A/N: Okay, so only like one or two of you liked Aaron. I already have a douche bag named Brian in one of my other stories. Two of you said Jason, so I think that's what we're going to go with.
This is meant purely for humor.
Okay, so this wasn't the first run in I've had with John Cena. It was maybe the third or the fourth. The previous run ins weren't enough for him to remember me, though. They were mainly him just walking to his car from the arena or driving by while I yelled at him with a bunch of other trolls.
That's one thing that I will never understand about Sign Guy. He always cheers for the faces. Why? Everyone stopped cheering for Cena years ago, yet he still continues on. I think he's the only hope for the girls these days. Keep dreaming, ladies. He'll come around soon, I hope.
I believe this one happened around Wrestlemania 22 in Chicago. Yes, that is correct. Well, John Cena was doing an autograph signing, so I went to go and wreak some havoc. You know what I did? I showed up decked out in all Triple H merchandise. Well, that's not entirely true. I wasn't wearing a Triple H t-shirt, but I'll get to that later on. I had the Triple H sweatshirt, sweatbands, and a WWE Championship belt with a Triple H name plate. Yeah, it was pretty much awesome.
They only allowed the first two hundred people in the building for the autograph session. How lame, right? I mean, Cena probably would have stayed for everyone. He's not a douche like other wrestlers, but those are stories for another time. They handed the first two hundred people tickets. Luckily, my buddy and I knew to show up very early, and we were in the first one hundred people.
Once we got up there, my buddy went before I did. He was "smart," I guess, and wore his Cena junk. I only call it junk because there's so much of it. He was wearing whatever his newest shirt was that week. He got his autograph and picture and then waited outside for me.
Time for my fun.
As I walk up to Cena, he just stares at me. He then says, "Do you really think that you're going to get an autograph coming in here like that?" I guess he didn't like ol' Tripsy. Wait…
Now was the moment I've been waiting for. Good thing there's a bunch of girls behind me. This was going to be awesome.
I gave him my own rendition of his entrance theme.
"In case you forgot or fell off
Triple H is gonna knock your block off
Your wrestling is so whack
And you can't turn your crap off
The Chain Gang's a joke, I laugh at this
It's automatic, H wins this
You'll get the Pedigree, you're finished
You're not a soldier
You'll be on the mat tapping
You ain't storming on no chumps like thunder and lighting
Ain't no way you're beating H, he's harder than nails
He's gonna put you on lock like you're part of a jail
Your in ring is stale and the competition
You've got them all wishing they could toss your ass in the pond while they go fishing
You're a lightweight because you made weight
Nothing about you is straight
Wishing Randy Orton was your soul mate
In any weather Triple H is always better
H is so hot that he can be defined with one letter
If you suck, then you suck
You're gonna drop the title belt
H will lay your ass down for the three second count
Your time is up
H's time is now
You can't see him
His time is now
He's the Game, son
Your reign is over now
You can't see him
Triple H's time is now"
Yeah, I memorized that whole thing. See, I am very dedicated to my trolling. The girls behind me were shrieking. I mean, how dare someone not like John Cena! I even got a few claps from some guys in line.
The greatest reaction was from Cena. He was actually laughing at me. "What's your name?" he asked.
"Jason."
"Jason, I like your spunk, but your wardrobe choices leave something to be desired."
It was then it hit me. "Don't worry, John. I got you covered." I took off my Triple H sweatshirt and underneath I was wearing…
SHOCKER! A JOHN CENA SHIRT!
Then again, it was from when he was more tolerable by everyone. It was the one that said "The Champ is Here" with the arrow pointing down, a must have for male fans across the world.
I think it confused him, but he seemed amused nonetheless. I guess he finally figured out that it was all a joke.
I told you that I don't hate him. He's just not a great wrestler. He's nice.
But Batista on the other hand…That guy is an asshole. I almost got arrested this one time…
A/N: I based this off of when my friend met John. He did the whole going to Chi-town thing. He didn't get a ticket and he snuck in. He was wearing a HHH sweatshirt, but he didn't rap to Cena. John said the thing about his shirt but he was wearing a Cena on under it. So that's where I derived this chapter from. I liked it.
Review.
