Sebastian goes online shopping on Calvin Klein, Victoria Secret (for corsets) , Nordstrom, Spencers, Modcloth, and a bunch of others..Here's the actual recorded convo of them..hope you find it entertaining. (Excuse the innuendos) comments/ideas on what you'd like to see next are welcomed!


System: Thank you for contacting Calvin Klein. Please wait while we connect you with a customer service representative.

Sebastian Michaelis: Initial Question/Comment: Inquiry regarding a black suit

System: Nicholas D. has joined this session!

System: Connected with Nicholas D.. Your reference number for this chat session is 1902408.

Nicholas D.: Hello Sebastian, my name is Nick. I understand that you have a question about a suit, and I would be happy to look into this for you today.

Sebastian Michaelis: Hello, Nicholas. Yes I do in fact. I'm looking for a black suit coat with tie to match (The standard butler uniform, if you will)

Sebastian Michaelis: The young master I serve is a notoriously messy eater and he has stained my uniform with...cream yet again so I was looking for an immediate replacement until the butler uniform I ordered arrives.

Nicholas D.: Do you know what kind of fit you would like for the suit jacket?

Sebastian Michaelis: Yes, I'm looking for a classic fit. Also, do your suits ships rather quickly?

Nicholas D.: All of our orders would take 1-2 business days to process before they ship from our warehouse. Then it would depend on the shipping speed chosen at checkout. Our fastest speed, which is available for an additional fee, would be 1-2 business days after the shipping date.

Sebastian Michaelis: Excellent. I just hope the suit can withstand my young master's volatile nature til then.

Sebastian Michaelis: Also, is the fabric stain proof? I'm looking for a sturdy fabric that can take withstand…a lot of things..

Nicholas D.: It would be 100% wool, and it would need to be dry cleaned, but I do not believe that it would be stain proof. I am very sorry for the inconvenience that this may cause you.

Sebastian Michaelis: No matter. I had another inquiry regarding the suits.
Do you have any that contain front pockets? Preferably ones large enough to hold a pocket watch and a dozen or so, butterknives stashed inside?

Nicholas D.: It is a little bit hard to see on that item that I showed you, but it does have a left breast pocket. Regrettably, I do not have access to the dimensions of that pocket. It could certainly handle a pocket watch, but a dozen butter knives may be pushing it.

Sebastian Michaelis: Ah, I see. I'm sure I can find a way to manage. Perhaps a tailor could instill the large pockets for the butterknives for me.

Sebastian Michaelis: Also, is there any sort on guarantee on the suit? You know, if say something were to go…awry with it…

Nicholas D.: I am sorry to say that we wouldn't have a warranty on our items, but if the item arrives damaged or if there are any issues you can certainly give us a call to have us check our options.

Sebastian Michaelis: I see. So hypothetically speaking, if the suit was received in brand new condition but for some reason was soiled within a few weeks, I couldn't replace it.

Nicholas D.: That would be correct. You would need to get it either dry cleaned or replaced with a new purchase.

Sebastian Michaelis: Oh, I see. I just hope the young master I serve will resist the urge to stain this one. He's an unruly 13 yr old br-, I mean , child so I can only hope this one will stay in tact.

Nicholas D.: I sincerely hope that you are able to enjoy your suit jacket for many years to come, Sebastian.

Sebastian Michaelis: Thank you for your kind words, Nicholas. It has been an absolutely pleasure in talking to you. The master I serve can be quite a handful…

Sebastian Michaelis: You simply do not know the burdens I go through at the hands of my young master. Each and every day, it's "Sebastian, fetch me my Earl Grey", "Sebastian, prepare a bath", "Sebastian, make me a scone", "Sebastian, put on my pants."

Sebastian Michaelis: (Yes, a bit pitiful he cannot put on his own pants) and don't even get me started on the 'orders' he gives me. Sighs. It's tough being a butler. Thank you for helping me with my shopping, Nicholas. You have been most obliging. Do you have any advice for me about the young master?

Nicholas D.: You are very welcome, Sebastian. Thank you for chatting with us here at Calvin Klein. I would not have any advice for that, but I certainly do wish good luck with your job.

Sebastian Michaelis: Thank you, Nicholas. The young master summons me right now. I have to go bathe him. *Sighs*

Sebastian Michaelis: Good luck with your job as well. I think you're doing an exemplary job.

Sebastian Michaelis: Oh just a quick question...

Sebastian Michaelis: By any chance, do you carry….black knee high boots with stiletto heels?

Nicholas D.: Yes, and you can see our collection of boots, many of which have heels, at the following link: shop/SearchDisplay?storeId=10751&catalogId=12101&langId=-1&sType=SimpleSearch&searchType=2&searchTerm=boots

(Whaaat?! Didn't think they actually carried the exact copy of Sebastian's high heeled boots here..XD)

Sebastian Michaelis: Simply excellent. Do these come in men's sizes?

Nicholas D.: Regrettably, they would not.

Nicholas D.: But the size charts have a conversion table for you to measure your foot.

Sebastian Michaelis: Oh, that is a bit of a pity. I really am in need of a high heeled boots. My old ones are a bit besmirched…

Sebastian Michaelis: I see here in your directory, you have the Clancy high heel boot.

Could this fit a tall 6' ft male?

Nicholas D.: You would order according to the length of your foot, and you can see in the size chart the size that you should pick. It would depend upon how long your foot was.

Sebastian Michaelis: Oh, the length of mine is quite long… a little over a foot.

Sebastian Michaelis: I think it could fit into the Tranc-..I mean, Clancy boots though it might be a tight squeeze due its...size.

Nicholas D.: Our largest size would be 11.5, which would be for a 10.7" foot. That would be too large to fit in our women's boots, and none of our men's boots would have high heels.

Sebastian Michaelis: Ah, I see. Well, Calvin Klein should get on that. There are quite a lot of demon butlers out there who are in need of high heeled stilleto boots.

Nicholas D.: I will certainly mention that to my superiors. Is there anything else I can assist you with today, Sebastian?

Sebastian Michaelis: No, that's all. It has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you Nicholas. Who knew Calvin Klein could have everything a demon butler could need? An assortment of suit coats…black ties…knee high black stilleto boots. You've made a demon butler very happy. I definitely will be recommending your services to others.

Nicholas D.: Thank you, and have a great rest of your day.

Sebastian Michaelis: Oh, I will, for you see, I'm simply on hell of a butler ;)

(Nicholas has ended the chat) *immediately leaves*

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The next part in our prank series is Sebastian going to Victoria's Secret for a...corset.