I am just as glad as all of you that I was able to finally get my story up yesterday. Please keep reading and reviewing.
Baby You Can Drive My Car
11:00pm
House and Cuddy walked off the plane. The walked outside and headed for the car rental office.
"Why is it about 9,000 degrees out here?" House asked when they walked out.
"It is like 80 degrees out here," Cuddy said. "I think you can suck it up."
"But it's night time," House said.
"It's called a heat wave," Cuddy said. "This many come as a shock to you, but Kansas does have air conditioners."
"How did they get them installed on their covered wagons?" House asked.
"This isn't 1865," Cuddy said. "We will be staying in Johnson County. That is one of the richest counties in the US."
"They have to have a lot of money to cover the costs of all the buffalos they hit," House said.
"What?" Cuddy said.
"Kansas's state song is Home on the Range. 'Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam."
"I am glad you got your Kansas history from elementary school music."
"I have other sources," House said.
"Ding-dong the witch is dead
Which old witch? The wicked witch
Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead
Wake up you sleepyhead
Rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up the wicked witch is dead"
"The Wizard Of Oz?" Cuddy asked.
"That's a classic," House said as he started singing like a muchkin.
"We represent the Lullaby League
The Lullaby League, the Lullaby League
And in the name of the Lullaby League
We wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land"
"You are weird," Cuddy said with a laugh.
"I like to make you laugh," House said.
"Ha, ha, ha
Ho, ho, ho
And a couple of tra - la - las
That's how we laugh the day away
In the Merry Old Land of Oz"
"Thank you," Cuddy said laughing.
"We should rent that," House said.
"Apparently, you have already seen it too many times because you can recite the lines," Cuddy said.
"My mom loved that movie," House said.
"We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We'll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does"
House and Cuddy walked up to the rental car office. "You stay out here," Cuddy said. "I don't think they allow singing in there." Cuddy went in to sign the papers. House watched the airplanes pass by overhead.
"I'll drive," House said when Cuddy came out.
"This is under my name, so please do not wreck it," Cuddy said.
"Well I was planning on doing it, but know I won't because you said so," House said rolling his eyes.
House and Cuddy got into the car and started driving towards Overland Park.
"Why is traffic so horrible?" House asked. "Do people not sleep here?"
"It will get better when we get farther from the airport and enter into Kansas," Cuddy said.
"Do you have the directions?" House asked.
"Yeah," Cuddy said just head south until you find I-35."
House started humming to himself and then started singing.
"Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the kids is a lion of shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!"
"That's not The Wizard Of Oz," Cuddy said. "That was the Oompa Loompas."
"Okay Ms. Smartie-pants, what is this one from?" House asked.
"Somewhere in my memory,
Christmas joys all around me,
living in my memory,
all of the music,
all of the magic,
all of the family home here with me."
"Home Alone," Cuddy said.
"That's pretty good," House said. "How about this one?"
"But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddamn joke.
And when I think of you Linda,
I hope you fucking choke."
"The Wedding Singer," Cuddy said. "This isn't even a challenge."
"I got one for you," House said as he started to sing in a beat poet rhythm.
"Harriet, sweet Harriet.
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.
Beautiful, bemused, bellicose...butcher.
So know-ing.
So trust-ing.
So lov...ed?
He wants you back he screams into the night air, like a fireman going to a window that has no fire...'cept the passion of his heart.
I am lonely!"
It's really hard!
This poem...sucks."
"So I Married An Axe Murderer," Cuddy said laughing. "It is pretty hard to forget that."
"I think we both have seen way to many movies," House said.
"As John Lennon would say, 'Whatever Get You Thru The Night,'" Cuddy said.
"Sex will get me through the night," House said.
"I guess I will just have to give you some then," Cuddy said.
"Oh yeah," House said in his Kool-Aid Man voice. He then quickly swerved onto an exit ramp.
"I didn't mean right this second," Cuddy said as she grabbed onto the door.
"I saw The Bell and I am hungry," House said.
"The Bell?" Cuddy asked. "You want to have Taco Bell at 11:00 at night?"
"I'm pregnant," House said. "The baby has cravings."
"Is your kid Mexican?" Cuddy asked.
"Leave little Pedro alone," House said. "Juanita and I are in love."
"The custodian at the hospital?" Cuddy asked.
"Yes," House said. "She gets me."
"I am very happy for you two," Cuddy said as they pulled into the parking lot.
After they were done eating, they pulled back onto the road. House saw Cuddy was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.
"Just go to sleep Cuddy," House said.
"I am fine," Cuddy said.
"I don't want you sleepy during our sex session," House said.
"Okay," Cuddy said as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
