It had been three days since the incident. Youjirou's mother was still feverish, and she spent most of the time sleeping now. Ran and Kotone had given up their laundry duties to stay with Youjirou and Miku, each taking turns watching the sick woman. But the fourth day was different; the fourth day would change Youjirou's life.
"She's running a high fever," Ran murmured as she wrung out a wet cloth and placed it on Miku's forehead.
Youjirou sat huddled in the corner, his knees drawn up to his chest and head lowered. He was hurting inside, but nothing could compare to the guilt that had built up in his heart. His beloved mother, the only family he had, was dying.
"You… jirou…"
The boy looked up at the sound of his mother's strained voice, wiping the tears from his eyes. "H-hai?"
Miku stretched her hand towards her son, beckoning him. "Come here," she rasped.
It felt as if ice was being pressed against Youjirou's cheeks as his mother cupped his face in her hands. A weak smile brightened Miku's pale face as she said, "No matter what happens… I want you to be happy…"
"Okaasan…" Youjirou muttered as he closed his eyes and clenched tightly to his wide sleeves. "I can't pretend to be happy anymore."
Kotone leaned down to Youjirou, resting her old shaking hand on his head. "Why didn't you tell us, Youjirou? We would have helped sooner had we known," she said gently.
"Okaasan and I… we were happy," his small voice choked. "I just wanted everything to be all right and not have to worry…"
"Youjirou…"
He looked up to see his mother point to the dresser she kept her trinkets and memoirs hidden away. On top of it was the hairpin she always wore, the one that had been passed down for many generations. The wooden hairpiece felt so light and fragile in his small boyish hands. "This?" he asked, kneeling back down to his mother's side.
"Hai… I want you to use it… pay for the doctor…" Miku said slowly as she pushed back Youjirou's thick brown hair and smiled. "It should… be enough…"
"But Okaasan!" he retorted. "I can't! This is yours!"
"Sell it," Miku repeated. "It will help… make okaasan better…"
Youjirou looked back down to the hairpiece, his bottom lip trembling. It was only a piece of wood, if you think about it, but it was the most beautiful thing Miku had. Youjirou couldn't sell it. But he had to.
"Hai… Okaasan…" He stood, turning to Ran and Kotone with the hairpiece held up. "Could you please wrap this?"
As Kotone gently wrapped the wooden hairpiece in a protective layer of cloth, Ran helped Youjirou pack a small bag of food and clothes. "You know the way to the other village, hai? Take the main path and it will get you there in three days tops," she said as she strapped the bag to Youjirou's back.
"Hai," Youjirou said as he took the hairpin from Kotone and slid it into the pouch of his sleeve. "I'll be careful."
"Ohaiyo! Ran-san! Kotone-san!"
Kotone ran to the door, peeking out. "Oh, Hina-chan! Come in, come in!" she exclaimed, opening the door wider.
Hina stepped in with a pack on her back and a worried expression on her face. She was wearing her old worn down sandals and a yukata with fading flowers and dragons, and her hair had been tied up messily in a dirty bun. Just like everyone else in the village, she had been praying relentlessly for Miku. A small grimace wore at her usually smiling face when she saw Youjirou packed for a journey. "You're going off to the village, hai?" she asked.
Youjirou nodded. "Hai," he replied thickly.
"It's a good thing I caught you before you left. Do you remember our little present?" Hina asked as she unstrapped the pack and laid it at Miku's side.
The kimono.
Hina must have been working on it as much as she had been praying. Miku softly laid a hand over her young friend's. "Arigatou, Hina-san, you didn't have to do this for me," she said weakly.
Hina knelt down and undid the bind on the pack. "But I did. At first, it was a gift for when your husband comes home. Now it will be a lasting memoir for you to wear to the next world," she said, pulling back the folds of paper to reveal the kimono.
It looked like something from the heavens. The bright and shining colors reflected in Youjirou's ice blue eyes, a shimmer that would never fade. The cranes that lined along the sleeves seemed to soar over the left shoulder and neckline gradually faded away into faded silver, and along the folds of the skirt were delicate cranes and flowers, all of the silvery blue color Youjirou had helped pick out. The sash to be tied around the waist was of the same silver blue, woven in a strange weave Youjirou had never seen before. The moment his mother wore this, she would look like a goddess.
"Hina-san… it's beautiful!" Miku gasped as she took the soft fabric in her hands and massaged her finger tips over the weavings. "How could I ever repay you?"
"Don't worry about payment. It is a gift from Youjirou and I," Hina said, nodding towards the boy.
Miku smiled as she turned to her son, beckoning him to her. "I must be the most blessed woman on the face of the earth," she whispered into his hair as she drew him in tightly, embracing him as if she would never let go. "My son… you will be a great man one day…"
Youjirou's tears moistened his mother's clothing as he clung tighter to her. "I'm not strong… I will never be like Otoosan…"
"Yes you will… don't doubt yourself, Youjirou," Miku whispered. "You are twice the man he was."
Youjirou pulled away to see tears begin to form in his mother's eyes, even as she smiled down at him. He knew what he had to do. With a determined face and fierce eyes, Youjirou nodded and bowed. "I will be back, Okaasan. I promise… I will come back and make you better."
Miku wiped away her tears and gripped her son gently by his shoulder. "You're no longer a child, Youjirou. You're a young man." Then she looked up to Hina, asking, "Could you go with him to the edge of the village?"
Hina nodded. "Hai," she said, standing and reaching for Youjirou. "Let's go, You-chan. You can't wait any longer."
Youjirou followed Hina out of the house, looking back to see his mother waving good bye. He smiled to himself; he was sure to return to that same smile. "Hina-san, will Okaasan be okay?" he asked, turning back to the sixteen year old.
She shrugged, saying, "I don't know. The villagers have been praying like fanatics for the past three days; I hope something comes out of it all. I will be praying extra for you; it's a long way to the next village. I would go with you, but I have things to tend to. The soldiers are supposed to be back later on this week."
The boy was truly shocked. The soldiers? The Shinsengumi were coming back? Then Otoosan… "They are coming home?" Youjirou repeated.
"Hai. Your father and my husband. Now that the rebellions in Kyoto have ended and the British government officials are talking peace with the shogunate, things will go back to normal."
It had been so long since Youjirou had seen his father. His mother had pictures of him to remind her of what he looked like, but she stopped looking at them six months back. Youjirou had seen them, of course. He had acquired his father's narrow eyes and oval face, but his thick brown hair, thin eyebrows, and ice blue eyes were all from his mother. Other than the pictures, however, Youjirou did not know much else other than the fact that his father was a member of the Shinsengumi, the Japan Police Force. And now he was coming home after a year away.
"Will you be alright by yourself?"
Youjirou blinked. Already, he and Hina were standing at the edge of the village border, facing the large empty road that would lead him to the next village. "Hai, I will be fine. Arigatou, Hina-san."
"Here." Hina knelt down to place a small beaded bracelet in his open palm. "Prayer beads. If anything happens, hold these and pray to the gods for guidance. Be safe."
Youjirou nodded, tightening his hold on the beads and holding it to his chest. "Hai. I won't fail the village, Hina-san… and I won't fail Okaasan…"
