Raaahhh. I'm sick.

That's a good thing in the fact that I have more time to work on my FanFictions (yay?).

Anyways, here's a long one to compensate for the equally, if longer, wait.

Chapter 1: Falling Out Of Love


Even though it seems we have lost our words for each other, he still is there for me.

He doesn't tell anybody about my nightmares. Or my day-mares, where I suddenly fall into a dark world where nothing makes sense and wake, usually on the ground, shaking. I know that he wants to tell.

But he keeps his word.

And every night, before we climb into bed and pretend that we aren't under the same covers, he watches me. He asks me just one question.

"Is there anything you want to say?"

It goes the same, every time. I stare at him, shake my head. He looks away, either down at my hands, or just at the covers, and nods. Hands me the water, gets into bed.

That is how we end each day.

Except tonight.

He asks me those fateful words, and this time I can't even meet his gaze. I can hear him sigh, and he reaches out and touches my hand.

And the tear escapes my eye, rolling down my cheek, landing on the back of his hand.

He looks up at me again with a jolt, and I return the gaze with clouded eyes. I fall into his arms and the tears fall, large and hot, slowly, one by one. My voice chokes, trying to say what my mind is thinking.

"I'm falling out of love." I mumble.

But the worst part is what he says to me.

"I know."


Why, why did he have to say that, of all things? One thing was certain, it was that he was most definitely not joking.

And yet it stirs up so many memories that I don't know what I feel about my husband.

That night, I dream of him. But it seems that the Force is pitying me, because this time it's about Han.

But it's so unbelievably vivid.

It starts with my very first, true encounter with him.

It was after the Battle of Yavin, during the festivities. I was kind of wandering aimlessly, a glass of white wine in my palm. I had actually been looking for Luke when Han turned up.

"Hi there, princess." he said, sauntering over and leaning casually against the doorway. I looked up at him cautiously.

"Hello," I responded slowly. "Good to see you again, Captain."

He brightened. "Well, I have to say you're a lot more amiable when you're not on a superstation."

I pursed my lips. "I was under a lot of pressure, Solo."

"Oh, so no more with the 'Captain' now, huh?" he pouted, cocking his head down at me with a half-grin. I looked right back at his hazel eyes. A crazy, crazy thought ran through my head, along the lines of; 'gods, those eyes...and that medal' but I put it away immediately.

"If that's what you'd like, then, sure, Captain." I scrutinized him carefully but he just seemed openly friendly and I managed a smile. He did a sort of double take and gazed at me for a few moments. I felt embarrassment flutter in my chest and my own self immediately screamed at me in disbelief. Alderaan gone and you're falling for men left and right? Get your act together, Organa!

"Your smile is beautiful." he mumbled after a moment, and this time I flushed pink from head to toe. What was I supposed to say? My confused, jumbled mind clutched at a straw and before I knew what was happening I blurted it out.

"Your eyes are..." I trailed off, guessing that my face was probably now a very interesting shade of red. "your eyes..."

"Well, no kidding," he smirked again, and my heart skipped a beat. "Yeah, they're my eyes."

I blushed for the third time, and I immediately drew away, eyes narrowing.

"I was just trying to say, that..." I started with a sharp retort on my mind and realized that I had gone in the wrong direction. "that I like your eyes."

And, that infuriating Han Solo, he only winked at me knowingly and just walked away.

Leaving me, breathing hard, face prickling, heart trembling.


Second, it's Hoth.

"Prin-cess?" Han called as he stepped out of the blowing winds, voice muffled from the heavy layers shielding him from the cold. This time I was happy to see him. Ecstatic, even. I leaped into his arms and he caught me. We just stood like that for a long moment. The ice caked on his coat started to soak into my clothes but I didn't care.

"I thought that, t-that you were...gone," I breathed, and he held me tighter.

"I would leave with a warning, wouldn't I?" he responded in a low voice, and I blinked away tears.

He had been gone, flying the Falcon on a roundabout trip to traverse the land and see if any settlements were nearby. His ship had been caught in a snowstorm and it inevitably broke down, forcing him to land and suffer without heat and limited supplies for five days.

On the first day I had been indifferent, thinking that perhaps they had found a civilization and was getting the radio set up or whatever.

On the second day I started to smell a rat but I kept my silence.

On the third day a low, stabbing pain in my chest would suddenly ambush me when I wouldn't me expecting it.

On the fourth day it progressed to a sharp, constant worry that kept me awake at night and made me drift off of my tasks.

On the fifth day I stood outside, ignoring all of my duties and meetings, looking for a sign of that battered bucket of bolts through the snow and gray sky.

At night I sat by the comm reciever while the man on duty tried to make chit-chat and make eyes at me and honestly, I wouldn't have given a pile of bantha fodder if he was offering me endless gold and a chance to defeat the Empire. All I could think about was Han, mind torturing me with the thought that he might have left the Alliance for good. Without a single goodbye.

And then a worse thought came over me as I shivered in the nighttime cold.

Was he wasting away, caught in one of Hoth's vicious blizzards?

That's when I realized that I frickin hated this planet.

Luke, what the hell were you thinking, leading us here?

The first thing that alerted me to his return was a clatter outside.

I leaped to my feet, the blanket that had been wrapped around me fell to the ground. The man on duty put a hand on my arm.

"We don't know if this is Captain Solo or not, Your Highness." he warned, but I shook him off, immediately striding towards the men guarding the blast shield doors.

"Open up, he's outside, Solo's outside." I rapped out sharply. The officer in charge turned a surprised gaze towards me and I challenged him with my eyes.

"Maam, have you gotten the identification comm from Captain Solo?" he asked, looking down at me. I bristled, heart hammering. Something told me that he was out there, freezing in the cold.

"No, but he's out there, I know he is." They remained motionless, staring at me and I fumed before moving towards the control panel myself. The mustached soldier immediately moved into my way and I gritted my teeth in agitation.

"It could be an Imperial Probe Droid, Your Highness, or a sp-"

"I don't give a pile of fodder if it's a probe droid!" I nearly screamed in his face and banged against the unyielding doors. "CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! HAN! Han! Han...you're out there, aren't you? Han..." I was on the verge of hysteria and I charged at the panel again, but this time they were ready. Two men easily lifted me up and I thrashed in fury, another reason for hating my meager weight and strength.

"Open the door," sighed a man, and I whipped my head around as far as I could see to find Rieekan walking towards us.

"Carlist, Carlist," I nearly sobbed. "Tell them that he's out there..."

"Sir, the risks of being captured-"

"Nothing's gonna be out here on a blizzard. Open the doors."

The officer grimaced, hesitating before turning around and activating the panel. The doors began to groan as they slowly slid apart.

My heart rose as the sillhouette of the Falcon was emerging against the gray sky.

And a familiar figure, staggering down the gangway...

Now I was cradled in his arms, forcing tears not to fall as he murmured nonsensical, comforting things into my ear. He grasped my forearms and started to pry me away from him but I winced, the bruises from the assault against the blast shields now starting to make their presence known.

"What happened?" he asked, hazel eyes immediately darting to my face, studying what was probably a pained expression. I shook my head, a small smile on my face.

"More like what happened to you." I chided lightly. He shrugged modestly, looking away from my eyes, but I could tell he appreciated the thorough staring at his own expression. I laughed softly and suddenly his head turned to look at me, eyes wide.

"I missed that laugh," he murmured, taking a hold of my hands. I smiled shyly and he leaned in, looking a bit dreamy. "And that smile."

By then I started to blush and I happened to glance about at our surroundings.

Five officers and Rieekan were staring at us. The officers looked rather dumbstruck, but Rieekan almost had a small smile on his face, and he looked rather exasperated. A further study yielded the man from the radio-receiver standing behind Han with an openly jealous stare.

I pulled away immediately, face flushing. Han watched me with a disappointed look on his face. We stood like that for a bit longer, him watching, I avoiding his gaze. After a moment he waved a dismissive hand, rolling his eyes.

"...would be nice if you acknowledge your interest in me for once..."

"Interest!" I sputtered, but he only sauntered away, his laugh echoing through the hangar.

That laugh echoed in my mind for a long time afterwards.


Yay. Glad I got that done...

Reviews? And predictions [because I still don't know how this story will go X)] are welcome...