And we find ourselves sipping fire whiskey and talking, and it's late. Our voices are quiet and the only other sound in my small sitting room is the crackle of the fire. Our shadows are enormous, looming huge on the wall behind us.
We sit together on my faded green couch, close enough to smell the whiskey on each others' breath. Close enough to touch, but not touching.
Until.
Sirius reaches out and brushes his fingertips across my cheek. His touch is hesitant, and he is shaking slightly.
"I think-"
He isn't looking at me any more. He's studying the carpet.
"I'm afraid that place broke me, Remus."
I'm afraid it did too.
I don't trust myself to say anything, so I don't.
Instead, I put my arms around him. He is thin and cold, and I worry that I'll crush him.
For a moment he doesn't move, but slow hands begin to creep across my back, skittish as sparrows.
"I've been numb for so long."
His voice is barely a whisper.
My heart-beat thunders in my ears. I hold him close and then we're kissing again. His lips are slow, and dry and everything melts around me. My fingers tangle in the inky blackness of his hair.
The kiss ends and he rests his head against my shoulder.
"Whatever you need, Sirius. Whatever you need, just tell me."
After thirteen years without him, he is back in my life.
As good as back from the dead.
For so many years, I hated him with an anger I never knew I was capable of. It burned white-hot in my chest day and night for so long that I thought I would live with it forever.
I had been betrayed, or so I believed, with such cruel and careless abandon that it made me sick to my stomach.
I had been betrayed- we all had. But it had been Peter- who'd have thought him capable? Little Peter Pettigrew, constantly running to catch up- always a step behind.
Not this time though.
And he got away with it too.
But now the truth is out.
Sirius is not a traitor.
Sirius is in my arms.
My head spins. Partly from the fire whiskey. Mostly from the smell of his skin, his hair. His very proximity. His breath on my neck.
In the space of hours, I have fallen very much in love again.
