Chapter 2 "The Longest Night"
Tom sat down in his quarters, unable to sleep.
Dinner had been awkward, to say the least. It was obvious that B'Elanna and Burke had shared a lot of good times during their days at the Academy. They had spent most of dinner reminiscing about the good old days. Harry had thrown in quite a few reminisces of his own, but Tom had been uncharacteristically silent.
He didn't like it one bit. Couldn't stand to see B'Elanna so comfortable, so at ease, so familiar with another man. All throughout dinner, he couldn't help but think about all that those two had shared... and wonder if there was any spark left in this old flame.
Burke kept calling her "BLT," and every time, Tom had fought the urge to punch him. Pesky ex-boyfriend...
B'Elanna didn't seem to mind the nickname. This he couldn't figure out. He had never thought that B'Elanna would be one tolerate something like that.
She had never mentioned Burke before, so Tom had only his own observations to go on. She seemed to be very affectionate with him, which was rare. Seemed younger, happier, more carefree...
He didn't like it one bit.
His face flushed with embarrassment, remembering what had happened earlier. At the end of dinner, when Burke and B'Elanna were lingering at the dinner table, Tom had been anxious to get out of there. He had placed his hand on B'Elanna's arm, telling her, "Come on, sweetheart, we'd better get going."
Silence.
He wasn't sure what had possessed him to do that, but he'd felt a desperate, overwhelming need to assert his claim to her somehow. Of course it hadn't worked.
She had merely shot him a look like he was crazy, one that plainly said, "Sweetheart? When did you start calling me sweetheart?" Harry had tried really hard not to laugh, without much success. And Burke had barely hid a knowing smirk. Which only made Tom all the more annoyed and insecure, realizing that Burke saw right through him.
Worse yet, B'Elanna had told him, "You go on ahead. I'll see you later."
Clearly she had been enjoying herself and was reluctant to leave Burke's company.
It hurt.
What made him even more nervous was that he had noticed that Max Burke had a way of charming the ladies. Crewman Henley had been impressed by how knowledgeable he was about this region of space. Ensign Jenkins, Lieutenant Nicoletti and Ensign Jurot had all commented on how affable and pleasant he was. The Delaney sisters thought he was a hunk. Crewman White hadn't been able to take her eyes off of him in the Mess Hall. Ensign Brooks couldn't stop raving about him. Even Seven had proclaimed him "efficient," and that was the highest compliment anyone could receive from her.
Tom frowned. He
didn't like competition, and he'd certainly never had to deal
with anything like this before. The most competition he'd ever had
was Ensign Freddie Bristow, whom B'Elanna had scoffed was "a
child," and of course, Vorik. Nothing
to worry about.
The only other man who'd had a hold of B'Elanna's affections was Chakotay... but Tom and B'Elanna had been over that one several times. There was no reason for him to be jealous of Chakotay.
This wasn't the same. He wasn't quite sure how to handle this. Commander Max Burke was clearly interested in B'Elanna... and while she might claim that she didn't return the sentiment, Tom was still worried. After all, she and Burke had a history. What if this old flame had never really died out? It might not take much to rekindle the fire.
It made him terribly uneasy, because there was clearly genuine affection between them.
He felt like he had to size up the competition.
But the more he thought about it, the worse his fears became.
Commander Maxwell Burke. First Officer of the Federation starship USS Equinox. The Equinox was a small, Nova class science ship, but still... it was impressive for a man as young as Burke to make First Officer. He was clearly dedicated to his work. Ambitious, resourceful, intelligent. Respected by his crew. Even under such grim circumstances, he was dignified, strong, brave. An inspiration to them all.
Tom shook his head. He couldn't help comparing himself to Burke and thinking that he fell short.
After all, he had been kicked out of Starfleet. Dishonorably discharged. And after that, he had continued to make a complete mess of his life, ending up as a mercenary for the Maquis to pay his bar bills. Then captured by the Federation, sentenced to prison in Auckland. He had been granted a field commission by Captain Janeway only because of the extenuating circumstances, anyway. And recently demoted to ensign.
That didn't sound too good. Especially when compared to someone like Max Burke. Tom couldn't help feeling that if Burke were to seriously pursue B'Elanna, it would be no contest. It was inevitable. After spending more and more time with Burke, B'Elanna would realize that Burke had more to offer.
He would lose. He would lose her affections to this old boyfriend of hers...
...and the thought of that was unbearable.
The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that she would see it the way he did.
Why would she want him when she could have someone like Max Burke? Someone successful, agreeable, charming, understanding, patient... and definitely good-looking. Someone who didn't have a receding hairline.
And now that the Equinox crew was going to
be permanently on Voyager, Max would be around all the time. Pursuing
B'Elanna, Tom thought anxiously. He could already see
the
signs.
The arrival of the Equinox would cause quite a few changes in their lives. Already, people were meeting, getting to know each other better. It opened up a whole new world of possibilities.
Seven and Noah Lessing, for example. They had taken to each other right away.
And was it his imagination or was there something between Chakotay and Ensign Marla Gilmore? They had been spending an awful lot of time together.
A few of the young female ensigns from the Equinox had even approached Tom, flirted with him a bit.
He grimaced, hoping that B'Elanna wouldn't hear about that. He had made it clear to the ensigns that he was taken.
But apparently these ladies knew all too well about Burke's past involvement with B'Elanna and his reputation with women...
They had implied none-too-subtly that Tom might be needing consolation soon and had even suggested that they'd be more than happy to provide it.
That was not a good sign.
His heart was on the verge of breaking.
But what could he do about it?
Nothing.
That was the problem. He wanted to something, anything, but what? He couldn't exactly challenge Burke to a duel or something for B'Elanna's affections. There wasn't a whole lot he could do.
But he didn't know what he would do if B'Elanna dumped him in favor of getting back together with Max.
He didn't know if he could face them every day. Having to work with them every day. Having to take orders from the smug, triumphant Commander Burke.
Tom couldn't sleep. He was too
troubled by his insecurities. He wasn't accustomed to feeling this
way, so lost, uncertain, and vulnerable. He wasn't jealous or
possessive by nature, but B'Elanna meant the world to him, and this
was too important to take lightly
or pretend that it didn't
matter. He was terrified of losing her.
He was usually quite skilled at hiding his feelings, but he was sensitive, and hiding was the only way to protect himself from getting hurt. As a result, he wasn't very good at expressing his feelings, either.
He had been hoping that B'Elanna would stop by... But so far she hadn't, and he had given up on that idea.
So he had gone by her quarters instead, feeling the need to see her. He needed to talk to her.
But when he had gotten closer, he had heard voices in the corridor. B'Elanna – he would recognize the low murmur of her voice anywhere. But obviously she wasn't alone.
It had to be Burke.
Tom froze, not knowing what to do. Finally he peeked around the corner.
Sure enough B'Elanna was standing in her doorway, in nothing but her blue silk robe, the one that matched her blue nightgown... and Burke was standing just outside her door, leaning against the door frame, and they were talking in low tones.
His heart had nearly broken when after a few minutes, he saw them go into her quarters.
The thought of them together made him physically ill.
This was only the beginning, he was sure. Any day now, B'Elanna would be telling him that she was dumping him for Burke. The thought filled him with cold dread.
How was he supposed to go on, having to see them together every day? It would be unbearable. He wouldn't be able to get away from it. Wouldn't be able to get away from them.
The night dragged on... painfully.
(To be continued in Chapter 3…)
