Mikasa II

I"I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard

Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars

I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel

But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real

So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do

Face away and pretend that I'm not

But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got."/I

The party was similar to a washed-up popstar. At the time everything felt like a great, things were ample, nothing was ever a bad idea, and bam, there came the narcotics, hallucinogenics, stimulants; you name it. However instead of drugs a gang, Annie Leonhardt (this was debatable) and booze took their place, but either way. Soon enough this party would be talked about as if it was worthy of "legendary" but even Mikasa knew that it was a bust. Sooner rather than later it'd be regarded as the party in which "this psycho bitch knocked out three guys and almost called the police" and ruined everything.

This Mikasa was perfectly okay with but she had difficulty with coping with the previous night for several sparse reasons. The three guys who she knocked out were found to be part of a gang and scrambled away from the compound at daybreak. This wasn't what was bothering Mikasa though, it was Annie. Was she really involved in all of this? Yes, she supposedly hates Mikasa but she couldn't quite grasp how someone could possibly hold that amount of vulgarity within themselves, but maybe she was just being naive, she thought. Annie Leonhardt was now regarded as an enemy.

Mikasa glanced over towards Eren's sleeping form across the room. For a moment her thoughts ceased and she could only feel ache of something deep within her. Whether this ache came from her lack of responsibility or something else that was buried beneath, she was unsure. Eren undoubtedly had a lot to do with it but she ached for another reason, and this reason seemed to be the source of all her sudden distraught.

'Was it the way I fought?' She considered within the depths of her own mind. Her eyes flickered away and she tried considering it. She was relentless, dirty and merciless. It reminded so much of... No, forget it.

It could just be that America in general was a mistake, but she refused to believe that. Though it may be selfish, she believed she belonged there surrounded by those who loved her. She silently considered the remorse for not being able to befriend Annie, but denied it just as quickly as she thought of it.

Mikasa got up from the couch once Armin finally returned from gathering more supplies. "Please don't worry so much." His voice was soft and fragile and caught her by surprise. "I see it in your eyes. I promise to have Eren tell you everything when he wakes up."

She stared blankly and nodded like a hollow shell of a person. She knew that no such thing would happen. Eren hated it whenever Mikasa got too involved. "Thank you," she uttered through a strained voice. Armin smiled half-heartedly towards her and nodded before she proceeded out.

She retired to the guest room for the first time since she started staying there. It still smelled heavily of nicotine and teenage hormones but she disregarded it. She quietly shut the door behind her and stripped an article of her clothing with every step until she was down to her undergarments.

She slumped onto the bed instantly and laid there for a few moments with her face buried in the lush pillows. The previous night played through her mind once more and Annie only stuck out more in her mind. Perhaps this is why they became rivals in the first place. Maybe, Mikasa wondered near drunkenly, maybe the only way I don't feel admiration is by beating her.

The thought was lost near instantly, as was Mikasa as her consciousness drifted to further planes.

The days leading up to school were uneventful and filled with buying last minute school supplies and groceries. Never again did anyone speak of the party within the three but that's just how things were. They avoided things that could potentially tear them apart and they allowed for each other to have their fair share of secrets, this would just have to be Eren and Armin's.

However as the days grew closer Mikasa didn't know if she was dreading school starting or if she was looking forward to it. According to Armin Annie was one of the students who would constantly disappear but still managed to pass. Even if Annie was there, this would be her last year before going off to university and, as bothered by things as she was, she wanted to make the best of things with her last year with her friends.

"Sing for us." The voice was gentle and the words were soaked with honey. Mikasa slowly lifted eyes from a dark brown book that she gripped tightly in her hands. Eren laid on the couch next to the one she was sitting on with a bag of frozen peas pressed up against his forehead. Was it really him who said that? It sounded completely out of character. Mikasa assumed so for Armin was too busy spouting off measures at the time on a portable piano on the floor, however now he was paused and was staring up at her.

"Please?" Eren asked once more. He knew Mikasa. She would've questioned him in an instant, but she couldn't seem to resist this time.

She closed her book and set it down next to her uncomfortably. She didn't seem to know what to do but Eren seemingly wanted to leave her to her own devices.

"Do you remember our most favorite movie as kids?" It was random succeeded several moments of silence, causing Eren to perk up a bit but he nodded anyways, as did Armin.

"Peter Pan..?" Eren stated but it was more of a question than anything. Mikasa nodded and stood as hands carefully straightened the ruffles of her skirt.

"And do you remember the musical?" Eren shook his head but Armin nodded once more. Her and Armin's eyes met as he did so and she proceeded to clear her throat.

"Do you remember Never Never Land by Jule Stynes?" This time it was directed solely towards Armin who nodded once again.

"Could you play it on the piano for me?"

"I don't remember entirely by memory so your voice will have to make up for what I don't know." His voice sounded apologetic as he looked up at her.

She didn't respond quickly. Perhaps she was contemplating still but eventually she nodded. She continued to inhale sharply and, even if Armin had never worked with her, he could tell she was about to start, and they began.

Her voice was like milk despite how tense she was. Armin too concentrated hard on what he was doing and the piano only added to the sweetness of her voice.

Eren however found himself drifting through space while each note rang in his ear like an angel's hymn.

I"... Just keep an open mind and suddenly you'll find... Never.. Never land."/I

Light shone through the cracks in the blinds that belonged to the only window in the basement. It was directly behind the couch Mikasa was sitting and was small, but yet the beams hit her directly at just the right angle.

Mikasa's eyes hazily blinked open, her head turning away from the light as her dark hair spread out sparsely on the floor. She clutched Homer's Oddyssey tightly to her chest she found but continued to lay disoriented on the floor for several moments. The night before slowly came back before finally realizing that she'd spent her last night of summer serenading her best friends away, and even herself, unless that was a dream.

With her mind still a mess she continued to prepare herself for the day, as did Armin who decided it'd be for the best if Eren stayed at home.

Both if them got ready exceedingly quickly and made their way to school in silence, but it wasn't an awkward one. The two had their own thoughts to bury themselves in and they each mutually respected that.

"You should really think of singing professionally," Armin finally spoke up as they neared the school. So, not a dream. Mikasa wanted to almost tell him how silly he sounded for suggesting such a thing but she decided against it.

"Was I good enough?" After minutes Mikasa finally chose to respond with doubt hanging on her words. She stopped turned to Armin as they stood at the entrance.

Armin nodded in response and smiled with reassurance. "The best." His voice came out weak and quietly as he opened the door but Mikasa could tell he was being genuine.

They went their separate ways but vowed to find each other at lunch. Now this is where it all would start for real. Mikasa took sharp breaths while glancing at the map of all of the rooms that Armin had marked with her classes.

IChorus

AP World History

Honors English

Latin III

Lunch

Science

Math

Gym/I

She read the list to herself quietly as people began to flood into the halls. She looked up as determination set in her gaze and she proceeded.

The first portion of the day went by quickly as her classes were littered with old friends. They made her smile and occasionally laugh but she still managed to keep her focus. She completely forgot what it was like to have people she actually liked in her classes.

At lunch she sat next to Sasha and Armin while Ymir and Christa sat next to him. Sasha constantly pestered her for her food while Jean, Marco and Connie sat across from them. Jean acted weirdly towards Mikasa but she didn't take it too personally as she had the rest of their friends to converse with.

"Hey!" A voice came crashing in like an asteroid hitting an ant. Mikasa grimaced inwardly and winced slightly as her mind came crashing back. She scolded herself mentally for forgetting completely about Reiner and them and ate more fiercely.

As she remained silent the others greeted the voice and shared some laughs up until Reiner decided to press a but harder.

"Sorry we never got to catch up, Mikasa." The voice came once more and her eyes slowly lifted from her food. Her fork dropped to her tray and she placed a small grin on her face as their eyes met .

"It's okay, we have all year," Mikasa responded calmly as her fingers laced the end of her scarf.

"Yeah, but our last year," he said with disappointment in his voice. "You'll have to come over sometime and hang out with me, Annie and Bert."

"I agree." She lied coherently once more. Mikasa was curious as to why Reiner was so persistent in wanting to torture her so badly but she went along with it.

"Great! Have Eren call us." He flashed his signature warm grin before waving and heading into the sea of high schoolers. Mikasa followed him with her eyes as she slowly became lost in thought until she came to a conclusion-

"Hey, the bell's going to ring soon." Armin snapped her out of her trance and set a hand on her shoulder. Mikasa turned towards him as he spoke and found worry buried deep in his eyes. What's wrong? She could almost hear him ask her.

Her silence that followed ushered him to speak even further. "We have the next three classes together? So let's get going, okay?" His mouth twitched up into a grin and now she was sure that Armin really was wondering, but she remained quiet and nodded.

"Sooo.. You're not going to finish that?" Sasha raised a curious eyebrow as she leaned up against Mikasa a bit too closely. Mikasa blinked and shook her head.

"It's yours." Sasha cheered with satisfaction and indulged herself without hesitation as Mikasa got up with Armin.

Leading up to gym things were pretty uneventful but Mikasa didn't mind, she needed to save her energy for that class anyways. Plus, it was the only class that she had with all of her friends.

Them all being seniors more was expected of them, and that statement was especially true in gym. Their gym teacher was short, angry-looking and clad in a white button-up shirt and dress pants. He didn't look as though he was really gym teacher material but at least looked to be in good shape.

He had the entire class stand outside on the track in a line in the heat, all facing him as if he were a military general. "I am Levi," he introduced himself with more apathy than expected. "But you all will call me Rivaille." The moment his eyes shot up from the keyboard, everyone knew to be terrified.

Sasha and Connie both trembled but kept up stupid grins while Marco and Jean merely exchanged fearful looks and hard swallows with Reiner and Bert following suit. Mikasa kept a straight face as Ymir and Christa did, and Armin tried his best to as well but his eyebrows couldn't help but tremble.

"Now I will take attendance and for every missing student I will add that many laps multiplied by ten," Rivaille decreed.

"L-Laps? On the first day?" Sasha asked while rubbing her neck. Levi merely had to glance towards her before she jumped back to attention and gulped. There would be no questioning in this class.

Rivaille continued to call out the attendance. Eren was missing of course so there was ten laps, but apparently he wasn't the only one.

"Annie Leonhardt," Rivalle called out once more and was sure to be much louder. No response. "Okay, ten more-"

"Sir," Reiner interrupted just as Rivalle placed the tip of his own to the clipboard. "Look." He then pointed towards the doors which were at least a hundred yards behind Levi.

Rivaille sharply turned towards the door just as they opened. Out came the pasty blonde who was clad in her usual white sweatshirt and black shorts that went down to her mid-thighs.

Annie ran quickly out to the track but her presence didn't fathom Mikasa for once. An obsession that may just all be in your head is unhealthy, which is what Mikasa finally came to at lunch. And if she can somehow get over this stupid unspoken rivalry, great. But if Leonhardt does choose to light sparks, Mikasa decided that she would make sure that she would get burned somehow. For the sake of Eren, but this is only what she told herself.

Deep down she... She couldn't put her finger on it but. Well, rather she knew that really-

"Ackerman!" Rivaille growled. "Why don't you go join Leonhardt with some extra running after class to clear your head?"

Mikasa instantly stood at attention and nodded solemnly. "Yes, Rivaille." She sounded like a drone but she knew there were no negotiations with him.

"Good, now everyone get running! I expect ten laps in the next fifteen minutes, now go!" Rivaille sounded like a drill sergeant but it worked; the entire class took off. That was one way to get teenagers motivated Mikasa assumed.

Mikasa was supposedly the first to finish with five minutes left to spare. She panted as she jogged up to Rivaille who pointed her towards the field to the right of the track near instantly.

"Go practice with Leonhardt while everyone else finishes. Our first unit will be soccer," he said monotonously. Annie was already done? Mikasa wondered if she was getting out of shape if she came in that far behind.

After a moment Rivaille's eyes slowly drifted up from his clipboard, meeting Mikasa's for a moment. She proceeded to give a quick nod before running over to the field. Mikasa wasn't really expecting it but Annie was practicing. From what Armin had told her Annie skipped out on gym the most, and when she did show up she'd find ways to avoid the activity without going noticed. That's one thing that's changed, Mikasa silently thought as she neared the field. Annie always loved physical activities, especially sports. Or rather, especially soccer.

"Annie," Mikasa called as she slowly came to a stop a few feet in front of Annie. Annie seemed in her own world at the time and constantly kicked the ball into the air before hitting it with her head, knees and chest without it ever touching the ground.

She didn't seem to hear Mikasa, or maybe she just didn't care. Mikasa didn't really mind and stood still, her eyes following the ball like a ghost. Things were fine, she was fine with just watching until the ball came flying at her abdomen at an alarming speed.

It caught Mikasa off-guard but she managed to at least hold her hands out. She caught it just barely but her stomach absorbed much of the impact. Mikasa winced but she assumed that she was holding back; she knew very well that Annie could have her on her back right now if she wanted to.

"Handball." Mikasa looked up and found that Annie was staring with that same uncaring look in her eyes.

"Not if I'm the goalie," she remarked finally as she dropped the ball. It rolled towards Annie as if beckoning for her to try again.

Annie's stare changed and their gazes clashed. Mikasa recognized these eyes more than any other and truthfully she liked these eyes more than any other. Annie's eyes read "I'm going to cut out your tongue and eat it", or that's how Mikasa would describe it in their younger days. The flame was back.

Mikasa near smirked as her stance widened and she held her hands out in front of her. The ball continued to slowly roll towards Annie as their eyes stayed in a fierce lock.

Slowly she paced back as the ball came to a stop when in an instant she darted forwards. Her foot cut through the air sharply, .making a swooshing sound before connecting with the ball. It soared into the air one foot, two feet, three feet... Until it was about a foot above Mikasa's. Easily Mikasa leaped into the air, her arms outstretched. The ball stung greatly as it made contact but Mikasa quickly swatted it down. It landed a few feet in front of where Annie once was and for a moment Mikasa thought she had prevailed, but this was a foolish mistake.

Annie had already began running for it and in a split second Mikasa was diving. There was no way she could recover from the jump and block the next kick at the same time at this range so instead she took the proactive route.

The two collided near instantly. Mikasa's head met Annie's stomach while the ball and Annie's foot met Mikasa's stomach. Annie let out a low grunt as she shoved Mikasa off the second she could, which was when she landed on the ground promptly.

Annie had no problems with getting her off. Not to mention, just as Mikasa guessed, Annie was scrambling to her feet for the ball. Between there was a set of rules that, despite it was unspoken since the two became rivals, existed. One of these was that winning was winning, and when someone won there was no redemption. Well, that is until the loser finally wins again.

Mikasa was scrambling to leap at Annie's foot just as it began to swing back once more. Her foot made contact with the side of Mikasa's head, causing things to go black for a moment but inertia kept her body going.

Her arms wrapped around the leg that was stabilizing Annie on the ground as the rest of her body's force caused it to buckle.

"Fuck!" Mikasa could hear Annie curse venomously under her breath. Though most of what just happened was far from proper soccer protocol, Annie knew that she'd lost. Mikasa decisively blocked and prevented her from getting a "goal".

What Mikasa wasn't expecting was for Annie to roll herself on top of her and to start punching as if she'd snapped. Mikasa pulled her arms up over her face and she could tell that the punches were half-hearted. This is degrading for yourself Annie, why are you doing this? Mikasa so badly wanted to ask her but bit her tongue instead. Not to mention she was breaking one of their most important rules; winning is winning.

Eventually the half-hearted punches grew more forceful and Mikasa had no choice. She bucked her hips and removed the arms from her face. She took a punch to the cheek but managed to grab the other incoming punch. Mikasa rolled herself on top of Annie, pinning her arm above her head.

"An-" Mikasa hardly uttered anything before was head-butted suddenly and kicked over. This kick was one that most certainly belonged to Annie Leonhardt, this time Mikasa was sure of it. She was sent rolling on the grass but managed to land on her stomach just as Annie leaped at her.

The two continued to wrestle in the same way. Annie would throw vicious punches and kicks while Mikasa tried to get her off repeatedly but Leonhardt was relentless.

The two only stopped because Rivaille had forced them to. For some reason he chose to not send them to the office but he certainly was far from happy.

"When I say Ipractice/I I mean practice passing, not grappling." Rivaille growled like a dog and eyed the two coldly. Annie and Mikasa stood facing each other with scrapes, bruises and grass-stained clothing but neither was willing to show any emotion.

"Now go run. I'll tell you when to stop," Levi ordered as he sharply turned around. He left the two on their own. Mikasa was the first to start running but she noticed Annie following closely after.

The rest of the class was gone by the time they made it to the track but this was fine. Mikasa tried her best to make some distance between her and Annie while silently wondering how she could possibly be running in a sweatshirt in this weather. This was Florida and on the summer-fall cusp. She sighed inwardly. Annie always had worn sweatshirts even when it was hot enough to fry an egg.

After an hour Mikasa was told to stop by Rivaille, just a few minutes behind Annie."You smell. Go shower," he'd tell her while pinching his nose to add emphasis. Sweat trailed down her face and she accepted gratefully while panting.

When she entered the locker room she was instantly met with steam and the sound of a shower. For the most part Mikasa ignored it and went straight for her locker. However she had to acknowledge it when she made her way over in the direction of the showers. It was an open shower area, how quaint. She had stripped naked and had nothing to hide herself with but she didn't care.

As expected Annie was already there, naked as well with her back to the wall.

The way she stood there reminded Mikasa of a corpse. Her eyes were glued to the floor as the water beat on her head. Her head. Mikasa hadn't ever recalled seeing Annie with her hair down but she tried her best to not even glance towards her.

Mikasa turned on the shower across from Annie, not wanting to be next to her. She turned her back to Annie and stared at the ground as well as even more steam clouded the room. Silently Mikasa made a list of things she needed to do when she got home to get her mind off of things. Homework, Eren, calling her parents.. She sighed quietly by accident but was sure that Annie didn't hear and if she did she didn't care.

She continued to turn slightly and reach for one of the soap dispensers on the wall after a few minutes of thought. She had to step out of the warmth slightly to press it. Water dripped from her milky skin as she did so and felt a tingle of cold.

The cold was short lived for in a moment's time she was pressed up against the wall as water pattered back down onto her form. She winced, not expecting any other "eventful" things to happen that day.

When Mikasa regained her bearings she opened her eyes slowly and met Annie's steely ones. She had her shoulders pinned to the wall and she was dangerously close.

"Why?" It was weak and frail and for a minute Mikasa had to wonder if someone else was in the room. But no, it was Annie. The flame in her eyes looked dead once more as her eyebrows trembled.

She was weak.

Mikasa could have easily shoved her off but for some reason she allowed for Annie to stay.

Neither spoke from then. Annie's gaze slowly dropped to the floor so Mikasa's did as well. As Mikasa glanced down she made note of Annie's toned form. She had definitely grown from the fourth grade.

The two remained silent and staring at the ground for several moments more. The silence was surprisingly calm and the water hitting the tiles played as the rhythm to Annie's breathing.

Mikasa could feel the sudden surge in Annie's heartbeats through her palms. Mikasa didn't know what to make of them exactly. She almost asked, but she bit it back. She wasn't meant to comfort her rival, this was a silent mutual agreement, as were many things within their relationship. One of which was broken today already, but Mikasa put that aside.

Mikasa looked up after some time and found Annie who looked far calmed despite what her pulse said. She looked to have been waiting for her. IWhat's really wrong?/I Mikasa asked silently, hoping that Annie would hear her and it wouldn't have to break their agreement.

Perhaps this was an answer, or Annie was on a different wavelength entirely. Either way, Mikasa found herself anticipating it as her eyelids slowly fluttered shut.

Their lips pressed together and it was the gentlest thing Mikasa had every experienced yet it managed to feel so raw. It was confusing; the way that rage intertwined with sadness but admittedly it gave the kiss a sense of euphoria.

At first, despite being able to sense it, Mikasa tensed and her lips remained still. She could taste the salty sweat on Annie's lips as well as something else but for some reason it didn't bother Mikasa, in fact she beckoned it.

IHer lips are soft./I This was the first thing that came to Mikasa's mind, though she didn't know what to do.

Kissing her rival; was this against their agreements? As she silently debated Annie had began to pull away. Mikasa could feel hurt overtaking the kiss as Annie pulled away, but Mikasa wouldn't allow it.

She kissed her with all of the passion she could muster, wanting the feeling of Annie's soft lips just a little longer just as their lips were about to leave contact. Mikasa was relieved to find that it pulled Annie back into it. If this was the only way she could comfort an enemy, she'd do it and she'd do it to the best of her ability.

Annie's hands slowly lifted their force on Mikasa's shoulder and instead ran along the slick skin of her arms as she cautiously stepped closer.

Mikasa tried her best to urge her to her hands shakily set themselves on her shoulders. Annie brought herself even closer as they tried to find a rhythm in what they were doing.

Their bodies touched and what felt like hours only lasted seconds, but neither seemed to mind.

They kissed until Mikasa's hands began to wander towards her back. As if they were in sync they both simultaneously pulled their lips and bodies away from the other's. Admittedly this was the saddest part of it all for Mikasa but they both knew it was time.

Annie continued to back towards her shower. Mikasa assumed Annie was going stay a bit longer and turned off the shower she was using. She wasn't expecting to have her first kiss that way but she wondered if that even counted as a kiss. It was comfort, the only way they could.

Mikasa tied her hair up and dressed herself before leaving with brisk. They both knew that outside of that they were to remain hostile- rivals. Whatever went on there Mikasa didn't want to think about yet she couldn't help it. She wondered why she cared so much for Annie despite when a thought she had forgotten came back to her- Admiration. She could feel herself cringe at such a thing for she knew that, even if she didn't admit it, it was something much more.

As she walked home she tried her best to get her mind off of things. She thought about how nice her chorus teacher Petra was and recalled all of the antics of the days.

Connie mistaking Armin for a girl and openly hitting on him, Sasha stealing from the teacher's lounge and Jean being sent to the office for "language".

Each of the events made Mikasa smile and she wondered how Eren would interact with their new gym teacher. She assumed that it wouldn't end well but it was a gateway for further shenanigans.

When Mikasa made it back to the Jaeger household she found that people were waiting for her. Eren's band all sat in the living room with drinks all in-hand. She was thankful that Eren looked a lot better than the previous day but she was confused.

"How could you skip out on us, Mikasa?" Reiner asked followed by a long gulp from what looked to be a beer of sorts. Mikasa raised an eyebrow and eyed him. Could Eren really get around that quickly while being at home? She assumed she had technology to thank for that.

"I, um.." Mikasa blinked and wasn't sure of what to say. Singing wasn't really something that she thought was of up-most importance.

"She has the stuff, I'm telling you!" Eren insisted as Reiner looked at him apprehensively.

"It's true," Armin added as he stepped into the room. He was clad in an apron and seemed to be doing some chores but he looked serious enough. Reiner eyed him and seemed convinced but didn't say much else.

"Why don't you sing for us?" Marco suggested after things went silent. Mikasa felt unnerved; she didn't ask for this. She hated doing most things that had to do with performance, but-

She glanced towards Eren who looked hopeful and her eyebrows furrowed. "Okay," she agreed, giving in.