Summary: The war between Jotunheim and Asgard draws to a close, but thanks to a horrible twist of Fate (or perhaps not), the nameless runt of Laufey-King is not discovered by Odin and so begins a remarkable journey of life that should not have been. Jotun!Loki AU. Set pre-/during-/after Thor/Avengers Assemble. MCU-verse only.

Warnings: ANGST! Loki-whump! Language, adult situations, violence, child abuse, dub-con, sexual assault (also of a minor), substance abuse, one abortion scene (sort of).

Comments: This is not a slash fic. Sorry. It's Loki-centric, although I definitely show the rest of the Avengers and etc. Please review! Constructive criticism welcome.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers. Marvel owns it. I do not get paid for this piece of work. Sadly, but understandably. LOL.

Thanks so much to mirtama who reviewed!

So encouraging to me! Please let me know what you think! It helps me tweak things - and plus I just love reading Loki rants. (If that's all you wanna do in the review box, go ahead and rant!) Especially if you have good things to rant about... say... the epic hair of the Thor 2 trailer. Is anyone else excited for epic hair Loki?

C'mon guys. Be honest!

OKAY. Onward. For this chapter, specifically, the warning is... ABORTION! (Sort of. Yes. Ish.)

I don't think this has been tried before in Loki fic... so let's see how this bitter pill goes down... (shifty eyes) (ahem) Yes. Tried to keep my personal opinion from being blatantly shown. Here's to hoping.


Distortions In Time
[Bitter Desolation, Incandescent Harmony]

Chapter 2
The Least of These

Asgardians believe – many still believe – the Jotunn race are birthed out of the snow. This observation came after decades of sporadic contact with said race and even less frequent thought... Particularly concerning the obvious lack of women among the Jotunn traders they had haggled with, and then, during the Long War, the prisoners they had captured (and killed). However, a few learned Aesir academics – old mages and adept women healers – came to the conclusion that if they had dissected the Jotunn corpses at their disposal correctly, the Jotunn were neither male nor female in the conventional Asgardian sense of the word.

That was all they figured out about Jotunn biological reproduction. The rest of Asgardian accounts relied on rumours and old wive's tales – babes birthed into drifts of snow, incubating in the ice, the size of the giant babes and the staple of fish blood upon which they suckled.

They could not imagine the burden of carrying a child for a creature of neither gender – a heaviness in the body, the perpetual imbalance in motion and the drain on one's life force. Laufey-King, returning to the front lines, made light of it – with difficulty. Despite the fact he held unlimited power in his grasp, the King of Jotunheim continually struggled with physical exhaustion and magical depletion.

Not only was it a battle to harness the wild chaotic force of Jotunheim's spirit, but the babe was hungry for its power and drained magic from Laufey at alarming speeds. Nestled in his belly behind Laufey's long bone fauld, the babe was shielded from lance and sword – but lay ever closer to the Casket.

It drank deeply – and Laufey knew then that Kaldro may have spoken truer than he would like to admit. This child could be a being of great power, Laufey thought one evening, stretched out on a bed of ice and snow within his personal dome room. He laid a hand on his still flat belly. Yet, the child seems to grow so little. A small thing. Perhaps if I had more energy to give it and sustenance, it would be more ready for the harsh world...

And so Laufey's long pregnancy continued unhindered – and Farbauti gained hope.

-0-0-0-

[... then... silence fell...]

The Frost Giants lost their foothold in Midgard.

Fell back to Griotunagardar.

And Odin All-Father and Asgard followed hard, unrelentingly, unwilling to lose their advantage.

[... and the land descended into darkness...]

-0-0-0-

Fleeing Griotunagardar as it roared in the uncontrolled flames of nightmare (fire), Laufey, doubled over in pain and assisted by Farbauti and several of his medics, cursed Odin and Asgard and the entire Nine Realms – but not as darkly as he cursed himself and sentiment and the child within. When at last, the lagging vanguard of fleeing Jotunns arrived at the stronghold of Utgard a week later, Laufey then allowed himself to be escorted to his personal Healing Room and examined. He wanted it out of him before night fell.

"It is still small for its age –"
"Get it out," Laufey barked, between gritted teeth as Farbauti bound up a nasty shoulder wound. "I am wounded already thanks to that blasted Aesir bowman – and between the child and the exhaustion and the wounds, I cannot carry on so –"
"But to remove the little one –" Farbauti's voice cracked. "He is still too young – too small – even for an early birth, he will not survive –"
"The rate of growth is indeed worrying," one of the healers shook their heads. "It is, perhaps, deformed in some way..."
"Deformed in body," another one added, "and possibly in mind as well."
"Even more reason to be rid of it," Laufey cursed. "It is nothing but a tiny parasite as it is – I would be rid of it – NOW!" He ended on a roar and Farbauti stepped back with a wince and nodded stiffly.

Without any further delay, the healers brought forward potions for Laufey-King and began to lay out well-cleaned knives of bone and steel, bought from the finest Vanir traders and the Dark Elves on Svartalfheim. Farbauti kept his eyes on Laufey's red ones instead and waited with him for sleep to come.

"We will prepare," he said and then added softly. "Perhaps," Farbauti hesitated then. "Perhaps he will survive – if he is anything like his father."
"It is nothing but a burden, Farbauti, forget it. Do not hold onto it so. Call it for what it is."
"He is alive and I can feel him moving – this is –"
"Necessary, if we wish to save Jotunheim," Laufey cut into Farbauti's protest. "And –"

Just then, a messenger entered the room, face dark with worry. At Laufey's peremptory wave, the Jotun approached and knelt before the King bringing the troubling news – Odin's men had only paused momentarily and were even now arming themselves for the long march to Utgard. Scouts had returned with news that Odin All-Father had given a speech to his men and promised to burn Utgard to the ground within the week. Even worse, more reinforcements had come through the Bifrost just outside the gates of Utgard - a larger force better equipped with provisions and tents. Although they did not seem to be doing more than entrenching themselves within the rock and the snow by the edge of the Eybjarg, they were a massive threat. Damn the Gatekeeper to Helheim.

"Farbauti," Laufey grasped his Consort and dragged him closer urgently. "I need you – I need you to go for me with the rested troops and take a stand by Gastropnir. Delay them for at least a few days, that I may find some rest – and then, return to – return to me, beloved, on the high road. It is there I will join you and together, with our backs to the Eybjarg, we will face our strongest fears."
"Laufey –" Farbauti began, but Laufey closed his eyes.
"I am so... so... tired..."
"Sleep," Farbauti breathed gently, squeezed Laufey's hand and rose.

He did not look behind him.

-0-0-0-

The realms are full of wonders - science and magic intermingle in an eternal seamless dance, organic in ways that many may wonder at. With some, it comes as natural as breathing air – and the healers on Jotunheim were no different. Well-versed in their craft, they cut open the womb with a neat incision, removed the fetus and carefully laying heillgrjot on the opened flesh, fusing the cuts together until there was only black lines were there had been blood and a small wound.

Laufey slept.

The entire procedure was completed in silence with potions administered and rough creams ground from heillgrjot and tunglblom applied to ease any lingering pain when the King awoke. Lifting the tiny creature from King's womb had been disturbingly easy. Ordinarily, by this time, the child would have been almost ready to live on its own even if birthed this unnaturally early. As it was, the medics could see from the size of the babe and the anatomy that it was, if not deformed, then at least bizarrely small. A runt. To the uneducated, superstitious, lower classes, an abomination. To the Jotunn upper classes, an embarrassment, a sign of physical, and therefore social, failure.

Under the clinical eye of the master medic, it stirred – little red eyes opening as it lay in the palm of the medic who held the child. It began to weakly bleat.

"Take it away and dispose of it," murmured the head healer with a shrug. "It will die soon enough."

With a nod, the master medic and another summoned mage disappeared with it and the King was covered again after a variety of medicants were set out for his consumption upon waking. Healers and sages bustled about, carrying out their equipment, and then, excepting one who stayed behind to watch the King as well as two guards, they left the King to rest in peace. For a day, the King slept – and when he rose, he did not ask for the child, merely returning to his rooms to bathe and then sleep for a short time. When he rose, Laufey was happy to discover that while his full strength had not returned, he was feeling better than he had had for some time now. Without pause and ignoring the words of his healers, Laufey strode to the armoury to don his battle gear, Casket in hand.

It was only half a day's journey from Utgard when he met Farbauti's fleeing company. After several hours argument, Laufey won and Farbauti was sent on to Utgard to take his two sons up through the north passes through the Myrkr Skogr. Myrkr Skogr was a shadowy forest perfect to flee within – upward and onward to the certain safety of Skalldi and Dagaheim. Odin's force, Laufey knew, would hit Utgard hard – and if he stopped Odin here, his children would never fear the Aesir again.

-0-0-0-

The Battle of Utgard was a long and gruesome affair lasting over four daily cycles and two snowstorms were weathered before the last Jotun was rounded up. Laufey, who had retreated to the heart of the city the better to wield the Casket from the Aldinn Stathr of the Gothahus, ended up facing Odin-King himself in a glorious hand to hand combat. Perhaps it was his recent illness, perhaps it was the bone-deep exhaustion which had taken its toll, perhaps it was the fury of Odin and the need to end it at all cost... Laufey never knew, but as he twisted around, Odin's blast from Gungnir caught him and, burning into the flesh of his ribs, brought Laufey to his knees.

The Casket had been set on its pedestal – a small thing, yet so powerful – and so far from his grasp. It reminded him of what he had most recently lost. Laufey cursed and reached forward, unable to shield himself from Odin's blow. He found himself lying on his back, ignoring the jabbing pains deep within his belly and glared up at Odin's face which was bloody, worn and filled with regret.

For the first time, Laufey felt his age. Looking at Odin's remaining blue eye and white hair, the Jotun King had a feeling that Odin understood as well. Behind him one of the King's men stepped up and removed the Casket – and within hours, at the decree of Odin, the Casket was kept for the safety of the Nine Realms.

Never again would Jotunheim use its power so wastefully and ruinously.

Never would it know power again.

"I wish this had not come to pass," Odin admitted to Laufey one night, on the last day he planned to stay on Jotunheim. "Many have died for this war of which none can remember the origin. Now has come a time for peace – at whatever cost."

It was then, for the second time – and last time, that Laufey thought of the child who never was.

"Whatever the cost," he agreed slowly. "Whatever the cost."


Well. Uh. Sorry for the shortness. Maybe I'll try to make up for the shortness of the chapters by updating more often... Hmmm... Yes. That could be a possibility. We'll see... I have to proctor some mid-terms and stuff... Hmmmm... At any rate...

LOKI IS HERE! Well. He's "the child". Not even that. He's an "it" right now, thanks to the clinical detachment of medics and et al.

On a side note, the age I put him at is more in late 3rd trimester by our standards. My idea is that Jotunns take longer to gestate and sometimes the gestation is variable... Sooo, if the babe is small, the Jotunn think it will just take longer and will let it stay inside longer before forcibly removing the baby. Hope this makes sense. Sort of.

Read and review.

Glossary:

Cities: Skalldi, Dagaheim
fauld – a part of armour around the lower midsection
heillgrjot – healing stones
Aldinn Stathr – Ancient Place
gothahus - temple