Chapter Two: Have No Fear
Edward's POV
"How, Edward?" Mom asked as she set a cup of coffee down in front of me. "How could you have let this happen?"
"I don't know, Mom." I sighed, taking a sip of the warm coffee. "Lauren and I...we're always safe. We use condoms."
"Obviously not." Carlisle rolled his eyes and Mom slapped him for it. Even though he wasn't my biological father, he was the best man I ever knew. I was really glad my Mom found him after my asshole biological father was killed in a car accident on a weekend getaway with his secretary.
Fucking ass.
"Dad, I swear." I whispered. I knew they'd be disappointed in me. I was their idiot son who'd managed to get his girlfriend pregnant within only a few months of dating. Lauren and I met at the end of sophomore year, but because we were so close to being done, we didn't start dating until August. We had only been dating for six months when she called me.
"Well, what are your plans?" Mom asked. She knew there was no use fighting about it because what's done was done. No one could fix it and we only had to deal with it now.
"I don't know." I shook my head. "We hadn't talked for a few days."
"You haven't talked in a few days?" Dad asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why the hell not?"
"Carlisle, please." Mom whispered.
"No, Esme. He was smart enough to get Lauren pregnant." Ouch. "He should at least be smart enough to talk to the girl about it."
"She called me a few days ago to come pick her up from the abortion clinic!" I yelled, finally losing my temper. "She wasn't even going to tell me about the baby, but she chickened out of getting the abortion. She called me when her car would start and no one else would answer the phone."
"Well, now that she knows she doesn't want an abortion, what are your plans?" Dad asked.
"I want to keep it." I shrugged.
"The baby?" Mom asked. "Edward, you're pre-med. How are you going to keep this baby and go to school and study for the MCAT and apply for medical school?"
"I'll figure it out." I told her. "Mom...that baby is mine. Whether or not it's good timing, I...would you have given Emmett up if you were my age?"
"I don't know because I wasn't your age when I got pregnant."
"You weren't that much older than me." I argued.
"I was twenty three when I got pregnant and twenty four when he was born." She told me. "And your father and I were well off..."
"Yeah, and look where that got you!"
"Hey!" Carlisle barked. "Don't go there." He shook his head. Bringing up my biological dad was always a sore subject for everyone. Mom loved him, but he wasn't enough for her. He started sleeping around before Emmett was even born and Mom was lucky she didn't end up with an STD.
"I have the money..." I shrugged.
"You know that Carlisle and I want you to use that money later on in your life." She whispered. "Plus, you don't have access to your trust fund until you're twenty-five."
"But Dad's money would help us." I shrugged. "We could buy a bigger apartment and then hire a nanny for when we're at school."
"You want a nanny to raise your baby?" Mom asked. She definitely wasn't opposed to a nanny, but she'd gotten one for us when I was four and Emmett was six.
"I want to do what's right."
"Then we would seriously consider adoption, Edward." Carlisle said. "Look, that baby is our first grandchild...of course we want you to keep him or her. But, if it's easier for you and Lauren to give him to a family that can take care of him..."
"I can take care of him." I assured them. "We can do this. It won't be easy, but I think we can do this."
"I just don't see how this can work with all that you've got going on with school."
"Have a little faith in me, Mom." I smiled. "I'm twenty-one."
"You do everything you can to make sure that baby is loved and has everything that they need." Mom warned. "Do not abandon him for your schooling and do not make him feel like a burden."
"Mom, I won't." I nodded. "I swear."
Six Months Later
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Lauren chanted as she held my hand during another contraction. "I hate you, Edward Cullen! I hate you!"
"Fucking stop yelling at me!" I shouted back, letting go of her hand when the contraction stopped. "You didn't want the epidural so don't fucking yell at me that you're in pain!"
"You got me in this mess!" She argued, turning away from me. "It's your fault we're in this! You couldn't have fucking pulled out?"
This mess.
That's what she'd been calling our son being conceived for the last six months. I had somehow managed convinced her to keep the baby and not give him up for adoption, but it wasn't easy. The only way that she agreed to it was the fact that I told her I'd be there to take care of the baby when he was born. I didn't enroll back in Duke for the first semester of my senior year and Mom and Dad were pissed. They kept telling me 'I told you so' and that she should also be paying some of the consequences.
I agreed, but my son was more important to me at this point than my college degree.
After I convinced her to keep the baby, I asked her to marry me. I didn't particularly want to marry her, but I wasn't going to let our son be raised in a broken home. It was hard growing up with only one parent before Mom met Carlisle. It may have only been for nine months that we were on our own, but those nine months were hell on Mom.
"Fuck you!" I spat after she'd referred to our sons birth as a mess.
"Edward," Dad said from the doorway. "A word?" He asked and I was glad he showed up when he did. I swear if that woman hadn't been carrying my child, I would have killed her already. I went out into the hallway with him and he just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyebrows raised.
"She called our a son a mess again." I rolled my eyes.
"No, she got the situation a mess." Dad corrected. Whatever. It was the same thing. "Which, it is. It isn't like this is an amazing situation, Edward."
"You hate her." I spat. "Why are you defending her?"
"Because, she's the one doing all the work, Edward." He reminded me. "She's pushing a tiny human out of her. She's hurting, she's exhausted. Let her be cranky for once."
"She's always cranky."
"I hope your son argues with you as much as you argue with me." Dad rolled his eyes, but I didn't miss the smile on his face. "Go back in there and help your wife. And, please stop shouting at each other. Tehre are other people on this floor and you're making them miserable."
"Other people can hear us?" I asked and If felt my cheeks warming up.
"Yes." He laughed. "I could hear you shouting from around the corner."
"I'll tone it down."
"Lauren too."
"I'll tell her." I nodded as I headed back into the room.
Lauren and I didn't stop fighting while she was in labor, but we did manage to keep it down so we didn't disrupt everyone else on the delivery floor. Every time the doctor checked to see where she was at, she yelled at me when she had dilated more. Finally, after thirteen hours, they told her that she was ready to push. I had asked my Mom to be in there with us, must to Lauren's dismay.
But I couldn't count on myself to not kill her once the baby was born.
"Okay, Lauren, next contraction and you're going to push for me." The doctor instructed. "Okay, three, two one. Push, Lauren!"
"I hate you!" She chanted through her screaming as she pushed. "Oh, God!" She screeched nd finally, I heard the most beautiful noise of my entire life. I heard my son's first cry and I felt tears running down my cheek. I let got of Lauren's hand immediately and went over to my son and looked at him up close. He was kind of gross right now and I didn't want to know what he was covered in.
But, he was perfect.
"Lauren, he's perfect." I cried as I cut the umbilical cord. When I looked up at her, she was looking the other way and her eyes were shut tight.
"You wanna hold him, Mom?" The doctor asked as she wrapped him up in a blanket before they cleaned him off.
"Edward can hold him first."
"Are you sure?" I asked as the doctor placed my arms. I looked down at my beautiful son who squished his face up and yawned.
"He looks just like you did when you were born, Edward." Mom cried as she came up behind me
"He's perfect."
"Do we have a name?" The doctor asked.
"No, not yet." I shook my head.
"Well, we're going to take him and clean him up a little." The nurse whispered and took him from my arm. He screamed in protest, but I noticed he had discovered his little hand and shoved it in his mouth. Lauren was cleaned up and was rolled down to delivery where the rest of my family was waiting.
"Where is he?" My younger sister, Alice asked when Lauren was settled. Alice was Carlisle's daughter from his first wife. It wasn't that Alice's Mom was horrible like my biological dad was, but they just weren't ready together. Both of my parents said if they had met each other before their first spouses, they would have married each other in a heartbeat. Alice was a year younger than me and when Carlisle adopted Emmett and I, Mom adopted Alice. The three of us took their last name and no one ever questioned why Alice didn't look anything like Carlisle.
"They're cleaning him up." I yawned. "They'll bring him soon."
"What's his name?" Emmett asked eagerly.
"We don't know yet." Lauren snapped. "Stop asking."
"Wow," Emmett rolled his eyes. He looked at me, and I knew what he was thinking. I didn't understand how he'd gotten so lucky with his fiancé, Rose and I had such shitty luck when it came to women. Even in high school he managed to get the perfect girls and I ended up with the crazy ones.
They brought him to Lauren's room in the plastic crib not long after. He was cleaned up and looked a lot less nasty than he had when he was first born. When I tried handing him to Lauren, she just turned her head so I gave him to my Mom instead. We spent a few minutes letting everyone hold him before the nurse came in with the bottle full of formula. Lauren refused to breastfeed, which I was pissed about because of the benefits, but it was her body. She was going to do what she wanted to do.
"We do need to name him." I reminded her as she fed him. It was the first time she'd held him all night and he wiggled and cried almost the entire time. I couldn't blame him though. Anger was radiating from her and babies were able to sense that kind of stuff.
"You pick then." She rolled her eyes. "I like the three names we narrowed it down to."
"You sure?"
"It's just a name, Edward." She snapped and it was then that I realized how alone I was in this whole thing. I was actually counting down the days until she went to the store for diapers and took off.
I looked down at my son as he drank his first bottle, and smiled. I knew exactly what to call him and it fit him perfectly.
"Mason." I whispered.
"Cool," She said as she looked at the wall in front of her rather than the baby in her arms.
Three days after he was born, it was time to take our son home. I strapped him into the carseat and carried him outside while the nurses wheeled her out. I drove like a grandpa all the way home while Lauren slept beside me. I looked in my rearview mirror every thirty seconds to look at my son and couldn't help but smile. It was impressive that I got us home before the sunset and I carried Mason into the apartment before Lauren even woke up.
Lauren came stomping upstairs, pissed off that I didn't wake he up once we got home. She ignored me and Mason for the rest of the day while she slept and I took care of the baby myself. As she slept and I cared for our son, I wondered what I was thinking when I asked her out on a date, let alone how I asked her to marry me.
I slept on the floor of the nursery that night. Mason had me up every two hours and Mom wasn't kidding when she felt like a zombie for the first few months after she had us. Each time he cried, I heated up his bottle, fed him, burped, changed him and rocked him back to sleep. Lauren didn't even bother coming in to see if I needed help. By the time it was seven in the morning, I'd only got a handful of hours of sleep and I was fucking exhausted.
"Lauren, can you take him for a little bit so I can sleep?" I called as I tried burping him again. "Lauren?" I called when she didn't answer. "Come on, I know you're having a hard time bonding with him but..." I trailed off when I noticed out empty bedroom. "Hey! Lauren!" I called, trying not to scare Mason.
I looked in the bedroom and even looked down the parking lot. Her car was gone and I was fucking pissed off.
"Lauren!" I called after I'd changed Mason's diaper and put him back in the crib. "Fucking, bitch." I mumbled when I saw papers setting on our kitchen table. I picked up the paper and my blood broiled. DIVORCE was stamped in bold on the top of the paper and she had filled everything out and signed already. The only blank on the page was my signature and if I didn't have a sleeping infant in the other room, I would have screamed.
"Bitch!" I called, grabbing the other paper she'd left on the table.
Dear Edward,
I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it. I know you wanted to keep the baby, and I wasn't going to take him away from you. I'll send you papers, granting you full custody. Please don't come and try to find me.
Lauren
"Fucking, bitch." I cursed again and dialed my Dad's number.
"Edward?" He asked. Him and Mom were leaving North Carolina later today. Although, now they might have been changing their plans. "What's wrong, son? Is Mason okay?"
"He's fine." I assured him. "Lauren...Dad, she took off."
"What do you mean she took off?" He barked. "Where'd she go?"
"I have no clue." I shrugged. "She told me not to look for her and she was going to send papers over to give me full custody of Mason."
"She's...gone gone?" He asked.
"She's beyond gone, Carlisle." I rolled my eyes. "She signed divorce papers and left them for me to sign."
"Your Mom and I will be right over." He sighed and hung up the phone. I took the time while Mason was asleep and took a quick shower and managed to scarf down a granola bar before he woke up and before my parents got there. I looked down at my son as I fed him and wondered how anyone could be so cruel to him. She didn't even hold him before taking off. I knew she was hesitant about having him, but I still thought that once she met him she'd warm up to the idea.
"Where's my grandson?" Mom demanded before she'd even said hello to them when I opened the door.
"I just put him down." I whispered.
"Where's the papers?" Dad asked as Mom sat down on the couch.
"Kitchen table." I sighed as I laid down next to Mom. She affectionately rubbed my back as Carlisle looked over the papers.
"These look...legit." He sighed, shaking his head as he took his reading glasses off. "I'm sorry, Edward."
"I don't fucking care if she wants a divorce." I scoffed. "I don't even know why I married her in the first place."
"Because you wanted Mason to grow up in a good family."
"Mom, we were never a good family." I reminded her. "Fuck!" I cursed, making Mom flinch. "I should have never asked her out."
"But, you wouldn't have Mason if you would have left her alone."
"I love Mason so much already, but I'm not ready for this." I finally admitted. "I'm...I can't do this."
"You can still...adoption is still an option." Carlisle whispered.
"No, it's not." I argued. "The second I saw him, I fell in love. I can't even...adoption is not an option."
"What are you going to do then?" Mom asked.
"I'm gonna have to move back home." I shrugged.
"No, Edward, if you come home you'll never finish school." Carlisle reminded me.
"If I stay I'm never going to finish school." I argued. "I can't do this on my own."
"What were you planning on doing with Lauren?" Mom asked. "I mean, she didn't exactly look like she was going to do anything when he was born."
"She would have been an extra set of hands." I shrugged because I had no idea what Lauren was going to do if she had stayed. Would she have eventually warmed up? Would she just sit an watch? I didn't know and I didn't think I'd ever know.
"You can come work with me." Carlisle sighed. Carlisle had started one of the best construction companies in the country when he was just twenty seven. It started out as a local business to help redo old bathrooms, but it quickly grew and we were...living comfortably to say the least. Cullen's Constructions main office were in Jacksonville, but there were nine different locations throughout the country.
"Carlisle, he needs to finish school." Mom scolded.
"What he needs, Esme, is to be able to provide for that baby." He told her. "If he doesn't have a job, then he can't do that. And he can't pay for a babysitter if he doesn't have any money."
"He can get a job here and make money."
"Dad will pay me better than any crap job around here." I shrugged. "Regardless, Mason and I need to come home."
"So your dreams of being a doctor? Mom shook her head.
"Plans change, Mom." I whispered. It was true. I'd been dreaming of becoming a doctor since I was six and had my first ER visit. I thought it was pretty cool that they were able to stitch up my head, only leaving a small scar and decided then that it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
"They shouldn't have to."
"No, you're right." I nodded. "But...I need to do what's best for my son." I reminded her. "And, I can always come back to school and finish and go to med school when Mason's a little older."
"This isn't going to be easy, Edward." Dad spoke up.
"It was never going to be easy." I sighed, leaning back and resting my head on the back of the couch.
