Stan and Craig were chosen as the team captains for Dodgeball. One by one, each kid was called on and assigned to one of the teams. Kyle, Tweek, Kenny, Token, Cartman, Clyde, Wendy, Bebe, and so on, until it was only Pip and Parker left. Stan picked Parker, which left Pip on Craig's team. Immediately, everyone started talking trash about the other team, getting pumped for the game. Each team stood waiting on either side of the dividing line on the gym floor, staring down the enemies with smug smirks on their faces. When the gym teacher finally set out the balls on the line, everyone suddenly grew tense and ready to strike. The whistle blew, and the battle had started.

"LET'S GO!" Craig shouted, scooping up a ball and hurling it at Stan's team.

"GET READY TO LOSE!" Stan screamed, dodging balls and throwing a few of his own.

Kids screeched in glee as the game intensified. At one point, the gym teacher had a wild idea to put on music during the battle, only making the students more excited and really throwing themselves into the game. The song of choice was one of Parker's favorites – the Knife Party remix of Porter Robinson's song "Unison". Suddenly everything had an instant battlefield feel to it. Kids were hit left and right, until eventually Craig's team had more survivors than Stan's: left on Craig's team were Craig, Tweek, Clyde, Token, and Pip; on Stan's, only Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Parker.

"KENNY, LOOK OUT!"

The blonde turned his head and was blasted in the face with a rubber dodge ball. He was knocked over by the force of the throw, and fell backwards hard onto his head, cracking it open with blood pooling everywhere. Parker looked down, horrified. "K-Kyle, Stan!"

Stan looked back and saw Kenny's condition, and turned back to the opposing team. "OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kyle shouted, whipping a ball straight at Craig's face.

Parker called the teacher over to help the bleeding blonde boy, not paying attention when Clyde threw a ball his way.

"PARKER!"

The brunette ducked just before the ball made contact and ran after it. Once he had it, he flung it full-force and watched it smack Craig in the face, and smirked to himself. Feeling the adrenaline rushing throughout his body, he rushed over to another forgotten ball and threw it towards Token; he jumped out of the way, and instead it knocked Pip in the back of the head. 'Still hit someone,' Parker thought, grinning, 'so it still counts!' The two made their way to the bleachers and took a seat, Craig trying to stop the blood flowing from his nose, and watched the rest of the game with the other losers.

"Dude, just Tweek, Clyde, and Token are left!" Stan said, smiling.

"We just might win this after all." Kyle motioned for Stan and Parker to grab a ball, and the three launched them at the other three across the line. The audience held their breath as time seemed to slow down, and each ball made contact with one of the three boys, declaring them out. Everyone cheered the winners, and Craig flipped them the bird with an angry scowl.

"Stan's team wins!" the teacher said, clapping. "Well done, boys! That was a great game!"

Stan smiled wide. "Dude, we won!"

Kyle cheered, high-fiving his best friend. "Yeah! We did it!" The two turned to high-five Parker, grinning and cheering for him. The kids on the bleachers rushed down and hauled the green-clad brunette up on their shoulders, cheering and raving about how awesome the game was. Craig and his little group sat back on the bleachers in awe.

Craig glared at the new kid and held his middle finger high. "I am so not happy."


Parker saw Harbucks coming into view and smiled a little to himself. 'Time for some coffee,' he thought. As he got closer, he noticed that the lights were all off. He raised his eyebrows in confusion but stopped at the entrance anyways. A sign hung in the window, saying that the store would be closed due to renovations. The brunette frowned, and turned back to head for home.

"Hey! Parker!"

He turned around to see who was calling his name to find Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny running his way. Confused, he let them catch up to him, a little surprised to see Kenny there after the Dodgeball incident. The four boys panted and took a moment to catch their breath before finally talking again.

"Dude, you were amazing in gym today!" Stan beamed.

Kyle nodded in agreement. "The best! We haven't played a game that fun in, well…ever!"

"Wait, you guys thought it was really that good?" Parker asked, tilting his head.

Kenny smiled. "Only the best," Kenny replied, giving him two thumbs up. "I may have got hit, but holy shit, that was the most exciting game of Dodgeball we've ever played! Kudos to you, man!"

Even Cartman grinned slightly. "It was okay," he commented. "I just wasn't expecting it to get so intense, you know. Took me by surprise when I got out."

"You are so full of crap, fatass," Kyle deadpanned, giving the chubby teen the 'Are-you-kidding-me?' look.

"Up yours, Jew," Cartman shot back, glaring.

Parker rubbed his arm bashfully, rolling his eyes. "Thanks, guys," he said. "It was actually really fun. Does your teacher usually play music during gym like that?"

"Sometimes," Kenny replied, nodding.

"Hey, didn't you die in class?"

Kenny nodded. "Yeah, but I'm okay now. So, where are you going?"

Parker hesitated, taking in the blonde's odd sentence. "Uh, I'm going home actually. Why?"

"You wanna hang out with us for a while instead?"

"Well…sure, I guess. Where at?"

"How about up at Stark's Pond?" Kyle suggested. "We could probably even jump in the water if it gets too hot. I dunno about you guys, but I'm sweating."

Stan laughed. "Yeah, same here." He looked back at Parker, smiling. "So, you in?"

The brunette thought for a second and finally nodded. "Sure, why not? It's not like it'll be dark out for a long time."


"AH, FUCK! DON'T DO THAT, KENNY, THIS WATER'S FUCKING FREEZING!"

"COME ON, CARTMAN! DON'T BE A BITCH!"

Stan, Kyle, and Parker sat at the water's edge, laughing at the antics of the blonde and the fat kid. The five of them were starting to get along, considering all that had happened since that same morning. It made Parker happy inside knowing that it wouldn't be as hard to make friends again in a new town. Ever since he moved away, he'd been in a constant state of unhappiness; now that he was starting to get on peoples' good sides, he felt a little better, and let his inner self come through a little bit.

"So, Parker," Kyle asked, looking at the brunette from the corner of his eye, "not trying to sound mean, but…why did you move here of all places?"

He shrugged. "Well, there were a lot of other places we could have moved to, but my dad said he'd prefer to live in a quiet little mountain town for a while. Just to get away from the big city and all those people and the noise."

"I guess I can understand that," Stan said. "I've never lived anywhere but here, but I gotta imagine living in a big city would get pretty annoying."

"It was mostly all the people, to be honest. Too many people in a cramped place, and plus, it was a pretty dangerous area."

Kyle nodded. "Places like that usually do end up pretty dangerous after a while. Was it like, robbery and murders and stuff?"

"Not exactly…" Parker looked up at the sky, taking in the warm, comforting sunlight. "It was more like child abductions and the occasional kill here and there."

"Damn," Stan murmured, imagining what could have happened.

The three were brought out of their thoughts by a wild scream coming from the water. They looked over and saw Kenny atop Cartman's shoulders, pushing the fat boy's head under the water. They laughed when Cartman threw him off and flipped them all off with an angry glare.

"You guys are asses!" he shouted, wading back up to the land.