A response to Drew's letter addressed to May's fanboys
Dearest Drew, whom I think of a brother,
First off, where do you think you get the authority to control who is attracted to May or not? You may obviously have a thing for your precious brunette, but until you ask her out that technically means anyone can have eyes for her. I suggest that if you don't want other boys admiring her 'silky chocolate hair', 'gorgeous sapphire blue eyes' or any other feature you so desire to fall in love with, then make your move. May won't wait forever.
As for 'airhead' being copyrighted under the Drew Hayden enterprise, I would suggest unless you have the documents to back it up, you do not say that if you don't want a lawsuit on your hands.
Your descriptions of the methods they use to attract May seem to be a little exaggerated, unless you're calling yourself lame, cheesy and cliché?
For your information, the hair flick the boys have picked up was from you. They have seen May blushing whenever the hair flick appears. She is not going red from just anger, that is blushing as it reminds her of you.
That supposedly irritating smirk is also from you. If you so think this idea is ridiculous and ludicrous in attracting May, then please explain why you think doing so will make May anymore attracted to you?
And that habit of throwing May roses, can you guess, also came from you tossing May roses. It seems that May had found roses very romantic and boys have been using this to their advantage. You're not the only one who wants May to understand through ambiguous ways and quite frankly, May adores the roses. She more often than not thinks it's sweet, despite the colour because she does not understand the meaning of roses herself. As for that trademark, though I know you actually have trademarked this habit of yours, it does not mean that other boys cannot give her multiple roses.
The nerve to tease and insult May you think? If that was true, then please explain why you are not showering her with compliments. I for one have not seen you compliment her directly. It seemed you're only complimenting Beautifly. I think you'd better straighten yourself before telling other boys what to do.
As for arrogance…Concerning this whole letter, let's say if May finds this you're more likely to be slapped, not her fanboys.
If May does don want a possessive guy, then what part of 'BACK OFF BOYS, SHE'S MINE!' makes you think that you aren't possessive yourself. The same goes for obsessions. If you think May doesn't want a guy with obsessions, you'd have no hope. Luckily for you, May seems to think your obsession with strawberries is amusing more than annoying.
And all things considered, May can choose whoever she wants as a boyfriend so if you want to be that person, I think you'd better step it up a bit.
Your friend and mentor
Solidad (To be counsellor)
Me: Solidad, that was very wise.
Solidad: Someone has to knock some sense into the boy at some point.
Me: True that...But you're 'knocking sense into him' is very different from Harley's. I think Harley would prefer to take it literally...
