Four weeks ago...

"Number CRM-101404? Are you high?" said Justin. Justin, 39 (but says he's 33,) gay and gorgeous, opens a file and points to a piece of paper. " Says here he has red hair and freckles."

"And glasses too" I said.

" And why are you picking him? "

" Because he's honest. "

"He's ugly "

" And you think they're all telling the truth? " I say, pointing to a stack of potential donors." If they're so smart and good looking, why are they beating off into a cup? "

"Have you ever fucked a guy with red hair and reckless? " Justin asks.

" No, and I won't have to."

" What about your kid? No one's going to want to fuck your kid." He thinks for a moment and says " That came out wrong. "

" Yeah… Good thing you're not gonna be the father."

Eight weeks ago…

"WHAT? I can't be the father!" Justin said, totally freaking out.

" C'mon, we don't have to have sex." I said, hoping to convince him.

"Oh, Jesus, I didn't even think about that. Rewind, rewind, rewind..."

" You're one of my best friends, don't you wanna help me?" I said, giving him a pout face.

"Yeah, but...that's too much. I'll walk your dog, tell you when you look fat, be honest about your eyebrows..."

"Just a few sperm. Big deal. You waste billions of them every night!"

"You know I flee at the slightest chance of intimacy. Do you see these bags under my eyes?" He says, showing me the bags. "Ricardo slept over last night, and he wanted to hold me. I actually had to fake a seizure!"

" Forget it. Forget the whole thing." I say, sighing and putting my head in my hands.

Twelve weeks ago...

"Forget the whole thing! It's just a phase…" Polly said. She has the same age as I do, but looks so much older… We were sitting at the kitchen table, while she was tempering the chicken. " You don't want kids, trust me."

" Easy for you to say, you have four!"

"Yeah, and it's awful…"

As if they were just waiting her say that, three kids run through the kitchen yelling and screaming. A beat later, a toddler runs after them, crying.

" They've ruined my life…" She says, looking at them.

"Oh, come on…"

"Have you seen my vagina?!"

I shake my head.

" Do you want to?"

I shake my head again.

" I would do that for you. To prove to you that you don't want to have kids, I'll show you my vagina."

"I don't want to see your vagina. I want a baby. My own baby!"

" Is it possible you're just a little lonely? You know, you haven't met the right guy and—"

"It's not about a guy. I don't need a guy." I say, stopping her. "I don't even think I want a guy at this point. I've dated a hundred guys in the last five years, and not one of them is even close to being the one. How long am I supposed to wait?"

" You never know. He could be right around the corner…"

"Well, then he's late. And I hate people who are late. And what if he's not right around the corner? What if he's miles away? And what if it's not a he, but ashe? Then, would have to do it anyways!"

I shake my head, and frown at Polly. " I want to have a baby. And time is running out. I hear a clock ticking every time I close my eyes. I need it to stop."

I hear a loud DING.

I open my eyes and I'm back in the exam room. I look at the timer, which just hit zero. I smile. I look at my legs high above me on the table. " How the fuck am I supposed to get down from here?"

I search for the button the doctor pushed earlier, and as soon as I found it, the table starts coming down again.

I walk down the hall with my legs pressed firmly together, moving only from the knees down.

I pass through Dr. Childs. " You don't have to walk loke that " he says.

" Oh. Right." I say, separating my legs an inch, and then closing again. " Should we hug? We might have just made a baby together…" I say, smiling at him. But he just give me his hand, and I shake it.

I continue walking down the hall, and when a enter the recepton, I see a pregnant women. I touch my stomach, and smile, finally feeling like I'm part of the exclusive baby club.

It's pouring outside. The kind of rain that turns umbrellas inside out. New Yorkers run for cover with newspapers over their heads. Despite the rain, I skip out of the building with my hands in the air and twirl around. I look uptown for a cab. Nope. Nothing. I start to walk, still keeping my legs firmly pressed together. I round the corner towards the subway station and then, miraculously, see a cab.

"Taxi!" I scream, running little steps across the street. I enter the cab, and close the door. "Hallelujah!"

As soon as the word comes out of my mouth, I notice someone entering the cab from the other side. It's a raven haired woman, probably a year older than me, she wore black glasses, a white tank top, leather jacket and jeans.

"Uh… Excuse me, this is my cab."

"You own it?" she asks.

"No, but I'm about to rent it."

"Actually, if you are being technical, you kind of stole it."

"I don't think so."

"If you see someone about to get in a cab, you can't just run in from the other side and say it's yours."

"I didn't see you."

"I saw you see me." She said, giving me a smug smile. "Maybe you're not from around here, but there's a code. It's like war, even though it's brutal and bloody, there are still certain rules we–"

"Fine! Forget it. I'll get out." I grab the door handle and then turn back. "But not because you're right, but because I am in a terrific mood, and you are ruining it."

"No, I'll get out." She says, and we both get out of the cab.