Chapter 11 . . .

Billy was more anxious then he'd ever

recalled being in his life, as he sat silently

next to Mac. They were now in a cab and nearly to

their final destination . . . the ranch home Mac

grew up in. It had been two weeks in the making

and now Billy and Mac were in St. Louis, beginning

the first leg of their trip. He stole a glance of

her as his thoughts trailed back over all she had

told him in that time and on the plane about her

life there and her mother, in particular. The

ranch had been left to her mom by her grandmother

when she died and when she found out she was

pregnant with Mac, she immediately set out to make

it a home for them. She told of some of her

memories, including taking care of the few animals

they kept there, a pig, a couple of chickens, and

two horses, one her mom's and the other Mac's.

It was obvious to Billy, that Mac really

missed home when she wasn't there by how she

talked about it. Unlike him, who hardly went home

unless it was for a special occasion or

something. His mom still unwilling to butt out of

his affairs even as he turned into a man. Though,

he was apprehensive about meeting Mac's mother, he

was also curious to see the kind of relationship

they shared in person. It was an odd concept to

Billy, because of his own experiences, that a

mother and child could be this close. He wanted to

chalk it up to her being a girl and that kind of

bond, but he would soon find out that a warm

motherly heart could love anyone, if they really

wanted to.

The rustic home soon came into view

and Billy's nerves again took over. He wasn't only

nervous about meeting her mother but the impact

she could have on them. If she didn't like him, in

spite of what Mac felt, or if things didn't go

well, would she cause Mac to rethink their

relationship? Though they hadn't been together

long, Billy had come to care so much for Mac it

was a bit frightening. He wasn't sure how or if he

could handle losing her. The ride in had been

pretty quiet on both sides, Billy worrying about

how things would go and Mac reflecting on how much

she wanted this. Billy had become such a big part

of her life in such a short time and, though, she

knew her mother would love him, she wondered how

he would react to her mom. She was a unique

person in her own right, which she tried to convey

to Billy.

Amanda was a true believer in the

sixties movement and lived her life accordingly.

She dressed the part and followed those simple

beliefs of peace, love and happiness implicitly.

When she was younger, Mac wasn't embarrassed by it

, though, after all it was all she knew but as she

got older she realized how much she gained because

of that attitude. Mac was able to see the

inherent good in people and was always willing to

help out anyone with great compassion and drive.

Her hope, for now, was that Billy too would

embrace her differences and they would get to know

each other that much better.

They finally made the turn into the long

driveway and when the cab eventually came to a

stop in front of the quaint single level cottage,

both sat in the car for a moment longer just

taking in the place. While Mac joyfully

anticipated seeing her home again, Billy took in

as much as he could. The house was a nice size

brick one with a large front porch that housed a

swing and lots of potted flowers. It was truly a

country portrait in the making. Mac finally turned

to her beau and noticed that apprehension rising

in him once more and called him on it. With light

glow and a gentle caress of his cheek, she

garnered his attention, and softly inquired,

"Nervous?"

He tried, with little success to return

her beam, as he honestly replied, "A little."

"Don't be. She's going to love you, trust me," she

came back sweetly. Billy took in a deep breath and

let it out before giving her a more convincing

smile and replying, "I do." The two then leaned in

and shared a light peck before paying the cabbie

and unloading from the car. Once they had, they

both stood outside surveying the house some more,

while sharing in a little light hearted banter

before heading in. Little did they know, Amanda

had been spying them from the moment they hit the

drive. She wanted to see them together before she

joined the fray.

As she watched the pair interact with

other, from the gentle stares, to the glowing

smiles and subtle touches, it didn't take her long

to realized these two were made for each other.

They were just totally in tune. She finally

decided to make her presence known, as the couple

began its trek up to the house. She stepped out of

the screen door and immediately garnered both

young people's attention. Mac beamed happily while

Billy studied the slightly older but no less

comely version of Mackenzie. Mac had been right

about her sixties style as she sported brown

corduroy bell bottoms and a maroon tunic top,

along with thonged sandals. Her semi unruly

curly brown mane and Native American beads around

her neck completed the earthy look and actually

made Billy a little more at ease. She appeared to

be quite down to earth and not intimidating at

all, as she displayed a similar grin to Mac.

The two woman finally came together in a

tight embrace, while Billy watched on in contented

silence. He was so happy to see Mac glowing like

this as she and her mother shared greetings. "Hey

sweetheart, it's so good to have you home. How was

your trip in?" Amanda began. Mac slowly started to

retreat from her mother's hold and replied while

glancing back at Billy, briefly, "It was awesome."

This caused her mom to beam brighter as her focus

turned to the handsome blonde haired, blue eyed,

young man stand right behind her daughter. "And I

take it this young man might have something to do

with that," was her frank response. Mac blushed

lightly as she returned to Billy, taking him by

the hand and drawing him up to where they ladies

stood.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Billy

Abbott," Mac announced proudly. Billy instantly

took his cue and held out his hand as he retorted,

"It's nice to finally meet you, ma'am." Amanda

crinkled her nose, sort of like Mac did when she

didn't like something and then retorted, "Ma'am?

What am I sixty? Please call me Amanda." She then

looked down his out stretched hand before moving

around it and instead pulling him into a soft and

inviting hug. Billy was a bit stunned at her

forwardness, at first, but recalled some of the

things Mac said about her personality and he

finally just went along with it, actually finding

the hold quite comfortable.

Mac watched on with great joy, knowing her

mother was only this way with people she truly

liked. Meanwhile, Amanda made a quick observation

before relinquishing the young fella. In a soft

voice, she sweetly commented, "So you're the young

man who stole my girl's heart . . . I can see

why." This time Mac blushed brighter as Billy and

Amanda finally broke apart. "Mom . . . " Mac said,

not wanting to make Billy more uncomfortable then

she already figure he was with that hug and all.

Billy, though, just smile, first at Amanda and

then at Mac. Amanda knew her daughter had it bad

for this one and it was definitely a mutual thing.

She just hoped time would show them just how meant

to be they were because she knew it right off the

bat. She never replied to her child's call,

instead giving Mac and Billy a wink before turning

and heading back towards the house.

"Come on, let's get you two settled,"

were her last words before she went back into the

house. Billy and Mac shared another small grin and

a small sigh, knowing they had past test one . . .

Amanda was definitely a believer. The two then

followed after her, ready to enjoy their time here

before their next stop . . .

Chapter 12 . . .

Once both were setup in their

respective rooms, Billy and Mac, briefly, joined

her mother, who was already starting dinner before

Mac proceeded to give Billy the grand tour. She

took him all over the three acre grounds,

introducing him to the animals and showing him a

lot of places she used to frequent as a child.

Billy happily absorbed it all as Mac vibrantly

told of some capers on the ranch, including

trying to dress the pig up as a baby doll and

ending up in a mud puddle instead. They both

shared a hearty laugh over that and other fond

childhood memories for a good while.

Billy loved seeing her so giddy and

alive. Her smile was the most beautiful thing he'd

seen and it was all she had done since they got

there. The whole atmosphere was very conducive to

that carefree feeling. Both were really relaxed

now, as they strolled hand and hand, towards what

would be the last leg of their journey. Mac made a

big production about saving the barn for last,

which made Billy curious as to what she was up to.

They finally walked into the hay filled structure

and over to the two occupied stales. There housed

within them were two horses, one was all white and

the other was black with white patches.

Mac went to the one containing the

black and white animal and immediately began

calling to it. "Star! Star, come here, girl." The

horses ears, instantly, perked up and then quickly

she sauntered over to the her mistress and began

nuzzling her. Billy, who had quietly witnessed the

warm exchange, beamed lightly as Mac now began

talking to the animal while tenderly petting her,

"Hello, precious. I missed you so much. Did you

miss me?" Star grunted and kind of nodded her

head, causing Mac to laugh and Billy's heart to

soar. Her laughter was, by far, the most

intoxicating sound he had ever heard. Mac soon

turned her focus back to him and noticed his low

beam. Playfully, she inquired, "What? . . . You

don't have pets you chat with every now and then?"

It was Billy's turn to chuckle lightly as

he came back, "Honestly, no but I if I did, I'm

sure he'd rather talk to you then me any day . . .

Star seems to adore you." "Yeah, well the feeling

is mutual. I've had her since I was sixteen. While

everyone else wanted a car I still wanted my pony,

so my mom went out and found me one," Mac returned

with a more thoughtful grin. Billy nodded while

checking out the large animal closer, "So why did

you name her Star?" Without a word, Mac motioned

for the horse to turn, helping her along, and

pointed to a white star shaped patch on her hind

quarter. She then looked back up into his

brilliant eyes and finished, "It just seemed to

fit just like she did when I got her." "I see . .

. sort of like love at first sight, huh?" Billy

retorted.

That comment brought about a brief

silence between the pair, both thinking along the

same lines. While maintaining a steady gaze, the

idea of love at first sight ran through their

thoughts freely. Neither had ever been a stark

believer in that concept, believing for a long

time, that you had to actually know someone before

you could fall in love with them. Yet, after,

having met they way they did and the feeling that

were almost instant between them as a result, they

now had to believe there was something to it. The

duo, though, was not ready to utter those three

words, fearful that they would only scare the

other off at this point. Instead they chose to

just let things go as they had and live in the

moment . . . wherever it might take them.

With that thought, firmly, in mind, Mac

moved to breech the silence and get them moving

back towards the less heavy atmosphere they had

been enjoying. She continued to pat down her horse

as she finally asked, "So . . . do you ride?"

Billy shook his head and smiled lightly, "Not even

a little bit." The idea of hopping on and steering

a large animal like that was about as appealing to

him as parasailing was to Mac. She, however, had

her own idea and quickly sprang it on him, "That's

OK, you can just ride with me." Billy was all set

to protest when she, seeing his hesitance, first,

reasoned with and then used his own words from

their trip in Miami, against him, "I have one more

place I want to show you and we'll get there

faster this way . . . it'll be fun, trust me."

Billy, knowing he was licked after that,

simply replied with a question, "Where to?" She

gave him a devilishly, sweet smile as she began

opening the stale and quietly replied, "It will be

worth it. You'll see."

Chapter 12B . . .

After saddling up Star and getting

Billy more comfortable with her, Mac mounted her

horse and Billy followed after. She then had them

steadily heading out of the barn and across the

grounds, towards a trail near a heavily wooded

area behind the building. As they galloped down

the barely visible path, Mac felt Billy tighten

his hold on her waist. She glanced back, slightly,

and saw him looking quite serious, as though he

was concentrating on not falling off. She smiled

to herself as she got another idea to, hopefully,

make him a little less nervous. She released one

of the reigns and reached for one of his hands,

that was still snuggly wrapped around her middle.

At first, he fought, some, before finally letting

her take his hand and place it where hers had

just vacated. She then quickly did the same with

the other before he finally got out a few frazzled

words, "What are you doing?"

Mac softly returned over her shoulder,

"Nothing . . . you are now steering Star." Billy

now tightened his hold on the reigns and quietly

came back, "Mac, I can't . . . " She cut him off,

"You are . . . just relax and so will she." She

then heard him let out a deep breath and saw him

hands loosen some on the leather straps, causing

her to smile again. Mac let him solo for a while

before eventually covering his hands with her own

and helping lead the animal towards their eventual

destination. Billy, too, was glowing now, as he

looked over the petite beauty in front of him

shoulder. As her hair occasionally whipped back

towards him, he took in her flowery scent and the

sweetness that was her. No one had ever been so

compassionate and tender to him like this. It was

like she just always knew what he needed and when.

It touched him deeply.

She was also lost in thoughts of this

handsome blue eyed young man who had managed to

get her, to some extent, to shed her cautious

demeanor. Them being this close, sharing her horse

and helping him to steer, all things she would

have never had the nerve to do with any other guy,

she had only just met a short while ago. Billy,

though, was becoming an exception to almost every

rule she had ever had. Mac had given him a real

chance and was being rewarded more then she ever

thought possible.

A while after their trip started, it

ended near another pathway, this one leading

through the trees. Mac explained to Billy how to

dismount and once he had, he carefully helped her

down as well. She then tied Star to a near by tree

and proceeded to lead Billy towards the path. He,

though, held her up, momentarily and sweetly said,

"Thanks for the ride." She gave him a small smile

and a wink as she replied, "You ain't seen nothing

yet." She then took his hand, again, and began

leading him down the path. The walk took a few

more minutes but when they pair finally reached

the clearing at the end of it, it was obvious how

well worth it the trip had been.

Back behind the towering trees sat a

truly inviting scene. There was nothing else

around but a beautiful grassy embankment that

surrounded a placid sitting pond. It was occupied

by a few ducks but other then that it was a

deserted piece of heaven. The sun glistened

gorgeously, off the unusually clear water and made

the area look like a beautiful art picture. Both

had been so caught up in the beauty of the place,

neither had yet to speak. Finally though, Billy

found his voice, and laced with obvious approval

and awe, he commented, "Mac, this is so awesome."

She lightly nodded, "Yeah . . . it is." She then

took a few steps away from her beau and towards

the ponds edge, peering out over it, like she had

never seen it before. Billy soon joined her,

moving right up behind her before quietly asking,

"What are you thinking?"

"Just how much more beautiful this place

gets every time I come here . . . honestly, have

you ever seen anything more beautiful?" she

retorted, never taking her eyes off the view until

she heard his response. In a deep husky voice,

near her ear he answered, "Yeah . . . and she's

standing right here with me." Mac blushed a little

at his sweet compliment before finally, slightly

turning and looking up at him. The sun was

catching his eyes, making them sparkle even more

and causing her to have to catch her breath. He

appeared to be looking right through her and as of

she was all that mattered. Mac could never

recalled being looked at that way by a guy and it

overwhelmed her. She finally regained herself some

and slowly put some space between them. Again,

things were getting intense and she did want that

to happen unless she was sure it was going to last.

Mac eventually went all the way over to

the edge of the pond and lowered herself to the

ground before proceeding to take off her shoes and

dangling her feet over and into the water. Billy

watched her curiously, for a moment, before

finally going to join her once more. Without a

thought, he slid out of his own sandals and then

behind the lovely lady, placing his feet into the,

surprisingly, temperate water. Mac was shocked,

not just that he was doing what she was and

sitting so close she could feel his warm breath on

her bare shoulders but that it felt so perfect for

them to be there that way. She finally relaxed in

the moment and leaned back into his taut chest,

while he let his head rest against hers. They sat

like that for a long moment, just taking in the

picturesque scene in quiet.

Billy gently caressed Mac's arms while

she rested her hands on his legs and gazed out

into the water. Eventually, their serenity was

broken by Billy asking, "So how do you know about

this place, since it's pretty obvious no else

does." She smiled lightly as she began to recall

how she came up her own private Mecca. "I was just

actually out exploring when I got old enough for

my mom to let me go off on my own. I was about

eight and had gone pretty far and I came across

the pathway. Of course, curiosity got the best of

me and I investigated. I have been coming here

every since. Whenever I wanted to get away or just

think."

Billy softly replied, "Cool, your own

private little hideaway." She looked up at him

again and smiled brightly, "Yep and I have never

brought another soul back here, not even my

mother." That revelation caused Billy's eyes to

widened, showing his surprise. He then matter of

factly inquired, "So why me?" This time Mac sat up

a little as she turned and faced him a bit more,

"Because, whenever I came out here to put my feet

in the pond and think, I would always think about

what I wanted out of my life. I wanted to be

something important and someone to make a

difference. Then I wanted to make my mother proud

of me and there was always one more thing. I

always wanted to share all of those things with

someone special . . . " She paused briefly and

studied his handsome face thoroughly. She hadn't

wanted to push things too far too fast but this

moment just seemed too perfect pass up.

So after seeing how receptive he was

being to what she was saying, Mac took in a breath

of her own before concluding her thoughts, "And I

think . . . no I know you are that one, Billy.

Anything, good or bad, that happens to me, from

now on, I want you to be a part of it and I hope

to God that doesn't scare you off because, I don't

know that I could handle losing you now." Billy

remained quiet, briefly, after her admission. So

many thoughts were now swirling through his mind.

However, because his face was betraying nothing at

the moment, Mac thought she may have done exactly

what she didn't want to do. She had never been so

forward before so why did she have to start now.

It wouldn't surprise her one bit if he was gone

tomorrow. But as all those self doubts were

displayed clearly on her face, Billy's thoughts

were becoming a bit more defined.

He searched her deep brown orbs for any

hint of anything but sincerity but found none.

Mac, in the meantime was becoming more antsy and

finally decided the break the quiet herself,

shying away from his gaze some as she spoke,

"Look, Billy, I didn't mean to . . . what I mean

is, I'm sorry for . . ." She, though, was not

given the opportunity to finish her remarks, as

Billy's soft lips came tenderly , crashing down on

her supple ones. Once again, their connection was

one that consumed and pleased both of them. Billy

worked his hands up to cup her face and hold her

there until he was ready to let go, while Mac

weakly gave in to whatever he wanted, her hands

barely hanging on to his forearms for support.

When finally, he relinquished her

mouth, and they stared breathlessly into each

other's eyes, Billy, softly, still holding her

face and gently caressing it with his thumbs,

softly replied to her earlier comments, "Don't

ever apologize to me about how you feel, OK?" She

just nodded which afforded him to added one more

thing. His dazzling smile blazing once more, he

finished, "I think you are truly special, too, Mac

. . . never doubt that." "OK," was her faint

response the two shared another profound exchange.

Once they came up for air this time, Mac found her

eyes wondering from her beau to the sun that was

slowly starting to set and was able to break their

touching interlude, somewhat. Remaining in his

strong hold, she finally announced, "Um . . . I

think we better get back. My mom has few rules but

one is that everyone eat dinner together at a

decent hour." Billy grinned again, "Then we better

not keep her waiting, though, I wonder if she knew

what we were doing if she would cut us some

slack." He waggled his eyebrows, causing Mac to

laugh and gently push him as she began to stand,

"Cut it out, Mister! She's liberal but not that

liberal. Now let's get going."

He quickly stood up to join her and

pulled her close one last time before allowing her

to put her shoes back on. They locked in one more

deep gaze before he charmingly said, "Thanks for

sharing this with me. I only hope I can do the

same for you one day." She smiled brightly, one

last time, before concluding, "You already are . .

. by just being here with me." He gave her

another small peck before releasing her. The two

then quickly got themselves together and head back

for the house.

Chapter 13 . . .

Upon arriving back at the

house, the pair was bombarded by a loud and lively

scene. They entered and, once they got deeper,

witnessed Amanda in her own little world. She was

dancing all around the kitchen to sixties

Motown while finishing up dinner. The current tune

had her moving and lip syncing like a pro. The

picture didn't phase Mac in the least but Billy

was, again, at a bit of a loss. Amanda just truly

appeared so carefree . . . no inhibitions in the

least. He could never imagine his mother letting

lose like this.

Mac and Billy continued to stand in

the doorway, watching the display. While Amanda,

who had been aware she had an audience, bounced on

until the next song came on and she finally

acknowledged the duo. She turned and gave her

daughter a knowing grin. Mac reciprocated almost

immediately as her mother cheerfully questioned, "

Remember this one?" Mac started to inch her way

further into the room, bobbing her head to the

familiar Temptation's song, 'My Girl' began to

play. "Of course I do . . . " She then paused her

progress, momentarily, and turned back to a still,

slightly, stunned Billy and explained, "This was

the song my mom always played for me when I was

down about something . . . just to let me know I

was her girl and would always be the most

important thing to her."

Billy nodded and glowed at the

sentiment as he again reveled in the closeness of

mother and child. Mac had now joined Amanda in

their rendition of the sweet ballad. The pair

danced about together and lip synced, happily, to

each other. He could definitely feel himself

falling for her more and more. Her sweetness,

sincerity, and inner and outer beauty made for one

hell of a package in his eyes and the thought of

being without any part of it was becoming less of

an option with each passing moment with her.

As he maintained his small grin at

their display, he was soon brought out of his

thoughts and away from the doorway by mother and

daughter, who began pulling him into the mix. at

first, Billy was a bit hesitant but when they two

surrounded him and started rocking him

manually, he soon gave in and joined the party

type atmosphere. The three of them kept it up

through the rest of that song and part of another,

before Amanda announced dinner was now ready and

shooed them into the already set up dinning room.

She soon brought in the food, salad, veggie

lasagna, and garlic bread, and they all sat down

to dinner together.

Over dinner, the trio shared light

chat and banter but once they were finished, the

talk turned a bit more personal, first about how

Billy and Mac met and then to Billy's life. He

told about growing up with his father and his

rebellious side some but when Amanda inquired

about his mother, he surprisingly to himself, was

pretty forth coming explaining how little his

relationship with her mirrored her's and Mac's.

The sadness was evident when he spoke of the lack

of a tight bond with his mother which prompted

Amanda to add some word of wisdom for him.

"Billy, you know, sometimes parents do

the best they can with the situations they are

given. Now I don't know your mother but being one

myself, I know that no matter what happens, a

mother's love for her child is deep and

unchanging. When something has been a part of you

and then you bring it into this world . . .

there's nothing like that connection. She may not

show it all the time but, she adores you, of that

I have no question." Billy sighed lightly as he

responded, "It would be nice if she could show ,

at least sometimes." They left the conversation

at that, not wanting to bring down the jovial mood

they had been enjoying. Mac, though, then brought

up a topic that would prove to have severe

ramifications. Gladly changing the subject some,

she started in, "So, speaking of Billy's family,

I'm pretty excited about meeting your dad and

brother." Billy smiled, once again, "So am I. They

are going to love you."

"Of that, I am sure, " replied her

mother with her own gentle beam. "I hope so," Mac

finished. Amanda then took the conversation a step

further, asking, "I take it all your family lives

in the same town?" Billy nodded, " Just about, one

of my sisters stays in New York with her family

but everyone else resides in good old, GC, Genoa

City." Amanda had been sipping on her ice tea when

he said the city's name and nearly choked on the

beverage. Billy and Mac noticed and her child

inquired, "Mom, are you alright?" Amanda quickly

wiped at her mouth and attempted to recompose

herself as she retorted, "Yeah . . . my drink just

went down the wrong way. Um . . . Billy this Genoa

City, what state is that in?" "Wisconsin, do you

know it?" he returned. Mac studied her mom as they

both waited for her reply. She, though, never

responded, instead standing abruptly and quietly

stating, "I need to do something. Can you two

clear the table and I'll clean the dishes later?"

Mac could tell something was bothering

her mother and tried to urge her to share, "Mom,

what's the matter?" Again, Amanda put up a front,

pasting on a small smile and replying, "I'm fine,

Sweetheart, really. I just remembered something I

needed to do." Mac still wasn't convinced but

Amanda had already excused herself, leaving Billy

and a very concerned, Mac alone. As the couple

began to silently gather the dishes, Billy could

sense the worry in Mac rising and tried to be

soothing. He sat down the dishes he had already

stacked and took the plate she was holding from

her. Once he garnered her focus, he softly said,

"Hey, don't worry. I'm sure she's just nervous

about you meeting my family too." Mac nodded but

knew there was more, "Yeah . . . maybe."

Billy then leaned in a placed a soft

peck on her forehead before going back to his

dishes, "Come on, busting some suds is sure to

cure some of your ills." This time she couldn't

help but laugh lightly and shake her head, "Yeah,

whatever." The two then put aside their concerns

about Mac's mother, for the moment, and headed

back into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Amanda found herself alone

in her bedroom rummaging through her sock drawer.

When she found what she was looking for, she

plopped down on the edge of her bed and began

unfolding the bright yellow envelope that housed a

huge part of not only her past but Mackenzie's as

well. She slowly pulled the frail letter from it's

holder and started reading over it like she had so

many times before. She knew this day would come

but had hoped not so soon and not when everything

seemed to be going so right for her daughter.

Amanda, though, knew keeping it from her

any longer was not an option. She couldn't allow

her to be blindsided. "How can I make you

understand, my Sweetheart?" she sighed quietly to

herself.

Chapter 14 . . .

The next couple of days,

Amanda used to observe her daughter. The two of

them had always been so close and could feel and

understand each other better then most. Amanda

could tell her tense mood was affecting her and

knew she had to come clean with her child soon.

Yet she knew the thing she had been carrying since

Mac was conceived, had the capability to severely

damage the bond they have always shared. She

paused her lunch preparation, briefly, and gazed

out the kitchen window at the carefree and

spirited young woman she had raised. As Mac and

Billy hung out near the pen that housed the pig

and rounded up the chickens, she wondered how

different things might have turned out had she not

made the choices she had. She knew Mac would

probably have the same inquiries and though she

had answers, she wasn't sure if Mac would ever

understand them completely. She sighed heavily

before going back to what she was doing. She

prayed she would . . .

Mac, in the meantime, while still a

bit concerned about her mother's sudden

disconnected mood, managed to continue to enjoy

her time with Billy as much as possible. She let a

light thought overtake her, recalling the utter

surprise on his face when she told him they did

not own a TV. He was in complete disbelief until

Mac relayed to him what her mother had told her,

that the great outdoors was it's own

entertainment. It actually took a couple of days

to convince him but after waking up at the crack

of dawn each morning to witness the sunrise over

the country landscape, feeding the animals and

traipsing all over the ranch, Billy finally

relented. He found the leisurely, easygoing nature

of this kind of living somewhat addictive now.

Though, Genoa City was no New York, it could get

hectic and fast paced like it at times, causing

him to almost dread going back in a few days.

Things, though, as of right now couldn't seem more

perfect. Mac and Billy were growing even closer,

learning more and more about each other and they

would soon be heading out to meet his family and

hopefully having a similar experience there.

However, the day before the couple was

set to do just that, Mac was given a bit of news

that would forever change what she had always

believed. That afternoon, she and Billy had just

returned from taking another leisurely stroll

around the grounds and were eager to start packing

for the trip to GC in the morning. Amanda, though,

knew she couldn't let her get on that plane before

she knew what she did. When the serene couple came

into view, Amanda took in a deep breath and

stopped swinging on the porch swing. The two soon

approached the bottom of the stairs and she and

Mac locked in a knowing gaze. Billy noticed the

intensity and instantly got the feeling they

needed to be alone. He leaned in and placed a

small kiss on Mac's cheek before softly saying,

"I'm going to go grab a shower and finish up my

packing, alright?"

Mac turned to look into his blazing blue

peepers but didn't have a chance to respond as her

mother graciously stated, "Billy, you don't have

to go." He shook it off as he deposited Mac at her

mother's side and headed for the door, "It's OK, I

think you two need some time alone. I'll be back

shortly." Both woman gave him a warm smile, which

he returned before vanishing inside. This left the

two Browning women to themselves and Mac curious

as to what was really going on with her mother.

"Mom, are you ready to tell me what's got you so

worried? I can see it in your eyes, what's wrong?"

Mac inquired quietly. Amanda, again, gave a small

grin before lowering herself back to the swing and

slowly beginning, "Mackenzie, you know you are my

world . . . that all ever want is for your

happiness and security, right?" Mac furrowed her

brow a little as she watched her mother fidget, a

little, with her house coat pocket, "I know that

mom but that still doesn't explain . . . "

She cut off her daughter, "I'm getting

there, Love. It's just that I love you so much and

I would hate for anything to shake your love for

me." Mac was really becoming concerned with the

path this conversation was taking. Her mother had

always been pretty forward with her when she

needed to say something but this time it seemed to

be a chore. So Mac slowly lowered herself down in

front of her mother, resting her hands on her lap

before asking again, "Mom, I will love you no

matter what, you know that now just tell me . . .

what is this about?" Amanda closed her eyes,

briefly, feeling tears begin to sting them. She

knew this would be hard for both of them but it

had to be done. She had procrastinated all she

could. So with one quick motion, she reached into

her pocket and pulled out a slightly worn piece of

paper and handed to Mac.

Mac took but without opening it, asked,

"What's this?" "Read it and then I'll try to

explain," was Amanda's breathy reply. After a

moment of studying the paper, she finally did as

her mother asked and opened it. As she glanced

over it first, it appeared to be personal letter

to her mother but Mac soon began to read it in

depth and found herself confused at first and then

in disbelief. She took in the penmanship and then

the text as the words simply but powerfully rolled

off the paper :

Dearest Amanda,

I know you had your reasons

for going, which is why I didn't try to stop you.

We all have our own paths we must follow but I

want you to know how much I still care about and

think about you. What we shared was something I

will never forget and hope you don't either.

Please be happy and don't worry about resentment

coming from me, OK? I could never stay mad at you,

my Love. As for the other reason for this letter,

I just want you to know that if you ever need

anything . . . anything, you can always turn to my

mother, Katherine Chancellor in Genoa City, WI,

for help. Just show her this letter and she will

take care of whatever you need like I would if I

was there. I love you, Amanda and though, I know

it my not be in the cards for us to be together,

know that I will always be thinking of you and

what we shared.

With

Sincere Love,

Brock

Mac was temporarily stunned at the

sweet and gentle words written. The person who

wrote was definitely soft on her mother. It took

her a moment, though, to comprehend why her mother

might show her something this private but when she

looked into Amanda's now tear soaked eyes, she got

an inkling of why. She took a few breaths before

shakily asking her next question, "Who's Brock,

mom?" Amanda could see her girl had picked up on

where this was headed and saw no other way to say

other then just to say it, "Mac, honey, he's your

father."

Totally floored, Mac finally rose

and joined her mother on the swing this time

before speaking again. "My father?" Amanda just

nodded, waiting for Mac's true reaction, which

came almost immediately. She glanced back down at

the letter and then her mother, once more, "The

father I thought didn't give a damn about us? The

father I convinced myself was a jerk because he

didn't even stick around to see me born?" Again,

Amanda nodded but also added, "I'm so sorry,

sweetie, that you had to go through those feelings

but your father is a good man." "Then why wasn't

he here? This 'good man'?" Mac retorted, with her

voice betraying some more of her shock.

Amanda reached for her child's hand

and covered it with her own before delivering more

of the story, "Because, baby, he didn't know. Had

he, he would have been here every step of the

way." Mac now couldn't believe her ears. The one

person she always knew she could trust in and

believe had shaken her whole world. "What do you

mean he didn't know about me? You didn't tell

him?" "It was complicated back then. I don't know

if you'll ever understand, totally," her mother

returned through light sobs. Mac was now shaking

her head not wanting to believe what she was

hearing, "You're right I don't understand . . .

why wouldn't you tell him about me?" Amanda

squeezed her child's hand lightly, before

continuing, "It's like I said it was a tough

situation, Honey."

This time Mac removed her hand from her

mother's, which disheartened Amanda some. She then

watched as Mac stood and paced a little before

reading over the letter one more time and then

staring at her as she coolly spoke, "The person

who wrote this letter . . . the person who helped

create me was kept out of my life and all you're

going to say is it was complicated?" Amanda took

in another breath as she now stood as well, "No,

my darling, I will try to explain everything to

you but . . . " Mac interrupted, though, "No, you

know what? There's no explanation for this. How

could you keep something this important from me

for so long, huh?" Her mother reached for her but

Mac avoided the grasp. "Mac, please understand, I

did what I thought was best for everyone at the

time."

She heard her mother's words but all she

could understand and remember at this point were

all the nights she sat alone wondering what she

had done to push her father away. Her thoughts

then turned to how evasive Amanda had always been

about the topic and her emotions flashed with a

hot bit of anger. She icily gazed at her mother and

replied, "What the hell is wrong with you! I mean

really? I have always defended 'your way' to

people, but about this? You had no right to keep

this from me. No right at all!" "Please . . . "

Amanda pleaded, shivering at the very cold

response she was receiving from her daughter for

the first time ever. Mac, though was unmoved as

she started taking steps towards the stairs. "Just

save it mother! . . . I have to get out of here

before I say something we both regret." Then

before Amanda could say another word, she bolted

from the porch and headed out of sight around the

house.

Amanda immediately broke down,

collapsing onto the swing and sobbing profusely.

She knew Mac would be stunned and upset but the

look of disdain she received from her child was

completely unexpected. She remained in a tearful

state of pain until Billy stepped back onto the

porch looking for Mac. He caught sight of Amanda

huddled up on the swing and could hear her muddled

cries. Slowly, he approached her and touched her

lightly. She glanced up hoping Mac had returned

so she could explain but instead finding a quite

concerned Billy towering over her. He noticed Mac

was no where in sight and quickly wondered, out

loud, if that was the reason for this chaotic

scene.

"Amanda, what's the matter and where's

Mac?" he asked patiently. Amanda attempted to clean

herself up some and do what ever she could to

reach her baby. She had witnessed her and Billy's

bond continue to grow and felt he might be the

link she needed right now. In soft, sullen tone,

she finally answered him, patting the seat next to

her, "Sit down, Billy, there's something I need to

tell you." He cautiously did as she asked and

waited for her to begin . . .

Chapter 15A . . .

Billy now stood in the doorway of the barn staring at a completely disheartened and lost Mackenzie. After talking to her mother and finding out the reason for her dismay and also Mac's absence, he figured where she might have taken off to and went after her. She, though, had only made it as far as Star's stale before, seemingly, breaking down right beside it. Her knees were pulled up to her chest with her head resting upon them and her hand still clutching the letter her mother had shown her. While Billy didn't know the particulars of what was in the letter, Amanda did enlighten him about the revelation of Mac's father. He knew this news would be tough on Mac, having been privy to a lot of her insecurities and concerns about him not being there. Now she had discovered he never even knew about her and that had he, he mostly likely would have been around.

He slowly started towards her and wonder to himself what he could really do to help ease her pain and confusion some. Mac still hadn't made a move, though, Billy's feet rustling in the hay was making more than enough noise. When he finally made it to her, he cautiously, gazed down at her sullen frame for a long moment trying to think of the perfect thing to say or do but drawing a blank until Star nudged him in the arm. He turned, momentarily, and studied the gentle animal. It was as though she was feeling Mac's pain and wanted to help. That's when Billy got his idea and placed his focus, briefly, completely on the horse. He started by opening the stale, and guiding the midnight colored beast out of her housing. He then stepped inside to retrieve her saddle and proceeded to prepare her for a ride. Mac, had finally looked up, watching through half open eyes as Billy tenderly handle her baby and had her ready to go in no time. However, when he finally placed his attention back on her she closed her eyes once more and returned to her somber solitude. She definitely in no mood for a ride and would tell him so if he mentioned it.

Yet much to her surprise, he never said a word as he leaned down next to her and slowly began to lift her from her perch nearby. He now cradled a stunned but still unresponsive Mac in his arms and went on to place her upon her horse, side saddle, before joining her. Then remembering the things she had been teaching him about riding over their time together, he began to steer Star out the barn and towards a familiar trail. The ride was pretty quiet, at first, but as they got closer and closer to their final destination, Mac managed to utter his name lightly, which garnered a response that put her at some ease.

"I'm taking you where you can think," was his gentle reply near her ear. She gave him a small smile before leaning against his chest and sighing quietly. Their bond had grown so much in their, relatively, short time together, to the point they both could just feel what the other was going through and almost instinctively knew what they needed. Both were often amazed but also very grateful for such a gift and reveled in it. They finally came to a stop at the pathway that lead to her haven and Billy dismounted and helped Mac to do the same before going to tie up the horse. While he did that, Mac began her trek down the path alone. By the time Billy caught up with her, she was already seated as she had been before in the barn, this time though, gazing out on the pond.

Billy, again, stood watching her and feeling his heart break right along with hers. Though, his family life had been anything but perfect and his relationship with his mother was shaky at best, he still couldn't imagine not ever knowing her or thinking she had totally abandoned him. It would have tortured him much like it was now doing to Mac. He still, though, didn't know he could help her through this. He thought bringing her here was a start but wasn't sure how much good it would do. Eventually, he went to her and settled in behind her like was now always the case when they came back there. Mac, as usual, leaned back into him and they pair just sat in silence for a long while. Billy held her securely in her arms while Mac continued grasping onto the note and staring off into space. Soon the quiet began to take it's toll, as Billy, while feeling her pain, couldn't help but wonder what else was going on inside her right now. She had just been handed a big shock yet hadn't said a word or even shed a tear, from what he could see, and it worried him. He needed to get her to open up and finally asked the first question that came to his mind.

In soft, boarding on emotional tone, he inquired, "Mac . . . what can I do?" She slowly turned in his hold this time and looked him directly in the eyes for the first time since this started. There she saw all the concern he had for her and her plight etched in his bright blue peepers and it pushed her over the edge she'd been dangling on since her mother drop her bomb. Her eyes began stinging then glistening with tears and still without a words being spoken, she simply reached out and wrapped her arms around him. When she did this, Billy immediately felt her let go and begin to break completely down. He tightened his own hold on the distraught beauty as her sobs increased and her embrace became more desperate. Each body racking sob shot through Billy as well as Mac. He knew, at the moment, the thing he hated most in the world was to see her so upset. The only thing that kept him from joining her was the knowledge that when she got out all her emotions, she would need him . . . and he intended to be the strength she needed to get through this when she was ready . . .

It was nearing sunset before Mac had finally calmed down enough to loosen her hold on Billy. Her crying had subsided while Billy stroked her hair lightly and rocked her gently in his arms and the couple now sat in another penetrating silence. This one would be short lived, however, as Mac was now ready to try and make sense out of this. Her voice was shaky and child like as she finally let the first words, in a long while, slip from her lips. "How could she keep this from me . . . how?" Billy closed his eyes, briefly and tried to avoid reacting to the small crack that was in her voice as she questioned. Billy wasn't sure how to respond either. Again, Amanda, hadn't told him everything but did give a few reasons for her decision not to included Mac's father in her life. Billy, though, wasn't sure it was his place to point out these reason, so he instead, attempted to guide her towards the person who could explain to her why things happened as they did.

After placing a soft peck on her forehead, he spoke in a calming voice and replied, "I'm so sorry you have to go through this and I wish to God I could answer that question for you but I think we both know there's only one person who can truly do that." Mac pulled away from him slightly, and studied his handsome face for a short moment before dropping her eyes and faintly retorting, "My mother." Billy lifted her face back up and nodded, "I know you're upset with her and I don't blame you at all but don't you think you deserve to know why you were denied your father?" The way he worded that last phrase got to Mac immensely. Where as anyone else probably would have said doesn't your mother deserve the right to explain herself, Billy made it clear that it was about what she was entitled to that was relevant and important. She was again moved by just how much what she was feeling meant to him.

Mac, though, was not sure how she would fair in a conversation with her mother at this point and relayed that to him. "Yes, I want to know why but I'm not sure I can do this . . . if I'm ready to hear the answer," she returned emotionally. Billy took her face into his strong but gentle hands as he confidently responded, "I know you can, Mac. The only way you can deal with this is to know everything behind it and like I always say, there's no time like the present, right?" She gave him a half smile, "Yeah I guess . . . " "Then what do you say we get you back so you can get your answers?" he cut in, hoping to prevent a but from slipping in. Mac didn't reply right away, instead, watching him slowly begin to rise. It constantly blew her mind to think someone so handsome, sweet and caring had taken an interest in her but having him here with her now, she felt so blessed that he did genuinely care about her. She finally rose to join him but before he could start back towards the trail she stopped him by reaching up and taking his face into both her hands now.

The two then maintained deep eye contact as she quietly finished, "Thank you . . . for just being here for me and showing me just how much you care." He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers as he softly replied, "I do care about you . . . so much. We will get through this together." "Promise?" Mac questioned, quietly. Billy gave her a blazing version of that killer smile while concluding, with gesture and all, "Cross my heart." That garnered the first genuine smile out of Mac in a while before the duo shared in a tender peck and lingering hug. They then went off to face her past and, as it would turn out, a part of Billy's present . . .

Chapter 15B . . .

The pair, eventually, arrived back at the house after sunset and stood on the porch, momentarily, while Mac composed herself some more. Once she prepared to move forward, Billy held her up briefly and reassured said, "You'll be fine. Just listen and hear each other out, OK?" "OK," was her simple response. He nodded and gave her one more grin before finishing, "I'm going to go make sure I have everything ready for tomorrow while you and your mom talk." That statement caused Mac to react instantly and some what out of character. She emotional replied to his words, "No! I want you there. I can't do this alone . . . please say you'll stay with me." Billy wasn't expecting that kind of reaction anymore then Mac. She was always so calm cool and collected. Mac, though, wasn't sure she could contain herself without having him near. So Billy took it in stride and without a thought, pulled her into another tight embrace and quietly stated, "Of course, I'll stay. Whatever you need . . . I'm here." She shook her head in his hold before slowly retreating from it, "Thank you." He kissed her hand that was now holding on to his and allowed her to lead him into the house.

They quickly found Amanda sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea. She immediately sucked in her breath when she saw her child enter the room, followed by her beau. The look of pure contempt had vanished, but left was appearances of deep seated hurt and confusion. Mac and Billy soon joined her at the table both sitting across from the troubled mother. She knew once she explained everything to Mac, no matter how sensible she had always been, her daughter would probably have trouble understanding all of her reasoning. Mac finally broke the unwavering silence with the question simple enough to open the floodgates, "Why?"

Amanda looked from her child to Billy, who had listened to her and conceded there were some valid reasons she had done what she done, though, still clearly on Mac's side, and then back to the penetrating chocolate gaze of Mac, praying she, too, would be able to see that, as well. Amanda began in softly, "Mackenzie, sweetheart, I'm sorry for this . . . for causing you this kind of pain. I never meant to . . . " Mac cut off her apology, though, and went back to her question, "Then why . . . why did you keep this from me? Why didn't you tell me about him or him about me? Why would you keep me away from the one thing I have been craving my whole life . . . a father? I don't understand that, not at all." Her mother closed her eyes, briefly, trying to keep her emotions in check before continuing on, "You have to understand, darling, that when I got pregnant with you, I was so young. I had no idea what my life was going to be about back then. I was basically going through the motions when I met your father." She paused and smiled lightly as she went on to explain more, "He was such a sweet, gentle man, which at first I thought came with what he did, missionary work, but I soon found out he was just that kind of person at heart . . . you have allot of him in you, baby. That compassion and willingness to do for others is all him."

Mac broke in again, as she lightly commented, "He's a missionary?" Amanda nodded, "Yeah, he traveled all over the world helping those less fortunate. He was truly a great man." Her admissions were only serving to add to Mac's confusion, "So why did you leave him and why didn't you tell him about me?" "Because, I was still a kid when I became involved with him, barely eighteen. I knew he would want a commitment and to take care of me if he found out about you and I just wasn't ready back then for that. I still wasn't sure what I wanted and I didn't think it was fair to pull him into my uncertainty. So I did the only thing I could think of at the time . . . I left. I told him I needed some space and I left," Amanda returned, with emotion obviously seeping into her words.

Billy remained a quiet observer to the exchange and could see how much this topic was getting to both women. This man she spoke of seemed to be a find by anyone's standards yet Amanda chose to leave him behind and keep him and Mac apart. Like he told her, he could understand her not being ready to settled down, but he still understood Mac's hurt more. She was denied a relationship with her father her whole life. Why couldn't she have let him in when Mac was old enough to understand? That turned out to be the next question from Mac herself.

"But that doesn't explain why you never told me all of this before now. Why was I kept in the dark, even after I asked you about him?" Amanda let out a small breath as she continued, "I worked so hard to make you life carefree and uncomplicated , Honey, and I just didn't think introducing him in your life would have served any purpose but to upset that and besides that I didn't really know where he was once you started asking about him. He was always on the move and I had no clue how to find him, so I just decided to let it lay." Mac shook her head at her mother's logic as she coolly chimed in, "What gave you the right to make a decision that affected me so deeply without letting me have a say. You knew how desperate I was to have him in my life but you stayed quiet . . . Let me ask you this, had Billy never mentioned Genoa City, would you have ever told me?" Amanda immediately dropped her head, giving Mac the answer she suspected. She was now racking her brain, trying to figure out how to deal with all of this.

Her attention soon turned back to the letter she had been carrying since she read it, prompting her to then asked yet another poignant question, "You said you had no idea where he was, did you ever even attempt to contact his mother . . . my grandmother to find out?" Her mother's eyes darted to the letter Mac held and then sadly came back, "No. I didn't know what I would say to her. We had never met. I wasn't sure she even knew about me. What was I suppose to do, call her up one day and say is you son around I'm the mother of his child, your grandchild that you didn't know existed? I just thought it best to not interrupt everyone's lives. We were doing fine and I'm sure wherever he was he was, as well."

"This is unbelievable . . . all this time, I could have known, maybe even had some contact with him but you kept that from happening. How am I suppose to deal with that, huh?" Amanda again, shied away from her child's less then hospitable gaze and quietly added, "I'm so sorry, baby but I only did what I thought was best at the time. You have to believe that." Mac, this time, just rolled her eyes, and didn't reply, instead reading over the note once more before quietly uttering her grandmother's name, "Katherine Chancellor . . . I wonder if she's still even there?" The moment he heard that name, Billy silence was ended. He glanced over at his beau and repeated the name himself, "Katherine Chancellor?"

Mac looked up and noticed the surprise on his face, "Yeah . . . " She then paused briefly and let the look click in her head before finally inquiring, "Do you know her?" Amanda was once again focused in on the pair and waited, along with Mac, for his response. " Yes, she's actually a close friend of my family." Mac's eyes brightened at his admission, while Amanda questioned, "Are you sure it's the same person, Billy?" "To my knowledge, there's only one Katherine Chancellor in Genoa City and I've know her since I was a child." A new air quickly overtook the room as Mac's excitement was quiet evident. She gave Billy her full attention now as she began to bombard him with questions, "I can't believe this! You know her. Tell me what is she like? Is she smart, fun . . . ? Have you ever met my father?" Neither Billy or Amanda had seen her this hyped in a long while and he quickly tried to answer some of her inquires. "Well, let's just say Mrs. Chancellor has, since I can remember, always danced to her own drummer but she's really a nice lady. She has always been good to me and my family. She's really intelligent and has a offbeat sense of humor. She's always very real and straight forward with people and while I know she has a son, I have never met him personally."

That heavenly glow had returned to Mac's face and made Billy extremely happy that he could help bring it there. Amanda, though, knowing her daughter, became quite weary. She was pretty sure where this was headed and she wasn't sure Mac could handle that right now. So she again spoke up, cutting into her daughter's exuberance, "Honey, I know this is exciting for you but please tell me you you're not thinking of taking this any further?" Mac looked over at her mom and furrowed her brow, "Meaning?" "Meaning, while you're there with Billy, that you're not going to seek this woman out . . . spring yourself on her because I have to tell you, I don't think that would be such a good idea," she returned. Mac was in no mood to hide her irritation with her mother at the moment and let her words relay as much, "And why is that, mother? Because she might actually want to get to know me? That she might know where my father is? Why would you have a problem in me meeting the rest of my family, now?"

Amanda could see Mac was taking this all wrong and moved to try and soothe the tension some. She reached across the table and cover her child's hand, which, much to her relief, Mac didn't rebut, and softly explained her point, "It's not that, Sweetheart, it's just that you don't know how you'll be accepted there and I don't want you to get hurt anymore then you already are. What if you do this and she's not as accepting of who you are? Can you honestly say that wouldn't devastate you all over again?" Mac remained quiet this time mulling over her mother's logic. With this, she knew Amanda might be right. After all the only thing she had as proof was her mother's story and an old letter from her father. What if that wasn't enough? Billy thought of sounding off but he wasn't really sure how Mrs. C would react to this type of news. She was quite eccentric and might think Mac was out for something other than finding her family. He definitely didn't want Mac walking into a situation like that either.

Mac, though, had come to her own conclusion and felt it was the best way to address the whole situation, "What if I just want to see her . . . in person and know what she's like? I don't even have to tell her who I am. I think that's fair to her and to me." Amanda knew how stubborn her daughter could be when she set her mind to something so she relented, feeling how much she really needed this right now, "All right, I won't interfere if this is what you really want." "It is," Mac broke in firmly. "Ok, but just promise me you'll be careful. I don't want to see you hurt again." Mac felt the genuine sentiment behind those words but was still a bit upset with her mother, though not as much as before, so she lightly pulled her hand away from her and replied, "Don't worry. I'll be fine." Her mother closed her eyes, once more, and prayed she was right. Mac then turned to Billy and gave him a soft kiss on the lips before softly saying, "Thank you for coming into my life and also giving me this opportunity." He gave her a small smile as he playfully replied, "It's destiny, right?" She returned his grin before slowly rising and announcing, "I'm going to head to my room and finish packing for tomorrow."

She then vanished leaving Billy alone with Amanda. There was then a long silence that Billy finally broke by deciding make sure he was ready, as well. He made it as far as the door before Amanda stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He turned in looked into the mature version of those warm mocha orbs and waited for her to say what was on her mind. Then with all the conviction she could muster, she obliged, "Billy, can you please do something for me?" "If I can." "Please take care of my girl," she concluded. Billy searched her face, briefly, and could see all the worry etched there, so he gave her that trademark grin and shook his head gently as he responded, "You never have to ask me to do that." She reciprocated his warm glow, then tenderly caressed his handsome face before both parted for their rooms.