Mashin: Thanks for the reviews! I currently have up to chapter 5 planned, so just review if you want an update!

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho belong to their rightful owners, who are Yoshiro Togashi, and Rumiko Takahashi. The anime belongs to their rightful owners as well.


Once again, it was raining. Luckily, they had a better shelter, one that actually bothered to help keep them dry.

But it wouldn't help when you had to run out of a cave and gather food for the gang.

Slightly whimpering as another raindrop hit his tail, Shippo wrapped it around his waist to help protect the berries he had picked. There were some small containers to the side holding rainwater to boil, and there were some good herbs to get if any of them got injured.

Looking up from his task to scan his surroundings, he sighed and went back to collecting berries. Looks like Hiei's targets-a deer family-ran quite far. But that didn't mean Hiei couldn't catch them. Noo, the fire apparition just had to have super-speed as well. It reminded him of one of the characters Kagome-chan always talked about. What was the kid's name…? Dash? He couldn't remember, it was in an American film she told him about. Something called 'The Incredibles'…

Suddenly remembering that he had a job to do, Shippo accidentally popped a berry on the bush and looked around, noticing how nobody was accompanying him. Weird. Usually, there would be people following them to make sure they didn't run away. Looks like they trusted him….

Smiling, he quickly wiped his paws on his pants and went back to berry picking. Looks like he and Hiei were one step closer to their plan working….


Faster and faster, until everything around him became a blur of green and some brown. The deer were some distance away, desperately trying to escape with their lives. Well, it didn't matter, because he was faster, and they would die.

With a fairly loud battle cry, Hiei pounced upon 2 of the deer and quickly stabbed them in the throat with his overly large sword, jumping up again and stabbing the other 2 in the legs. Blood splattered around the clearing, as he quickly moved the bodies and stabbed them all in the heart.

Stepping back, he took a look at his handiwork. 2 adults and 2 fawns. Not bad. Well, not bad for a demon that didn't really want to be doing this in the first place.

Sighing, Hiei looked up at the sky, noticing how the rain started dying down. Good, it meant that he would be able to sleep peacefully tonight.

Brushing some damp bangs out of the way, he walked back to where the dead deer were, hauling a few over his shoulder and dragging one in his left hand. With a tug on the deer, he started his long trek back to the campsite.


By the time he had managed to get back to the cave clearing, the moon was faintly showing through the canvas of colors the sunset made. Now, if he were not a youkai forbidden-a child, at that, and that he wasn't being forced to make a gang's lunch, Hiei would gladly start saying some random poem crap that probably came out of his butt. But he is a forbidden child that's being forced to clean some deer.

Sighing, he continued to pull the deer and the fawns until he dropped them near the entrance of the cave, walking towards the bush Shippo was kneeling at. Weird, his hands weren't moving.

"Hey, Shippo-kun? Are you okay?"

Slowly creeping up towards the still figure, he let a small shaking hand touch the fabric on Shippo's shoulder. And with a slight twitch, the body fell to the ground with a big crash, the berries scattering everywhere.

Shocked, all Hiei could do was look at the still figure of his friend Shippo, and how his eyes were blank and distant looking, small tears forming at the edges of his eyes. Looking down, he noticed the blood splatters on the ground, slowly following the trail of trickling blood, until he noticed two deep, short cuts on the kitsune's wrist, one hand gripping a small sharp knife. His face was pale and calm looking, his mouth formed into an 'o'

Stepping back a bit, Hiei looked back at Shippo before rushing back to the cave, the blood of both the deer and his friend on his cloak.

"Somebody help! Shippo's Dead!"


It was dark. That's all he could describe it as. Dark, and he felt like he was floating in the air. Where, he didn't know. All he knew was that it was dark, he wasn't touching ground, it didn't feel like he was falling, and he felt calm. That, and the place was kinda warm.

Am I dead?

He didn't get enough time to get an answer, as a small, but bright light started floating towards him, like those pixie things in Kagome-Chan's fairy tales.

As soon as it was about an arm's length away from him, the light intensified, growing into a shape of a small child, before the light receded, engulfed into the little marble held in the hands of one very tiny human girl.

Slowly, the girl opened her eyes, showing brown, dull eyes. Her hair was a little messy, and she was wearing a pure white sundress.

"Um, who're you?" he asked.

The girl said nothing. Maybe he shouldn't have asked someone who looked like they had their soul sucked out.

After a few seconds of silence, the girl's small mouth moved.

"You're in your mind."

Shippo blinked. And blinked. There was no way his mind was this dark and empty.

"I don't think this is my mind."

Again, it was silent for a few seconds. The girl moved around, holding the white glowing marble with both hands. "It's the darkness in your mind. Not your whole mind, silly. Otherwise, there wouldn't be room for you. Or me."

He blinked again. This was getting a little confusing.

Obviously, he must have shown it, because the girl started to laugh. "Oh, don't worry. You're just here until your wrists heal up."

He blinked. "My wrists are injured?"

She looked at him confused. "Do you have amnesia? You slit your wrists picking berries, remember?"

All of a sudden, a rush of images ran through his brain, slight confusing him and leaving him confounded.


Finished with picking the berries, Shippo slowly plucked a fairly large fresh leaf from the bush and laid all the berries on it, somehow not letting one hit the dirt below.

Sighing, he looked at the small knife that was currently being held loosely in his left hand, noticing how the raindrops landed on the surface, slowly trailing off the metal until it hit the damp ground under him.

One raindrop fell to the ground, and he saw the face of his laughing friend Kagome, as she smiled and raced around in the rain.

Another fell and he saw the face of Sango, playing with Kirara in the safety of the Goshiboku tree near the well.

Once more, a raindrop fell to his feet, and he saw Miroku laughing at a spluttering wet Kagome-chan.

And one more fell, before he saw Inuyasha smiling from the safety of Kaede's hut, the smell of stew wafting through the dew-scented air.

More raindrops fell onto his feet, but these were different. They were…warm.

Instantly reaching for his eyes, he felt the moisture and trails of salty water left by the tears on his foot. Reaching with one hand to wipe them, he stopped after a while after he realized they wouldn't stop so easily.

"I miss them…I wanna go back…"

But going back wasn't an option for him anymore. He didn't want to disgrace them again, not with the fact that he could barely help at all. A burden.

That was all he was, wherever he went. A burden. Nothing more, nothing less. A useless burden.

And as if a bucket of water had been dumped onto him, he stared at the knife for a while, contemplating whether he should or not.

And slowly, but deeply, he sliced open his right wrist, the left one receiving the same treatment.

'Let me sleep…'

His eyes slowly closed shut, slightly opening before the blood came out faster.

'Let me rest…'

Somewhere above him, a bat youkai flew across the clearing, as Shippo's stiff body fell to the ground, blood splattering and soaking all his belongings.

'Let me die…'


Blinking so his eyes would come into focus, Shippo fell to his knees, his legs shaking with the energy it took to receive the memories.

"I tried to kill myself?"

The girl clicked her tongue; making the loudest noise in the space they were in. "Well, you actually succeeded."

Hearing tears fall, the girl looked down and saw the kneeling kitsune silently crying, the tears dropping in front of him. Waving her arms, she looked around before floating down beside him and rubbing his back, hearing and feeling every time his shoulders shook from another sob, and hearing how his nose sniffled when he tried to suppress the tear drops.

"Hey, hey, it's okay! That's why you're in your mind, not in Renkai being judged at the moment!"

And immedietly, right before his eyes, the girl's hair tied up into a high blue-haired ponytail, she grew into that of a teenager wearing a bright pink Kimono, and her eyes brightened up until she looked totally different from the girl he had first seen.

Shippo was left gaping at the girl. "Wha-but…how?"

Laughing, the teenager pulled back a lock of hair in the way of her eyesight, moving her hand until a brown oar appeared. "I had to take on an appearance that you were familiar with, so I didn't scare you. It's not easy, you know, to have people screaming 'bloody murder' at you."

Shippo started giggling, trying pathetically to hide it behind his hand. He didn't know why, but she had the ability to make him laugh. Maybe it was because of her accent…

Suddenly remembering why she was here, the girl bowed. "Whoops, sorry, forgot to introduce myself. Name's Botan, a…ferry-girl of Renkai. Now, you're going to be staying here until you're fine."

Stopping his giggles, Shippo looked at Botan. "Wha? You mean until my wrists heal? And by ferry-girl, do you mean shinigami?"

Botan looked at Shippo with a look in her eyes. "How do you know that?"

"I heard about you guys from my father. He'd always talk about you people, and how he saw you."

Botan was silent, trying to remember anything.

"Oh, him! I remember, he was a good fellow to talk to. But that's not why I'm here."

"It isn't?"

"No, it isn't. I'm here, because of this wound."

Botan reached up and softly poked him in the chest, where his heart was.

Now Shippo was downright confused. Weren't his wrists injured? Did he stab himself in the heart or something?

"I thought it was my wrists."

That earned him a giggle from Botan.

"Oh, there are other wounds than physical ones. Don't you know about emotional wounds?"

It was silent.

She shook her head, waving her hand. "Never mind. Anyways, I heard you had some problems, and that's why you ended up in the bandit group."

Shippo's eyes dulled, his head bowed once more as he stared at his feet. "I wasn't strong enough."

"That it? C'mon Shippo, that can't be all."

Shippo shook his head. "No! It's just… I want to be strong, so I can protect the others. I'm older that the humans in our –past- group, but I'm weaker! It doesn't make sense! I thought I was supposed to be strong, like 'Tou-san! I thought I was supposed to protect people!"

He was crying now, he could feel the tears drop. They fell in big splatters, hitting the fabric of his clothing and the fur on his legs. He was sure his face was puffy and red now.

"But what good am I, if I can't even destroy a weak lizard demon Kagome-chan could kill with her foot? How can I protect if I'm scared of my own shadow?! It doesn't make sense! I want to be strong, to protect people! I want to be like 'Tou-san!"

Slowly, the shouts died out into soft sobs and shaking of the shoulders, Botan in front of him with her arms wrapped around his shaking figure.

"Shh, shh, don't worry…"

"How can I not worry? I want to be able to protect someone, not run away and cower in fear!"

It was silent for a moment again, as Shippo slowly stopped crying. Slowly and gently, Botan released him from her grip, kneeling in front of him as she used her left hand to grasp his chin, making him stare into her eyes.

"Shippo-kun, I don't know what I can do, but I can try and get you some help when your wrists heal, so you can train. I'll try and get a kitsune to help you train. Along with your friend Hiei. Is that okay with you?"

Shippo slowly nodded, letting the information sink in. So someone was willing to help him?

"Why? Were you ordered to do this, because I won't really accept it then."

Botan softly sighed, hugging him once more. It reminded him of how Kagome would hug him whenever he had nightmares.

"Shippo-kun, nobody in Renkai even knows I'm here."

"So how did you find me?"

Botan softly smiled.

"I heard a soul crying for help."


It was nighttime, and Hiei was currently curled up around a separate fire from the huge one to his left. Shippo's still body laid to his right, and right now, he was trying not to choke on the bones of a cooked deer, left for him and Shippo when he woke up.

Sighing, he put his part of the meat down, staring at Shippo's body. They had just wrapped up the wrists, and were leaving the two in a small village a little distance away in a few weeks, when Shippo woke up. While it meant that they would finally leave, it also meant they were fresh food for youkai-eating youkai.

Muttering curses under his breath, he went back to eating his meat, occasionally looking at the fire sometimes, and how the flames danced their enticing dance.

"Shippo, why'd you try to kill yourself?"


Meanwhile, on another part of Japan, the rest of the Inu-tachi was resting in Kaede's hut, the small fire lit and the group holding onto their bowls of soup.

Kagome Higurashi was silently sipping hers', her thoughts focused on a small kitsune kit that had left them.

Sighing, he excused herself and walked outside, staring up at the rain-filled sky. It was times like this she wished Shippo was there the most, so she could take care of him if he ever got wet.

She missed him. It had been a month already, and she was half-tempted to just leave Inuyasha and find Shippo on her own. But she would have no protection, so she stayed with the group, leaving a few times in the night to continue searching.

It was weird though: The month was peaceful. Not even Naraku was trying anything.

Deciding not the jinx it, she clasped her hands in a praying position and closed her eyes, her head facing the sky where drops of rain hit her face, drenching her tired figure. Somewhere behind her, she could hear Sango telling her to get out of the rain.

And with one last look at the sky, she turned on her heel and walked off.

Shippo-kun…


Meanwhile, at the bandit camp, it was silent. Everyone had gone to sleep, thinking nothing would fight them.

The Inu-tachi was sleeping peacefully, Kagome's eyelids wet with tears.

Nobody noticed how a small, pink ball of light floated out of Kagome, nor did they see it float out the door into the rain, disappearing after it left the village.

At the bandit camp, nobody noticed the pink ball that appeared out of nowhere, floating towards Shippo and engulfing him in its' light.

And certainly nobody noticed how Shippo's eyes slowly opened, showing dull green eyes, before closing again and letting the pink glow over-take him.


Mashin: Done this one! Leave a review and tell me what you think!

Up next: The explanation on the pink glowing ball, and Shippo's new mentor.