Chapter Two: Nothing But A Dissapointment

"I am truly only here to disappoint" - Matt Skiba (from the song I'm Only Here to Disappoint).


"Everything Ronnie Anne has told you is correct. Hearing my side of the story isn't gonna do anything.", I said still refusing to move my head. Mr. Huggins was unfazed by my statement, "Lincoln, it's a requirement that I hear both sides if the story. For all I know Romnie Anne could've been lying."

"But she isn't ", I said plainly, "I know Ronnie Anne and there's no way she would lie. Especially about something as serious as this."

"Why did you assault her!?", a voice to my left said. I recognized that voice to be Bobby Santiago. Ronnie Anne's brother, my sister Lori's boyfriend, and my long time "bro", although I think it's fair to assume that the bro thing is pretty much done for. I could sense that he was giving me a really nasty look, and the only thing that kept him getting up and killing me, was that he needed to comfort his sister. Bobby is a very caring brother, unlike me.

"Calm yourself Mr. Satiago.", Mr. Huggins said as he momentarily turned his attention to the older boy. He quickly turned his attention back to me, "Now Lincoln, if everything Ronnie Anne said is true, then why did you assault her? We still don't know."

I sighed and quietly said, "I...I thought she was going to beat me up."

Mr. Huggins leaned in closer, "Speak up Lincoln, I can't hear you."

"I thought she was gonna beat me up", I said more clearly. I made sure that I kept my voice low and soft so Ronnie Anne and Bobby couldn't hear me. Mr. Huggins looked at me with a quite unreadable face. I honestly couldn't tell what he was thinking.

He turned to Bobby and said, "Could you and your sister please wait outside." Bobby couldn't say no to the man's request. He picked up Ronnie Anne and gave me a hate filled glare as he left. Mr. Huggins got up and sat behind his desk. He motioned to a chair in the corner and I nodded. I got the chair and I dragged it in front of the desk. I sat down on the chair and still refused to look up.

"You're gonna need to tell me everything about what happened today.", Mr. Huggins said, "Start from when you first entered the cafeteria." I didn't want to relive this part of my life again, I already wanted to forget about this event, but there's no way I can do that.

"Fine, I was going to meet Ronnie Anne in the cafeteria because I wanted to break up with her.", I started.

"Why exactly did you want to break up with her", Mr. Huggins asked, "From what I've seen, she is a very nice girl."

"She is a nice girl. She's amazing. It's just that... I haven't felt the same about Ronnie Anne for a long time now.", I explained, "My love and admiration for her has died and I no longer see her as someone special." Well, that wasn't totally a lie. Mr. Huggins nodded and wrote down something on a piece of paper.

"Continue.", he said without looking at me.

"Alright, well, as cowardly as this sounds, I didn't want to break up with her to her face. So I left a note on her locker.", I said as I continued explaining.

Mr. Huggins stopped writing and slowly tilted his head up to look up at me. He gave me a look as if to say, "Are you serious?"

"I know", I said not even trying to come up with an excuse for my cowardly actions, "I'm not proud of it either. Anyway, I knew by the time lunch came around that she probably found the note. I convinced all of my friends to eat outside so I wouldn't have to confront her. Luckily they didn't really mind, so I didn't have to explain."

"I'm assuming she went looking for you?", Mr. Huggins asked without looking up at me and continuing to write.

I nodded, "Y-Yes. I spent the majority of lunch silent and tense with almost none of my friends noticing. S-"

"Wait", Mr. Huggins cuts me off, "Out of curiosity, what do you mean by 'almost none'?"

"Clyde Mcbride, my best friend, noticed that I was silent and he asked me if I was ok. I lied to him and said I was.", I said.

Mr. Huggins once again nodded and wrote down something on the paper. "Alright Mr. Loud, go on."

"Soon Ronnie Anne found us eating lunch behind the school and she started to question me in front of my friends. She didn't care that they were there. She had tears running down her face and she was gripping my note to her in right hand", I said as my breathing speed starting to increase, "She was screaming loudly at me and she started to draw attention towards us."

"I thought you and your friends were the only ones behind the school?", Mr. Huggins asked.

"W-We were. She was screaming so loud that she got the attention of people in the cafeteria", I said without looking up.

"Jesus", Mr. Huggins mumbled.

"Eventually Ronnie Anne grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the wall. She demanded to know why I broke up with her. I just kept saying she wouldn't understand.", I sighed, "I should've just made up some excuse, but I was an idiot and kept avoiding giving her an answer. That's when she got ready to punch me in the face. And that's when I fought back. I got too carried away."

Mr. Huggins gave me a stern glare. "I swear to God that's all that happened. I didn't mean to hurt her that much. I wish I didn't do it, but there's nothing I can do. I-I deserve any punishment that you give me.", I said laying my head on the table.

I could feel Mr. Huggins looking at me and I could hear him writing stuff down on the piece of paper. If I could keep my head down on that desk forever, I absolutely would. I wish I could just die right here, but God, if he exist, wants me to suffer.

When the sound of the pen on the paper ceased, I heard Mr. Huggins open his office door and ask Ronnie Anne and to come into the room. I heard her little feet enter the room and I heard her sniffing a bit. She was instructed to pull a chair up next to me and sit down. I heard her doing the action I got tense as I felt her presence next to me.

Mr. Huggins went back to his desk and said, "Please look up Mr. Loud."

I reluctantly looked up and saw him giving me a stern look. "Your stories match up. I appreciate you both for telling the truth.", Mr. Huggins said, "Now according to both of your stories, Ronnie Anne, though angry for good reasons, was the one that instigated the fight, so your punishment is one week suspension."

"Yes sir", Ronnie Anne said in a shaky.

Mr. Huggins turned to me, "Now you Lincoln, I am disappointed in you. I expect better from a respectable star student like you. I know you had your own personal reasons for breaking up with Ronnie Anne, but she deserved to be told that your relationship was over to her face. Leaving a simple note on her locker is cowardly and frankly, very disrespectful to this girl."

I continued to look at the principal with a blank expression, but I just wanted to hang my head in shame.

"Lincoln", Mr. Huggins continued, "Your punishment is also a week of suspension." I should get more than that. I injured Ronnie Anne and made her cry. I should be fucking put to death, but instead I just get a week off school and a scolding from the principal. Wow. Such a worthy punishment.

"Both of you, especially you Lincoln, are smart kids with a bright future", Mr. Huggins said, "So I hope I never see either of you in my office under these circumstances ever again. Do I make myself clear?" Me and Ronnie Anne nodded. "Good. I will be on the phone with your parents later."

Fantastic. A week off of school, a lecture from the principal, and a punishment from my parents. Not to mention that Lori will turn me into a human pretzel once she finds out what I did to her boyfriend's little sister. Well, looks like I'm going to have to walk home today, I'm not riding home in a car Lori's driving.

"Alright kids", Mr. Huggins said going on his computer, "I need to get some work done. You are free to go to your class now."

I quickly got out of my chair and got out the room, but I didn't hear Ronnie Anne leave the room which I found odd. I could feel Bobby staring at me, but I'll be damned if I'm looking back. As soon as I knew that I was out of Bobby's sight, I started to walk slowly. I didn't wanna go back to class. I knew that I was going to be met by judgmental stares and angry glares. Granted, I deserved it all, but I'm a coward, I don't want to face what's coming to me.

I decided to make my way to the third grade hallway. I knew that Lucy and her classmates would be getting dismissed for lunch soon and I decided to meet up with her. It was no secret to anyone that Lucy and I had the strongest relationship out of all of siblings. Ever since she was born, it was like love at first sight. I took it upon myself to protect Lucy at cost. I promised that I would be the best brother in the world, and for the most part, I've kept that promise.

I entered the third grade hallway and stood next to Lucy's classroom door. I stood there trying to forget about everything that has happened today, and then I thought about what Lucy would think after she finds out what I did. What is she gonna think? I can handle one of my sisters being angry or disappointed in me, but having Lucy even slightly upset with me is the worst thing ever.

The sound of all the doors in the third grade hallway opening knocked me out of my thoughts. A bunch of kids from ages seven to eight came running out of their classrooms. Some with lunches in their hands and others with lunch money. As the classrooms emptied, I finally saw Lucy coming out of her classroom last. She was clutching her brown lunch bag in her hand. When she saw me waiting for her, she smiled a little bit.

"What are you doing here?", she asked, her monotone voice being the only sound in the hallway, "Don't you have class."

"Yes, but I don't wanna go.", I said. I knew that she was gonna ask more questions, but I didn't mind, I liked talking to Lucy.

"But you'll get in trouble", Lucy said.

"I'm already gonna be in trouble once I get home. You'll probably hear Lori ranting about what I did in the car on the way home", I said. I grabbed her hand and we started to walk outside.

"I don't like it when you get in trouble with Lori, Lincoln", Lucy said with a bit of worry in her voice, "She's already super mad at you after you called her a bitch."

I groaned when she mentioned that. What she's talking about is the day I snapped at Lori and called her a 'Fucking bitch'. I almost got a black eye thanks to her and she nearly knocked down my damn door. It took all of my sisters, my parents, and a damn water hose to get her to stop trying to break down my door. I didn't come out my room for the rest of the day after that.

"I don't want her to try and hurt you again", Lucy continued, "I keep thinking she's gonna end up killing you."

I smiled a bit as we walked outside the school, "She's not gonna kill me, Lucy, seriously injure me, yes, but not kill me."

I swear I could hear a quiet giggle coming from her. "Please just, try not to make her mad.", Lucy said gripping my hand a little harder.

"I promise, Lucy", I said giving my little sister a smile. We sat down on the swings and Lucy shared her lunch with me. As I watched my little sister gently sway on the swing, I begin to think about how she was the most important thing in the world to me. Even when Ronnie Anne and I were at the height of our relationship, Lucy was still my top priority. In fact, Lucy is the only reason I'm still alive.

Author's Note: There will be no incest in this story, but there will be one-sided LucyxLincoln (Lucy will have a small crush on Linc, but there will be nothing sexual or romantic). Next chapter will go more in depth about Lincoln's first suicide attempt.