NEW AUTHORS NOTE: 1/24/16: Have edited this chapter. I am sorry for the lack of posting, but now I am trying to trim up the first few chapters. Reread updated chapters! New chapters are also in the works! This is not over by far! :)
*I do not own anything regarding Stargate: Atlantis or its characters, sadly.*
The excitement of Sheppard's safe return had lasted well into the night. Everyone had been debriefed, and Sheppard had been cleared by a very jovial Dr. Beckett. Teyla hadn't left his side during the whole ordeal, trying not to show just how relieved she was. McKay had not stopped talking long enough to take a single breath, discussing possible implications of what the wraith had unexpectedly done. Weir tried her hardest to listen to McKay's prognostications without letting her eyelids slip shut. The relief had even been apparent in the behaviors of the stoic Ronon Dex, who even engaged in some surprising banter with the soldiers who had assisted them.
The entire city had now turned in. Most of the crew had been working double shifts for the past few days, all personnel committed to the safe return of their beloved Colonel. It was now well past midnight and it was like a ghost town. Teyla wanted to see about a late dinner, her appetite suddenly returning. Lani agreed to accompany her, much more out of desire to avoid the pillow and the nightmares that followed.
"Was that your first time seeing a wraith?" Teyla asked as they walked to the mess. The place was deserted, and there wasn't a soul at any of the tables.
"Well they don't exactly have archive footage of them on Earth for me to study." Said Lani as she picked up her tray with unwanted food. Teyla slid into a table with remarkable grace, and looked at her food affectionately. Lani poked at her food. She had been so hungry all day, but had no time to eat with all the events that transpired, and now she had lost her appetite. She couldn't get over the way the wraith looked at her, so scared and angry, but with a glint of hope in his yellow eyes that made her stomach churn.
"It will pass out of your mind soon, it will not last forever." Teyla said, trying to comfort her.
"No, that's just it Teyla. I will not forget; I cannot forget. Ever." Lani said tossing her fork down. Teyla looked at her with concern and interest. She raised her eyebrows, beckoning Lani to explain herself. "Teyla there is a reason I am here, and I think it's obvious that it is not because I am good with people. Have you seen me? I am not good at being a diplomat." She scoffed. "I am not delicate or subtle, so why would they put me in that position?" She paused for a brief moment, "Because I can't forget. I remember every detail of every conversation I've ever had. I remember every word a person has said to me, as well as their exact emotional response when they say it. No one can lie to me because I can see it instantly, the tiny changes in their eyes or the corners of their mouth. I have an eidetic memory." She put her hands to her eyes and pressed them hard with the tips of her fingers.
"What does that mean?" asked Teyla.
"I can remember everything I have ever seen or heard. I could recite hundreds of books, just from looking at the pages 10 years ago. I read them in my head. It is a phenomenon that is not very common, even on earth. I cannot turn it off, and I cannot ever forget the way that wraith looked into my eyes."
Teyla opened her mouth to say something, but closed it when the door to the mess hall opened. Sheppard entered with Ronon trailing behind. He was obviously peeved earlier that he wasn't allowed to kill the wraith that had given Sheppard his life back, but he seemed to have gotten over it. Sheppard plopped his tray down at their little table next to Teyla, leaving Ronon nowhere else to sit but beside Lani. He didn't even hesitate, he just plopped down and started eating, apparently not holding their earlier disagreement against her.
"I hear I have you to thank for convincing this meat-head to come after me." Sheppard said, looking directly into Lani's eyes. She gave him a small sincere smile.
"Like convincing a cat to swim." She said softly. Sheppard smiled, looking to Ronon, who shrugged.
"Thank you Dr. Sanders." Sheppard was then immediately engaged by Teyla, who had clearly been very worried about him, missed him even... Lani looked away quickly. Invading peoples privacy and minds was an unfortunate side effect of her abilities. She sat there, picking at her food, barely listening to the amiable conversation between Teyla and Sheppard. Sheppard liked to talk. Teyla liked to listen. They were a nice match. She didn't want to look at them, didn't want to see what their body language would say. She didn't want to know how much they cared about each other. Sometimes, she just wanted to mind her own business. She pressed her finger tips on her eyes again. She needed a distraction.
"So Ronon, what is there to do around here?" Lani asked, turning her head to face him, so that she couldn't see the others across the table. She wanted to give them privacy from her mind. Ronon shrugged and looked up at her.
"Anything." He said curtly. He was putting food away at an amazing rate.
"Wow. Informative. Thank you so much for that." She smiled and clicked her tongue. "Are there things to do? Like is there a gym, basketball court, swimming pool, what? I haven't really had time for the full tour yet."
"They have everything, what do you want to do, Doctor Sanders?" Ronon asked emphasizing her title with a sideways smile.
She smiled, baring her straight white teeth. "Please Mr. Dex, Lani is much more appropriate for our relationship." she cooed with fake professionalism.
"Alright, Lani." Her stomach grumbled a little, her appetite returning slightly. He seemed to engage only out of absence of anything better, but at least he was trying. That was more than could be said for most people in this city. She picked up her fork and ate a few bites.
"So. Where are things?" She said in between bites.
"This is a city." He gestured with one hand. "You have to be more specific."
"OOOkkkaaay, what about swimming?" She said. She gave him a innocent smile.
He smiled and pointed to the window, outside the waves crashed against the ancient city. She didn't look where he pointed, but her smile widened. "It's not safe to swim in the ocean right after you eat, could get a cramp. Then I might have to save you." He smiled as he looked at her through his hair. He had a small tattoo on his neck. She watched it as it danced, the muscles and tendons in his neck moving as he ate. It hypnotized her, she didn't want to look away. He was never uncertain. Even when he was wrong, he moved on. It never effected his judgement.
It was nice to have someone on this damn planet that didn't over-think every movement they made. This city was so jammed-packed with scientists and specialists that one could hardly breathe. It was like drowning to try to ignore everyone's thoughts that were plastered all over their faces. She could barely keep her head above water, and this was just the first day. She smiled when she talked to him, grateful that he wasn't demanding conversation. The tension that had been in her body all day started to melt. Ronon offered a calm place to be, an eye in the storm of her overactive brain.
"We bid you both good night." Teyla said as she and Sheppard began to stand. Lani nodded at them, but she couldn't help notice their body language regarding each other. This is what she was hoping to avoid. She saw their desires towards each other in a matter of seconds. Sheppard was hopeless at hiding his feelings toward her and most likely didn't recognize that he had them, but Teyla was masterful over her emotions. She was obviously more aware of her feelings toward him.
As the door shut behind them, she turned to Ronon, "Why aren't they… together?"
He threw her a sidelong glance, "They have no idea." He said
"Well that's not surprising."
"Why?" he said, looking more interested, turning his head to look at her.
"Maybe because they feel a great amount of camaraderie towards each other, which neither wants to jeopardize with their true feelings, and therefore it blocks their ability to see their other emotions. At least for Colonel Sheppard. "
"You got all that from one meal?" She shrugged. "Teyla's no better." He said with a smirk, resuming his meal.
"How long has it been that way between them?" Lani asked
"As long as I've been here. How'd you know all that?"
She looked up from her half-eaten food. "Oh, I'm just guessing why they're fighting their attractions. I really have no idea."
"But you knew they had them." He said.
"Well, that's kinda why Weir hired me." She said.
"Because Weir wants to know about people's feelings?" He said, raising an eyebrow. Lani had to laugh.
"In a way, I suppose that is part of it." She said with a smile, "More to know people's true intentions."
"I think McKay wants to either marry you or kill you. Those are his intentions."
"God, both those options sound equally horrid." She said with a laugh.
"Yeah, I don't blame you." He said.
She chuckled at the thought of Rodney squirming. "I was trying to get a good read on him, on Sheppard, on everybody. I have a knack for remembering things. I look at how someone responds to a situation and compare it to every situation in the future. If something is different then I know that something is wrong." He looked at her quizzically.
She took a deep breath and continued, "Once I see something, I cannot unsee it. I will always be able to remember it in vivid detail, as if it was happening again in front of my eyes. It is always like that. When I meet people for the first time I already start assessing their baseline emotional scale. That's why words just spill out of my mouth. I say inappropriate things, make sexual innuendoes and make a complete ass out of myself, all to determine how people respond to it." Lani said the words fast, like she was making a confession. "That's why I am here. To see people's lies."
Ronon didn't say anything for a few moments before saying, "Well that's gotta be rough." Nalani let out her breath and gave an exasperated laughed.
"Some images aren't too bad to have in your head forever." She said. "Some moments are so beautiful that I couldn't handle life without them." She pushed her unfinished tray away and rested her elbows on the table. "It helps push out the bad ones." She said in a quiet tone. She hung her head between her shoulders. It was strange for her to talk to someone like this that she'd just met, but it sure beat talking to herself. Ronon looked at her for a moment and then he slid her tray over to stack it on top of his own to dispose in the bin. He walked back over to where she was sitting and looked down at her slender frame.
"Want that tour?" he asked as he started towards the door. Lani hurried out the door after him. She really didn't need the tour, but she really didn't want to go to sleep yet so she let him lead her around the complex in a comfortable silence. He pointed out what things were every few minutes, but other than themselves, and a few graveyard shift personnel, the place was deserted. After about a half hour they arrived in front of her quarters.
"Thanks for the tour big guy." Lani said with a hopeful smile.
"See you tomorrow." He said.
She caught his arm as he moved to walk down the hallway. It was heavy and warm. "Wait, Ronon. Let's go swimming. Right now. Outside."
"It's dangerous in the ocean after dark." He said.
"Oh, come on you big baby!" She said with a playful smile "I'm a grand swimmer, plus I feel plenty safe with you" She said as she tugged on his arm. She didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to think about that wraith again, she didn't want to lose the peace that came with being around him. She would dream about that wraith tonight. If she let Ronon walk down that hallway to his room, her dreams would start sooner.
As soon as Ronon opened the door, she kicked off her shoes and ran down the length of the dock. She ripped her hair out of her bun as she reached the end and closed her eyes. She focused on the spray of the waves on her skin and the salty breeze twisting its way through her hair. She opened her eyes and watched as the black water broke into white as it tumbled against the side of the city. These were familiar things. Lovely things. Things that were never the same way twice. Her mind took her back to her childhood on Guam, her tiny island where she knew every rock, and every tree. When she would be overwhelmed by her stupid head, with knowing everything around her, she would run out onto the rock beaches of Umatac and close her eyes. She would feel those sensations that were different every time and breathe in that salty air and she would be home.
She stood that way for a long time, lost in her thoughts while the knots in her shoulders started to unravel. Ronon stood a few paces away looking out across the pitch black expanse of ocean before them. Suddenly she seemed to remember why they had come out here in the first place and quickly stripped down to just a grey sports bra and boy shorts. He stood there with his arms crossed when she turned, completely facing him. She gave him a come and get me look, spun on her heel and dove into the inky water.
Her face popped up a few yards from the dock in a mocking grin. "I'll swim alone if I have to, but I'd prefer some company." She yelled in a sing-song voice. She was such a sight as Ronon had ever seen. Her light brown hair turned black and shimmering, fanned out in a protective circle around her. Her olive skin had a faint glow of the lights from the city above, making her almost shine in contrast to the dark water. He kicked out of his boots and lifted his shirt over his head.
The shadows casted from the lights above them highlighted every ridge and muscle on his chest and shoulders. Lani caught her breath as his shirt fell to the ground and he reached for his pants. Unfortunately, that breathe was coupled with an unhealthy amount of Lantean ocean water. She coughed and sputtered up the water as nonchalantly as she could, but she saw the corners of his mouth turn up as he laughed at her expense. She rolled her eyes at herself as he dove in the water in her direction.
In moments his head popped up right next to her, and was bobbing up and down in the waves like a giant dreaded buoy. She looked into his eyes in the dimming light and that black ocean, and for the first time in her life, she worried that she wouldn't be able to remember their intricacies if she looked away. She came within inches of his face and put her delicate hands lightly on his shoulders.
"Lani-" He began but she cut him off pulling her body up so all her weight was on her hands and she dunked him. She frantically turned to swim away when his hand caught her foot and wrenched her back through the water towards him. He tried to push her under the water, but she was too slippery for him and wriggled free. She had grown up in the ocean and she had the upper hand, unless he caught her.
They splashed and fought untill their hands looked like prunes. She swam to the dock and pulled herself up, only to lie back on the ancient metal to look at the stars. Ronon pulled up and laid on his stomach next to her and closed his eyes. The rhythm of his muscled back moving up and down and the sound of his breath was soothing and soon her own eyelids began to droop. She focused on the feeling of the water drying on her skin in the cool evening air. They lay there in the most comfortable silence as they both drifted off to sleep.
Lani woke up shivering as the sun's glow lit up the sky as it was about to rise over the water. She propped herself up on her elbows to look over at Ronon. She couldn't help but see the crisscrossed scars on his back where he and others had tried to remove the tracking device. She reached out to trace them with her fingers, but hesitated. Instead she just hugged her knees to her chest while she looked down at his skin in the grey morning light. He was covered with little white trails where the salt water had evaporated leaving their designs tattooed on his skin. After a few minutes she reached out and poked him in the side with her big toe.
He moved so fast that she barely saw him. He lunged for her, and as his hand curled around her throat, he threw her down on her back into the pier. The anger in his eyes quickly faded as recognition took its place, mixed with panic. He immediately released her throat and picked her up by her shoulders to her previous sitting position. As forceful as he was, the whole event barely lasted a second, and Lani's mind was blank. Ronon looked at her and tried to catch her eye, but instead she just burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she almost fell off the dock. She laughed until her tears ran down her face and she could hardly breathe. Ronon was taken aback by her response and more than a little worried.
"Are you ok?" He asked concernedly.
"Oh my god!" She barely got out in between bursts of laughter. "That was better than a freaking rollercoaster!"
"What?" he said, apparently bewildered.
"I didn't even have time to be scared!" she said as she gave him in a lazy hug. "It wasn't your fault, you shouldn't poke a sleeping bear." She laughed at his shocked expression. "It's fine. I'm fine." She let go of him and popped to her feet. "Throw your clothes on you violent man, let's go get some breakfast." She said as she pulled on her pants.
