Hallowe'en
Omin is sitting in a large chair reading "How to kill and eat your enemies, especially Mura- a book by the Bane". Mura is in another chair opposite him reading "50 Great Ways to set Omin on Fire- a book by the Bane." Arcell comes in.
ARCELL: Attention everyone!
OMIN: There's only the two of us in here, Arcell.
ARCELL: I'm glad! Now, my announcement! Hallowe'en is here and we must celebrate!
Omin and Mura look at each other.
MURA: Couldn't he stay sober for one sketch?
OMIN: Apparently not.
ARCELL: Hey, why do you assume when I have a good idea that I'm drunk!
MURA: Because you are.
ARCELL: That's beside the point! I mean, no I'm not! Look, one bottle of sherry isn't drunk! Have you seen the size of the bottle? It's tiny!
OMIN: # They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said, no, no, no.
ARCELL: Shut up! Besides! I have my best ideas when I'm slighty out of it!
MURA: Three words, Arcell: roller-blading assassins.
ARCELL: Shut you up as well! Now come on, get with the plan, you two! You'll have fun, I'm sure of it!
OMIN: Okay, fine, what do you want us to do?
MURA: Don't encourage him, Omin.
ARCELL: First thing is decorations!
MURA: Oh. Well good, in that case we're finished. You're right, that was fun.
ARCELL: Huh, how are we finished?
OMIN: Elementary my dear Arcell. All the most traditional Hallowe'en decorations are exhibited in Hult every day.
MURA: We have the spooky smoke, the ridiculous amount of black and pointy things, the toxic green water, the spine-tingling screams, frequent wolf howling, apparently there's ghosts in the slave pits, things stuck on spikes everywhere and occassionally one of us here laughs very loudly and evilly into the night.
OMIN: In my case, I laugh every full moon.
MURA: Yeah, what's up with that? ... I think we've depressed him.
ARCELL: No, no I'm not depressed. It's just... I was thinking more like some cute, pumpkin-shaped lights or something... That's all.
Arcell leaves sadly, shoulders slumped.
OMIN: I feel bad.
MURA: I feel evil, what's new?
OMIN: Oh come on, he just wants a bit of fun. It's Hallowe'en! Have a heart.
MURA: I do have a heart- it's frozen.
OMIN: You know what I mean.
MURA: Ugh, fine. Arcell! Grab your credit card, we're going to Argos!
ARCELL: Yippee! We need candy for the trick-or-treaters too!
OMIN & MURA: "Trick-or-treaters"?
(Next night and the fortress is under heavy assault by Salhart)
ELF1: Commander! We've retrieved this sign from the front gate!
ELVEN COMMANDER: "Happy Hallowe'en"... What fell monsters dwell here?
ELF2: They're firing the catapults!
ELVEN COMMANDER: Prepare to take evasive action!
ELF1: Commander, they're firing mini-projectiles!
ELVEN COMMANDER: Shields!
The elven shields spring up in long, wide rows. Clangs sound as the small projectiles pelt the steel wall.
ELF1: What the eff are these things?
ELF2: Candy!
ELF3: I've got gummy snakes!
ELF4: I've got liquorice eyeballs!
ELF5: I've got toffee!
ELVEN COMMANDER: They gave me an apple... Those evil monsters!
