As they expected, a disheveled half dressed Harry had met them when they'd unexpectedly knocked on his door a short while later. To say he'd been surprised to see them was an understatement, but they explained why they were there and he understood immediately. Hermione took great care in hiding her bandaged hand from him, not wanting him to worry, and thankfully, Sirius didn't mention the bite in front of either Harry or Ginny.
Hermione tossed and turned on the couch they offered her, unable to sleep with worry while Sirius snored loudly from the uncomfortable looking chair across the room. She woke him at first light and they quietly made their way home.
The house at Grimmauld place was silent when they arrived and they figured that Remus must have passed out after reverting to his human form, and sure enough they found him sprawled, bruised and battered on his bed. Sirius, taking note of Hermione's glassy eyed, weary appearance had sent her off to bed while he mended his old friend's injuries and repaired the extensive damage done to the house. She tried to argue, but it was half hearted and he won in the end.
A few hours later the smell of food cooking awoke her. A glance at the clock told her it was later than she expected which probably meant that Sirius had gone back to bed after cleaning up. She wondered nervously if Remus was up yet, and whether Sirius had told him what had happened last night. She hoped not on both accounts.
She dressed slowly and made her way down to the kitchen to find both men sitting at the table eating. Sirius looked his usual,laid-back, casual self, but Remus looked worse than she'd seen him in a long time. His hands, arms, chest, back, legs, and nose were all heavily bandaged. Considering how fast werewolves heal, he must have really done a number on himself. She watched them from the doorway as they practically competed in shoveling food in their mouths. Remus had an excuse for being ravenous because the change and animal form required a lot of energy to maintain. Sirius, on the other hand was just a pig when he ate. Remus had told her once that he had always been that way, and at this stage was unlikely to change.
She fixed a plate and sat down near them. They each grunted a greeting to her, but were too focused on their meal to do much more. She sat next to Sirius, across from Remus who didn't so much as look up as she arranged herself in her seat.
"How are you?" she asked him as she forked a potato.
"I've been better," he shrugged. "But then, I have been worse."
She smiled at him and forgetting herself, she reached out to grab her glass with her bandaged hand. Remus' eyes fell on that bandage and his fork fell from his fingers with a clatter onto his plate. Before she could withdraw her hand he grasped it and pulled it and her toward him. He leaned forward and with trembling fingers, brought the hand to his nose. He took one long sniff, and gasping he leaped up from his chair.
"Oh, God!" he whispered furiously. "What have I done!?"
"This wasn't your fault!" Hermione insisted, seeing his distress.
"Yeah," Sirius muttered darkly, "it was Snape's."
"I bit you," Remus snapped. "I can smell it on you. Of course it was my fault!"
Hermione dropped her head, her stomach plummeting. "There's no hope for me then?"
Remus paled and walked around the table to take her hand again. He sniffed her from her fingers to her shoulder and then slowly backed away. "Your body has accepted the virus," he said sadly. "If it hadn't, you'd be dead or dying by now."
"Well, that's something anyway," she murmured. Better infected than dead.
Remus' face darkened. "How did this happen?" he demanded. "I wondered when I woke up on the bathroom floor, but you two weren't here. How did I get out?"
"We think you took the potion too late," Sirius told him. "You went after the attic door and I reinforced it, but it didn't hold and you got out. We were trying to leave, but we weren't fast enough."
"You should have killed me," Remus said through clenched teeth.
"Stop it!" Hermione yelled. "This was an accident. Stop being like this. God! I'm the one this is happening to, and you don't see me laying blame on anyone, so just stop it!" She slammed her hands down on the table and sprinted from the room.
Up in her room she felt the tears she had been suppressing all night roll unchecked down her cheeks. She was angry at Remus for his self-defeatist attitude, and she was terrified for her future. After a moment she felt a pair of warm arms encircle her body, followed shortly by a second pair.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Remus whispered. "All I could think about was by part in this whole debacle. I never even thought about what you must be going through."
"We're here for you, honey," Sirius said from her other side. "You won't be going through this alone, I promise."
Hermione turned and hugged them both to her as she cried herself out, and after a while the logical, level-headed side of her emerged and she turned to Remus. "What can I expect?"
He frowned, thinking back to his childhood when he was bitten. There was much in his life that he didn't remember, but that first change was stark in his mind. The unimaginable agony of the change, the loss of control as the wolf took over, the need to bite – to tear into flesh, it was as clear in his mind as if it had happened just yesterday. Thank God for the wolfsbane potion. It enabled werewolves to keep a grip on their instincts and emotions during the full moon. Whereas before, long sections of memory were a red haze, he now knew everything that happened in his wolf form and could control it – until last night.
"The change is excruciating," he reluctantly told her. "However, once it's over there is this feeling of liberation and the pain is quickly forgotten until the sun rises then the pain starts again and then you'll feel completely drained and incredibly, ravenously hungry. You'll notice changes in yourself when the full moon nears. You'll begin to crave hardly cooked or raw meat. You'll feel invincible sometimes, like the consequences of your actions don't matter. There are other things as well, but I have plenty of books on the subject and you can borrow them whenever you want."
She nodded, "I already know a bit, but I'd love to read whatever you have." She suspected he was purposefully leaving things out, but she knew she could find out the rest on her own.
"Thankfully you won't be going through this alone," Sirius smiled gently. "There will be someone there with you, going through exactly what you are who can help you. I'm not completely useless myself, either."
"We'll have to tell Severus to make two doses of potion each month," Hermione said more to herself than anyone. "Oh, God! What am I going to tell my friends, my family!"
"This affliction isn't what it used to be," Remus said stoically. "The wolfsbane potion has made it easier for most people to accept us, and honestly, you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. Now that the werewolf registry is sealed to the general wizarding public, it's easier to keep the affliction secret. It's up to you if you want to tell anyone, though you are supposed to register."
Hermione nodded. They had given her a lot to think about, and she did find it comforting that she wasn't alone in all of this. She would have to decide if and when to tell Harry and Ron. Of course they were both fairly preoccupied at the moment, and probably wouldn't notice anything amiss for quite some time. Out of the pair, Ron would probably take it the worst, so it was a good thing that he was away with the Chudley Cannons most of the time. Thinking about Ron always made her sad. They had seemed like the perfect couple, but there was just no fire between them. He had been so despondent when they had broken up, but after a time he too realized it was for the best, especially when the fan girls offered him things Hermione would never agree to. Still, he was one of her best friends and he always did have a fiery temper so he was likely to explode when he found out. He wouldn't be mad at her or Remus necessarily, but more so at yet another situation that was out of his control.
Hermione sighed. She was suddenly very tired and her two companions seemed to take note of this.
"Why don't you lie down for a while," Remus said, nudging her toward the bed. "When you wake up I'll bring you some books."
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