Return to Mother or Die (pt. 2)

Just kidding. Then, the random dragon on top of the Gershwin theatre (where Wicked was) shot out fire. Now Elphie was black, not green, as was Galinda, with a "ga". Then the Magic felt fairy came out of nowhere and went "POOF! YOU ARE NOW A GRILLED CHEESE SALAD! BUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! CHEESESAL-'' Then died. (side quote: -.0 Pete, wtf is with this??) The clothe was like dead now, "LET US Rejoicify." Said Glinda. Blair ate my pen so then I had no pen 0 But then I got another one. The giant came down from the beanstalk and saw Kristin. "O HOW CAN THIS CHILD BE TALLER THEN ME?!" he screamed. "I DON'T CARE!!!" "YOOHOO!"

Gabby said. White chocolate rained from the sky. Then the Banana children were covered in white chocolate. "WEEEHAW!" Everyone's a little bit Californian including Raistlin, even though he had asploded.

However, all of our beloved exploded dead cow-platypus-black-witches were having fun with the machines in the Abyss. Dalamar and Gabby began to flirt, then found a room…you can guess how that turned out. Black robbed.

WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU NEWS FROM JESSE. "WILL YOU GO TO THE PROM WITH ME?!?! (and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance)" NOW BACK TO OUR REGULLARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

Mages, with Gab…they had always made her want to take off her pants, because of course, mages don't have pants like Me. Flynn's poofy pants. Then Yazoo appeared and Sephy and Cloud were officially found out to be as straight as a circle. They then all put on rubber gloves and became a beautiful threesome! Purple bananas rained from the sky and everyone watched Little Einsteins. But, when it came time to help the rocket fly it crashed because the STUPID PEOPLE wouldn't pat pat pat. Instead, they were watching Raistlin.

Sex. They went into the submarine thing and ate tacos Gir was there and he also, ate tacos. But, Yazoo put bananas in his taco Cloud put cows and Sephy put mongeese in his soup, monkeys and crackers loopdy loop. BUM BUM BUUUUUM. The purple pot-head monkey came out of the maroon and killed Cheany (sp?) Aww…now we have no gov't So then Mr. Scone became perisedent of America. Then…

Umm…uh…stuff happened. We uh…launched a bomb to mars and thus began a war with the populationless planet…they lost. Joy!

Then a bear came out of nowhere and killed everyone. Everyone, except Sephy-poo. Er ist ganz prima. Kadaj ist ganz blöd und ich finde blod-head hässlich. Stupid Kadaj. Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid. He is so pretty, though. Ahhhhh… BUT SEPHIROTH. HE IS BEAUTIFUL.

(Godmother Kristin did so write this) Speaking of stupid Kadaj (haha) on lovely morning acid rain fell from the sky. Kadaj and Aerith were seen at the park doing dirty WICKED thing, because in the blurriness of the rain Kadaj thought Aerith was Mother…again. Stupid-head. He was "grabbing" her chest screaming "Mother." Aerith was so kind she let him use both hands this time. "Oh Mother!" Kadaj shouted. "You have such lovely-'' his sentence was cut off when Andy McDonald's Dotson Station wagon landed on their heads. Whaaaaat

Kay, any way In the purple Submarine, Yazoo and Reno finally started their clogging competition. They clogged all night long. But, Yazoo was nice enough to call it a 5: schifty five and went home to Gilat and then they had cookie snusnu while eating "hot chocolate" (j And the spleen in the jar was watching them, having fun.

I like eggs and men. In bed. Next, Bill Clinton got a boob job and screwed Gandhi. While he was cheating on his wife with Oprah.

Oprah shuved French fries up her ass and Bill Clinton suddenly got pulled down into the underworld to be at the bar pole dancing. EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!! Bop bop bop bop bop. Meanwhile, Oprah, trying to pull the French fries out of her ass got ran over by Cloud's motorcycle. "I ran over Oprah!!" shouted Cloud being chased by Kadaj, Laz, (how does he spell Loz wrong?) and Yazoo. Bang!!! Bang!! Bang! Cloud's goggles (what a freakin' bad speller) flung off of his head. "Stop banging me," said Cloud while his hair waved through the air like a sexxy bitch. "No cloud, you mush (he spelled 'must' wrong) join us. You must rejoin with Mother. All because so you can see Mother and Sephiroth hugging nekkid in the showeris (he added an 'I' to showers; what an idiot) And also because we LOVE YOU!!!

(This is the part where is starts to get good; written by Café) Uhm, well if you've seen Mother show this marvelous picture of her and HER 31 year old son hugging each other Naked/Nekkid, then well you know the rest of the story. But I'll tell you anyway. Mother simply invited him to her house through Kadaj. Sephiroth, Café's father, accepted her invitation and Mother told him to come to the showers naked. She had a surprise instored for him. Sephiroth walks into the shower and gets a hug from his dear Mother. They had a good hug long enough for the photographers to take a picture of them. Café got tired of waiting in the car so she goes into Mother's castle and finds Sephiroth and Mother holding each other sexually. Café's mind was just recovering from the incident the other day…uhm the one with Cloud in it…anyway now she has realized that her family was just a sick family she then… (side quote: Wha?)

(This, by far is the grossest and wrongest part of this story. Those who dare to venture on will be greatly awarded with more humorous stories and bad spelling and grammar. Mother finds this part personally the worst, so feel free to skip it)

(This part of the story is brought to you by Café's Long Lost Brother)…took a long ass dildo and shoved it deep within the depths of her hot, wet, and throbbing vagina. Some retarded perverts then walked in and died…because Café farted while masturbating…then the bloody monsters from Sephiroth's crater organized a raving party and Mother, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Cloud, Vincent, and the rest of the rejects from FFVII aren't invited…Haha…but the rest of the world was invited and KniveS, KrimZon RaZoR and Syphon were the Star ravers so the FFVII crew went emo and cried and cut themselves all night during the rave because they know they're missing a lot in the biggest rave in all of mother fucking bloody Midgar! And you know there will be a lot of sex because Girls Gone Wild was there…Then after the party…

Vincent had to have surgery because he had a mulberry (I think that's what she was trying to say) crayon stuck up his butt. Mother and Sephiroth visited the hospital that day for completely unrelated reasons, and upon hearing Vincent's agonized screams, mistakenly thought he was giving birth to another hamster. They ran down the hall, passing the decapitated heads of KniveS, KrimZon, RaZoR, and Syphon mounted on the wall. Sephiroth and Mother burst into the room to reveal the horrifying, scarring, and rather icky scene of

Yazoo eating StrawBERRIES The kid from that animation that looks like Tommy started screaming. He took out an AK-47 out from under his diaper & blew Yazoo away with a rat-a-tat-tat, then he ran out of bullets and he ran away and then Sephy and Mother came to save the da-ay. THIS IS THE ULT- Okay and then Amanda farted and died then the same kid named Will started singing about how popular he was so this other girl named Eloise went like this: o.O and ran away, putting duct tape on his mouth. HOW LUCKY WE ARE!! Charlie the molester squealed as MJ walked up. They started molesting each other when

The man in a trashcan came. The man in a trashcan (who rose up from the grave, knocking Mr. Flynn and Drizzt off his casket) the man in a trashcan had been plotting his revenge on the world for locking him away so he stole Jackie Chan's magical talismans and used the one to blow all the plushies up. Unfortunately he used the wrong one and brought all the plushies to life. Raistlin plushie started crawling up Gabby sleve (Gabby's sleeve) of her sweatshirt and removed her robes. Unfortunately Gabby had still not made Raistlin plush any underwear. Mean while Sephiroth plushie decided to take a nap in Mother-Grace's bed…with Mother Grace. Unfortunately, Denzel was Already there…tt Kadaj plushie also climbed into Amanda's bed, but they didn't do anything because Kadaj's clothes were sewn on…

He couldn't take them off to show Amanda all his "stuffing" and spleen. Don't forget the spleen. Spleen Spleen Spleen…SPLEEN!! Where…Poor Kadaj didn't have a spleen :O so Amanda dumped him for Sephy-poo's "wenis" (his wenis has a mind of its own) and then Amanda and the wenis dominated the world with…CURLY Straws…-le gaspith- And yes, the wenis had it's own spoogly specialy hair. Splee!...

Spartan Army Boy then boilizationify (?) Sephy-poo's wenis in hot, nacho cheese, than ate it. Then uh…Amanda (whoever THAT is) mourned as she watched he love pig be devained (what the hell did this person write) by Spartan Army Boy.

One day a little girl was walking down the road. She walked for a mile then…DIED! MUAHAHAA! Well…we never finished our SPOT story.

Then the fly on the wall exploded, after making a meow noise. Spot ran in circles. Wait, what Just happened? Fartz! Hoopla.

…Yeah. Okay then…Yazoo and his band of banana loving space monkeys went to Dave Wittenberg's house and destroyed him. Mr. Lelyveld was killed in a fiery accident and no one lived and they died happily ever after.

YAY!! Then everyone died after getting acne because oil spilt everywhere. We loved butter, you monkey. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU! Baby boirn wath born & exploded in her mothers arms. OO NUU! It was raining, so Dalamar and Raistlin were inside "doing things". Wink. The clock chimed 57 and people went "WHA!" Then McDougal Littel sighed, saying"

Ummmm…Then Everyone DIED! No, REALLY! Everyone landed up on the lifastreama. Since everyone was dead (except Cloud, he's not that special) they all had a death day party and everyone entertained themselves by staring at Zack wiggle his big butt…

Cloud watched in amazement (after killing himself) at Zack's butt.

Now for the story of Bob the Ball: Bob was funny kickball who was bestest friends with a funny kid named Tommy. One day Tommy forgot his meds and kicked Bob really far! Bob landed in the middle of an unknown street and wondered, "Where am I?" then came the truck that popped Bob and left him to die in the middle of the road. There he lay to bleed and have dogs pee on him. Then, Richy the nice hobo found Bob and fixed him using the magic of Duct Tape. He was as good as new! Richy brought Bob to the park where he lived, but first taught him about crossing the street: "Let's sing a song about safety, cause safety is important. Look both ways before crossing the street, don't hop out in front of Hat Jeep! Watch out for the giant Lesbian, who lives in the sewer. She'll grab your legs and you won't get away cause her grip is too strong she works out everyday. Let's sing a song about safety." That was gay. So they are now at the park and guess who they found there! Peter! Pete came running over saying, "Bob, Bob I missed you!" Bob said, "I missed you to, but if you ever kick me that far again, I'll fking kill you. We must get home before the dinosaurs arrive." But then, two gigantic tyrannosaurs got there. Tyrannosaurs…WITH HATS! Dino #1 said, Raaaaarrr!" while Dino #2 just stood there you know, trying to look cool. "Where's Pete?"

The End of Pt 2

See you in Pt 3 (or else)

Will Bob ever find Pete? Why did Tommy's name change to Pete? What the heck is going on?

Find out in the next installment of Return to Mother or Die!