Okay, I know I've said I would post the second chapter on Wednesday, but I'm a little nervous about this chapter, so I'm just going to post it now...

I want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing and following, you guys are seriously amazing!

The most asked question was: Is Christian still alive?

You'll find out if Christian is alive in this chapter...

Ana

"Mommy, me wants to play football with Uncle Lelliot." Chrissie tells me on our way to Elliot's home. After Christian's birthday a few days ago, I have taken a few days off at work to spend more time with Chrissie. Sometimes I really feel guilty that I am working so much, I know I'm not neglecting my daughter by any means, but deep down I wish I could be a stay at home mom, while Christian would take care of GEH. I guess in a perfect world that would be how things would work, but I am not living in a perfect world, so I have to make the best out of the time I can spend with Chrissie each day.

"Well baby girl, I am sure Uncle Lelliot will be happy to play with you." I tell her and smile. Elliot has been the best Uncle to her one could imagine. Actually, he is a lot more like a father to her. Deep down I know he feels that he owes it to his brother to take care of his daughter and I am very thankful for that. I want my daughter to have a male role model like I had with Ray. For a while, everyone hoped that Elliot and I would start to date and I guess it was Mia putting pressure on us that finally made us cave two years ago.

We went on a date and actually had a good time, mostly because it didn't feel like being on a date, but more like having a good time with a friend or even a sibling. When he walked me to the front door after he had driven me home, we both really didn't know how to say goodbye and when he leaned in to kiss me we both felt so awkward that we started to laugh. We laughed until we both cried and that was the first time I had laughed this hard since Christian passed away.

I love Elliot with all my heart, but it is like I would love a brother and not the wild passion and love that I felt for Christian. And I would feel like betraying him by moving on with his brother. It just didn't seem right, which might have been another reason why I never had any romantic feelings for Elliot.

Apart from that I've been on one other date with someone I had met a fundraiser, but I never went on a second date with him, because it just felt wrong at the time. I know that at some point I have to put myself out there, but for now I'm just not ready and forcing myself to move on won't make me or anyone else happy. I'm still young, only twenty-five, so I don't feel like I have to find a man and get married any time soon. In addition, I would have to use time I could spend with my daughter to invest it in a new relationship and I don't want that, not now anyway.

Arriving at Elliot's I smile when I see him waiting at the front door of his home. He lives just a few miles away from us and we visit him quite often. Chrissie can't get out of her car seat fast enough when she sees him and the moment we are out of the car she runs to him and jumps into his arms.

"Me missed you Uncle Lelliot." She giggles when he swirls her around and he stops to blow a raspberry onto her belly, which makes her squirm and laugh out loud.

"You missed me, huh? Well, I missed you too, princess. And guess what... I have a surprise for you, who finds it first can keep it!" He announces and the both race into the house, which makes Taylor and me snort.

"It's like they are both kids, right?" I ask amused, Taylor nods and we go inside. Unlike Christian, I include the security in everything I do. I just don't like the thought that I am having a good time, while Taylor or Sawyer are outside in the car waiting. Over time, they have become family to me and it makes it much easier for me to see them as friends than as employees.

Inside I find Elliot and Chrissie in the kitchen loading a couple of super soakers.

"Elliot! I don't have a change of clothes for Chrissie." I groan and he grins at me.

"Don't worry, sis. I have bought some clothes for her, so can we please play outside, mommy?" He asks teasingly and I roll my eyes at him.

"As if there is any chance for me to stop the two of you."

"Great, come on princess, whoever gets Auntie Mia first gets a big scoop of chocolate ice cream." Elliot says and they run out to the backyard.

"Can you believe that I allow this guy to baby-sit my daughter?" I ask Taylor chuckling and make my way to the fridge where I get a bottle of beer for him and a can of root beer for myself.

Taylor just laughs and takes the beer before we follow them outside.

"Ana, oh darling, you look wonderful." Grace gushes the moment she sees me and we hug.

"Thanks Grace, you look good too and thanks again for taking Chrissie on Christian's birthday... I wish I could say it was different, but I am a mess when his birthday comes around."

"Darling, you never have to thank me for spending time with my granddaughter. There were times where this precious little girl was all that kept me going and I am so thankful that you chose to embrace us as your family instead of moving on with your daughter, because I know sometimes being around us has made this harder for you..."

"No, that's not true, Grace. All of you... the people who loved Christian the most, it is the biggest comfort for me to have you around. Now, let's not start the crying again, Christian would absolutely hate that." I say and we both start to laugh when Mia squeals because both Chrissie and Elliot are unloading there super soakers on her.

"Elliot! Stop it, that's not funny!" She shrieks, but the fact that she is laughing hard shows that she actually doesn't want them to stop and only two minutes later Elliot and Mia start to wrestle with each other for the super soaker, which ends with both of them landing in the pool.

"Mommy, me wants to jump in the pool too. Can I? Can I? Please?" Chrissie begs and that gives me an idea. I take my shoes and cardigan off, pick Chrissie up and take her shoes off.

"You want to jump into the pool, baby girl?" I ask her grinning and she nods excited.

"Okay, ready or not here we come." I call out, run over to the pool and jump in with Chrissie in my arms.

When we come up to the surface Chrissie is laughing her head off and we start a water war against Elliot and Mia.

"Oh my god, stop please, I'm done." I laugh and pant at the same time.

An hour later, I'm dressed in a football jersey from Elliot and a pair of jeans shorts Mia had in her car and sip on the cocktail Mia has made for us while Mia and Chrissie are playing.

"Are you okay, Grace?" I ask because she is rubbing her eyes and sniffing.

"Yes, just allergies and I forgot my eye drops at home, darling."

"I can get them for you; I left my sunglasses last time I was over, so I can get them too."

"Oh, you don't have to sweetheart."

"No, it's okay; just tell me where your eye drops are."

"They are in the medicine cabinet in the master bathroom."

"Okay, I'll be quick." I get up and tell Chrissie that I need to get something for her Grammy real quick and Taylor follows me.

At Grace's house, I open the door with the key that is always placed under a small rock in the flowerbed and frown. I wish she would stop putting a key there. If I wanted to break into a home that's the first spot where I would look for a key."

"I'll be quick, Taylor." I let him know when I walk up the stairs and go into master bathroom, where I find the eye drops. I take them and make my way to Christian's childhood bedroom, which is the room where Chrissie and I stay whenever we are staying here. I take my sunglasses, which are on the dresser and put them on top of my head.

Looking around I sigh. I will never forget the night of the Coping Together gala where Christian and I came up here to have sex. The first time he took a girl to his old bedroom. I close my eyes and relive those memories in my head. Taking a deep breath, I decide that I need to focus on my future, not the past. I leave the bedroom and suddenly I have this odd feeling, the one I used to have when Christian was close by. I try to shake it off, but it just gets more and more intense.

Without realizing what I am doing I find myself walking towards the family room. I open the door and step in and it isn't until my eyes focus on the figure sitting in the chair by the window that my heart nearly stops. I clutch my mouth with one hand to stop myself from screaming, afraid that if I do, I will wake up and he just disappears.

Christian's eyes are fixed on me and my heart is beating so fast that it feels like it is trying to escape my chest. I want to say something, throw myself into his arms, but I can't. They only thing that I can do is to stare at him wide eyed as he slowly gets up and walks towards me never breaking eye contact and I think I am going to faint when he stops in front of me.

I look at him and slowly take my hand off my mouth. Very slowly, I reach out to touch him, afraid that he will vanish the second I touch him and then I do it and he is here, he is real.

Tears start to flow down my face and I start to touch his arms, his chest, his face. Not able to understand how this can be happening and the more I realize that it really is true, that he is here alive, the more I start to sob and then he pulls me into his arms and I just cry into his chest.

"It's okay, I got you, Ana. I'm really here." He murmurs into my hair and just hearing his voice makes me cry even harder.

"Ana what is... mother fucking son of a bitch!" I hear Taylor call out followed by Christian laughing.

"Well, it's good to see you too, Taylor." Christian says and I look up at him. I can't help it, I have dreamed of this moment so often that I can't stop myself from kissing him.

And that's where my dream ends, because he doesn't kiss me back. I stop and step back my gaze roaming over him and then I see it and my world comes crashing down again when I see the wedding band he is wearing on his right hand.

"Ana, look I ..." He says, but I hold my hand up and slip into my CEO persona. It's the only thing I can do to stop myself from having a complete meltdown in front of him.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I will call your family, they are at Elliot's. I'll be back soon. Taylor?" I nod at him to follow me and he looks just as devastated as I feel.

"Taylor, I need you to drive over to Elliot's and take Chrissie home. This is not the right moment for them to meet. It should be just his parents and siblings for today. After Chrissie is home please come and pick me up."

"Ana, please don't be like that... you have every right to feel whatever you are feeling right now." He says, but I can't take it.

"Just do it." I snap and he sighs and leaves. I get my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and call Carrick.

"Ana, didn't you find the eye drops?"

"No, I have them Carrick, but... something came up. Taylor is coming over to pick Chrissie up, after that I need all of you to come to Bellevue."

"What is wrong, Ana?"

"It's hard to explain, Carrick. Just come here as fast as you can, all of you. Bye." I hang up and take a couple of deep breaths before I return into the family room. Ignoring Christian I make my way to the bar and pour myself a whisky which I down in one gulp.

"Sorry, but I really needed that." I mutter and Christian actually laughs.

"Yeah, I guess meeting your dead ex-boyfriend was not something you've expected to do today, eh?" He asks amused and hearing him refer to himself as my ex-boyfriend really fucking hurts.

"Not really, so... how?"

"I can't tell you. I only have my memories back for a couple of months..."

"Months?" I ask shocked.

"Yes, you have to understand I have a very different life now, Ana. I woke up in a hospital in Alabama over three and a half years ago with no memories at all. The police checked missing person cases, but no one was looking for me, so I got a new identity and have lived in Alabama ever since. Having no memories... not having to live with my fucked up past, it made me feel free for the first time in my life. When my memories came back four months ago... I was torn. I wanted to let my family know that I am still alive, but I didn't want to go back to the life that I had. I don't want to be that person again. The fuck up, the loner... it's not who I am today." He says and I am starting to get angry... not just for me, but for his family and for our daughter.

"What changed your mind?"

"Kelsey... my wife, she encouraged me to come home to see my family. We want to start a family soon and ... I'm sorry, Ana, I shouldn't tell you all of this." He mutters when he sees the horror on my face.

"No, I want to know."

"Kelsey has a big family and I want our children to know my family too... and we were thinking about moving, so why not Seattle. Once I have everything that I own back, Kelsey and I want to demolish the house at Sound that I've bought the day before Charlie Tango crashed and built our home there." He says and I gasp.

"Ana, please, it's just an old house, nothing special." He tries again and if he had spit in my face it couldn't have been more devastating.

"Well, it is not just an old house to me. It's been my home for the last three years and I am telling you now, you can have everything back that you have left me, but you won't get the house back. After all you've bought it in my name."

"You... you moved into the house?"

"Yes, Elliot renovated it for me, I have spent countless hours decorating it and it's my home. If I have to go through every court in this country to keep it I will do just that, because to me it is not just an old house."

I want to laugh about this situation, I have dreamed that he would one day just show up again and now he is married, about to start a family with someone else and all he wants from me is to move out of my house. The same house he bought for us to live in and grow old together.

"We can discuss this another time, is my family coming over?"

"Yes, they are, I'm just waiting for Taylor to return so he can take me home."

"He is working for you now?"

"Yes, Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan, Reynolds and Gail are all working for me."

He nods and rubs his hands through his hair. "So, what have you done in the last couple of years, are you married?"

"No, I didn't really date anyone; I was busy with GEH most of the time." I tell him and he looks at me surprised.

"You've kept it?"

"Yes, of course. It was your legacy. Everyone told me to sell it, but I couldn't. For the first two years, it wasn't easy. With you presumed dead, many of the deals that weren't sealed by the time went down hill, because they didn't think I could keep GEH running. Ros is the CEO now, I'm the president and for the last two years the company has been making more money then ever."

"I'm glad you've kept my company, but we deal with all of that later. Tell me about my family." He says and I refill my tumbler with whisky.

"Well, Grace and Carrick are still working, though Grace is thinking about going into retirement in a year or two. Carrick... he will probably keel over in a courtroom one day, as he doesn't even want to hear the word retirement. Elliot... he is still the same, never settling down, always joking and Mia, she is engaged to a guy named Patrick with whom she owns several restaurants on the West Coast. They want to get married on Christmas day this year."

"What kind of guy is this Patrick?"

"He is a good guy, just turned 31, hard working and he adores Mia. You don't have to worry about him."

"And Elliot isn't seeing your roommate anymore?" He asks and I snort.

"No, and I haven't talked to Katherine in over than three and a half years."

"Why?"

"She sold us all out for a big story and after that I never wanted to see her again. I guess when the going gets tough you really learn who your friends are and who are not. Kate and Jose are definitively not my friends."

He frowns and sits down. "Do you see my family often?"

"Yes, we are very close." I say and his frown deepens. "Look Ana, I... I have no idea what all of you must have been through when you thought that I was dead, but... if I want to come back to Seattle I can't expect my wife to be okay with the fact that my ex-girlfriend is around all of the time. We should try to keep every contact between us to a minimum. I really don't want to hurt you and I know this situation must be incredible hard for you, but maybe it would be best if you just stop having contact to my family. We can get the legalities with GEH and everything else done and then just move on with our lives."

I have to put the tumbler down, because I am squeezing it so hard, I'm afraid it is going to break.

"You are right, you have no idea, Christian and there are things you don't know and I don't wish to discuss them now, because today should be about you, your parents and your siblings. But maybe tomorrow you and your wife can come to my place and we can talk. Tell Carrick to come over too, so he can tell what steps we need to take in order for you to get everything that it yours back."

"I guess we can do that. So... what else have you done these last couple of years?"

"Not much really, mostly working... I've been to England... well it was for a business meeting, but still... at least I have been there."

"That's good, so I want you to know that no matter how we resolve all of this, I want you to keep SIP."

"Christian, I have sold SIP nearly two years ago. It was already a dead weight when you bought it, Ros and I tried everything to fix it, but the management wasn't really cooperative, in the end, we had to make a decision and sold SIP, it was closed only two months later. We have re-employed some of the staff, but there is no SIP and I am sure that with my resume I will be able to find a decent job without any problems."

"I'll find something else for you; I don't want you to worry about that. Have you sold any of my properties?"

"No, I haven't sold anything. The New York apartment is still there as is your house in Aspen and the penthouse at Escala. I will ask Mac to have the Grace back at the marina; she is currently at my place."

"Do you sail?" He asks and smiles.

"Yes, quite often actually and guess what. I made Elliot piss his pants when I took him soaring last month." I giggle and he laughs.

"I'm impressed, Miss Steele. If I remember it correctly you were pretty scared when I gave you control over the glider when I took you soaring."

"I was, but there is really not much left that can scare me these days."

"And Elliot pissed his pants?"

"Yup, he screamed like a girl and thought we were both going to die. He vowed to never ever go soaring again."

"What else has happened since... you know?" He asks and I sit down and stare at my hands. I guess there is no easy way to tell him this.

"Your family knows what Elena Lincoln has done to you and she is currently in prison serving a life sentence with no chance of parole."

I watch him blench and then he glares at me. "You've told them?"

"Yes, I did and I do not regret it. Your father went to her place to confront her and found her in her basement molesting a thirteen years old boy. The police has found hundreds and hundreds of pictures of different boys she has molested over the years. She is a pedophile Christian and the only thing that I regret is that I didn't tell anyone earlier, because maybe then she wouldn't have had the time to get her claws into her last victim. I know you believe she helped you, but this woman is what some people like to call a savior abuser. She promises the parents her help with their kids only to rape them and while the parents are thankful for the help they are getting their children have to go through hell and judging from that dungeon in her basement it really looked like hell."

"She really did that?"

"Yes, she did and believe me, the world is a better place because this evil person is safely locked behind bars with no chances to ever get out. But now tell me about your life."

"Well, I woke up in a hospital in Alabama with no memories at all. Like I've said there was no missing person's report that would fit my description, so after some time of being John Doe, which annoyed the hell out of me, I was given a new identity. Alexander Fisher. I stayed in Alabama and started to work at a ranch, which is owned by the family of my wife. I've met her while I was still at the hospital, she is a nurse and helped me to get a job at her parent's ranch... look I don't want to hurt you with this, so let's just say we've been together for nearly three years now and married for two years. I still work at her family's ranch and then one day four months ago I got my memories back."

He has been with her for nearly three years... married for two years... there is nothing I can do about that and he seems happy...

"Ana?" I hear Grace call out and get up.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." I mutter and leave the room before he can say another word. I find Grace and the rest of her family downstairs and try to smile.

"Have you cried, darling? What is going on?"

"I... oh my God, I don't really know how to explain this ... there ... there is someone upstairs in the family room who wants to see you."

"What, who?" Grace asks and I have no idea how to tell her.

"It's... look I know this will sound like a really bad joke and you won't believe me... I didn't believe it myself and I'm still waiting to wake up any second... but it..." I stop when Grace starts to shake her head, because she knows, she knows what I am about to tell her.

"Ana... are you... I mean are you trying to tell me that... that..." She stops when I nod and with a speed I have never seen before she is running up the stairs and a second later we all hear her scream followed by loud sobbing.

"What the fuck?" Elliot exclaims and looks at me, as do Mia and Carrick.

"It's Christian." I finally get out and watch them all run up the stairs. For a moment, I just stand there, thinking of what to do. I don't want to go back upstairs; I don't think I could handle being in the same room with him without breaking down any longer. So, I step outside and take a couple of deep breaths.

While I wait for Taylor to pick me up, I start to feel terrible about myself. For four years, I have wished nothing more than that Christian would just show up again one day and now that the impossible has happened, all I feel is pity for myself because he is with someone else. I should be happy that he is alive and happily married, that he has found someone to share his life with, but the truth is I am not and a tiny part of me wishes that he would have stayed in Alabama without ever letting us know that he is alive. Because at least then I could have lived in the knowledge that I was the one woman in his life that he truly loved...

Okay, I'm going to hide now...