Smack

Lane paced back and forth fanatically, running his hands through his hair and shaking his head. Tori, Beck, André, Jade and Cat waited expectantly. Tori could feel cold tendrils snaking around her stomach. She'd never seen Lane like this before. It was more than slightly unnerving.

"I still can't believe you did this," he said finally, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. "And on the last day before exams, too. So close."

"How do you know it was us?" Jade demanded sulkily.

"Jade, you still have a Louisville Slugger in your hand!" he exploded.

Jade threw it onto the couch beside her. "Circumstantial."

"I don't care!" He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he was abruptly, eerily calm. "I really don't want to do this."

"So don't."

He shot her a look that was downright evil, and then continued coolly, "You've given me no choice. Beck Oliver, Tori Vega, Cat Valentine, André Harris and Jade West, for vandalizing a car and brawling in the parking lot I'm sentencing you to community service at Cloud Valley Dude Ranch."

There was a moment of shocked silence, broken by Tori's spluttering. "Dude Ranch? As in, like, sheep and cows and stuff?"

"Specifically, horses." At this point, Lane seemed almost cheerful. "You'll be caring for a barn full of horses, two foals, and a pregnant mare. The owner is a personal friend of mine."

Tori was still spluttering. "But – but – that was my car! I'm the victim here – what did I do?"

"You started it," Jade hissed. Beck grabbed her arm and shot her a warning look.

"Tori, I saw you and Jade fighting," Lane said, shaking his hands. "You had her by the extensions – I honestly believe you would have torn her hair out by the roots if I hadn't come along."

She glared at Jade. "At least I would've won."

He pointed his finger at her as if she'd just proved his point. "There! That is exactly what I mean! Now you guys have been fighting ever since you met – maybe getting out of the school setting will let you work that out."

"By setting a mustang on her, maybe," Jade growled.

Beck rolled his eyes, standing. "But what did I do?"

Lane was obviously growing impatient, wagging a finger between him and Jade. "You two have got the worst relationship Hollywood Arts has ever seen. Maybe you can get some couples therapy while you're up there . . . or at least some distance."

"We don't want separation," Jade snapped.

"Well –"

Smack.

"I was kidding!" Beck complained, rubbing the back of his head. She folded her arms, unconvinced.

André stood, too. "What did me and Cat do? We were just there!"

"Exactly. Just – just go, okay? I think it'll be good for you guys. End of discussion." He turned back to his papers. There was nothing else for them to do besides file out the door, shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I can't believe this," André muttered.

"What did I do?" Cat asked, confused.

"Nothing," Beck said, rubbing his nose and shooting Jade a very sour look. She rounded on him instantly.

"Oh sure, blame me."

"You're the one who took the baseball bat to Tori's convertible!"

"She started it!"

"Drop it!" Tori snapped, throwing her hands up. "It's not gonna change anything. We're just gonna have to grin and bear it." Definitely no grins. "Come on, you guys, haven't you ever dreamed of being cowboys? Or cowgirls?"

No one answered. They reached the corner and split off warily. Jade beckoned imperiously to Beck, and he followed resignedly. André gestured to Tori, and Cat followed them to lunch.

Jade looked darkly over her shoulder after them. "'Good for you'," she muttered. "Like hell for a sinner."

. . .

Calling all reviewers! Calling all reviewers!
I have been and still am busybusybusyBUSY, and as you've probably figured out business is the death of creativity. That's why I am enlisting your help. I have some ideas, but what horrors await our intrepid quintet (soon to be a septet, hint hint)? Post ideas as reviews, and I'll sort through and get in touch with the best ideas. Don't be offended if I don't respond right away, because that probably just means that I am still, as always, busybusybusyBUSY.

THANK YOU!
~AmbyrRose