Disclaimer: Touhou Project is property of Team Shanghai Alice, also known as our beloved drunk, ZUN and all other works belong to their respective owners.
For those curious I reuploaded the entirety of the first arc with improved grammar and spelling.
...that and a major edit to a plot point starting in Stage 3.
If this is your first time reading this fanfic, pay the previous message no mind.
All Hail ZUN!
Enjoy!
Fun With Numbers Arc
Stage 1: Of School and Spellcards
Reimu lazily rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as an annoying ringing sound woke her from her peaceful slumber. Not wanting the sound to continue any further, she reached over to her right, grabbed her gohei and slammed it down onto the source of the ringing. The sound not stopping, Reimu grumbled as to how her supposedly indestructible gohei couldn't silence the perpetrator of the ringing noise. Looking at her right hand she saw why her choice melee weapon did absolutely nothing.
She was holding a pillow instead of her gohei.
Understandably pissed that Suika had probably taken her gohei for fun, Reimu's eyes shot wide open as she scanned the room to see if the perma-plastered loli oni was anywhere in sight. In an act that defied human physiology and anatomy, Reimu's eyes went even wider at the sight before her.
Gone was the spartan room that contained only a comfortable futon and her gohei. Instead, it was replaced with a room more 'Western' in appearance, if those Outsiders were to be believed. Her tatami mats were all but gone, leaving only a laminated hardwood floor beneath her. When did she laminate the floors anyway? Her futon was replaced by a Western style bed complete with sheets and blankets in her trademark red and white color scheme. Beside the head of the bed was a simple wooden nightstand that doubled as a cabinet upon which the ringing object, an alarm clock, rested. She tilted her head to the side in confusion as to why she had an alarm clock in the first place.
With a sigh of resignation, Reimu got out of bed and muttered to herself, "An Incident involving spontaneous overnight renovation, huh? Well, at least a youkai whose ability is to renovate can't be all that hard to take down...Just got to-"
"Ya~hoo! Morning, Rei-chan~! Rise and shine sleepy head~!" greeted the cheerful voice of a certain kleptomaniac witch. Reimu was about to, as rudely as she could, tell the thieving bitch to a) get the hell out of her room and b) get the fuck off her property when a new development caught her attention.
"A youkai whose ability is to turn any outfit into a sailor's uniform...?" Reimu wondered to herself before shaking in fear. "Such an abomination must it be if it can induce fan service at will...As if dealing with Shameimaru when trying to get panty shots for the Outsiders wasn't bad enough...Oh wait, I wear bloomers. Enh, everyone else's problem."
"Man...This is the most serious I've seen you with your shrine maiden duties, ze" Marisa offhandedly commented while Reimu kept talking to herself. "It's all good though, youkai don't even exist. Ah, that's right; I almost forgot why I came here!"
"And what, pray tell, did you come in for if it involved breaking into private property?" Reimu asked Marisa, barely concealing her building annoyance towards the now sailor uniform wearing witch.
"That you're running late for school," Marisa explained before adding, "And what do you mean 'breaking in'? You gave me spare keys to your house in case you ever slept in, ze."
Growing increasingly annoyed at the witch's admittedly good attempt at lying, Reimu said to her, "Let me tell you a few things wrong with your explanation. One, I don't go to school; I laze around the shrine grounds until something annoying requires my immediate attention. Two, I'm not stupid enough to give a thieving bitch like you keys to my house so you can steal my stuff any time you want. Three, 'Youkai don't exist'? What? Did Cirno convince you to go eat some magic mushrooms you two found in the Forest of Magic or something?"
"Whoa...That's it, I'm calling your mom and getting her to take you to a hospital, ze" Marisa said as she pulled out a cellphone and looked up Reimu's mother in her phone's directory.
"My mom is dead, Marisa..." Reimu said to the witch in a quiet voice.
"I know that; I meant your stepmom, Yakumo-san, silly."
"Yakumo-san...?" repeated Reimu as if Marisa would simply say she was just joking.
Marisa didn't.
"Yeah, Yukari Yakumo-san. She's legally registered as your stepmom and she told me to call her in case you're ever in trouble. Since you're acting disturbingly weird right now, I'm pretty sure I'm well within my rights as your best friend to call her."
Reimu's mouth hung open at the thought of Yukari being her stepmother...and Marisa proclaiming herself as her best friend. The former unnerved her the most though the latter was a close second. "Marisa, can you get me something to kill myself with? A length of rope or a kitchen knife should suffice. I just want this nightmare done and over with..."
Marisa ignored Reimu's pleas to assist her in suicide and proceeded to talk to Reimu's stepmother. "Morning, Yakumo-san~! Can you come over to Reimu's place and help me out? She's acting all weird again."
"Fu fu fu, silly Rei-chan~! What is it this time? Has she been reading too many mangas again? Or maybe she's obsessing over a new video game?" Yukari asked Marisa.
"She thinks youkai and magic are real, I'm a thieving bitch and that skipping school is perfectly fine," Marisa answered, "Oh and she wants me to help her commit suicide...Something about you being her mom...?"
"Oh dear...That does sound rather serious...Perhaps I should cut back on the playful teasing...Anyway, do you still have that Taser I gave you?" Yukari asked in reply.
"Yep. Permission to use Taser?"
"Permission granted~. Try to make sure Rei-chan doesn't hurt herself~!"
Reimu worriedly glanced at Marisa who was holding a Taser in her hands and letting it crackle. Truth be told, Reimu had no idea what a Taser was or what it does, but common sense dictates that anything capable of discharging an electrical charge is not to be trifled with.
"H-hey...What do you think you're doing with that contraption?" Reimu worriedly asked. She tried to take her mind off things by cursing Eirin or Kourin for letting Marisa get a hold of such a machine. As if her mini-hakkero wasn't bad enough...
"It'll sting a little, but you'll be safer this way, ze." Reimu swore at herself for not leaping out of bed right away and trying to get her gohei back from Suika...Assuming the perpetually inebriated loli oni did have it.
Marisa gave Reimu no chance to counter whatsoever as she leapt on top of Reimu and held her down before jabbing the Taser at Reimu's neck. Reimu's body convulsed in response and she felt herself starting to lose consciousness. As her vision faded to black, Reimu saw Marisa mouthing 'I'm sorry, ze' and plastering a smile on her face as if she had just performed a great act of kindness.
And Reimu once again found herself dreaming.
This time she dreamt of youkai who could renovate houses and turn all outfits into sailor uniforms and Marisa doing naughty things with that 'Taser' she didn't even think was possible.
How she wished Marisa would have just killed her instead so she could wake up from this horrible dual nightmare...
-Border of Reality-
Reimu once again sleepily opened her eyes and found herself bewildered by the sight before her. Sitting beside her bed, stethoscope in hand, was none other than Eirin the Lunarian. From what she could see, it would seem that Eirin had finally legitimized her occupation as a doctor. The Lunarian doctor was busy taking her vital signs, likely checking to see if she had a fever or some other illness. The fact that a look of perpetual confusion graced the face of the Lunarian was enough proof for Reimu that she was in perfect health...But if that were the case then why would Eirin be concerned about her health in the first place? Did Yukari make her?
"Odd...She doesn't seem to be ill and there's nothing to suggest that she's been drugged..." the Lunarian said to conclude her diagnosis, "Although, just to be sure, I'll take these blood samples back to the lab to be analyzed. It's entirely possible she's been exposed to some kind of chemical, intentionally or not, that I have no knowledge of."
"Any other suggestions, Dr. Yagokoro?" Yukari asked the Lunarian. Reimu's head instantly turned to glare at the gap hag who was in her room uninvited.
"The possibility that the problem might be neurological or psychological in nature can't be dismissed...My old student, Dr. Inaba, is a neurologist so should the need ever arise I can set Hakurei-san with an appointment with her, even on short notice. As for a psychiatrist, Satori Komeji-san is your best bet" Eirin said in reply.
"Thank you very much, Dr. Yagokoro," thanked Yukari, "Although I'm surprised you were able to make a house call. Kaguya not being too much of a handful these days?"
"Mercifully, yes, she hasn't been a pain in the ass," Eirin replied just as she noticed a lewd look on Yukari's face. "NO! We're not like that! Geez, Yukari-chan, you haven't changed at all since middle school...Don't you think it's about time you grew up?"
"Heaven's no! You only get to live once and I'm still as youthful as ever, both in mind and in body~!" Yukari answered making sure to exaggerate the motion of her...uhm...assets.
"I curse the scientific miracle that has allowed you to keep your youth every waking moment of my life since I've met you..." Eirin said as she brought her palm to her face. Reimu didn't know it, but while Yukari looked to be in her early twenties, she was in actuality almost fifty. Yukari's youth could truly qualify as a scientific miracle...or magic. Either way the result was a Yukari who looked young enough to be either Reimu's or Marisa's older sister rather than stepmother and guardian respectfully.
"Oh come now, Eirin-chan~! I still remember when you used to be a flat-chested tsundere sporting twin tails. Look at you now! I'm surprised you haven't found a man for yourself yet~...Or perhaps Kaguya is all you need...~?"
"...I'm leaving now before I violate the Hippocratic Oath I swore to uphold as a medical professional. Since Yukari-chan kindly sidetracked us, Kirisame-san, don't hesitate to call if Hakurei-san's condition does not improve or if it changes."
"You betcha, Yagokoro-sensei! So is Rei-chan fine to go to school?" inquired Marisa.
"Her adamant delusions aside, yes, she's fit enough to attend school. Do keep her on a tight leash though...Figuratively speaking that is; don't get any kinky ideas...Yukari-chan is already a bad enough influence on you..." With those final words of wisdom Eirin was sure was gonna be ignored, she picked up her belongings, bowed and left.
Reimu, not being under Eirin's care any longer, got up out of bed to go eat break-
"Wah~! What do you think you're doing, you kleptomaniac bitch?"
...or get stripped by Marisa...Apparently that has a higher priority than eating...
"You're obviously out of it so I'm gonna be helping you get changed!" proclaimed the witch before addressing Yukari. "Yakumo-san, can you get me Rei-chan's uniform?"
"Aww...But I wanted to make up her-"
"...bentos are in the fridge. There's enough there for all three of us. I made sure to make use of the time Rei-chan spent sleeping to make us something to eat. Speaking of, why do you keep your fridge full if you only make enough for single servings?" Marisa asked the shrine maiden.
"Because I'm too lazy to constantly restock my fridge" Reimu replied deadpan. She didn't actually know why she did, or rather why 'Rei-chan' does. "Anyway, both of you get out. I need some time to get my bearings..."
Picking up on Reimu's serious tone of voice, the pair of blondes merely shrugged and complied. Once both of them were out of her room, Reimu proceeded to finish the task that the witch started. She rummaged through her dressers to find a uniform that matched Marisa's own. After a couple minutes and a pile of clothes later, Reimu found said outfit hanging in her closet. She proceeded to change easily into it as it was rather similar to her own customized shrine maiden outfit she normally wore. One thing that displeased her was the lack of bloomers in her repertoire of clothes. Instead she made use of a pair of shorts as a convenient substitute. Reimu made sure to remind herself to shop for some as soon as school was over. After cleaning herself up a little, she finally walked out of her home where she was greeted by Marisa.
"Here, this one is for you" Marisa said as she handed a bento to Reimu.
"Didn't know you could cook."
"You never asked, ze."
"Hmm, I have a theory as to why you think I'm acting so weird, but first I need you to answer something..." began Reimu.
"Shoot, ze."
"Has the shrine always looked this...perfect?" Reimu glanced back at the shrine and found it was in pristine condition, not at all like how her shrine normally was; except that one time after the Scarlet Weather Rhapsody Incident, but even that didn't last long...
"I remember back when it used to look like a dump, but when you're parents, and I mean your biological ones, started running the place, the condition gradually improved. Yakumo-san certainly helped in that she personally funds the shrine."
"Hmm, guess I'm not Reimu Hakurei then-"
"Woman, you be acting crazy again-!"
"...not the Reimu Hakurei you know at least. And you definitely aren't the Marisa I know...when it comes to stealing anyway."
"So, like, what? You from an alternate universe where magic and youkai are real?" Marisa asked skeptically though her voice betrayed some curiosity and awe.
"Pretty much. Watch." Reimu focused, noting it was much harder to do so than usual, and began to fly around freely which spooked Marisa to say the least.
"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU, SATAN!" Marisa yelled out while making a cross with her index fingers.
After finishing her display, Reimu gracefully landed beside Marisa and told her, "Of all the incantations I've ever heard, that one probably has the least effect on me. I'm a shrine maiden, remember? A holy representative of the shrine's deity?"
"You got some ofudas or charms I can use then?"
"Because something powered by my own power would be more effective on me" Reimu replied sarcastically before rolling her eyes.
"Alright, alright...I get it...You're not Rei-chan..."
"Good. Now please do shut-"
"I'm calling you Rei-nyan instead~!"
"Why? Because I'm an alternate universe version of your friend?"
"Your ribbon looks like cat ears. Don't tell me you've never noticed, ze?"
"Truly I tell you those Outsiders are responsible for all those weird rumors back home..." Reimu said as she shook her head.
"So how much do you remember about school?" Marisa asked to shift their conversation to something mundane.
"I'm not sure about protocols and how I should act towards others, but I'm not stupid by any stretch of the imagination. Though I'm fairly certain I'll struggle through History..."
"Well then, good thing you have me as your friend!"
"You are a hard worker...I'll give you that. I figure you must be fairly bright at least."
"Second highest test scores in class~!" boasted Marisa. Reimu wondered who had the highest when Marisa answered that question for her. "Naturally, being the lazy smartass you usually are, you have the highest test scores in our class."
"Naturally" repeated Reimu. She never realized it until now just how often Marisa played second fiddle to her. Was it because she had trapped her in her shadow or was it because, as both her friend and rival, she was reliant upon Reimu's success to try and one up her? She pondered it carefully and gave a thoughtful hum when Marisa snapped her out of her reverie.
"Anything else you want to know, ze?"
"I'm going to list the names of some people. Tell me if you recognize them..."
"Go ahead."
"Rinnosuke Morichika."
"Currently studying archaeology at the local university and owner of the antiques/pawn shop called 'Kourindo'. Also really good looking. Might possibly be gay."
"Too much information...Sanae Kochiya."
"Kochiya-senpai is a year ahead of us at our school and is the shrine maiden of the city's only other Shinto shrine, Moriya Shrine. Really popular with the guys; even more popular with certain girls due to...uh...certain family circumstances..."
"Okay...? Fujiwara no Mokou."
"Don't you mean Mokou Fujiwara?"
"Just answer..."
"Fujiwara-senpai is a year ahead of us at our school and is a well-known delinquent...Also a pyromaniac and might possibly be a lesbian if rumors about her and Kaguya are true" Marisa answered, quickly tacking on the last part as if it was pertinent to what Reimu was trying to figure out. "Anyone else?"
"No, I've got a general idea now...Along with some stuff I really didn't need to know..." Reimu responded with a glare. "Basically, everyone is more or less the same except they are completely and utterly normal."
"Didn't know homosexual relations were commonplace back on your world, ze."
"They aren't; the Outsiders think otherwise...Damn them for making me think such things are normal!"
"Huh, if that's the case, you should fit right in!" chimed Marisa.
"That says a lot..." Reimu replied after Marisa failed to realize that she had effectively said everyone in this version of Gensokyo was just as weird as their counterparts in Reimu's version of Gensokyo...Which says a lot considering most of the beings in Gensokyo are fantastical moe anthromorphications of monsters and magic users while everyone in this world was 'normal' by Gensokyo standards.
Truly Reimu was gonna be in for one hell of a time.
The two discussed further differences in order to help Reimu acclimatise to her new surroundings until they reached a bus stop. Reimu offhandedly commented that there were no buses in Gensokyo to which Marisa proposed a strangely sound theory. If the Lunarians and Kappa were so technologically advanced and everyone can fly, including the 'normal' Outsiders, then public transportation was not only redundant, but useless. To try and invent buses would not only be stupid, but it'd be a waste of time. Nevertheless, Reimu was thankful that buses do exist here as flying was simply not a viable option and walking wasn't even considered to be an option. As the two seated themselves in the bus, Reimu caught a sight of some more familiar faces.
"Waha~ and then Wriggle-chan went WHOOSH and then landed on her butt with a PLOINK. It was really funny~" Rumia explained with exaggerated hand motions and sound effects. Listening in further, Reimu noted that Rumia said all of her sound effects as words, rather than as sounds. Truly, an idiot this girl was.
"I didn't know banana peels could be so slippery," retorted an embarrassed Wriggle, "But at least you've stopped referring to me as a guy. Or a Hideoyoshi."
"My calculations are never wrong," boasted a familiar idiot ice fairy turned human child prodigy, "In order to change the misheld conception that you are a boy, it was only natural that we work on accentuating your feminine features."
"I'm still not used to wearing skirts though...Can't I at least wear bloomers?" complained the former bug youkai.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" denied Cirno with a booming authoritative voice.
Mystia, ever the voice of reason amongst idiots, said to Wriggle, "What Cirno meant to say was that only by constantly wearing skirts and panties can you ever get used to the sensation. If we let you wear bloomers and shorts again, then you'd just lapse back to wearing male clothing and letting people refer to you as a guy...Unless you prefer it that way?"
"Urk...I guess you're right...I've had it with all the girls who keep confessing to me thinking I'm some really cute guy..." Wriggle confirmed that she was in this for the long haul whether she liked it or not.
"And you look so cute in the female uniform~. It's only a matter of time before you start catching the eyes of the boys in the class~!" Cirno's unnamed best friend said to boost Wriggle's morale.
"Waha~ like this WHOOSH!" Rumia exclaimed before lifting up Wriggle's skirt ever so slightly which caught the attention of more than a few males on the bus. The former bug youkai quickly retained her dignity by holding down her skirt against Rumia's attempts. Reimu could only massage her temples to quell the growing headache their little group's idiocy was inducing while Marisa laughed and said how nice it'd be to be young again.
The commotion Team 9 caused certainly reinforced Reimu's belief that, foreign as this world was, it shared a lot of similarities with her own world. Except for one glaring exception.
A literal glaring exception.
The idiot ice fairy whose goofy grin and short cyan hair made her look tomboyish? Now she looked like a real feminine beauty, her cyan hair cascading halfway down her back and donning a pair of classy, white framed glasses. Gone was her goofy grin and instead it was replaced by a sometimes cute smile and other times a look of utter contempt. Reimu wondered to herself why Cirno, now a beautiful genius it would seem, would still hang out with her idiotic loser friends.
"You there, red-white!" Cirno yelled out to Reimu, "You were insulting my friends and I weren't you?"
"Relax, Cirno-san, Reimu was doing nothing-"
"Oh, so you noticed? You're definitely a lot cleverer than I remembered you being...idiot."
None too pleased, Cirno grabbed Reimu by her blouse with more force than Reimu expected. "Keep insulting my friends and I'll show you how creative I can get with liquid nitrogen."
Both girls were about ready to escalate into a fist fight when both of them collapsed to the floor of the bus, stunned.
"Two is so much better than one~!" Marisa said as she let both of her Tasers crackle. Cirno's friends came to her defense only for Marisa to apologize and explain that Reimu was a little...off, to say the least. Her friends accepted her apology and made off with Cirno.
"That was a big no-no, Rei-nyan," playfully scolded Marisa, "Sometimes it's better, if not easier, to solve problems with choice words rather than force. Remember, while you're in our world, you play by our rules, not yours."
Reimu scoffed, or rather tried to, at the idea of Marisa talking her problems out. Back home she stole, as with most things, a page from Yuka's book on conflict resolution, namely the appropriately named Master Spark. As with other aspects of this new world she found herself in, Reimu was brutally reminded that while some things were the same, others weren't. In this particular scenario she made two mistakes. One, forgetting that while this Marisa did not have a mini-hakkero she did have Tasers and not just one, but two...possibly more. Two, whether she was an idiot or genius, Cirno's fuse for her temper was short and, by some unfortunate twist of Fate, she retained some method of attempting to freeze her.
Truly, Reimu was in for one hell of a time.
The remainder of the bus ride was spent in silence...for Reimu that is. Still somewhat stunned after the stunt Marisa pulled off, she didn't really have many options available to her other than to watch other students that apparently attended her school. She saw some familiar faces like Sanae and Mokou along with some others she didn't recognize, the majority of whom were male. By the time Reimu and Marisa had reached the school, both Reimu and Cirno were no longer stunned. Cirno was pressured into apologizing for picking a fight with their senpais by her friends and proceeded to do so, albeit reluctantly. Reimu apologized as well under Marisa's threat of double tasing her. Reimu cursed whatever deity out there thought it would be a prudent idea to give, not one, but two, weapons of mass destruction to Marisa. Reimu palmed her face at how this world seemed to give her as much trouble as her own even without magic or the like.
Disembarking, Reimu saw even more familiar faces. Some stood out more than others, like Remilia's face bearing that eternally haughty expression and Sakuya's calm, serene expression. And of course some stood out for other reasons aside from facial expressions like certain hair decorations, hats or by all means impossible natural hair colors in this 'normal' world. One stood out in particular though and not for any of the aforementioned reasons.
To be precise, this particular face was charging full speed towards Marisa.
"Onee-sama~!" greeted a certain blonde haired psychotic vampire child.
The young girl effectively glomped onto Marisa and showed no signs of letting go. This, of course, was worrying for Reimu as she wasn't sure what to make of the two. Were they, as Flandre stated, sisters, at least in title? Perhaps lovers? Reimu shook that last thought out of her head. Marisa had been more open to same sex relationships than Reimu, but to have one with a younger girl? Even Marisa had her morals.
"Morning, Flan-chan. How are you doing today?" Marisa asked Flandre.
"Hey, hey, Onee-sama, who's she~?" Flandre asked, ignoring Marisa's greeting.
"Oh? I haven't introduced Hakurei-san to you yet?" Marisa asked more to herself than Flandre.
Not that that stopped Flandre from sating her curiosity.
"Hey, hey, you're still gonna play with me, right, Onee-sama?" Marisa could tell that Flandre was starting to go into Clingy Mode. Long story short, Clingy Mode is what happens when Flandre's yandere side comes out. To stay this state of Flandre's mind was dangerous would be a grave understatement.
"Of course she will; right, Kirisame-san?"
Saving Reimu from certain doom was none other than Hong Meiling. From the clothes she was wearing, namely a black form-fitting suit trimmed with green, she obviously wasn't a student and was probably as old as she looks. She knelt down to Flandre's level and started tickling her. Flandre initially remained resolute in her desire to remain latched onto her 'Onee-sama' and kept herself from laughing. Little by little she began to succumb to Meiling's assault until she was rolling on the ground howling in laughter.
Marisa picked her up and helped her tidy herself. "You bet I will! But right now you have to go to class; you still remember our deal…right?"
"'If I don't score an A on all my tests then you won't let me come over on the weekends and play with you'; see, I remember, Onee-sama~! I remember everything Onee-sama tells me!"
Ruffling her hair, Marisa told her, "Now get to your class! Wouldn't want to be late now."
With a grin brighter than the morning sun, Flandre sped off towards the school. Reimu didn't find it surprising that her friends turned out to be Cirno's group of idiots. As soon as Flandre was out of sight though, the gentle smile on Meiling's face was replaced by a cold, emotionless stare. Reaching into her suit jacket's pocket, Meiling took out a thick envelope and gave it to Marisa. Marisa attempted to give it back to Meiling, but Meiling had already walked away and disappeared.
"…what was that about? China is usually more…hot blooded" noted Reimu as she looked at the envelope in Marisa's hand.
"As far as the Scarlet family is concerned, I'm Flandre's caretaker and as such they find it necessary to pay me a fair wage" Marisa answered with a deathly serious, mature tone of voice Reimu had never heard from her Marisa. "So their daughter is only worth 1.2 million yen to them, huh…Fucking pathetic."
"You want to be paid more? That's more like the Marisa I know."
Marisa turned around to face Reimu before punching her in the gut. Reimu had fought others in hand to hand combat before, but the force this 'normal' Marisa had behind her punch was absolutely demonic. Reimu knew that given her current condition, wheezing and struggling to breath, she had pushed the wrong button.
"Flandre is priceless, understand? Why can't they see how blessed they are to have such an amazing daughter?" Marisa screamed out. She caught the attention of several students only for them to scurry away when they saw her face. "Please forget everything you've heard and seen; this is none of your business. I'll see you in class…"
As if Reimu could forget being suckered punch in the gut.
~Border of Fantasy~
Reimu woke up in a room much different from her own. She had recently changed the layout of her room on a whim, opting for a more Western appearance; taking everything out of the room, save for a futon and gohei, was not part of her renovation. Still unsteady on her feet due to being groggy, Reimu made her way to a nearby closet to get something besides a camisole and bloomers to wear. She quickly found that the closet was just as Spartan as the room, only three sets of clothes held within. She chose the most 'normal' looking of the three (the other two outfits were a simple red and white kimono and…lace undergarments?) and changed into it.
"What a weird dream…"
She walked around the shrine, distressed at the horrid condition of it all. She could understand weathering and damage due to aging; structural failure due to rotting wood? Not so much. Strangely overcome by the desire to eat even though she was dreaming, Reimu made her way over to the kitchen. Upon entering she spotted her friend Marisa who, for some reason, was cosplaying as some kind of witch.
"Marisa, I didn't know you cosplay…I don't recognize that character though…"
"Cos…play? The hell are you talking about, ze? I always wear this," Marisa replied, "You alright, Reimu?"
"…you haven't called me that in ages."
"What? By 'Reimu'? I remember calling you by that yesterday and the day before that and the day-"
"Ok, ok, I get it…This is weird…Is this a dream?"
"Fu fu fu…How exciting…Marisa dear, it would seem we have a very special guest~."
Marisa whirled about to see Yukari poking her head out of a gap upside down from the ceiling. While Marisa wasn't surprised by the sight, common as it was, the dimensionally displaced Reimu was. Reimu did not yelp nor scream in terror at the sight; she merely looked at Yukari with a blank look on her face.
For her part, Yukari smiled and titled her head slightly to the side.
"Screw weird, you have to tell me how you can do that!" Reimu blurted out after a few moments of silence.
"Oh I'm so happy an Outsider has taken an interest in me~! Come, Reimu, I have much to teach you~!" cheerfully cried Yukari as she attempted to spirit away Reimu.
"What the hell did you do to Reimu, ze?" Marisa angrily yelled out as she kept Reimu from walking into a gap Yukari created for her.
"But this isn't Reimu…Not our beloved shrine maiden Reimu anyway" Yukari retorted with a childish pout on her face.
"I don't know about 'beloved'," Marisa said as she rolled her eyes at the thought of anyone, Yukari aside, taking a liking to Reimu, "But I'm pretty sure this is Reimu; who else could she possibly be anyway?"
"Reimu…Outsider Reimu that is~!" Yukari cried out as she continued her attempts at spiriting away Reimu.
"So where's our Reimu then?" a frustrated Marisa asked Yukari.
"Don't look at me. This is as much a surprise for me as it is for you…a very pleasant and welcome surprise~!"
"What the hell! You're the overseer of the Great Hakurei Boundary! How the hell can you not know when someone from either side passes it?"
"Oh, I don't know…Maybe because they didn't" Yukari replied making sure that the last bit was emphasized.
"…WHAT. THE. FUCK.," Marisa said at her wits' end, no longer even trying to comprehend anything else that came out of Yukari's mouth. "…Fine! Bring her along with you, but I'm coming with; there's no way in hell I'm leaving a defenseless Outsider, especially Reimu's outside world counterpart, alone with you."
Yukari reluctantly agreed and let Marisa pass through the gap along with Reimu before muttering,
"…Stupid lesbian witch…Is your harem not enough for you…?"
"Goddamn it! For the last time, I'm not a lesbian! Why can't I have close female friends without people immediately thinking I'm in love with them?" cried out a frustrated Marisa.
~Border of Fantasy~
"…So then, did you understand everything I taught you?" Marisa asked Reimu.
"Pretty much," replied Reimu, "By the way, thanks for letting me stay at your house."
"We can't have you hanging around the shrine. It's one of the first places people go to if there's an Incident and that's only because they want Reimu, our Reimu, to fix things" Marisa explained.
"Ok, so correct me if I'm wrong…"
"Go on, ze."
"The people of Gensokyo fight using the Spellcard Duelling System. It's a non-lethal form (usually) of magical duelling used to resolve problems. This is to ensure that the participants are on equal playing fields regardless of who or what they are; it also conveniently keeps casualties to a bare minimum (though property damage is still pretty high)."
"Huh…You learn fast, ze…Ah, sorry, I interrupted you!" commented Marisa before letting Reimu continued.
"Oh it's alright. Anyway…Rather than casting the usual magic or using some kind of inherent ability, Spellcards are used instead. Spellcards act as a medium through which one can attack or defend without endangering the life of another. There are two ways to defeat another person's Spellcard. One way is to break it by causing the Spellcard's user to lose their focus making them unable to sustain the Spellcard. The other way is to 'survive' where one, following the specific rules laid out beforehand, avoids getting hit long enough to outlast the duration of the Spellcard."
"Good, you got the theory down, ze…How about some simple practice, ze?" Marisa suggested as she pulled out three of her Spellcards.
"No holding back this time" Reimu said as she took out three of her own Spellcards.
"First person to be hit directly five times loses," stated Marisa as she flew up into the sky, "Any objections?"
Reimu replied by flying up to where Marisa was and nodded her confirmation. While Reimu had been taught by Marisa how to fly (something that amused her to no end) and the basics of Spellcard duels, she had only had two occasions of actual practice. The first time was against Marisa who was just trying to give Reimu a feel for it and the second time was against Yukari, her Shikigami and her Shikigami's Shikigami who were teaching her about spatial awareness. She had lost both duels naturally, but that didn't change the fact that she had as much potential as her counterpart from Gensokyo.
Marisa got down to business right away and charged at Reimu. Reimu easily evaded it by flying off to the side, but she kept a careful eye on the trail of magical, star-shaped projectiles heading towards her. Rather than just focusing on the nearest projectiles, Reimu tried to get the 'bigger picture', as Yukari put it. She quickly identified the trajectories of many of the projectiles and planned a path through it. Marisa was surprised at how quickly Reimu was improving since Reimu was easily flying through her cloud of star danmaku with relative ease. Marisa wasn't one to just stand around and watch her opponent though. She called forth a quartet of magic circles to fire a dozen magic 'missiles' at her student. The missiles flew straight and true, striking their target and detonating into an explosion of green star danmaku.
"First hi- What the?"
This was Marisa's reaction when she realized that Reimu, of all people, had gapped right behind her without Yukari's help. Reimu retaliated by calling forth a quartet of familiars in the form of ethereal demonic eyes which fired a relentless barrage of lasers at the witch. Marisa quickly got her broom (which, oddly enough, isn't even responsible for her flight capabilities) up to dogfight speeds and began grazing the lasers. Realizing that firing at Marisa from a static position probably wasn't the best idea, Reimu and her familiars fly after the evasive witch. Reimu took advantage of the fact that her familiar didn't have to be anywhere near her to be controlled and so she used them to fire a barrage of large orb danmaku, forming a crossfire. The point behind it was to slow down Marisa by preventing her from flying in a straight line which was the fastest way to reach one's destination. Meanwhile, Reimu tailed Marisa from a slightly higher elevation where she fired off a few homing lasers to further slow the nimble witch. In a desperate attempt to shake the familiars off, Marisa pulled straight up and stopped flying. This allowed her to quickly fall past the pursuing familiars and their barrage, but it had an unfortunate consequence.
"Fantasy Sign 'Fantasy Seal -Pursuit-'!" cried out Reimu.
Her familiars exploded in a burst of rainbow light before each of them turned into seven lasers. Marisa once again found herself being pursued only this time Reimu's lasers were more like their outside world counterparts in that they were moving much faster than most danmaku; even Youmu or Aya would be hard-pressed to outrun them. Rather than try and outpace Reimu's lasers, Marisa instead opted to throw out several magic bombs. The bombs acted like a defensive screen, taking the hits meant for Marisa.
Except for one.
One laser managed to weave through her defensive screen of bombs and landed a solid blow on her right shoulder. Marisa winced as the laser seemed to strike with more force than usual danmaku. She brought her hand to her shoulder to rub the sore spot only to find it wet. Bringing her hand before her, she found it was dyed red with blood; it wasn't just her hand either, but her dress as well. Seeing Marisa's startled expression, Reimu flew down to see if Marisa was alright only for her to gasp at what she had done.
"Marisa-!"
"I'm fine, it's just a flesh wound…I'll just go pester Alice or Patchouli to patch it up for me" Marisa said dismissively as she held her handkerchief to it.
Reimu would have none of it of course. She held her hand against Marisa's wound as she channeled whatever magic was at her disposal to heal the wound. Reimu's hand first glowed gold, then a sky blue before settling into an almost invisible violet hue. Marisa initially winced at the pain (this Reimu was an amateur at magic after all), but it quickly faded away and even that was replaced by a subtle feeling of pleasure. As far as Marisa was concerned it was like an injury in reverse; pain first then normalcy with the small pleasurable feeling at the end akin to a comforting mother's kiss.
"Well, I'll be damned, you can heal, ze," Marisa noted as she moved her shoulder, "Not even our Reimu is that proficient with it, ze."
"I'm so sorry! I-I must have lost control of my Spellcard…"
"It's fine…Really! It's not your-"
"…fault."
While Marisa was busy trying to console Reimu, Yukari flew out of a gap. She inspected the area where Marisa had been injured, poking and prodding it to see if Reimu's healing spell would come undone.
It didn't.
"Oh my, not even a day and you already have a grasp on basic boundary manipulation!" cheered Yukari as she held Reimu and Marisa in an embrace and nuzzled them both.
"Boundary manipulation? But she's a Hakurei!" cried out Marisa.
"Yes, but she's not one of our Hakurei. Since she lives in a world where magic is dormant, her magic is easily impressionable. If she had instead seen your Master Spark at work before my boundary manipulation, you wouldn't be here right now; you would have been slain by your own special Spellcard."
"Shouldn't Spellcard duels be non-lethal? For that matter, I shouldn't have even gotten an injury like that in the first place; only weapons and non-magical based danmaku should be able to inflict injury during a Spellcard duel" inquired Marisa whose curiosity got the better of her.
That and she wanted to forget that Yukari could grope her at any time.
…not that there's much to grope anyway…
"Her magic is as foreign to us as ours is to hers; the mere fact that her lasers weren't going at the speed of light and tearing through you and your defensive screen was proof of that" Yukari explained in a serious tone of voice.
"Then the reason you wanted to keep her out of Incidents wasn't because you were afraid for her safety…"
"…you were afraid I'd kill someone" Reimu finished in a morbid tone.
"Joking around and tagging people with harmless bursts of magic is fine, even for you, but your mind interprets Spellcard duels as battles to the death. As a result, your magic puts your safety above all else…" Yukari began.
"…and the best way to do that is to kill whatever is threatening you…" concluded Marisa.
"However, that doesn't mean I want you cooped up in the witch's house all the time fearing for other people's safety. Go out and experiment with Spellcard duels more; since this is a problem caused by one's state of mind then if you change that you won't have to worry~," encouraged Yukari, "And don't worry, witch, I'll pay for any damage that results."
"I have a name, you know," Marisa said with a sigh. "Are you sure about this though, Reimu?"
"It's fine, I have to get used to this; I might never be able to get back home and neither might your Reimu. If there's no one to maintain the Barrier and the peace around here then what?"
Marisa frowned slightly before letting her infectious grin return. "If you say you can handle it then I don't see why not!"
"I know one thing though…" Reimu said in a serious tone.
"What is it?" both blondes asked.
"Truly I'm in for one hell of a time."
Author's Notes: I've recently gotten Writer's Block trying to work further on To the Worlds Beyond! so I decided to try my hand at another piece until such a time where I can continue to work on my main fanfic at a smoother pace. This fanfic was originally supposed to be a Haruhi Suzumiya x Touhou crossover, but that idea wasn't working out so I just went with a pure Touhou fanfic. That doesn't mean there won't be shout outs and references galore since Outsiders (ie. us) are involved. If you have any questions, concerns or comments on this story simply leave a review or pm me personally. Just note that I don't log in often so I apologize ahead of time if my response isn't as hasty as you would like.
This is Daemon signing out.
...oh, mind the gap on your way out.
