Idiot. Artemis lashed out with one hand, catching the brat by the neck. Immediately his other hand came up with the jeweled dagger. "We will not play this game anymore, do you understand?"
"Nice dagger! Are those real rubies?"
Typical bubble-head. Artemis stabbed down, but a childish voice said, "You know, you'd better let go of him or I'm gonna scream real loud and Jason Baenre is gonna whup your butt real good!"
Artemis froze. "Jason Baenre?"
"Yup! His real name is Jarsona'ellatzch but we call him Jason for short. He can whup the town guards unarmed and he's gonna whup you too! That Drizzit Durben guy said Jason was kicked outta Mentoberryzin cuz he whupped a a real importint girl and Loth was mad cuz the girl prayed to Loth but the girl was mean and she tried to whip Jason and Jason got mad and he whupped the girl and the girl's momma owned the house so she tried to give Jason to Loth for whuppin'her daughter." The scrawny little brat gasped for air. "So you'd better let go or I'm gonna yell real loud and Jason is gonna whup you or maybe Drizzit Durben's gonna whup you cuz he doesn't like Jason to fight but anyways you're in for a real whuppin'."
No wonder everyone else had failed. Some drow warrior who could beat a High Priestess of Lolth and Drizzt Do'Urden were staying here. Artemis replied, "Now you go scream loudly and call this Drizzt Do'Urden or else this brat here..."
"You're not allowed to actually hurt me, Mr. Enterity. That's a bad, bad thing to do."
"Lookit here!" cried that girl, and Artemis automatically dropped Charlie, rolled to one side, and slashed at his original position. His blade caught a water balloon.
"You're mean! I'm not playing with you anymore! I'm gonna go play with Fluffy!" wailed Charlie.
"Go play with Fluffy." Artemis opened the first door. There was the mayor, sitting in a chair, holding a dagger to his own chest.
"Are you here to kill me?" asked the mayor gleefully. "Good! Now just hold this dagger and shove straight down, okay?"
Artemis was a bit shocked. "You want to die?"
"Of course! And remember, My house to my wife, my money to be divided amongst the servants, especially that governess, God bless her. And the kids are to be sent to the worst orphanage in town, okay?"
Artemis grinned. "I don't blame you. Do you have two drow here?"
"What? Not anymore. That Dripzit fellow left Jason here a few months ago. He comes occasionally with money to pay for Jason. Just a few minutes ago he left, after Charlie put dead animals in the laundry hamper."
Artemis walked over to the mayor. It would be a relief to get out of this triple-damned house. Artemis grasped the mayor's dagger. It turned into a kitchen knife.
"Charlie. He always does things like that. I don't suppose you have a weapon?"
"Daaaaaaaa-ddeeeeeeeeeee!"The door banged open, Charlie stepping in just as Artemis was about to do it. "NO! Sic him, Cutie Pie!"
Artemis sighed, and turned around slowly. With a name like that, he was expecting a poodle.
A dragon stepped through the door.
Not a large dragon, but any dragon was big trouble, especially if they were Horntail Miniatures.
Shrinking had a very interesting effect on magic. As the container became smaller, the magic became more intense. Therefore a Miniature would not have the power and abilities of a notmal sized dragon, but about 2.53 normal dragons. As Horntails had been known to create volcanoes if they snored to hard, Artemis was not in a good situation.
"$(^^* $%$&^% &^$%^$&^$ %%^$ $%#%$E $%#$ %#^%& ^#&^%$%# $%W #@&%$( @#&^^$#& ^%$RUIF ^%#$%& ^^#%!!!" Artemis leapt out the window and charged away.
"Get'im Fluffy!" cried Charlie, rooting his Mountain Troll on.
"Son, we have to talk. When an assassin is about to kill me, one does not barge in and ruin things!"
And so, Charlie got the tanning of his life, for saving his father from certain death.
Artemis Entreri however, also had a bit of explaining to do.
Jarlaxle's Office
"And why is it that you were gone for nearly two days?" asked Jarlaxle.
"I was hired to kill someone."
"And?"
"The kid is a menace!"
Jarlaxle suddenly realized that he should have stayed in bed. "Kid? A kid stopped you, Artemis Entreri, the greatest assassin in the Surface?"
Artemis could not stand it any longer. "He sicc'ed Fluffy and Cutie Pie on me!"
The moment the words left his mouth Artemis realized something. That most certainly was not the correct comment.
Fortunately Jarlaxle, or anyone else in the room, was in no condition to do anything but gasp weakly for air.
Author's Note: Yes, that was stupid, yes, this is probably the worst story you've ever read, but please review anyway! And try to keep flame reviews down to 300 lines.
"Nice dagger! Are those real rubies?"
Typical bubble-head. Artemis stabbed down, but a childish voice said, "You know, you'd better let go of him or I'm gonna scream real loud and Jason Baenre is gonna whup your butt real good!"
Artemis froze. "Jason Baenre?"
"Yup! His real name is Jarsona'ellatzch but we call him Jason for short. He can whup the town guards unarmed and he's gonna whup you too! That Drizzit Durben guy said Jason was kicked outta Mentoberryzin cuz he whupped a a real importint girl and Loth was mad cuz the girl prayed to Loth but the girl was mean and she tried to whip Jason and Jason got mad and he whupped the girl and the girl's momma owned the house so she tried to give Jason to Loth for whuppin'her daughter." The scrawny little brat gasped for air. "So you'd better let go or I'm gonna yell real loud and Jason is gonna whup you or maybe Drizzit Durben's gonna whup you cuz he doesn't like Jason to fight but anyways you're in for a real whuppin'."
No wonder everyone else had failed. Some drow warrior who could beat a High Priestess of Lolth and Drizzt Do'Urden were staying here. Artemis replied, "Now you go scream loudly and call this Drizzt Do'Urden or else this brat here..."
"You're not allowed to actually hurt me, Mr. Enterity. That's a bad, bad thing to do."
"Lookit here!" cried that girl, and Artemis automatically dropped Charlie, rolled to one side, and slashed at his original position. His blade caught a water balloon.
"You're mean! I'm not playing with you anymore! I'm gonna go play with Fluffy!" wailed Charlie.
"Go play with Fluffy." Artemis opened the first door. There was the mayor, sitting in a chair, holding a dagger to his own chest.
"Are you here to kill me?" asked the mayor gleefully. "Good! Now just hold this dagger and shove straight down, okay?"
Artemis was a bit shocked. "You want to die?"
"Of course! And remember, My house to my wife, my money to be divided amongst the servants, especially that governess, God bless her. And the kids are to be sent to the worst orphanage in town, okay?"
Artemis grinned. "I don't blame you. Do you have two drow here?"
"What? Not anymore. That Dripzit fellow left Jason here a few months ago. He comes occasionally with money to pay for Jason. Just a few minutes ago he left, after Charlie put dead animals in the laundry hamper."
Artemis walked over to the mayor. It would be a relief to get out of this triple-damned house. Artemis grasped the mayor's dagger. It turned into a kitchen knife.
"Charlie. He always does things like that. I don't suppose you have a weapon?"
"Daaaaaaaa-ddeeeeeeeeeee!"The door banged open, Charlie stepping in just as Artemis was about to do it. "NO! Sic him, Cutie Pie!"
Artemis sighed, and turned around slowly. With a name like that, he was expecting a poodle.
A dragon stepped through the door.
Not a large dragon, but any dragon was big trouble, especially if they were Horntail Miniatures.
Shrinking had a very interesting effect on magic. As the container became smaller, the magic became more intense. Therefore a Miniature would not have the power and abilities of a notmal sized dragon, but about 2.53 normal dragons. As Horntails had been known to create volcanoes if they snored to hard, Artemis was not in a good situation.
"$(^^* $%$&^% &^$%^$&^$ %%^$ $%#%$E $%#$ %#^%& ^#&^%$%# $%W #@&%$( @#&^^$#& ^%$RUIF ^%#$%& ^^#%!!!" Artemis leapt out the window and charged away.
"Get'im Fluffy!" cried Charlie, rooting his Mountain Troll on.
"Son, we have to talk. When an assassin is about to kill me, one does not barge in and ruin things!"
And so, Charlie got the tanning of his life, for saving his father from certain death.
Artemis Entreri however, also had a bit of explaining to do.
Jarlaxle's Office
"And why is it that you were gone for nearly two days?" asked Jarlaxle.
"I was hired to kill someone."
"And?"
"The kid is a menace!"
Jarlaxle suddenly realized that he should have stayed in bed. "Kid? A kid stopped you, Artemis Entreri, the greatest assassin in the Surface?"
Artemis could not stand it any longer. "He sicc'ed Fluffy and Cutie Pie on me!"
The moment the words left his mouth Artemis realized something. That most certainly was not the correct comment.
Fortunately Jarlaxle, or anyone else in the room, was in no condition to do anything but gasp weakly for air.
Author's Note: Yes, that was stupid, yes, this is probably the worst story you've ever read, but please review anyway! And try to keep flame reviews down to 300 lines.
