I'll Keep Singing This Lie If You'll Keep Believing It
A/N: to clear up any potential confusion, this chapter starts out with a flashback. I think I'm going to start out every chapter with a flashback, but I could also run out of ideas and drop that idea. We'll see. Also, credit to Meg for the flashback idea. Naturally once I give an idea thought I have to write it. It's just how I run shit man.
Also, thank you for all of the wonderful feedback last chapter. I always love reading what you guys have to say. I'm sorry this took so long for me to write, but I wanted to get this chapter exactly right for you all. I hope you enjoy!
"Who's ready to look like an idiot!?" Blaine sat a game down on the coffee table, looking excited.
"Well I guess the game was a waste of money because you always look like an idiot," Nick supplied with a smirk.
"Shut up Nick. Now you're the one that gets to go first. Okay so the objective of the game is to read a phrase off of a card and get us to understand what you're saying." Blaine opened the box and threw a plastic thing at Nick.
Jeff's stomach lurched in horror when he looked at the game. It was called "Watch Ya Mouth" and apparently there were cheek retractors involved. This was his literal nightmare. Nick seemed completely unaware of Jeff's distress and proceeded to put the cheek retractors in his own mouth, and the room erupted into laughter.
Nick looked to Jeff, seeking approval and maybe a laugh. Jeff choked out an uncomfortable laugh despite being genuinely horrified.
After a few good laughs and speech that was just barley audible Nick took out the ridiculous contraption so he could speak.
"Oh my god, Jeff you have to do it too." Nick grabbed one of the other cheek retractors and tried to put it in Jeff's mouth.
Jeff turned his head away quickly. "Nick no, I don't want to," he squeaked.
"Jeff c'mon, it's funny," Nick insisted. He wrapped his arms around Jeff and put his head on his shoulder. "Pleeeaaasssee."
Jeff felt lightheaded and dizzy as he tried to squirm out of Nick's hold. "Nick seriously I don't want to, please stop."
Nick clearly didn't catch onto how terrified Jeff actually was, he thought it was funny and Jeff was just being stubborn. So he tried to just put it in his mouth again, and he was almost successful because he got part of it in his mouth, and that's when Jeff lost it.
Jeff shoved Nick away hard in terror and knocked the stupid cheek retractors to the ground. He was breathing hard and was damn near close to hyperventilating.
"Hey!" Nick scolded lightly. "Jeff why did you do that?"
Everyone else in the room was looking at Jeff in confusion, looking for an explanation for the scene he just caused.
Jeff couldn't handle all of the questioning eyes on him. He stood up and left the room before anyone could say anything else and walked outside.
"I don't... I don't understand what just happened. I'm sorry, I'm gonna go check on him," Nick excused before running after Jeff.
Jeff was outside with his arms wrapped around himself and tears falling down his face. He knew he'd just embarrassed himself but he'd take that over everyone in the room seeing his teeth. He felt Nick put a hand on his shoulder and he flinched hard.
"Jeff why did you freak out like that, honey?" Nick asked gently.
Jeff just shook his head and continued to cry. Was Nick really that fucking oblivious? It didn't take a damn rocket scientist to figure this out. Jeff always covered his mouth when he laughed and never smiled with his teeth for pictures.
"Jeff please tell me," Nick pushed.
"Seriously Nick?" Jeff snapped in frustration. "Think about it."
"I don't understand, honey... you just flipped out on me and..." Nick trailed off. Then it hit him. He remembered what Jeff confessed to him that night when he was drunk and his face blanched. Now he felt terrible. He wrapped his arms around Jeff in a hug and started apologizing profusely. "Fuck, I'm sorry. Are you insecure about your teeth babe?"
Jeff didn't know about that stuff he told Nick that night, but just figured he had enough common sense to put two and two together. He flinched at what Nick asked. "I don't want to talk about it, alright?" he admitted indirectly. "But it's okay. I've never told you, it's not your fault you're so damn oblivious," Jeff laughed a little, hugging Nick back. "God, what are we going to tell them?"
"The truth?" Nick suggested dumbly.
"Nooo, I don't want them to know. It's none of their business."
"We'll tell them you're sick or something."
"Pffttt, because that definitely explains the scene I caused. Let's just leave. I'm thoroughly embarrassed at this point and I'm not going back in there." Secretly the events of the night had Jeff mentally drained and sad, and he just wanted to go home.
Nick nodded. He said a brief goodbye to his friends and grabbed his keys off of the coffee table. But on the ride back Jeff was really quiet. "What's on your mind, beautiful?" he asked.
Jeff shrugged lamely in response.
Nick frowned. "C'mon, talk to me. Are you upset about what happened tonight? I'm sorry that I put you in that situation honey."
"It's not that. It's just hard for me to relax and have a good time when I'm in a group of people because I feel like everyone's looking at me and I'm not allowed to laugh. Not just tonight, but most of the time. What happened tonight had a funny way of reminding me about it though. All of these carefree people with pretty smiles laughing feels like a punch in the gut, and it shouldn't be like that. I just want to be able to relax and not care so much about what other people think of me. I feel like I spend most of the time hiding," Jeff admitted, deciding to vent to his boyfriend for once instead of keeping it to himself.
Nick frowned at Jeff's confession. "Well I think your smile is pretty," he comforted lamely.
Jeff's face blanched. He understood that Nick was trying to make him feel better but Nick's words just made him regret his confession. Nick couldn't understand and this just made Jeff feel more alone. "Well I don't," Jeff deadpanned.
"Jeff, I'm not trying to be a dick here but if you're so self conscious why don't you just get braces or something? That's the only way to solve this. I can tell you that you're beautiful a million times but it won't matter if you don't believe it yourself," Nick reasoned.
Jeff felt tears starting to sting at his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry that I brought it up."
Nick sighed. "Jeff, no. It's not like that. I don't want you to regret bringing these things up. I want you to talk to me," he countered. "Just know you never have to hide away with me. I love you the way that you are and I just want you to love yourself too. That's the only reason I said what I did. Not because the way your smile looks bugs me at all, but because I know you're never going to like that part of yourself. Do you get what I'm saying? I love you baby, so much. I'm sorry that I don't understand what you're going through."
Jeff's face softened a little. "I appreciate that and I love you too, but there's more to the story that makes this more complicated. I don't expect you to understand with your pretty smile and all. Damn you. You got naturally straight teeth and eyes that don't suck. I'm the unlucky bastard who got fucked up teeth and eyes that can't see for shit without help. Damn genetics."
"Hey, I earned my pretty smile. I had braces for like 3 years. This smile cost money, dude," Nick clarified.
Jeff laughed a little. "My bad. That must have been before I knew you. I just figured you had naturally straight teeth because they're kind of crooked at the bottom."
Nick gaped a little in offense. "Noooo they're not," he whined.
"Yes they are but it's okay, it's cute. It just means you don't wear your retainer like you should. I've never understood why people go through the trouble of braces just to stop wearing their retainer and have their teeth shift back. People like you are the reason permanent retainers exist," Jeff babbled.
"But retainers are stupid," was Nick's response.
"So is spending tons of money on straight teeth just to have them shift back."
"I forget to wear it sometimes," Nick defended lamely.
"Nick, I literally didn't even know you have a retainer so you clearly don't wear it, ever. Fix your life, man."
"You're one to talk."
Jeff just glared at Nick in response.
Both of their heads popped up when they heard the sound of a throat being cleared. A woman in scrubs, who looked mildly uncomfortable, was the source of the sound. "Would you like to reschedule the appointment?" she asked awkwardly.
Nick quickly wiped his dramatic love tears on the sleeve of his hoodie and stood up. "No, no. Please don't rescheduled the appointment. We want this one. I apologize for the um... slight delay. We're coming though."
Suddenly their little moment was over and Jeff shook himself back to reality, a rather unfortunate one. "We aren't coming. Cancel the appointment. Thanks," he said plainly.
"What? Jeff no, don't listen to him." Funny how Jeff didn't even pretend that he'd reschedule the appointment, he went right to cutting it altogether. Typical. This is why he wasn't allowed to have his way. "Please just give me 2 more minutes and we'll be in there. Is that okay?" Nick looked at the assistant pleadingly.
She furrowed her brows at the two in confusion but nodded. "I can give you 5 more minutes, tops. There are other patients waiting." Then she left.
"Please cancel the appointment!" Jeff tried again as she left but with no luck because she ignored him.
Nick scowled at Jeff. "You have a minute and a half to procrastinate and then we're going back inside."
Jeff sat back down in the parking lot and crossed his arms. "Nope."
Nick raised his eyebrows at Jeff and gaped as if he physically couldn't comprehend Jeff's childish behavior. "You've got to be kidding me. Jeff I will pick you up and bring you inside myself but I'd really prefer not to do that."
"I won't let you. I just want to leave Nicky," Jeff begged, giving his boyfriend big puppy dog eyes as if they would accomplish anything.
Nick was beyond frustrated at this point but he somehow mustered up some sympathy. "I know you want to leave Jeff, but that won't solve anything. If I let you leave then your tooth will still hurt when we get home. It's not going to go away and you know that. Just try. Talk to my dentist and if you absolutely can't stand her then I promise we can leave."
"No, because if I talk to her she'll want to look at my teeth and then she'll want to treat any issues and I can't deal with that."
"You say that like it's a bad thing. I promise it's not. I'll go first, okay? She's really nice and reasonable and I don't mind. Please for the love of god work with me Jeff. I need you to do this for me because running from this isn't an option anymore," Nick pleaded. He crouched down to Jeff's level and looked him in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"
Jeff was dead set on going home. He knew damn well if he talked to the dentist that he'd get suckered into doing other things because it was too embarrassing not to. Sure, he was acting like a giant kid now but he wasn't going to get in there and act like this. He was a reasonable human being, he'd only try to pull this shit with Nick. Which is exactly why he couldn't go in there because this was the only option he had to get out of the situation. So he continued to shake his head and resist as much as he could, refusing to give Nick any sign that he would cooperate.
Nick was slowly starting to grow impassive towards Jeff's distress. He tried to be a sweet understanding boyfriend but it wasn't getting him anywhere. Jeff wouldn't do this unless Nick interfered, and giving up wasn't an option. Maybe what he was about to do was harsh but it was for the greater good. Nick grabbed both of Jeff's wrists and pulled him off of the ground despite Jeff putting all of his weight in the opposite direction.
Jeff saw it in Nick's face the instant he started thinking with his brain instead of his heart. His face drained of emotion and grew stern, and then he made a quick move and grabbed Jeff. He wasn't quick enough to get away but Jeff damn sure tried his best not to move from his spot on the ground, but Nick was stronger.
"Dammit Nick let go of me!" Jeff shouted. "I will NEVER forgive you if you do this," he tried desperately. I'll break up with you. The threat crossed Jeff's mind and he almost said it out loud, but he didn't. That was too far.
"Jeff, I'll never forgive you if you don't ease up and just fucking get this shit over with," Nick bit out in frustration. He successfully got Jeff off of the ground and held him in place by putting a hand on both of his shoulders. "Listen to me. You are going to walk in there with me like an adult and stop this nonsense or I swear to god I'll sling you over my shoulder like a little kid and make you. It's over. Those are your options."
Jeff's entire body trembled with an unhealthy mix of anger and fear; his eyes watered because his body physically couldn't contain it anymore. He was exasperated and almost ready to give up, but he was too stubborn to accept defeat even though he knew he wasn't going to win. "No," he spat.
Nick was done. That was Jeff's last chance, he wasn't debating anymore. He took Jeff's wrists again and pulled him inside.
Jeff protested loudly and tried to pull himself away but he wasn't strong enough. He tried desperately to get away up until they were right by the door and the embarrassment set in. Then he gave up.
The receptionist saw them come back in and she quickly went into the back and retrieved the assistant, who followed her back out. The assistant smiled warmly at them. "Ready to come back?"
Nick answered for them and said yes, and the assistant nodded and started leading them back but Jeff was lagging behind. Nick had to push him gently.
Jeff's stomach lurched in horror when he realized what was happening and he started to grow weak and dizzy. He clung onto Nick tightly as everything started to grow fuzzy. "Nick I'm gonna faint."
"Jeff you'll be fine-" Nick figured Jeff was being dramatic until he started to go down. Nick went down with Jeff to prevent him from hitting his head. After the initial shock he looked up to the assistant and commented, "I guess he wasn't kidding."
The assistant looked pretty distressed, Nick assumed she was new or something and never encountered something like this. "He does this a lot. Once he fainted in a damn haunted house and hit his head. He's like one of those goats that faint when you yell at it. In retrospect I should have taken him seriously when he said he'd faint."
"I'm gonna go get the doctor," the assistant said before quickly scurrying away.
Jeff started to come to after a few seconds of being out, no more than 30 seconds or so. "Hello lovely. Don't worry you didn't hit your head. I've got you."
When Jeff came to his vision was fuzzy and he didn't know where he was, however it came rushing back to him pretty quickly and he tried to get up. It didn't work though because he was still too weak and dizzy, so the attempt was useless.
Right on cue the dentist came down the hall following the assistant. "Uh oh, let's get him into a room and get his feet elevated. Nick did he hit his head?"
"No, he's alright. I made sure he didn't hit his head." Nick helped pull Jeff off of the floor and got him into the directed room.
"Nick, bring him in here. Anyway, hi Jeff, I'm Dr. Rivera. I'm really sorry that you fainted. We need to lay you back for a minute so that the blood can get back to your head and you don't faint again, but after that I'll give you some water and we'll talk a bit. Does that sound okay?"
Jeff was helplessly at the mercy of Nick because he was still too weak to fight back, the fainting spell left him almost too weak to walk on his own. He felt dread crawl into his stomach when they entered the exam room, but that quickly flipped into panic once he was in the chair and they started to lay him back. This was happening way too fast and he felt trapped. In his panic he grabbed onto Nick's forearm and tried to stop his body from laying down flat.
"Stop it. I'm okay, please. I can sit up," Jeff pleaded. He managed to pull himself up with great effort, but the act made him dizzy again and his head was spinning.
Nick pushed him back down. "Jeff baby, you can't even see straight. Lay down for a minute. You're okay." He held onto both of Jeff's hands and tried to comfort his distressed boyfriend, but it didn't seem to do much.
Jeff was trembling hard but he laid there anyway, afraid that if he sat up again he'd embarrass himself too much. After a few minutes he felt less dizzy and the chair was sat up.
"Here Jeff. Do you feel a little bit better now?" Dr. Rivera asked, handing Jeff a cup of water.
Jeff accepted the water and nodded a little at the question.
"So Jeff is it alright if I talk to you? I have a few questions for you if that's alright. I'm Dr. Rivera by the way, if you didn't catch me saying that a few minutes ago. But you can call me Rose if you want, Dr. Rivera sounds too professional. I'm a Cancer, Ravenclaw, married and a mother of two. But that's enough about me," she said with a cheeky grin.
"What do you want to know?" Jeff asked in a near whisper.
Dr. Rivera frowned at Jeff's coldness but understood that he was still nervous. "Well to start out I need to know if there's anything that I can do to make you feel more comfortable."
Jeff looked reluctant at first, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to trust or talk to her at all, but figured he'd give her a chance. "I um... I don't like being leaned back all the way like I was earlier. It makes me feel panicky."
Rose nodded in understanding. "I can work with that. So Jeff is there anything in particular that scares you about this situation?"
Jeff didn't know how to answer so he just shook his head, so this is were Nick stepped in and tried to be helpful. "Jeffy do you want me to tell her?"
"Nick, you don't know," Jeff countered.
"I have an idea," Nick responded.
Jeff decided he didn't want Nick to say whatever he thought he knew, so he spoke up instead. "I don't know. It's confusing. I know 'everything' is a lame answer, but I can't think of anything about this situation that doesn't freak me out," Jeff said honestly. "But maybe... ugh I don't know."
She looked at him pointedly. "Tell me what you were going to say. The first thing that popped into your head," Dr. Rivera said gently.
Jeff looked to the floor in embarrassment. "I don't want anyone in my mouth but that's a stupid answer."
"That's not a stupid answer. What about that scares you?" She was looking at him with a gentle, understanding gaze. "Are you afraid of pain, judgement, vulnerability, lack of control?" she suggested.
Jeff laughed a little to himself. "All of that. But... I think embarrassment stands out a bit more. I suppose that can go in hand with judgement," he admitted.
She nodded in understanding. "You'd be surprised by how often I hear that. Even the people with the best teeth are embarrassed to an extent. But let me tell you, I've seen some things. Your teeth aren't just barely hanging on by the tips of the roots, right?" Rose joked a little.
Jeff covered his mouth in horror dramatically. "No. Definitely not. I floss. I know everyone says that when they're here but I really do floss. I don't want my teeth to fall out of my head."
Dr. Rivera smiled in amusement. "That just makes my heart swoon, Jeff. You've already won my heart."
Jeff was secretly starting to like Dr. Rivera a lot. "Is there anything else you want to ask me?"
"Let me know if this is going too fast, but I would like to know more about your current situation. Are you experiencing any pain right now?" she asked.
Jeff clammed up here in embarrassment.
"Yes he is," Nick spoke up for him. "Jeff is miserable. I don't know how long he hid the toothache from me, but ever since I found out about it he hasn't stopped complaining. I know it must be bad because sometimes it brings him to tears. That's why we're here now."
Jeff's face turned bright red.
Dr. Rivera looked to Jeff sympathetically. "It's okay, honey. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You're here now trying to deal with it and that's all that matters."
Jeff just nodded silently.
"Jeff I would like to take x-rays and do a thorough examination to see what's going on, but would you feel comfortable with that?" Dr. Rivera asked.
"Nick said he would go first," Jeff squeaked out. "Can you show me on him first?" He was desperate to put this off for as long as possible.
"Of course. I can do that. Do you want to switch seats with Nick?"
Jeff all too eagerly jumped out of the chair for his boyfriend to take his place.
Nick rolled his eyes in amusement but climbed into the chair. "We were talking on the way over here and I was wondering how many fillings I have. Can you tell me?"
"That I am definitely qualified to do. Let me see." She pulled Nick's chart up on the computer. "Hmm... it looks like you have three fillings. #2, #15, and #12 all have restorations."
Jeff knew what that meant but Nick had no idea. "So the two top back molars, right? But where's the other one?" Nick asked.
"Yes. #12 is the first premolar on the left side. It's really tiny and was probably done when you were young so it makes sense that you didn't notice or remember," Dr. Rivera explained. She stood up from her place at the computer and washed her hands. "So Nick do you have any questions or concerns?"
"I'm good," Nick said smoothly.
Jeff didn't understand how Nick was so calm. 'This is the part where you're supposed to puke or something' he thought to himself.
Dr. Rivera walked back over with gloves on and started lowering the chair. "Nick you just had a cleaning 3 months ago so I really don't need to do one. I guess I'll just do a quick exam and show Jeff what that consists of." She reclined the chair back so it was parallel to the floor and moved her chair directly under Nick's head. Then she flipped on the light and adjusted it over his mouth.
Jeff's stomach twisted in fear and discomfort. He felt like this was a personal thing and he shouldn't have been watching. He wouldn't have wanted Nick to watch if this were him. "Nick are you sure it's okay that I watch?" Jeff asked sheepishly.
Nick laughed, actually laughed at the question as if he thought it was genuinely amusing that Jeff was asking for permission. "Of course. Why would I care? I'm only doing this to help you."
Jeff felt his stomach sink further. Of course the shame aspect of this wouldn't make sense to Nick. Why would he understand? "I don't know. Never mind."
Dr. Rivera looked to Jeff with knowing eyes as if she understood what his refusal to share his reasoning meant, but she didn't say anything. Instead she moved the mask to cover her face and then picked up the mirror and explorer. "Okay Nick can you open please?"
Nick opened his mouth without hesitation. Jeff couldn't wrap his head around it. This type of behavior literally didn't make sense in his mind. This was supposed to be terrifying, but here Nick was literally not giving a single shit.
"Okay Jeff what I'm doing here is just poking around at Nick's teeth. That's all it boils down to. I scrape around a bit with the explorer to look for small cavities. Healthy tooth structure is hard so when the explorer gets caught on something that means it's a cavity. If I see an obvious cavity I'm not going to touch it, but visually I can't see tiny cavities. In doing this I can also find fillings and check the stability of them. Well done white fillings can be hard to spot even with my trained eyes, but when I scrape against the tooth I can tell the difference. Obviously with silver fillings it's not hard to spot the difference between filling and tooth, but Nick doesn't have any of those. So anyway, right here on #15 the filling isn't that big and it's hard to spot, but I can feel the difference. A small portion of the buccal surface here is filling but it's really hard to see. I don't think you can even see the difference." Dr. Rivera explained thoroughly.
Once Jeff got over the initial 'I shouldn't be watching this' aspect of observing Nick's exam he found it really interesting. "It looks really pretty, I can't see the difference. Did you do that filling?" Jeff asked.
"I believe I did. Nick has been my patient for quite a while," she supplied. "Some dentist like to make the composite filling a slightly different shade than the tooth, and to be fair that makes it easier to spot for the dentist but I don't like to do that. When I do composite fillings I make them look as natural as possible."
Jeff was pretty fascinated, but as Nick's exam continued he felt his stomach sicken with guilt and embarrassment. Nick's smile was so pretty and perfect, his wasn't.
After a few minutes Dr. Rivera finished Nick's exam. "Nick, I don't see any issues but I must ask, did you lose your retainer? It doesn't look like you've been wearing it."
"I um... I still have it but it doesn't fit anymore."
"Bring it in and I'll have it refitted. That will keep your teeth from shifting more than they already have," Dr. Rivera said pointedly.
"Pffttt, he won't wear it," Jeff inquired.
She laughed. "I know but I figured I'd bring it up anyway. He keeps giving me excuses to why he can't or won't wear it. We've been doing this dance for years, I'm not surprised. Anyway Nick, you can get up. You're done."
Nick nodded and climbed out of the chair, ignoring the pointed look Jeff gave him.
After Nick got up Jeff felt himself start to panic again at the prospect of switching places with him. The little presentation helped with the fear aspect, but didn't help with the shame at all and if anything made it worse.
Dr. Rivera noticed Jeff's face pale. "Jeff, stay seated where you are for now. I want to talk to you a bit more. Did watching Nick help you at all and do you have any questions for me?"
'Well shit, you don't have to tell me twice' Jeff thought to himself. "It helped a little," he murmured. "I don't feel very good. Where's the bathroom?" He was itching to get out of there before he got suckered into getting into the chair.
"Jeff, you don't need to use the bathroom. Stay here and talk out your worries," Nick said knowingly.
Jeff's face blanched. "I know you're going to want me to get in the chair soon. The second I stop talking you're going to ask me to and I can't say no because that's embarrassing. I'll have to do it," he admitted frantically, rubbing at the back of his neck.
"Jeff, you can always say no with me. I promise I won't make you do anything you don't feel comfortable with," Dr. Rivera assured. "You saw how easy the exam with Nick was so what's got you so worked up?"
Jeff was trembling hard again and he felt humiliated. "Nick is different."
"What do you mean?" she asked gently.
Jeff glanced to Nick nervously. He didn't want to admit this in front of him.
"Do you want me to step out?" Nick asked.
"No!" Jeff said quickly. "Don't leave me. I'm so scared. I feel like I'm going to puke. I can't do this," he said, rubbing at his temples and trying not to cry. This was so embarrassing.
"Yes you can," Nick said gently. He walked up behind Jeff and tried to rub his shoulders a little to make him feel better, but Jeff was jumpy and anyone touching him was just making him flinch more. But after calming down a bit more he eased into Nick's touch.
"Why is Nick different?" Dr. Rivera asked.
Jeff squeezed his eyes shut and just said it. "Nick isn't scared. He's only ever had good experiences and he doesn't have any issues with his teeth and his smile is pretty." Jeff could feel his face burning red in embarrassment.
"Jeff, you shouldn't be ashamed of things you can't control. Besides, do you think people come here because their teeth are perfect? 9 times out of 10 people don't come here until they have an issue and that's okay. I'm used to it and I promise your teeth aren't going to surprise me," Dr. Rivera replied. "And maybe you've only had bad experiences up until this point but I promise this won't be like that. Is there anything you want to tell me about that Jeff?"
Jeff shook his head. He couldn't talk about it, not yet. He physically couldn't even if he wanted to. "I can't."
"Okay Jeff. Well, I know you're still nervous but do you think you'd be willing to try small baby steps? I think you're capable of way more than you think you are," Dr. Rivera encouraged.
Jeff started shaking again. Of course he wanted to say no, but Dr. Rivera had been so patient and nice, and he already felt guilty for dragging this out for as long as he did. He couldn't say no. Technically he could have, but it wasn't worth the embarrassment anymore. "I um... what's the first step?" he asked.
"The first step is laying down in the chair. That's all you have to do. I won't even lean it back all the way like I did with Nick, I'll leave it propped up a little for you," Dr. Rivera offered.
Jeff seemed to still be having an internal debate with himself so Nick stepped in. "Jeff, I'll hold your hand the entire time," Nick offered.
They were both looking at him expectantly, so Jeff just nodded in agreement. Getting his body to cooperate was another story though, so Nick helped him into the chair.
"Good job, Jeff. Just sit there for a moment and get comfortable. I need to grab another clean tray and wash my hands again. I'll be right back," Dr. Rivera said before leaving the room momentarily.
Jeff looked to Nick with pleading eyes. "Please can we leave? I promise I'll never complain about my tooth hurting ever again," Jeff tried.
Nick scowled at his boyfriend's relentless ways. "You're ridiculous. You're already here. Let's just wait and see what's going on, you aren't even getting your tooth fixed today. This is just a cleaning and exam."
Now Jeff was the one who scowled. "I don't want a cleaning. I didn't agree to that."
Nick sighed. "My dear boyfriend, why are you such a giant man-child? It's just a cleaning. It won't hurt. Let's not argue about this now. Just worry about the exam, okay?"
"I'm already worrying about that! I'm worrying about all of it!" Jeff fretted.
"No, no. It was a figure of speech. Don't worry about any of it, you're gonna be fine," Nick hushed his boyfriend.
The debate didn't go any farther because Dr. Rivera walked back in with the clean tray.
"Jeff how are you feeling?" she asked as she washed her hands again.
Kind of like I'm going to shit myself. "Fantastic," Jeff said sarcastically.
Dr Rivera smiled as she sat back down. "Don't sound so happy," she teased. "Okay Jeff, I'm going to lay you back a tiny bit now."
Jeff grimaced as the chair started moving down. "I have a sneaking suspicion that I know what the next step is."
"I don't think you do," Rose said with a wicked grin. She pulled a pair of Spider-Man sunglasses out of a drawer and put them on Jeff.
That received a genuine laugh from Jeff.
"Well this isn't fair. You never give me Spider-Man sunglasses," Nick joked.
"In all honesty Jeff, those probably don't fit on your face. You don't have to keep them on." She took off the child-sized sunglasses and handed them to Nick.
Nick put on the sunglasses. "These are cool. I'm keeping them."
Jeff kept laughing. "Nick, stop. I can't take you seriously with those on your face."
"No, I'm keeping them on."
"And you call me the man-child," Jeff remarked.
Nick finally took off the sunglasses after a few good laughs and got back into serious boyfriend mode.
Dr. Rivera cleared her throat awkwardly to bring them back to the situation at hand. "Anyway, Jeff I'm going to lay the chair back a tad more but you tell me if it's too much."
Jeff felt his stomach lurch as his head went back farther but he didn't say anything. He could feel his breathing grow shallow in anticipation. She was going to ask him to open his mouth any second now. He winced when she flipped on the light and fumbled around for Nick's hand.
Nick grabbed Jeff's hand and started rubbing it gently with his thumb. "You're alright. Just keep breathing," Nick soothed.
"Nick, promise me you won't look," Jeff squeaked out frantically.
"What do you mean?" Nick asked stupidly.
Jeff huffed in annoyance. Why did he have to spell everything out for Nick? "When she does the exam, don't look at what she's doing. Promise you won't look at me."
"You're ridiculous but I won't look. I promise. I'm just here to comfort you, okay?" Nick agreed.
Jeff nodded. He looked up at the ceiling, silently wondering how he got into this situation and wanting desperately to get out of it.
Dr. Rivera picked up the mirror and explorer. "Okay Jeff. Just a quick look around and then we'll take X-rays. Can you open for me?"
Jeff felt his heart beating hard in his chest, almost like it was violently protesting. The next 5 seconds felt like the longest and most awkward moments of his entire life. The longer he went without opening his mouth the more embarrassed he felt, but opening his mouth would have been just as embarrassing. He'd already put this off for so long and wasted so much of her time. He couldn't ask for anymore time. He'd run out of time. He wasn't allowed to put this off for any longer. So he shakily opened his mouth, not because he wanted to but because it was the only option to avoid further embarrassment.
"Open your mouth a little bit more for me please," she asked gently.
Jeff shut his eyes and opened his mouth almost as wide as he could, granting her full access this time. There was no going back now.
A/N: Another cliff hanger, damn me! I know. But it's the only way I get reviews. I'm just working the system, man. So I guess that means you guys have to review if you want more words ;)
Also, do you guys like the idea of starting out each chapter with a flashback? Tell me if you have any flashback ideas, or tell me if you hate the idea, or tell me you're mad at me for taking so damn long to update. See you next chapter!
