Alla Breve
Chapter 1: The First Time Again
Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
~William Faulkner
Remembering sucks.
It's not the memories, horrible though they may be. It's the fucking head-splitting, vomit-inducing migraine from hell that's the real problem.
I mean, there's some hundreds of years of memories that – all of a sudden – gets imprinted on your brain. It hurts.
Not really surprised, are you? I wonder if you knew me, sometime in the distant future.
See, I can't even remember the first time – my first life. I know I did things: fighting Sasuke, going to the Chuunin exams… But I don't remember any of that. There are some things I remember clearly, though. And that would be the cause of my case of screaming-lunatic-in-head.
And it gets worse every time. New memories, you know?
No, you don't. At least, not yet.
The haze of pain lifted, and so did my eyes.
I knew what I'd see, of course, having done so too many times to count. Only my head hurt – my body was once again young. Renewed life, that's what I like to think of it as. No aching joints, no battle wounds… youth wasn't wasted on me.
A bed. How long was it since I had a bed? Well, however long ago it may have been, I was lying in one now. As always. I remembered scorched buildings, bloody bodies and restless nights. There were no beds then.
But those memories were obscure – I wasn't sure they had happened at all. This too, was a regular occurrence. It was pretty hard, after all, to remember something that hadn't happened yet… and maybe wouldn't happen at all.
It's to protect your mind, Naruto!
Hmm… some medic nin, most likely. Still, I remembered enough.
I crawled out of bed. There were things to do. Too important to stay in bed. Damnably tempting, but I knew from experience that every second of time counted.
End of the world, here I come!
I'll try and stop it, but I never seem to be able to. Sad, isn't it? A couple of hundred years to figure out a plan to stop the apocalypse – and it never works. Strange what a music box and a broken clock can do. I had the clock. The owner of the music box – of course – had to have been smart and strong enough to find it, and stupid enough to open it. Wait… it's nearly time now.
I brace myself on the nearby wall. And, yes, here it is. Sudden exhaustion. I distantly hear the roar of the Kyuubi as its energy is consumed, but I don't pay much attention to it.
It's the time travel, understand. It costs a lot of energy. Kyuubi has a lot of chakra. Which is energy. Get the picture?
I vomited from the bout of nausea. Disgusting. And unexpected. I wish I had some water. This hadn't happened the last time around. Shit. I was already changing the timeline. Knowledge of future events was useless – time is mutable. My very existence here proves that. Still, it would have been nice to be omniscient.
I shakily wiped my mouth. I was weak. Weaker than normal – but that was fine. I'd regain strength soon enough.
Checking my equipment, I prepared to face the world-that-had-not-ended. My appearance was not exactly befitting that of a man who had seen the end of the world (if only for a split second), nor one who had, inadvertently, caused it.
Nonetheless, I opened the bedroom door, somehow expecting that the world was surprised to see me. Then, a sharp pain in my neck. I realized that someone was expecting me and, too late, that I had just been decapitated.
Time demons. They are, without doubt, the bane of time travelers.
When a person mucks about with time, they should expect consequences. Like demons who decapitate you.
It's for a good cause – they prevent chronological paradox. Still, they are fucking annoying. See, they're attracted to temporal disturbances. Which I supply, simply by existing. Then they try to erase the root of the disturbance. Me. They don't normally succeed – they're a pretty weak type of demon, but if they get the drop on you, then your head is going to be the next thing that gets dropped.
They don't realize (being mindless and all – a requirement in their line of duty) that I'll just wake up again, in the same bed, after fixing a broken clock. Only, with a bigger headache.
And a strange desire to kill something.
It didn't take him very long. Naruto had done it a hundred thousand times before, after all. And there it sat, the clock – that hellish clock – so beguilingly innocent. A small, circular thing it was, face pristinely white, hands so dark that Naruto felt as though he was looking at the face of eternity itself.
Are you still trying to find eternity? How foolish.
All he had to do now… He held the clock tenderly, and slowly began to wind it. He grunted – it took all of his strength to turn the key.
There are some things which should never be done.
–click –
The winding was complete. And in front of Naruto's suddenly calm eyes, the clock started.
–tock –
And in that first second of eternity, Naruto remembered.
Okay. Migraine, bed, urge to kill – check.
That was one of the shortest lives I've ever lived. I felt my neck with my hand, but there was nothing unusual there. No scar. Good – would've been hard to explain to people, otherwise. No phantom pain, either.
So I got up, checked my equipment, and opened the door.
Yep. Nothing was there. Time demons don't generally visit the same place twice – in the same time. I then sit on the floor, waiting for the exhaustion to set in.
Just as bad as always.
I should mention, for the sake of time travelers everywhere, that cheating death by traveling in time is not recommended. It's not an easy process. First, you have to find Time. This is very difficult to do. And once you find her, you realize something. She is a bitch.
To make a long story short, it ends with you destroying the whole fucking world – then you wake up and do it again. And again. Plus, you've got to know the hiraishin no jutsu, otherwise there's no point in even trying to time travel. Speed of light and all that jazz.
By the way, for the record, the time is now 11:32. Forty-two seconds. This is important, because in precisely three minutes, Kakashi will sneeze violently, allowing for a quick shunshin to escape his notice.
Not all future knowledge is useless. Hell, getting some sex is easy if you've had years to, well, do it. I frowned. Hormones were nice and all, but they get in the way of saving the world. Not that I've been able to save it, or anything.
The tiredness passed. I got up and walked briskly downstairs. I had saved Tazuna's family – I sure as hell deserved some food. So I grabbed what food I could find, and then waited.
I brushed imaginary lint off my clothes, stretched a little bit, and took a bite out of an absolutely delicious piece of apple pie. I'd forgotten about that.
Remember it, never know when you're going to be in need of a quick fix. I'd laugh at that, except it wasn't really funny.
11:35, forty-two seconds. Sure that Kakashi was gearing up to sneeze, I quickly teleported out of there. No way was I going to be a genin for another four years.
Missing nin – much more prestigious.
I appear in Yellow River Country. It's somewhere between Fire Country and Lightning Country. It mainly produced rice. Its only other exports were drugs and prostitutes. Strange, but it also had an atmosphere of homeliness, which I suppose other people find attractive, so it seems to import tourists. For me, its value lies in its insignificance.
And its large number of entirely abandoned rice paddies – perfect for a quick teleportation jutsu.
Speaking of which:
"Nice of you to come, Yugito." I hoped that my voice sounded suave, but pre-puberty meant having to deal with an irritatingly nasal voice again. Puberty would be worse, though.
There was no hiss of surprise – though I fancied I could hear a brief intake of breath. She was a professional, come to think of it. Why she had gasped last time – that was the real question.
"Come on, Yugito," now my voice just sounded whiny, "I already know you're there."
I turn around, and she revealed herself, dropping her hasty genjutsu. If I didn't think it would get me killed, I would have rolled my eyes. Maybe she wasn't a professional. She should have demanded I put up my own illusion – it would have helped with the whole 'secret mission' thing. Then again, if I hadn't been me, I might have pretended to do an illusions, and instead kill her. I shrug; such was the life of a ninja.
"How did you know I was here?" Her tone was cold, but there was a hint of curiosity hidden within it.
I answered honestly. "I can smell you."
True – but being in possession of a certain clock probably had something to do with it to.
Dear child, this clock is my gift to you.
There was silence, while she contemplated what to do. Since I already knew her plan – a shadow clone behind me and then a kunai up my skull – I decided to preempt her.
"You're hot."
Ah, there was the expression I was looking for. Seriously though, she was a looker.
"What?" Oh, my. Was that a blush? "Are you an idiot or something?"
Okay, not embarrassment. Anger. I could live with that. Last time she had blushed, though. Did I forget to tie my shoelaces or something? Since I had most likely accelerated her murderous plans, I skipped the part where I asked her to marry me (never worked).
I winked and said, "You smell like lilies." Drat. That didn't come out as charmingly as I would have liked it to. Feeling her gathering her chakra (the whole shadow clone thing seemed to have been abandoned in favor of something far more painful) I got to the whole reason I was there. I had an important message to give.
"Where lilies grow, the river flows. Also, you really shouldn't wear Mai-Mai undergarments. Those are for kids."
Then I gave her my most rakish, debonair smile (it probably looked awkward as hell on me) and shunshined the hell out of there.
"How did you kno-"
Pity. I would have liked to see the expression on her face.
AN: So the adventure begins. A couple of questions are introduced, none are answered.
Don't expect updates as fast as this one.
Read and review, as always.
