Despair and Melancholie

Chapter Two: The Reminiscent Prince

The hull of the ship creaked as the waves churned in the midst of a storm in the night. I lied on my back, eyes closed but nowhere near sleep when thunder crashed. From the bottom level of the ship where there were a few beds set up for the crew that was expected on a vessel of this size, Crystaline slept in another room that had been made to house a crew. Alone with only my thoughts and the unending sound of rain, I sat in a dark emptiness that let my mind weave lies.

Why had this happened?

It was all my fault.

I should have stayed. It was cowardly to have fled from Gale in the way I did, even if my mother had urged me to. If I was truly the strong man that I yearned to be, I would have stayed and fought for the freedom of my family. But instead, I ran away.

I could not stand the silence any longer, and ventured out onto the mast of the ship. My clothes and hair became soaked with the rain, but it didn't bother me. It actually felt rather peaceful to look up into the dark, grim clouds and feel the coolness of the rain was over my face. I closed my eyes tightly and wished only for it to sweep me away completely. But I knew that wouldn't happen. Reality was often so cruel that when all you wish is for it to be a dream; actuality comes and strikes you so hard that you never dream at all.

Nevertheless, I closed my eyes and the noise of the ship creaking and the thunder off in the distance faded until I felt as if I was nowhere. Lost inside my own mind. Alone, with my thoughts…

Alone.

And just as I expected, reality appeared again.

Why had I tried to be alone? Hadn't I truly been alone all my life, locked away as a prisoner inside my own home, inside my own mind? Why was I now so displeased with the outside world that I yearned to return to solitude? What made man so afraid of loneliness that he clung to whomever crossed his path, or the smallest spider's thread of freedom? Why did I so long for reality when reality was what now frightened me the most? How could I stand here and contemplate my existence when it was the existence of others that I had vowed to protect?

Once and for all, it was clear. I could not wait in protest of my own fears, when I had sworn on my life to protect my family and kingdom from their fears. Life was not about how to live, but how to protect the lives of others.

If I could protect the lives of my people, then it would give my own life meaning.

Who were they to make a judgment on my life? If I was created this way by God, then by all means they have no right to criticize me. They cannot judge me, and I would not allow them to.

It was as if certainty flooded over me, and I could feel the true bravery of a man who has God on his side. There was no changing it, no changing me.

"Prince Desperaux…!"

I turned to see as Crystaline appeared from the lower deck of the ship, staring at me in concern, "What are you doing out here? The rain will make you ill, Desperaux… please come inside..."

I smiled slightly, and turned to face her, "I've told you Crystaline, I am no longer a prince. This time, I'm only myself."

She gave me a strange look once I had said this, and I smiled again, "What do you mean, Desperaux?"

I looked up to the sky as the rain had begun to quell, "I am no longer the fortunate prince of Gale. I'm a fugitive with no destination. But Crystaline, let me tell you…. I have never felt so certain of whom I am before now."

"Desperaux…" She sighed, as I saw the uncertain glimpse of trust in me in her eyes, "We must find somewhere to go…"

I nodded quietly, "I know, but all the maps of the surrounding countries were lost at the palace…"

Suddenly, she grinned so happily that it confused me, and she took my hand and began to lead me back down the stairs of the inside of the ship. With each of her steps taken gingerly a content feeling began to grow in me. With a faithful friend such as Crystaline at my side, it would prove that this quest could not be as lonely as I had feared.

Once we were in the hull of the ship, she brought me farther back to where her chambers were, and reached to a large pile of books atop some barrel. Immediately I recognized the insignia on the cover, my family crest. I gasped aloud so happily as she handed one of the many books from the pile, and I saw as I ran my fingers through the pages that it was one of the many books I had owned in the castle's library. This particular one had descriptions of the customs and locations of the many surrounding countries of Gale.

"Crystaline, this is magnificent! How did you manage to do this?"

She gave me a sweet smile as her cheeks slightly flushed, "I took them all here before you had arrived. I knew we would need them, so I just thought that—" In all my happiness, I put my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly, but briefly.

"Thank you so much, Crystaline… I could never repay you…" I replied, seeing her face grow as red as a bright rose. She remained shocked for a few more moments as I had begun to go through the rest of the books, recognizing them all. Near the pile of books there were a few maps that had been rolled up into scrolls. Reaching and opening the first one it revealed Gale and its surrounding countries, just as we had needed. According to the great atlas in my hands, I saw that the country nearest us was a kingdom by the name of Glade. With that, I observed the other novel with descriptions of these countries, where I learned that Glade was a very peaceful land, much like Gale. A monarchy, with the highest position held by their king, a man named Claud. The most important piece of information, though, was that though they were very similar in culture to Gale, their customs did not go as far as to believe that individuals with red eyes were demons.

That was the most important detail, which would dictate exactly where Crystaline and I would be safe to stay. Glad at this, I headed back to the front of the ship where to my surprise, the rain had stopped and the sky was now clearing. A bright and hopeful sun was revealed from behind the gray clouds, and I began to steer the ship towards the new hope that we hand found in Glade.

As we grew closer to the kingdom, my heart began to flutter with a wistfulness that reminded me of home. Glade looked and seemed so similar to Gale that only someone who had studied it carefully—or someone like myself who had examined the appearance of Gale from his window for twenty five years—would be able to tell the difference between the two countries. The land was lush, and the town seemed calm and thriving. The port was open to any traveler, and I steered the ship and settled it in.

There was an indescribable feeling of wonder enveloped me as I gazed upon the calm people and atmosphere that I had never been able to experience at my own home. Crystaline noticed this and turned to me with a soft smile.

"If you'd like, I'll go and find us an inn to stay, and you could go off and explore the town..?" Her eyes showed a kind courtesy to the wanderlust of mine that she knew so well, and I nodded in response.

"Thank you. I'd like to go and see the marketplace… You should come and join me when you're task is finished."

As Crystaline took off into the opposite direction, I stared into the crowd again. Realizing that I did appear somewhat overdressed, I receded back into the hull of the ship. The townspeople were not poor, but they were certainly not wealthy. If someone like myself, clad in such fine clothing were to approach them, I would surely draw attention to myself. I tore the ruffled collar of my shirt, and rolled the sleeves up, I let down my long, golden hair from the tie that held it, and reached for my eye patch. The history said that the citizens of Glade did not criminalize people with my appearance, but it would be in my best interest to keep my eye hidden. I could not tell if there happened to be any soldiers from Gale who had come in search of me. As I turned to leave the ship, my eyes fell upon a familiar wooden case that sat atop a barrel. Again, I recognized the intricate design and my family crest. But this was no ordinary book or scroll. As I opened it, I ran my fingers over the smooth wood and strings of my own violin. My favorite instrument. Crystaline must have brought it along for me as well. I would be sure to thank her again. With a considerable amount of currency in my pocket, and the case of my violin in my hands, I set out to the streets of Glade.

The main marketplace was lovely, and so full of life. Merchants called out from tents and tables where merchandise of any kind was being sold. Tapestries, food, and everyday supplies were being vended by men with joyous eyes. Children ran free in groups, playing small games I had never heard of. Women walked with baskets of food and supplies. It was such a welcoming crowd, it made me yearn for home. I approached a street corner where there were not as many people, and stood against the stone wall of a building. I laid the wooden case to my violin on the cobblestone ground and removed it from the case. I remained unnoticed to the bustling crowd, that is, until I picked up the bow and ran it across the strings.

The sweetest sound flew off the strings as I began to play only from memory a song written long ago, depicting knights and chivalrous heroes of old. The sound echoed like a triumphant yet peaceful tale of nomads and lovers, and it had always warmed my heart to play it for my parents. Unnoticed to me for the time being, a crowd had begun to form at my front, listening to the music. This song reminded me of home, and the family that I missed.

As the last note of the song faded into the surprised murmur of the crowd, I opened my eyes to see a much larger crowd than I had expected. Their faces were bewildered, and joyful. To my surprise, I looked down to see the case for my violin filled with coins and other forms of money. I gasped, not expecting to earn anything. Then I recalled that street-performing such as this was most commonly used to earn payment. More of the citizens leaned down to put money in, and I spoke anxiously.

"N-No, please! Please don't give me your money, keep it for yourselves. I did not mean to compel you to give me any payment…" I shooed their filled hands from the case of my violin, urging them to take back what they had given me, but they refused. One woman approached me and kindly spoke.

"Sir, what's your name?" She asked softly.

Dumbfounded still, I hesitantly replied, "M-Me? I am Desperaux, Desperaux Melancholie…"

"What business does someone so talented have in such a small place like this?" Another citizen asked, respectfully.

Suddenly, they all began asking me questions and seeking information about me.

"I…I came here for… adventure… I suppose..." I said, resorting to a half truth, not willing to lie to such kind people about my true identity.

Still, they pressed further, "But you're so skilled, you must have been well trained. And your clothes are so fine, and you are so well mannered. Where are you from?"

I gasped, not wanting to answer them and nervous from their accurate inquiry of me, "I… I am from Gale… please, I must go…" I said, trying to slowly make my way through the crowd, when a familiar voice broke through loudly and clearly.

"Prince Desperaux, Prince Desperaux! Is that you?" Crystaline's voice called out to me, and the crowd echoed with gasps and repetitions of my title as prince. They couldn't know.

"Crystaline!" I cried, and seized her hand and proceeded to run as quickly as I could while taking hold of my violin and its case full of money, and burst away from the crowd. They gasped as Crystaline and I ran from the marketplace, drawing much more attention to ourselves than I had originally planned. Crystaline then led me quickly to the inn where we were to stay, and we hid ourselves away in separate rooms. I watched from the window warily for some time before I relieved myself of the stress of awaiting a crowd that I feared to be following us.

Hours later, I sat by a candlelit desk, reading over my maps and the many scrolls that described the surrounding areas. I so needed to plan our route, and quickly or there would be no chance of saving my parents and my kingdom. My scattered thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. My heart pounded as I was reminded of the earlier crowd. I breathed deeply and tried to calm my thoughts, and opened the door.

Standing in front of me were two men clad in shining armor. Without thinking, I stepped back and reached for my sword, but they spoke.

"We mean no harm." They said in unison, and I hesitantly relaxed, "We have come to retrieve the prince by the name of Desperaux, in the name of the king of Glade, his majesty Claud."