Author's Note:
WOO! I got 8 reviews, even though I wanted 10, but I'm going to continue anyways. So, for the first few chapters I'll have flashbacks, so you can see what happened before. So don't get confused. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
BTW BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT NAYELI IS 15 IN THE FLASHBACK AND 16 IN CURRENT.
Songs that inspired me:
Crushed - Rosette (I listen to Elise Estrada's version though.)
Next to you - Jordin Sparks
Falling In Love But Falling Apart
Chapter 2: Crushed
Flashback:
I kept telling myself that today was going to be the day. No more excuses like the days before, I knew exactly what to say. So I went up him after school was over.
"Hey, Jake!" I said cheerfully, confident.
"Hey, Nay! What's up?" He said back to me.
"Um, can I talk to you… alone?" I said nervously. He looked at me like I had something on my face.
"Uh… Okay. Is everything alright?" Jake asked me as we went of school grounds, walking home.
"Um, yeah. Remember when we were thirteen and you kissed me? We're not kids on the playground anymore, right? We're bigger… love's bigger." You're doing well, Nay, just keep going. The important thing is to let him know.
There was silence. We kept walking but he didn't say anything. Did he know what I was about to do? Why wasn't he answering? WHY WASN'T HE ANSWERING ME!? Don't show him you're nervous!
I stopped in my tracks, causing him to stop, stare at me and finally say something.
"Are you just going to sit there and wait for my response or something?"
"No…. I 'm standing." Well, I was standing… Oh my gosh, real smooth Nay, real smooth, I told myself.
"Okay. I'm just gunna keep walking." Jake left me and started to walk ahead. "I hear it's going to rain later!" He yelled as he was a few feet away from me. I gave up.
"UGH! Fine." He laughed in triumph. Don't forget the mission! Tell him you love him!
"God. Since you won't say anything, I'll guess you'll just have to listen. Look I really-" I looked into his eyes. What if he didn't like me back? Would it change our friendship? Would he look at me different? What if he rejects me? What if he likes someone else? What happens then?
Suddenly it just blanked out. I didn't know what to say. Try to remember what you practised before! I told myself. But I couldn't, because it was Jake. He could just do that to me. My mind erased like a document on my computer. I was so angry at myself. Guess the hours of practising in the mirror didn't work, yesterday.
"Nay… hello? Are you in there?" Jake said waving his hand in front of my face.
"Um yeah." I wasn't aware that my legs were still moving. We were in front of Jake's house now.
"What were you going to say?" His eyes, waiting. Before I could even say or blank out again, Billy called for him.
"Jake, get in here and help me!" Billy yelled.
"Okay!" He yelled back. "Bye Nay, I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, he was running into the house to help the interrupting Billy.
"Bye…" I whispered pathetically. I ran home, feeling something weird in my chest, it was uncomfortable.
I can't believe it. My mind just erased and I let the moment slip away out of my hands like sand. So here I am, another night here, sitting all alone, trying to pick up the phone and some how sum up the guts to call him, with a heavy feeling in my chest that I'm so familiar with. Maybe I could still tell him.
Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more…. Maybe it's just my imagination. But sometimes I see him stare at me, just a little too long. It makes me wonder if he feels it too…call me crazy.
I stare at the phone in my hands, thinking about the possibilities. If I do call him and he does like me back, we might live happily ever after. If I call him and he rejects me that might complicate things between us at school. Then there's the neutral, don't call him at all.
No. I can't this love, it's the strongest I've ever felt. I can't just let it go. You see, I'm always home alone. My mom's…she's not really… what you would call a typical mom. She got pregnant with me and my older sister, Avery (who just graduated and is always out, doing bad stuff), both by accident. A complete, total mistake. She's irresponsible and thinks she's still a teen, when I'm here all alone, needing someone to talk to. Sometimes I worry about my family. Like if Ava would follow into our mom's footsteps. My mom did, always say that she was like her and I was like my dad. I guess that's why she didn't love me.
I rested my head on the couch; at least it would always be here.
My hands shook as I dialled Jake's number. But I couldn't even get through the dial tone. It was tormenting me, killing me. That he didn't know I loved him so, so much. I was crushed. Crushed by his warmth, that I've always missed and how he doesn't know that I lose my mind, myself to him.
So I sat there and cried for few minutes that turned into hours. I was left breathless, heaving with a heavy pain in my chest.
I keep telling myself that today is going to be tomorrow and I'll never let another chance slip away, I'll find a way. I won't be afraid like today and I won't keep going down this road. Again and Again. That's what I keep saying to myself…Because I have to…. I have to.
END OF FLASHBACK
JACOB'S POV FLASHBACK (a little bonus):
"Um, yeah. Remember when we were thirteen and you kissed me? We're not kids on the playground anymore, right? We're bigger… love's bigger." I didn't know what to say. Back then, I couldn't control myself. My heart was bigger than I was and I think it was stupid of me.
END OF FLASHBACK
I remember that night. I stayed up until 3 in the morning; Jake was in my head like a song in the radio. It annoyed me but I loved it. That's how the pain was, that's still how the pain is. But right now, it was just pure pain.
He was right in front of me. Teasing me, the sweetest lips I've never kissed before but always craved for. It crushed me. It was too much, I ran away. I knew he saw the tears, of course I wasn't fast enough, it's not like he would run after me though. And he didn't. And just like that night, I sat alone again in my room, crying for him.
It was pathetic, but I couldn't stop. There was something inside me that wouldn't let me move on. Something between us was special. Why couldn't he see it? Why would he say "Why would you do this, Nay?" like it was a crime? He's the one who left me hanging when the thing happened! Why was it always my fault!?
I had totally forgotten about Quil. I was his "girlfriend", I should probably call him. I was exhausted though. My legs ran their hardest, ignoring the pain in the rest of my body, mentally and physically. I sighed and flopped on to my bed, my face towards the ceiling but my arm covering my eyes.
"I should call Quil." I whispered, but just as I was going to sit up, someone pushed me back down.
"No, you should not." A low husky voice commanded.
You can't die from a broken heart, you only wish you did.
He and I are a dream. Him and her are reality.
A/N: Sorry it's so short. I originally planned it to be longer but I had to cut it short because I can't go on without telling you about the THING that happened between Jake and Nay. I'll be updating every week, at least one chapter. Maybe two, if I'm in my writing hyper mood thing. PLEASE REVIEW! JASMINE AND I STAYED UP LATE FINISHING IT UP!
