This idea has been buzzing around my head for a few weeks, so I decided to just go with it and see what happens.

Jo Belle is the main character in the fic "jO bekke at HUgwRts", available in its original form on her profile, "jo bel" or with commentary anywhere else.

Or did the original get taken down? I can't find it.


"omfg, wat r u doin?" Ebony gasped, leaning over Jerry's shoulder. Jerry suppressed a disgusted shudder at her presence, and rolled his eyes.

"I told you, I am trying to redeem myself in the eyes of the lorf by getting rid of all these ongodly fandoms," he replied through clenched teeth, returning to the elaborate blueprints and plans scattered around him in the tiny forest clearing they were hiding in. He had already attempted to explain his plan to get God to forgive him for all the heinous acts he committed as a Prayer Warrior to Ebony about forty-two times, but it didn't seem to be getting through her MCR-clouded brain.

"hoe will dis sac u frm eternal damnation?" Ebony pressed on, sitting cross-legged on the ground, "nd wont dis just be killing moar ppl? its stuipes."

"Your stupid!" Jerry snapped, and mentally berated himself for saying something so childish, "Their are otter factors."

"u dont hav any!" she yelled. Jerry picked up a blueprint of a Bloomsbury Publishing factory, and was prepared to throw it at Ebony when he heard a rustling in the bushes. Blueprints still in hand, he froze, hoping the person or animal or whatever it was would just pass by them peacefully.

Apparently Ebony had other ideas.

"Crookshanks!" Ebony yelled out, pointing her wand at the bushes. There was a small, feminine yelp of pain and a small girl, possibly eleven or twelve, with dirty blonde hair that reached her ankles came tumbling out of the greenery. Straightening up, she stared at Ebony for a few seconds, forehead scrunched, until she got a happy look of understanding in her eyes.

"o mi gudd iur an whiytch!1111111" the stranger said, pulling out a wand and waving it around hazardously, "im siii hsppi 2 meat u im jO bekke!111"

"Not another one," Jerry muttered, praying silently for salvation. Ebony crossed her arms over her barely-leather-clad chest.

"r u a fokin prep?" she said slowly, eyes narrowed. The blonde girl's jaw dropped.

"NOOOOE! U HAZ A NURTHURN AXSENT UR SO !11" she screamed, and Jerry winced, trying to shove leaves into his ears to block out the noise, "WI DU YIO SETOOOOPED LIBERALS ECZUST U GO TO HELKL!1111111111111"

Ebony gasped dramatically and raised her wand again, but Jerry stopped her before she could obliterate the newcomer.

"Wait, did you say you are not a liberal?" Jerry said, walking up to her slowly. She nodded.

"ya im a awshum sufherner," she sniffed. Jerry nodded understandingly.

"How wood you like to become a Prayer Warrior… Joe Beck, was it?"

"nu, jp belk," she corrected.

"Jep Bulk?" Jerry repeated, puzzled.

"jobil"

"Jawbill?"

"nu111!111 jo bel!111"

"Jo Belle?" he tried again, and she nodded. Jerry sighed with relief. "How wood you like to become a Prayer Warrior, Jo Belle?"

"okz" she replied with finality. Jerry smiled wanly at the girl. An ally was still an ally, no matter how bad their spelling was.

"how cum u nevr asjed me to b a prayr warrior?" Ebony squaked indignantly from somewhere behind them. Jerry ignored her.

"First we will need to get you baptized. I do not know weather you have been baptuzed before but it is better to be on the safe side," he explained, "Do you know of a good lake where I can baptize?"

Jo Belle nodded. "I no wehr." Jerry beamed.

"Take us there!"

Jo Belle took Jerry's hand in her own, and Ebony's as well, albeit reluctantly, and muttered an incantation. Soon they were in the middle of a large, dark cavern.

Jerry frowned.

"This doesn`t look like a lake…" he murmured. Ebony nodded. Jo Belle hissed at them to wait, or at least Jerry assumed she did, and the little group fell silent. They stood in that spot, unmoving, until they heard an angry yell from behind them.

"There they are!" a distinctly male voice cried out. They spun around just in time to see the mob from before fanning out and surrounding them, and at their head, Draco Malfoy.

"draco! how culd u do dis 2 me?" Ebony gasped.

"& mi!11" Jo Belle chimed in.

"And me," Jerry said angrily, "I thought you were an honorable Prayer Warrior."

"nd a goff!" Ebony added.

Draco stared at them. "A what?"

"Come on, it doesn't matter!" Grover Underwood said, going over to stand next to Draco, "Do you have any idea how many times I've been killed in that guy's series? Or how many times you died in the 'goff' girl's thing? I just wanna get this over with. Just put them someplace they can't terrorise us anymore!"

Draco nodded, and gestured to some mob members to grab the trio. Jo Belle flapped her arms and whined.

"butt i brung den in!1 donut i grt 2 go fri?"

Draco walked towards Jo Belle, and as he gently put a hand on her shoulder, he said one simple word.

"No."


Spent an entire Saturday on this. I'm slightly ashamed of myself.

Fun fact- the troll who wrote the original My Immortal fic wrote a commentary for "jO bekke at HUgwRts". You can find it on his (yes, his) profile, XXXmidnitegoffXXX, along with an easier-to-read (though less amusing) version of My Immortal, a full confession, and Pokemon and Lord of the Rings fics.

Todd Gilesbie, if you're reading this, I worship you.