The First Time He Told Her He Loved Her

The Narnians were once more engaged in battle with their Calormene neighbors. As Peter lay on the divan in his tent, he thought of Susan.

He reminisced.

It was a Narnian summer. She was sixteen, he was seventeen. The days and nights were hot and humid and Susan decided to take a stroll on the beach to cool herself and Peter had asked if he could join her. The High Queen happily gave him a nod of consent. They waded in some shallow pools within some alcove. They swam. They walked on the sand hand in hand. Susan's wet clothes clung to her body, revealing her luscious form. Every curve was accentuated. Every mountain and every valley of her body was revealed. Peter gasped. But it was no longer lust as had been the case years ago. It was love. Love. A painful love he had suffered silently. Alone. Now, he thought, was a time to change everything. But his logical self—yes, he too, like Susan, was logical at times—protested at the thought. This wasn't right. They were brother and sister. It would ruin everything. It would be a scandal. Palace intrigue. What decent king would take his sister as a paramour? He would never hear the end of it.

But he held his ground. He wanted to her know. If he should tarnish his position and reputation in the name of love then so be it—he would. He could take it no longer. They walked in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Susan shivered. He offered her his cloak and she accepted, wrapping it about her. Peter gulped. It was now or never. He had to tell her.

"Susan, I," he began, but he could not say it.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"By all means! What is it about?"

"It's about…it's about your suitors."

Susan fell silent. She had not the slightest inkling where this conversation was headed. It scared her. She liked to think she knew where it was going. But she was unsure.

"What if you had a suitor who showed all the signs…him falling in love with you? But what if he said nothing. What if he was too scared to confess that he loved you? But you knew the signs. Would you think it flattering? Would you fall for him?"

"They say shyness is a sign that someone is smitten. Yes, I would blush. I would be flattered. As long as he loved me for love and not merely for political purposes."

It was Peter's turn to fall silent. He wasn't sure if Susan knew what he had meant. He told himself he would try again.

After a longer time of silence, Peter spoke up again.

"Susan, can you help me with something?"

"Anything," she answered.

"I have fallen for this maiden—this girl. But I don't know what to say. I don't know how to say it."

"Is this girl, this lady, is she a commoner?"

Peter chuckled. "No. You very well know there are no other humans in Narnia besides us. And no, she is a royal."

"Ah! A royal. Is she a Telmarine?"

"Not exactly."

"Don't tell me. She's a Calormene. Peter you know that—"

"Stop that! She is not a Calormene, she's not Telmarine either. Nor is she an Archenlander."

"If not, then…who is she? Did you discover another kingdom? Is she human?" Realization dawned on Susan. There weren't any other humans in Narnia. Could it be—? No! It couldn't! She refused to think it was. He was her brother. How dare he dishonor her like this?

"I'm talking about a queen," Peter said, responding to the question in Susan's eyes, "A queen in every right. She is smart, logical. She's my best friend. Although we've had differences and disagreements in the past. We've had fights. But we'd always patch things up. She's beautiful, too."

"Peter, I—"

"Let me finish."

Susan felt like her heart had just dropped down into her stomach.

"Susan, I…"

"Peter, don't."

Peter started feeling bolder now. He was ready. He just hoped Susan would be, too. He cupped her face, held it in his hands. He looked her straight in the eyes. His lips mere inches from hers. Almost brushing. He could feel Susan's heat. He saw her pale face redden. She was blushing.

"All these years, ever since we came to Narnia, I've tried to deny it. To hide it. To conceal it. But I can't any longer. Susan, I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul."

"Peter!" Susan said, wrench away from Peter's grasp. A hand landed painfully on his cheek.

"Susan, those suitors only want you for political purposes. I love you. They don't. None of your suitors know a thing or two about love. Why can't you see that I'm different? I love you, Susan! I will protect you!"

He was now holding her possessively—protectively.

"Let me go, Peter! Let…me…go!" and so he did.

But as soon as he let her go, she fell onto the soft sand in a fainting swoon. Had it been too much for her to take? But now at least she knew. He felt as though he were ready to die. Ready to live this world knowing full well that she knew how much he loved her.