Another Updated A/N: THIS IS A SHENNY STORY, AS IN PENNY & SHELDON END UP TOGETHER! The Shamy is gone by then end of part one and the Lenny is gone by the end of part two. There is also CHEATING. As in being unfaithful to one you have committed to. If any of this upsets or triggers you go read something else, God knows there are plenty of other fics out there that are not full of badness like this one is.
Update A/N: Decided to come back and edit in one more note. I need to reiterate that this is not a nice, happy story. It's also not a romance. Bad things happen. Also, this entire story is told from Penny's POV. The thoughts and motivations of every single other character are what Penny perceives and are not necessarily correct. Please, if you start reading something that makes you uncomfortable or triggers you stop reading. Go read something happy.
A/N: I'm posting a day early, hope no one minds. ;)
Thanks to the incredibly awesome Delucababe for the beta and support! She is helping to make the writing process fun again for me. :D
See end notes for chapter warnings.
Chapter 2
"Amy!" Penny waved at her friend when she entered the cafe the next morning.
The brunette gave her a shaky smile as Penny sat across from her at the small table. After ordering a coffee and a bear-claw, Penny took a moment to study the brain scientist. Amy looked paler than usual and had purple circles under her eyes that almost looked like bruises. Her shoulders were hunched, like she was trying to make herself as small as possible, and she kept giving Penny wary looks as if she expected her to start yelling at any moment.
Penny sighed and forced herself to smile. "You look miserable, Amy."
The brunette shrugged and lowered her eyes to the table.
"Sheldon is just as miserable," Penny offered, her words causing Amy to meet her eyes again.
"He is?" she asked, hopefully. Penny nodded raising her eyebrows at the relief on her friend's face.
"Good. This was a test, a hard one, but he appears to be passing," Amy confessed. Penny crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.
"A test? Amy, what kind of game are you playing here?" she demanded, as a fierce need to protect Sheldon suddenly rose up in her.
Amy swallowed at Penny's anger, but then hung her head and explained.
"It's been years, Penny, years! I've been so patient with him, but I'm not getting any younger and I'm just not sure how much longer I can wait on him to be ready!"
"Well, your handling it wrong, Amy," Penny remarked flatly.
Amy blinked and looked up at her in confusion.
"This isn't exactly a new problem," Penny continued. "Despite your pushing and hoping, you are always reassuring him that you're fine with waiting. What happened that you suddenly aren't fine with it anymore?" Penny demanded.
"I've never been 'fine' with it. I just didn't see where I had a choice. I love Sheldon and I know he loves me, but I need more and I'm really starting to think I'm never going to get it from him," she insisted passionately.
"So, you love him. Just not enough to stay with him if he won't sleep with you?" Penny accused.
Amy looked down with a sigh and sat quietly for a moment. Then she looked back up at Penny, her eyes filled with steely determination.
"Don't do this, Penny. Don't try and make me feel bad for wanting something from my boyfriend that every single one of my friends get from theirs."
"Amy..."
"No. I've had five years to think about this and I've decided that I'm done. I don't care if it sounds crass, but sex is the deal breaker. If he doesn't want to do it, then that's it. What we have isn't working for me, and I'm tired of pretending that it is. I'm doing us both a disservice. He needs to give me what I need or let me go."
Penny quietly contemplated Amy's words. She really wanted to say something in Sheldon's defense. Amy was a friend, but Sheldon was... well, he was like family. If it came down to it, she would always side with Sheldon over Amy. However, Amy's words were true. If she really was only pretending she was okay with not having sex just so Sheldon wouldn't break up with her, then that was a real problem. Penny hadn't lied the night before when she told Leonard that she wouldn't feel right about starting a new life without knowing that Sheldon would be taken care of. This was a huge mess, and Penny decided that Amy was probably right.
"Okay. I agree with you. Now it's time you told him," Penny instructed.
"What? I c-can't just..." Amy trailed off, looking scared again.
Penny leaned forward and grabbed Amy's hand. "Sheldon needs to hear what you just told me. He needs to know that you are unhappy and what to do about it. Taking a 'break' or even just walking away is only going to end up doing more damage."
"I don't want to hurt him," Amy protested.
"You already have," Penny whispered softly. "The best thing you can do right now is tell him the truth. Tell him what you need and let him decide if he loves you enough to give it to you."
"And if he doesn't love me enough?" Amy asked, her voice shaky with uncertainty.
"Then he'll have to let you go."
"Shh!" Penny hissed at Leonard as he lost his balance and nearly fell. She caught him by his sleeve and pulled him back behind the wall hoping Sheldon and Amy hadn't noticed. The odd couple had requested privacy for their talk, but Penny needed to hear so she could fix it when one of them screwed it up as they inevitably would. That is why she and Leonard were hiding behind the corner doing their best to listen to the quiet conversation that was taking place on the couch.
"I was going to ask you to marry me," Sheldon was explaining as he held up the engagement ring for Amy's approval.
The brunette closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. "Oh, Sheldon. I love you and nothing would make me happier than becoming your wife. But, I am a woman with needs and you have not even tried to help me out."
Sheldon responded too softly for Penny to hear, but she saw Amy's face take on a considering expression as she pondered his words.
"Are you sure, Sheldon? I don't want to force you into anything, but I just can't continue on like we have been anymore," Amy declared sadly.
Sheldon said something else and then leaned forward to kiss her. The kiss lasted a long time and Penny had to stifle a giggle when Leonard whispered, "Ew, they're not going to do it right now are they?"
Sheldon finally leaned back and Amy nodded at him.
"Okay, I'll see you at my place on Friday. Seven sharp," Amy confirmed.
She placed a chaste kiss on his lips, stood up, and gave him one last slight smile before exiting the apartment. Sheldon stared at the closed door for a moment before putting his head in his hands.
Penny immediately went to sit beside him.
"Sweetie? Are you okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head and looked at her through tear-filled eyes.
"Amy said she won't agree to marry me until I sleep with her," he confessed looking scared.
"Are you going to do it?" Leonard asked, taking his usual seat.
Sheldon sighed and then nodded. He wiped his eyes and jumped to his feet.
"Yes, but first I have research to do," he said, going to his desk and powering up his laptop.
Penny and Leonard exchanged a glance.
"What kind of research?"
"How to have sex."
The next night found Penny alone and lonely in her apartment. There were several half-empty boxes scattered around from her earlier half-assed attempt at packing some things up. Leonard was with Raj at some science thing and Howard and Bernadette were out to dinner with Howard's brother. Penny had thought about calling Amy, but decided she needed to wait on things to play out between her and Sheldon.
She had invited Sheldon to come hang out, but he had insisted he continue his 'research' undisturbed. They had discovered the night before that Sheldon had a visceral reaction to watching porn that included emptying the contents of his stomach into the nearest trashcan. So he had decided to stick to text only, no more videos or pictures. It was really distressing to watch her friend go through this.
As she pulled the vodka down from atop her refrigerator she thought of what she would do in Amy's shoes. If Leonard suddenly refused to have sex with her anymore, would she leave him? Honestly? She was sure she'd try to help him get to the root of the problem before just walking away, but then that was still different from Amy and Sheldon's situation.
Penny had always believed sex and love went hand in hand since the time she knew what sex was. And she knew without a doubt you could have sex without love. But love, romantic love, without sex? It wasn't something that had ever occurred to her until Amy and Sheldon had started dating. Though Amy was obviously miserable with the set-up, Sheldon was oddly satisfied. Penny had always written it off as just another part of Sheldon's whack a doodle personality but, despite his oddness, he was a real person. He just didn't have a sex drive.
She turned and grabbed a glass from the cabinet when Sheldon's knocks started. She grinned as she listened to them, glad for the prospect of some company. Penny would never admit it to anyone, but when she drank alone, her thoughts tended to get a little dark.
"Come in, Sheldon," she called when he had finished his knocking.
He hesitantly came in and shut the door behind him, leaning against it.
"Hey Sheldon, I... What's wrong? Did something happen?" her greeting stalled as she realized he was shaking.
He shook his head and glared down at his trembling hands before hiding them behind his back.
"N-no. I'm well. I just came to ask you for a favor. And, just so you know, it is a tier one friendship request so you can't say no."
Penny tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at him in question, though she had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. He took a breath and stepped away from the door. Once he had stopped shaking, he lifted his head to make eye contact with her.
"I want you to have coitus with me," he said, firmly resolved.
"Oh. I thought you were going to ask me to teach you how to have sex," she returned, mildly. Sheldon always did seem to come up with pretty extreme ideas to solve his problems so Penny wasn't that surprised by the request.
Sheldon walked toward her and perched on a bar stool while Penny grabbed a second glass from the cabinet.
"No, I know how to have sex, I've read all about it. What I really want is a trial run before tomorrow night. Like a dress rehearsal," he explained.
"A 'dress rehearsal'?" she asked repeated, pouring diet coke and vodka into both glasses.
"Yes, I... What are you doing? I don't drink," he protested when she slid one of the glasses to him.
"Sheldon, you're gripping the counter so hard your fingers have turned white. I know you, Sweetie. There's no way you are going to get through the conversation we are about to have until you relax," she said, sipping her drink and encouraging him to do the same.
He released the counter and shook his hands out. Then he looked down at the drink a moment before shrugging and taking a sip.
"Okay, can we have coitus now?"
Penny snorted and shook her head.
"Let's just talk," she countered and motioned for him to follow her to the couch. They sat and drank quietly for a few minutes.
Penny asked him about work and a few TV shows, two topics that could keep him going for hours. During this time she kept refilling their drinks. She waited until she had achieved that pleasant, warm floaty feeling, and he had begun to slightly slur his words, before steering the conversation back to sex.
"Sheldon, I don't think you and I having sex is the answer," she blurted out.
He frowned, stopping mid-sentence.
"Then what is the answer? I read all about techniques to get through it as quickly and efficiently as possible, but what if I got something wrong? At least if I mess up on you I know you won't just up and walk out of my life," he pointed out logically.
"Oh, Sweetie! Of course I wouldn't," she agreed leaning toward him flirtatiously and then suddenly pulling herself back. Wait, what was she doing?
She gulped from her drink and giggled as her vision began to swim a bit.
"Okay, I have a compromise," Sheldon offered, setting his drink on the coffee table and then turning to look at her.
She looked back at him expectantly, an eyebrow quirking in intrigue.
"We won't have intercourse. Just let me practice some of the techniques I've learned on you. Let me see if I can bring you to orgasm."
Penny's brain felt fuzzy and her whole body seemed to flush with heat at his 'compromise' idea.
She didn't remember actually agreeing to this idea, but suddenly found herself in the bathroom with the shower running. Sheldon adjusted it to the correct temperature and then turned and started unbuttoning her shirt.
"Sheldon, I don't think..." she began, desperately trying to think through why this was such a bad idea. Her body obviously did not agree with her.
His hands froze on the last button and she notice his pupils were slightly dilated when he looked at her. She wanted to say it was lust, but it was probably more due to the vodka than anything else.
"Should I stop?" he asked, swaying slightly on his feet.
Yes, he should stop. This was wrong. This was cheating... Penny knew in that moment she was not quite drunk enough to blame it all on the alcohol. Why was she doing this? Other than the fact that alcohol made her horny?
Part of her wanted to get back at Leonard for his wedding night confession, another part wanted to punish Amy for doing this to Sheldon to begin with, but mostly her body burned at the thought of having the diligent and thorough Dr. Cooper focused on getting her off. He didn't seem to be hard, but he didn't look scared anymore. In fact, he looked determined and her floaty feeling increased and she realized it had nothing to do with the alcohol. And right there was the best reason of all: her friend, who had been struggling with this problem for days, no longer looked so scared and lost. He had a plan and she was the only one that could, or would, help him.
"No Sheldon. I don't want you to stop. Let's do this," she said, forcing her voice to be strong as she allowed the shirt to fall the floor and reached back to unhook her bra.
A/N: Chapter Warnings: Drinking too much, Drinking to cope, and Cheating.
Next chapter will earn the M rating and will be posted by next Sunday at the latest. Thanks for reading.
