A/N: An inside look to Johnny's life and his parents… so read on!
Songs for this chapter: "Unwanted" by Avril Lavigne
"Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan
I shivered as the cool air brushed against me. I had my jeans jacket on; I don't go anywhere without it, but it was cold.
I was thinking about why in the world I was going to my house. That place is hell on earth. What with my Dad always beating me and my Mom always ignoring me, but when they do notice me they're yelling and everything. Why was I so… unwanted? Maybe they hated me for my friends… but they'll just have to live with that. I don't care, I thought to myself, I don't care if they don't love me. I've lied before, but when I lie to myself I don't believe it. The pressure got to me so much that I started whispering it to myself- those words had to be spoken to be believed.
"I don't care, I don't care, who cares if they love me…" I whispered, but I knew it was no use. No one could convince this fact to me. The only people on earth who love me are my friends…
I hadn't realised that I was home yet until I tripped on the stairs, unaware that they were even in front of me, and nearly hit my fact on the porch. At least my hands got there on time to prevent my nose from breaking. I quickly stood up and walked up the stairs, this time without tripping, and opened the door. There was my Dad, tanned skin, black hair and all, and I could smell the Whiskey from the door. Oh, no, I thought. He was in a bad mood, and I could tell because his tanned skin was an unusual red colour and I swear I saw steam coming out of his ears. His head jerked up in response to my entrance, even though I tried to close the door as softly as I could.
"Do you know what happened today?" he asked loudly. An improvement- he wasn't shouting like usual. When I didn't respond, he explained, his voice rising. "I got fired today! That's the fifth job in the past two months! And whose fault is that? It's yours, you retarded kid! I just had to have you, didn't I? I just HAD to have a KID!" I just stood there, dumbfounded. He suddenly stood up and grabbed my shirt, nearly tearing off my skin in the process. He then threw me to the wall, which I blocked with my scraped hands, now bleeding from the sudden contact with the rough surface. I was used to getting beaten up by him. I pretty much know all of his signature moves by now.
He suddenly turned around and started exploding. "ALEXANDRA! WHY DID YOU EVEN WANT THIS?" My Mom stormed into the room.
"WHY DID I WANT WHAT?" she yelled back.
"WHY DID YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE A KID?" he shouted.
"I DIDN'T WANT A KID, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED A KID!" she yelled so loudly she almost shook, like she was about to blow. She walked up and slapped him. His face got redder as he tackled her and they fell over the coffee table. I walked out and they didn't notice as they continued to yell at each other. I'm surprised that they haven't killed each other by now.
I continued to walk, wondering where to go. I wasn't going to hell again, I didn't want to hang by myself in the lot, and I didn't feel like hanging out with the gang. I just needed to be alone, but at the same time, I didn't.
Since there was nothing better to do, I thought. I was thinking about why my parents even had a kid when they ignore me all the time. It's a miracle I even went though a childhood without being abused to death, if you think about it. My parents were perfect for each other; they're both abusive, they hate kids, and most of all, they hate me. The only flaw in their relationship is that they hate everything so much that they're incapable of loving each other. I think they forgot to love at an early age. I'm glad that I didn't forget how to love because of the gang. They accepted me. I wasn't sure why at first, because I didn't know if I was ever going to be loved; I hardly even knew what love was because of my parents. But then I forgot about it and accepted their love.
I started to think about the one of the gang that doesn't care if he's loved or not- Dally. That's why I worship him so much; he doesn't care if he's loved. He hardly cares about anything. Sometimes I wish he would see the good in the world, like all the good Ponyboy showed me. He dug sunsets and books and stuff, and he could see that there was some good in the world. I wish he would show some of that to Dally, or that at least some of Sodapop's happy-go-lucky energy would rub off on him. I guess that Dally's seen too much to just suddenly be happy-go-lucky like Sodapop or just be funny like Two-Bit. If only Darry could show him how to use his muscles at appropriate times, or Steve tell him how to show his hatred on bad cars or something. If only Dally was my brother… he'd save me from my parents.
I was snapped back in the real world when I noticed that the sun was beginning to set. I had just noticed that I was just a few feet away from the Curtis' house when I heard the T.V. and the current wrestling match. I started running to their house, because I suddenly didn't want to be alone. I opened the gate and then the front door only to see the fight was ending.
"Well," Two-Bit said, "I'd better go home. My Mom'll flip if she makes dinner for the entire family and one member, the one who eats the most, is not present. See y'all later!" he started to walk off, almost bumping into me. "Hey, Johnnycake!" he greeted. "You missed a heck of a fight! I stomped Steve over there!" he explained as he jerked his thumb behind him, where Steve stood.
"You wish, Two-Bit! You know I won, fair and square!" Steve protested.
"Why don't you just go home and cry to your mommy, then?" Two-Bit joked.
"Because I won!" Steve argued.
"Oh, whatever. As I said, see y'all later!" Two-Bit said as he walked off.
"Hey, Johnny. Just for the record, I won." Steve greeted, then walked off to his house for dinner.
I turned to the now not-so-crowded Curtis house. Darry was probably in the kitchen, since Soda was sitting on the arm of the couch and Ponyboy was on the couch, reading.
"Hey, Johnny!" Soda greeted. "You came right after the fight! But, at least you're right on time for dinner!"
Ponyboy, noticing the change in mood, put down his book and looked up.
"Hi, Johnny!" he said. He got up to bring me in and close the door. "Are you staying for dinner?"
"Uh… sure." I agreed quietly. What else would I have to do here? I still didn't want to be alone.
"Great!" Soda cried as he leaped up. "Now I don't have to be bored because of these two!"
"I heard that!" Darry called from the kitchen.
"You were supposed to!" Soda yelled back cheerfully. "Is dinner almost ready?"
"I just finished, so come on in here!" Darry answered. Soda started running for the dining room. I looked at Ponyboy, my eyes saying Let me guess…
"Yup," Ponyboy started to explain, "he had a successful match against Steve in cards, for once in his life." He started to take my hand to guide me through the mess in the living room, and when he felt that it was a little wet and sticky, he looked at it for the first time that night. "Your dad bang you up again?"
I nodded, telling half the truth. Then I decided he deserved to know most of the blood was from the porch and not my dad. "I tripped on the porch steps and scraped my hands, then my dad threw me to the wall a few minutes later, and my hands saved me."
"Let's clean you off." Ponyboy said, deep in concern as he examined my hands more closely.
"No, I'm okay." I tried to reassure him.
"You don't want bloody food, do you? And anyway, we have to make sure you don't get bacteria stuff happening to your body." He explained, being the one to reassure me now.
I nodded, digesting what he said. He took me to the kitchen and helped me wash my hands and then we had that delicious dinner Darry made. I wanted to make sure they had enough food to do the impossible task of filling them up, so I didn't eat much. I didn't talk, either. Pony and me both, actually. Soda was talking his head off and Darry was trying to get him to shut up, so we were observant while they talked. I wondered why they even had cable when they had Sodapop…?
When we were finished dinner, Darry suggested to Ponyboy that he started his homework. I decided to go, since the place would get pretty quiet, and besides, I wanted to get enough sleep for the movie the next day.
"See y'all later, I guess." I said quietly as I left.
"See you, Johnny." They responded as they turned away from what they were doing.
I walked out the door and to the lot, shivering like heck. It was a cold night, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to fall asleep. But when I lay down on the grass, I was suddenly taken over by unconsciousness.
A/N: A little bit of a look to Johnny's life and how abusive his parents are at home, then suddenly ignore him, and how the Curtis', especially Ponyboy, care for him and love him.
Remember to R&R and on my STORY and remember what I asked you not to do in my first chapter! Thx!
