes her head and it's her time to get angry, although, surprisingly, not at them.

"Why do bad things always have to happen to me? I thought that this..being here was supposed to be my chance at having a decent life but bad things just keep happening. I dont...I just don't understand why it has to be me."

Neither of them have an answer, it's a question they'd been asking themselves. Why does she have so much bad luck?

"Cal-"

"It's just...it's not fair!" She yells, and she paces the floor, her eyes wild and her face panicked. "I did everything to keep him safe. Everything. It shouldn't be him, it should not be him. It should..."

She takes a shuddering breath and falls to her knees.

"It should be me."


A/N: Just another little note...I just want you to know that this whole story wont be centered solely around Callie's emotions. The next chapter will pretty much just be Stef & Lena, and the chapter after that will be everyone else, too. I just want her to be mentioned a little more since, understandably, she might find it a little harder to cope.

I was also a little worried that people might not think that the chapters are sort of rounded up enough, like I'm leaving them all on a bad note - but that's the aim, since it'll be finishing off with acceptance (Incase you haven't guess, i'm basing this on the stages of grief)