Episode 2: Simon & Jeanette
I walk onto the stage again and greet, "Hey, guys! I'm Pokémon Ranger-Trainer, and tonight is the second airing of The Ranger Show!" There is cheering. I pause. When the applause dies, I announce, "Before we begin, I would like to answer some feedback. Unless viewers want shout-outs, I'll keep the feedback anonymous. One person said that the last episode was very funny. Thanks! We can only try! Second, another person said 'You are Alvin', possibly because of the hilarity of the show. If that is the case, thanks, but I am not Alvin. Also, the same person asked me how to dismantle cinnamon. Well…"
I bring a table over to the center of the stage and take out a stick of cinnamon. Since the cinnamon stick is curled up like a scroll, I unroll it. Then, I ask, "Could someone please get me a hammer?" One person on the stage crew gives me a sledge hammer, which I pound the cinnamon stick with. I say to the stage guy, "Thanks, man." I turn to the audience and say, "And that is how you dismantle cinnamon! We've got some very special guests here tonight! You know them. You love them. They love each other. They wear glasses and are cute, furry, and have bushy tails. Give it up for Simon Seville and Jeanette Miller!" The audience goes wild with enthusiasm. Some audience members are holding up poster board signs with Simon and Jeanette's faces on them.
Simon Seville and Jeanette Miller take the stage. They climb onto a comfortable white chair on the stage. I sit down in the adjacent chair. I say to the chipmunks, "Thanks for being on the show tonight, you guys."
"Thank you for having us," Jeanette thanks me sweetly.
"Oh, it's my pleasure. You two are so cute!" I reply. "My third story on this site was about you two."
"It was Jeanette's Protector. I remember," Simon smiles, probably at the good memories he and Jeanette shared in that fiction.
"It was my first Chipmunk story ever," I add. "So, what's it like to be so in love, as you two so clearly are."
"Well, it's a warm and comfortable feeling," Simon begins, "but words don't do love proper justice."
"I think it depends on the couple," Jeanette adds. "Love is warm and comfortable for us, but it might be different for other people."
"That's an excellent point," Simon says to his girlfriend.
"Why thank you, my hero," Jeanette thanks him. The two rub their noses against that of the other.
"AWW!" the studio audience coos, reacting to the affection.
"Aww! That is so cute. So, what got you to start rubbing noses like that?" I ask.
"Well, I'm not really sure. It was early in our relationship, and, uh…we just sort of…started to rub noses. Before our first kiss, that was how we showed affection for each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. We've been nose-rubbing since then," Simon answers. He looks at Jeanette's lovely lavender eyes, and she looks into his beautiful blue green eyes. They rub noses again, and then kiss briefly.
"AWW!" the audience coos again.
"You guys are so cute," I tell them.
"Thank you," Simon thanks me. He wraps an arm around Jeanette and pulls her towards him. She snuggles against his body, letting his blue sweatshirt act as a pillow.
"So, Simon, Jeanette, as chipmunks, what is it like living amongst us humans?" I ask them.
"Well, Ranger, it's quite something, really. Sometimes, given our size compared to a human's, certain aspects of life can be kind of difficult. But it certainly has its advantages. We can fit into small spaces, we typically require eating less than a human, and having fur is excellent in these cold winter months," Simon explains. "Being able to have sentience such as we do is also a blessing."
"You know, most rodents are really smart. You two are exceptionally brilliant," I say to them.
"Aww! Thank you, Ranger," Jeanette thanks cutely.
"Sentience, opposable thumbs, and a bushy tail; you chipmunks have it all," I smile.
"Why, thank you. Back to your question, being a chipmunk among humans is great. It has its good and its bad," Simon concludes.
"And how are affiliations with your siblings? Do you get along well?" I ask them each.
"Good," Jeanette answers. "My sisters and I are very close. We, uh, we do have our fights and disagreements. We do have our differences, but, uh, when the going gets tough, the Chipettes get going!"
"That's very nice, Jeanette. And you, Simon?" I ask.
"My relationship with Alvin and Theodore? Well, I suppose it's…variable. Like the Chipettes, we also have our disagreements, fights, and tiffs, or whatever you call them. Shall I go on?"
"You may if you wish," I grant.
"Well, there was the time when Alvin blew off our competition with the Chipettes for a football game. Also, I think he got angry with me when I was Simone, but a lot of that was, well, it was really a blur," Simon explains. "And let's not forget what happened last Christmas. But we always come through for each other. Alvin eventually made up our forfeit. I don't think we'll be seeing Simone anytime soon. And he tried so hard nearly all of December to make up for what happened during his little Christmas prank. That iPod, with all of my music and some really good photos pre-uploaded, was really nice of him. It came from his heart," Simon smiled at the last part. "And there was the time Theodore screamed at Jeanette and Brittany during our concert, making them cry. I understand that he was just having a hard time dealing with stress, though I still don't find that behavior acceptable. And I will admit that I get on their nerves, too."
"Ah. Fascinating. Jeanette, would you care to share anything?" I ask the Chipette.
"Well, there were those couple of times when I was living in fear of Brittany…but when you think about it, those times had more good than bad. The first time around, when she was acting like that towards me, Simon and I became a couple. And the second time around, we got even closer," Jeanette explains. "I must get on Eleanor and Brittany's nerves, too, sometimes. Eleanor didn't seem so excited when I made her the crutches and wheelchair when we got stranded on the island. She didn't even use the wheelchair! And I worked really hard on it…"
"I know you did," Simon says and grasps her paws. "It probably meant a lot to her that you cared about her well-being and mobility."
"Thanks, Simon," Jeanette thanks and hugs him. "No one is as nice and sweet to me as you are." Simon kisses the top of her head.
"So, I understand you two have little plush dolls of each other?" I ask.
"Yeah! Simon's my favorite!" Jeanette giggles.
"And I made my Mini-Jeanette in honor of this Jeanette," Simon adds and hugs the real Jeanette again.
"AWW!" the studio audience coos.
Simon and Jeanette giggle and look endearingly into each other's eyes. I say to them, "That is adorable. And Jeanette, I think your performance of 'I Promise You' by Selena Gomez and the Scene was even better than when you did 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry. I think it's a more fitting song, too."
"Thanks, Ranger," Jeanette thanks me again.
"Now, you two and your siblings have been snatched up by your tails time after time. What does that feel like?" I ask, though I am sure it is unpleasant.
"It hurts," Jeanette answers, hugging her tail.
"It makes me feel violated," Simon replies.
"And dizzy, with the blood rushing to our heads and all," Jeanette adds. "If someone ever violently grabs my tail like Ian did, I make sure to pamper my fur afterwards. You know, to try and fluff my tail again."
"You have a beautiful tail," Simon tells her.
"Thank you, Simon," Jeanette thanks him. She turns to the audience and rhetorically asks, "Isn't he sweet?"
"YES!" the audience replies.
"Sadly, we'll have to wrap this up soon, but I'll have you guys on again," I assure. "Surely, I will."
"It's been an honor," Simon smiles. "Do we have time for a question or two more?"
"If we don't, I'll make time," I say. "Simon, what was it like for you when the Chipettes moved in?"
"The second best thing that has ever happened to me," he answers.
"What's the first?" Jeanette asks him.
"The moment we declared ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend," Simon answers with a grin.
"Aww!" Jeanette hugs her boyfriend.
"Thanks for watching tonight! Next time, I have no idea!" I say. "I will say that it is a character I have used!"
A crazed fan girl tries to crawl on stage, reaching out for Simon and Jeanette, but security restrains her.
Simon picks Jeanette up in his arms and says, "Thank you all!"
"We'll see you again!" Jeanette waves.
