Chapter 2: Longing
Days folded into months and months folded into years until the boy finally grew older, into a talented young man. The girl found out that he actually went through a really difficult time just about after she came to take care of him. He had a special bloodline and being unable to control his powers, he ended up killing his parents and orphaning himself. Then wandering around, he came under the care of a devilish man named Zabuza. The girl really doesn't understand why she didn't come to look over him when he was born.
She may have been able to prevent the disaster. But perhaps, fate has a funny way of telling us that these things happen for a reason.
While the seasons changed, she figured out the extent of her own powers. She could stop a kunai from hitting him by mere centimeters, or she could move a small branch so that he doesn't trip over it. Her powers were small and nearly insignificant but she feels that she is helping as much as she can. Watching Haku grow, she feels attached to him, wondering if she had anything to do with how handsome he became, but stopped wondering and gave herself credit for it anyway. Sometimes she walks next to him and keeps him warm.
She has come no closer to understanding herself than she was ten years ago. Still not an inkling of her past or how she came to be what she is can be found and she finally decides that she will simply focus on Haku and forget about herself. Though at moments she feels empty like a void but there are moments where she walks beside him and he turns her direction and smiles. She feels her heart skip a beat or two (if she had one) and flushes; those moments fill up the empty ones.
It snows more often than not, and it snows more often than the sun shines when she follows Haku around but something about the snow is beautiful and suits him well. She was unable to stop him from going with Zabuza who is using him as a killing machine. She didn't want his hands to be bloodied by the sin of murder but she did not know what she could possibly do. She could only move branches and give off the slightest amount of warmth. She could hardly do anything.
"Is someone there?"
The girl swallows fast and stops moving immediately.
Haku frowns," Why does it feel like I'm being followed…? Yet I cannot sense a single strand of chakra."
She quickly moves beside a tree and kicks a branch.
"Ah. Must be a squirrel. I'm imagining things much too often." Haku whispers to himself quietly.
It is a day of rest for him and he is napping and eating in a meadow deep in the forest. He is wearing a dark blue yukata with small fish designs on it and his long dark hair is tied back in a bun.
"I really don't understand how he can know I am here… I am a guardian angel, am I not? There is no way that he could possibly know. It's just not possible…" The girl thinks to herself. She peeks out at him from behind a tree and laughs to herself," Why am I hiding? He can't see me."
Haku's head suddenly snaps around in her direction," I know someone is there. Come out!"
Her heart is suddenly beating at the speed of a terrified gazelle," H-how can this be? Can he really…?"
Haku takes out a kunai," Come out right now. I can see your hair."
"My hair…?" The girl walks out from behind the tree and suddenly she is hit with what feels like a thousand weights. She falls to the ground and feels the pain of the earth beneath her hands.
"Hands…?" She stares intently at herself and her hands, trembling, reaches back to feel that she actually has long strands of black hair. "How can this be?"
Haku puts his kunai away and smiles," Ah it's just a girl. Sorry if I scared you."
"You can see me…?"
He looks at her in surprise," Of course I can. Were you trying to hide from me?"
"N-no I wasn't."
The girl finds herself unable to stand up and the feeling of earth and air is so unfamiliar. The feeling of blood running through veins and the low tremble of vibrations in her ears; everything is so blindingly beautiful and unfamiliar.
"What's your name?" Haku pauses for a moment and smiles," I feel like I know you."
Her face flushes deep crimson," Th-that's not possible!"
He laughs," Alright, alright. Well at least tell me your name."
She looks down, embarrassed, and murmurs," I do not have a name."
"You don't have one…? Well that won't do. You look younger than me by only a year or two, you must have a name."
"I do not." She sits in front of him, unsure of how to stand properly.
"Why not?"
"I guess you could say it's like… I was born only recently."
Haku stares at her for a moment and laughs again," You sure are strange. You were born recently? Then would that make me your mother?"
"N-no!"
"Alright well, can I at least give you a name?"
"I-I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have one."
"Well, what is precious to you?"
"Precious?"
"You know, something important."
"I… I guess I wouldn't really know if I was just born today. But I do love this earth."
Haku looks around and sees a beautiful white camellia growing near him and touches it," How about Tsubaki? Do you like that name?"
"Is there a meaning behind it?"
"White Tsubaki flowers stand for longing."
"Isn't that a bit sad?"
"Is it? I think it's rather beautiful. Can I call you Tsubaki then?"
The girl blushes and nods.
"Well then it was nice to meet you, Tsubaki." Haku stands up to leave.
"Ahm, it was nice to meet you too, Haku."
He looks at her for a second and smiles," Good bye."
She watches as he walks away and his figure becomes paler and disappears completely into the distance. Tsubaki, with her new found name, and new found earthly form feels delighted to have been able to meet him in person but now what is she going to do as a guardian angel who came to life?
She manages to crawl to a nearby pond and stares at her features in the murky reflection. She touches her small face with dirty hands and stares at herself in awe. So this is what she looks like? Not bad I suppose, she thinks. Her eyes are almond shaped with brown orbs inside, swimming with bright curiosity. Her hair is long and can nearly touch the tip of the water. She examines her body parts and finds her limbs are rather short, but she accepts it.
"Should I question why all of this is happening? My life as it is now is a huge and total mystery to me, but I've been rather accepting… I guess there is no point thinking of things I can never understand…" She lies back on the wet grass and feels the coolness of it touch the back of her neck.
"I never told her my name." Haku ponders to himself.
(The light of my spirit is dim
And cannot even be lit by the brightest firefly
I fall back and gaze longingly at the moon
Yearning breaks my heart.)
