During the time of Sam's recovery, Castiel made sure to visit at any time he could, entering the room with a small stack of books or Sam's favourite chocolate bar. On a bad day he would bring the teen homework with a grimace, but things like this had to be done.

Every day Castiel would go, no matter what the time, Dean would be sitting in a chair, sleeping awkwardly, listening to music, and – on the occasions – writing in a little notebook. At first the older had tried to strike up conversation, some fidgety, stutter of apology or reassurance that Castiel really didn't want to hear. After the third time the elder had been brushed off, he gave up, choosing to poke fun at Castiel and Sam or just remain silent until he left.

Looking at his feelings rationally, Castiel knew that he could not start acting differently, he could not simply walk into the hospital the next day and declare his undying love to an unsuspecting and injured Sam Winchester. Even Castiel, socially awkward as he was, knew the hell that could be brought about with such claims.

So, ever diplomatic, Castiel didn't say anything. He kept visiting Sam with nothing more than a new appreciation for nearly everything the boy did, learning to ignore Dean's presence in the room, and barely acknowledging him when the older resorted to teasing.

"Hey, Cas?" Sam asked, ever inquiring as he poured over the religion homework his teacher had assigned. "Did you understand this part? The interpretation, we're supposed to pick out the different symbols and the whole 'greater meaning thing' just doesn't seem to be working for me."

It was beyond Castiel why Sam, with the intelligence of top marks and an ever open and inquiring mind chose to talk like the rest of their peers when he was clearly capable of so much more. Needless Castiel leaned in a little closer, silently pleased with the development, and stood there; reading the bible excerpt but paying more attention to the Winchester he was now touching shoulders with.

"Greed." He eventually breathed out. "Here," he gestured at the sheet, still not moving away as he tried to spend more time with his crush. "the-"

Harsh scraping against the floor followed by the unmistakable clatter of the comfortless hospital chair clashing with the ground alerted both Castiel and Sam to the sight of a nearly seething Dean. "Dea-" Sam tried, earning a glare and his older brother stomping to the door.

The younger Winchester looked after his brother; bolting up and looking about ready to pull the IV out of his hand until Castiel placed a placating hand over it. "I will go." Sam stared up at him in awe and Casiel had to consciously lean away so that he wouldn't do anything irrational.

The dark haired boy pressed his lips into a thin line, stepping back with a finalizing nod before hurrying out of the room to chase after a fuming Dean. It was only now, Castiel realized as he was hurrying through the hallways and trying to locate the raging Winchester, that while he had seen Dean miffed before, the older male had always taken it upon himself to hide in his room, dealing with whatever was seriously pissing him up safely in his sanctuary after giving Sam and Castiel his reassuring 'my life is all shits and giggles' smile to keep them away. They always knew the smile was fake, but always chalked it up to Dean just not wanting them to know about it. This time, though, they wouldn't be allowing him that luxury.

When Castiel found him Dean was leaning against an unpainted wall of the hospital, just out one of the side doors and looking like he was in need of either a smoke or some alcohol, the strange thing – Castiel seemed to notice – was that he didn't seem generally angry as he had in Sam's room, just disappointed and frustrated.

"Dean?" Castiel asked uncertainly, questioning on whether the man in front of him, so broken and weak, could actually be the pushy, annoying big brother that had always stormed through his time with Sam.

Shocked, Dean looked over to him, pushing away from the wall and stepping back, as if to take off again. Castiel held up his hands in surrender and didn't continue forward. He felt strange, almost as if he was trying to placate a small animal. "Just listen to me?"

Dean nodded, not moving any closer but standing with his feet together, not exactly relaxed but calm enough that he wouldn't be taking off without a little more notice.

Castiel didn't know what to say. Never before had he been in a position to comfort someone, not to mention someone older or someone who had wasn't even sure of. Nonetheless he turned, leaning against the wall before deciding to slide down it; he couldn't stop Dean from fleeing if he wanted to, couldn't catch up with his long legs, and was too unused to this to try and coerce Dean into taking the initiative, as he would have liked.

"It's hard, I know." Castiel started, not looking at Dean but at the fake garden that stretched out before them. "Seeing your brother hurt, being left out, having to take care of something that you shouldn't have to at your age. Dean, you have been made to grow up before your time, you are entitled to little outbursts and to show signs of confusion or other human traits." These other 'human traits' were meant, as things that Dean felt were too unmanly to ever admit to, so Castiel didn't say them aloud.

The older man snorted. "Sure, that's what has be like this." Dean had confused Castiel with this simple sentence; drawing blue eyes towards the man he noticed that Dean had taken to sitting not far away from him.

"What do you mean?"

Green eyes turned to Castiel disbelieving. "I thought you were supposed to be observant, Cas." He chuckled though Castiel couldn't sense any humour behind it, but that might also be because he couldn't stop thinking that this was the first time that Dean had called him by that name and that it sounded a little funny coming from him. When the teen merely continued to look in Dean's direction the older sighed. "I'm not angry at Sammy or dad, or anything."

"Then why?" Castiel furrowed his brow and Dean sighed.

"Big kid things?"

Castiel resisted the urge to snort. "Big kid things stopped being those two years ago." To Castiel, two years seemed almost like an eternity ago.

"Figured." Dean grumbled but didn't say anything else.

They sat there in silence, Castiel looking at Dean, trying to piece together what exactly he was thinking and what was making him think it, a futile effort for Castiel but he wasn't going to press the issue.

Dean eventually sighed, standing and turning to where Castiel still sat against the building. "Come on, get up, Sam's probably out of bed and starting up a search party by now." He smiled, offering his hand with something that looked almost like reluctance.

Castiel accepted the appendage gratefully and allowed Dean to pull him upright, agreeing that Sam was probably worried now that both his brother and his friend hadn't returned to his room. Dean made to pull away but Castiel held his hand firmly. "Dean." He kept his blue eyes trained on the ground. "You know that, while we have our differences, you can talk to me right?"

Dean didn't respond.

"I mean, I'm at your house often enough, I know you almost as well as I know S…" he had almost said Sam. "myself, though your thoughts are a complete mystery to me and if you ever wanted to-" Castiel didn't get to finish, Dean had torn his hand out of Castiel's and placed it over his mouth instead, pushing the smaller male into the wall they had been leaning against and breathing heavily, a little too close for Castiel's comfort.

"Don't-" Dean's voice was choked, as if he was being suffocated by what Castiel was saying. The younger nodded his head, was this why Dean always hid in his room? Castiel couldn't help but wonder, but rationalize that this wasn't the case for Dean seemed to be just as coherent as ever. Well, before Castiel continued to speak.

Dean's eyes widened and Castiel almost felt worried for him. Dean stepped back, stuttering and stunned, giving Castiel plenty of space to run.

He didn't.

"Dean?"

The elder continued to stutter, backed away some more and made sure to look anywhere other than the boy before him. "I…uh…tell Sammy…"

Castiel took a tentative step forward when Dean didn't continue, extending his hand in a worried impulse. Almost as if sensing the touch coming Dean leaped back, eyes blazing as they turned towards Castiel once more. And then he was gone. Off, running away to where Castiel could only guess.

He stood there a moment more, retracting his hand eventually and turning back towards the door he had exited earlier. Maybe there really were Big Kid things left that he just wasn't old enough to know yet. After all, at the ripe age of 14 they were still teaching him limited things in school.

Castiel retreated into the building, Dean obviously wasn't coming back and Sam would be worried. The dark haired boy scrunched his face up in concentration, was Dean still angry? He certainly had seemed to calm down enough, and what should he tell Sam? That the job was completed? That he thought Dean was fine? Really, if Dean had finished his sentence it would certainly make Castiel's life much easier.

Regardless of this he made his way back to Sam's room where three nurses, trying to lower his heart rate and stop him from disconnecting the IV, were calming him.

"Then you should be out there searching for Dean and Cas!"

Castiel felt a swarm of gratitude when he realized that he was being included in Sam's panic attack, and while it was entirely horrible, he couldn't help but feel more than a little glad.

"Dean and I are fine." He concluded, butting into the room and striding right through the barricade of nurses. Castiel felt another surge of happiness as he watched Sam relax almost immediately, falling back against the pillows even though Dean was nowhere in sight. "Dean needed some proper rest and will be back when he settles."

Castiel felt a squirm of remorse as the lie fell from his lips, he didn't know if Dean would be back rested, didn't know if Dean actually was fine, didn't even know where Dean had determined the most suitable place to vent. He could still feel the elder's hand over his mouth, being pinned to the cool brick, and the frightening contrast between them.

With weary glances the nurses left, reminding him of the call button by the bed and that they were around if Sam needed something. And the two teens were allowed their own time together, something that hadn't happened for nearly a week now.

Castiel coughed nervously. "Has your father come to visit you yet?"

Castiel, for all his talents, has never been versed in the art of communication, so it came as no surprise when his newest attempt turned sour and had Sam looking forlornly into his lap.

"He left just before the weekend, Dean's been calling him but we haven't heard anything back." Castiel nodded his head solemnly in recognition.

"I am sorry."

Sam scoffed a little at this. "Don't mention it." He had learned long ago not to try and deter such thoughts when they arose in Castiel's mind. Sam had a feeling that it was because Castiel didn't fully grasp the concept, but the other teen had always denied this and quickly made an exit whenever the subject was brought up.

Castiel stayed there until visiting hours ended, both of the boys worried about a lack of Dean, but Castiel assured Sam that his older brother would be there tomorrow. If there was one thing Castiel knew about Dean, it was that Sam was the most important thing in his life, not that Castiel could relate.

Walking back home Castiel realized that the entire time he was alone with Sam he wasn't fully paying attention. Were anyone to ask him what they had spent the evening doing he would be unable to say much more than they had been talking. Castiel bit his bottom lip, the same thoughts swimming to the forefront of his mind for what had to be the millionth time this evening.

Maybe there are Big Kid things that he was still too young to know.

Maybe they would make sense if Dean were to explain them to him.

Maybe Dean wasn't just the annoying older brother, no matter how enigmatic.