Warning! Bus load of triggers, from abuse to depression for if that is likely to trigger you read with caution.

Kurt woke to the smell of hospital sheets and a warm hand gripping onto his. He groaned and sat up.

"Kurt! Thank God your alive! Blaine and I were so worried..."

"Why on earth would he care?" Kurt snapped. "I wish I died." He muttered.

"What! Kurt of course he cares he's your boyfriend!" Rachel gasped, clearly appalled.

"He's yours. He doesn't want me. No one wants me when your around. Finn, Glee club, Sam, New York...Blaine." Kurt choked out his name as if he hurt him to utter the word. Rachel touched his shoulder but he flinched away.

"Finn is now your brother, Glee was only a silly high school club, Sam was a pity thing for Prom, you live in New York don't you? And Blaine Anderson is in love with you. He always has been and always will be." Kurt then laughed.

"He kissed you first!"

"Kurt..."

"He kissed you, he went out on a date with you, he ignored me for a week because of you." Kurt let one tiny tear escape. "He'll always go to you, they all do."

"He's in hospital." Kurt froze and a cry lept to his throat. "His Dad figured it out and beat the living crap out of him. He's awake, but his Dad isn't letting him go home. He's moving in with us and doing an online high school diploma. He needs you Kurt, don't let him down."

"I can't Rachel." Kurt was sobbing now, "Don't you get it? I just want to die, let you have him, let him go home I don't care I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE!"

"And thats why I need to speak with you Mr Hummel." A Doctor walked in. Kurt pushed himself as far as he could into the pillows of his bed. "Calm down Kurt, I only want to help."

"And why would you want to help a fag like me?" Kurt spat. Rachel gasped and tears filled her eyes at Kurt's use of that word towards himself. "Stop faking." He snapped at her. "I know you don't care."

"Kurt..."

"Kurt I'm fearful that you have Atypical depression." The Doctor sighed sitting down on the chair next to the boys bed. "You see this form of depression tends to occur if lets say there has been a history of social rejection in the persons life. Kurt I need you to answer a few questions ok? Can you do that?"

"I'm not an idiot." Kurt growled. Rachel looked at the Doctor and mouthed 'Sorry' but he shook his head.

"I know Kurt, you are a very bright young man but you tried to kill yourself and I just want to know why ok? Will you answer the questions for me?" He asked with warm and understanding in his voice, not disgust or pity. Kurt sighed and nodded. "Thank you. Okay, Kurt, have you ever been bullied?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"Quite a lot."

"When did it start?" The Doctor asked, concern lacing his voice. Kurt shrugged,

"Elementary school, maybe pre-school. I was different. I didn't like playing with the boys and the girls let me play with them but the boys picked on me for it."

"Thank you for telling me." The Doctor smiled then wrote a note on his sheet. "Have you ever tried to change yourself to be accepted? Like a need for acceptance?" Kurt nodded with tears in his eyes. "Do you want to tell me?"

"My Dad." He croaked. "I wanted to be the perfect son for him, I didn't want my step brother to replace me. I just wanted to be who he needed."

"Take your time." He smiled at the boy you indicated after a minute for him to go on. "Alright. Have you ever been rejected romantically?" Kurt scoffed,

"How long have you got?"

"As long as you need Kurt." Kurt then crumpled into sobs.

"I was in love with my step brother before he was my step brother. He would hold my coat and bag when I was thrown into dumpsters and in my mind he was a hero for caring the tiniest bit." Rachel looked away, remembering her words to Kurt.

"You like him!" She gasped. "Thats it you like him so you used that against me to get to him!"

"I was just helping him see that you are not a viable second choice." Kurt retorted to the girl.

"Oh you think I'm a second choice." Rachel scoffed as Kurt turned around.

"A distant second." Kurt spat, looking the girl up and down."

"Well if i was second or if i were fiftieth i would still be ahead of you because I'm a girl!"

"I then had it shown to me by my dear friend how stupid I was being." His voice cracked at stupid and Rachel had to cover her mouth with her hand to stop her sobs. "I got our parents together to spend more time with him, great idea huh?" He laughed humorlessly, not noticing the Doctors pained look. "I decorated our room, but everything was too...too 'faggy'. What else do you expect from the stupid little fag who has a faggy crush on you right?"

"Kurt don't." Rachel begged but Kurt silenced her with a glare.

"My Dad kicked him out for it. My Dad is always there for me...well, almost always." Kurt looked down sadly, Rachel placed her hand on his shoulder but he flinched away with a growl. "TAKE YOUR FUCKING HAND OFF ME!"

"Kurt!" Rachel gasped.

"Don't! IT WAS YOUR FAULT! You had that stupid party that Blaine got drunk at! I was being a good friend and let him stay over but he was too wasted to remember anything and all Dad saw was him in my bed - fully clothed might i add- and I had obviously taken advantage of him because thats what Kurt does when he likes a guy, isn't it?" Kurt screamed as tears flew down his cheeks. "Sam, he was going to sing with me for duets until your stupid boyfriend..."

"He's your brother." She whispered.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Kurt bellowed. "Finn then, happy? He made Sam not want to sing with me so I had to preform on Duets week by myself! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING HUMILIATING THAT WAS?" Kurt broke down into sobs again. "Then Blaine." He whispered. "I love him so freaking much! But at that Christmas he was singing with a girl, then at Valentines he fell in love with the Junior Manager at GAP then he kissed you and dated you and then there was stupid little Kurt! Waiting, hoping that one day maybe he would be good enough. Good enough for a constellation prize. Bet he was glad when he thought I died, free from the annoying boyfriend he had to put up with."

"How can you even think that?" A voice asked, choked with tears, from he door. Kurt looked up and hazel connected with blue as Kurt broke down again.

There he was, Blaine Anderson. A swollen black eye and a cut lip marred his perfect face. He had a splint up his middle finger and his right leg was in a cast. The rest of his body was littered with cuts a bruises. At his feet were two large suitcases, Rachel's tale proving to be correct. Kurt couldn't look at him as the three in the room noticed.

"Rachel, Blaine, could you two possibly wait outside a moment?" The Doctor asked.

"Of course." Rachel smiled leading a confused Blaine out.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered. The Doctor rested a hand on his leg.

"This will be hard Kurt, I do understand." Kurt scoffed, "No I do. When I was your age I developed this too. I'm gay and my family kicked me out, your lucky for your father. Blaine does love you Kurt, okay? And I'm going to try all i can to make you see that again. You've been feeling like this on and off for a while haven't you? Years even?" Kurt nodded. "Would you be ok with just a few more questions?"

"Yeah, yeah that would be fine."

"Have you been sleeping a lot less or a lot more recently?" Kurt nodded, "Which one Kurt?"

"Both, depends on the night or whats happened in the day I guess." He shrugged.

"Good, good. Now, this is the most important question and I don't usually ask this but your in a state right now. Ready?" Kurt nodded, "Do you need a hug?" Kurt laughed with a smiled then began to cry again and nodded furiously. "C'mere." The Doctor got up and hugged the sobbing boy, "Mood swings are common too, but in my experience a hug does wonders." Kurt laughed again. The Doctor then held his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "I'm going to send Blaine in now, on his own. You need him Kurt Ok? I will catch him up but you two need to talk alright." Kurt nodded. "You're a good kid, Kurt."

"He wouldn't even look at me!" Blaine cried as Rachel closed the door.

"Blaine..."

"I knew I should have tried to give him more warning or get off skype faster or told my Dad the truth , I don't care if he killed me but then Kurt would be fine! He'd be ok!" Blaine sobbed, falling into a chair near the door. Rachel took his had a shook her head.

"No honey he wouldn't." Blaine raised an eyebrow. "He has a form of depression that just needed a trigger to set him off. It was like a time bomb, honey, it isn't your fault. It's mine if anyones."

"Rach how on earth..."

"I took his solos, I took Finn I took you for a while. I'm the big bad wolf right now. The bullying was the main cause though." They both hung their heads, getting comfort from the other one being there until he soft sound of a closed door alerted them to the Doctor.

"Hello you two. Blaine, only Blaine, go in. Rachel filled you in?" Blaine nodded. "I need you to know that none at all of what is happening to Kurt at all either of your faults." Both looked down. "It isn't, alright? The best thing you can do is be there for him ok? Blaine go on in."

"Hey." Kurt looked up into the red tinged eyes of his boyfriend.

"Hey yourself." Kurt smiled faintly.

"I love you." Blaine sobbed, now crying again. "I don't love Rachel like I love you. She's like my annoying little sister. You are who I want to be with Kurt, I just panicked because of my Dad but I love you! I'm so fucking sorry Kurt! I love you!" Blaine was choking over his tears as he hobbled over to sit by Kurt's bed, who was now sobbing too.

"Don't. Just stop it. Just because I'm in hospital doesn't m-mean you have to a-act like you are in l-love with me, I'm used to the rejection Blaine honest I am! It's ok." Blaine shook his head violently then grabbed Kurt's and smashed their lips together for a heated kiss. Kurt gasped at the love that Blaine was trying to send him then he pulled back and kissed Kurt's cheek.

"I love you, what more do I have to do to make your believe that?"

"A hug tends to help." Kurt whispered meekly and his boyfriend's arm encased him in a warm and loving embrace that made Kurt's heart shatter a little bit more at the thought of ever doubting Blaine.

"I love you Kurt, I really hope you'll learn to believe me." Blaine breathed before kissing the boys head and bringing him closer.

Review please, now i'm off to write a happy Christmas story after all that angst

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ed to do something intelligent before my brain turns to mush, therefore updates! PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!