Reminder
Author's Note: This chapter takes place after the Big Finish audio play, Phantasmagoria.
Turlough let out a long sigh and leaned back in the chair that was sitting along the wall of the console room.
Looking back on his travels with the Doctor, he supposed that it was inevitable that this would happen. It was clear when he met the Doctor that this was something that was important to him, and that awareness only grew over time. Why else would he look the way he did? And if that wasn't enough of an indication for Turlough there were always the lectures. Or the trips to various time zones or even other planets on the edges of galaxies. Still, until this moment, there had always been ways to rein in this obsession of the Doctor's. To distract him from going too far with it. But this time, Turlough knew that there would be no escape.
Not when the Doctor could actually claim that a cricket almanac saved the world…or at the very least, the London of 1702.
"You see, Turlough," the Doctor said, running a hand lovingly over his almanac. "Good old Wisdens have some sterling properties."
"Such as acting as bait for an alien bent on destruction?" Turlough smirked. "Or as a hiding place for a biometric playing card? I don't know much about cricket, Doctor, but I'm willing to bet that 'good old Wisden' didn't have any of that in mind when he wrote that book."
"Perhaps not," the Doctor conceded. "But you do have to admit that it's a very useful tome. It got us out of a tight spot, anyway."
"I'm not sure what that proves," Turlough replied. "I recall being able to accomplish the same thing with a hat rack."
"The temporal circuits are acting up again," the Doctor said, abruptly changing the subject. "Do me a favor and get me the blue toolbox out of storage…and maybe the green one too. I might need some things out of it as well."
"Fine," Turlough shrugged as he got up. "And what shall I do while you're working on that?"
"I may need you for some of this repair work," the Doctor said. His brow crinkled slightly with his frown. "In the meantime, how about some interesting reading?"
He tossed the almanac over to Turlough who caught it and turned it around in his hands. As he suspected, there would be no avoiding the subject of cricket for a little while at least.
Turlough let out a huff and stuffed the book into his pocket while he walked down the corridor to fetch the toolboxes. Why did the Doctor get so caught up in all things cricket? The Doctor did say something about "wiling away eternity". Still, Turlough figured that someone with a time-space machine at his disposal could find much more interesting pursuits to occupy all those endless hours.
'Well, there's also all the trouble he gets into,' Turlough thought with a smirk. 'That certainly takes up a lot of time.'
He chuckled and went into the storage room, emerging a few seconds later with both toolboxes. After a brisk walk back to the console room, he found the Doctor still staring at the controls with a frown. Turlough sat the toolboxes by his feet and then went back to slump down in his chair.
"Thank you, Turlough," the Doctor finally said before plopping down onto the floor and shoving both toolboxes under the console. Then he laid down and removed one of the panels.
Turlough nodded and pulled out his book so he could thumb through it. Truthfully, he knew it wouldn't be too hard for him to grasp the basics of cricket, but it did seem like it was a game that had been given needless complications in order to make it appear more significant than it really was.
'Typical humans,' Turlough mused with a slight snort. Then again, he knew that if he was honest with himself, he could find examples of that kind of behavior on many of the other planets he had visited. Including Trion.
"You seemed to get along well with the locals," the Doctor said, breaking his train of thought. Turlough looked over to see him laying in a mess of wires on the floor.
Turlough shrugged and sat the book down on the edge of the chair. "They were all right. For Earthlings."
"They were men of their time," the Doctor said. "Oh, and could you hand me that device over there near my foot? The one with the blue lights on each end?"
Turlough got up and grabbed the object in question. He crouched down to hand it to the Doctor.
"They were that," he nodded. "So wrapped up in their gossip and social standing and all that sort of nonsense. But still…."
"Still?" the Doctor said, pausing in his work.
Turlough shrugged again. "They were decent people. Friendly. They took care of me after a carriage almost ran me down."
The Doctor scooted out from under the console to get a better look at him. "A carriage? You didn't mention that. Turlough, are you sure you're…?"
"Yes, I'm all right," Turlough said with a dismissive flick of his hand.
"Yes, well, in the future, you will make sure to tell me about these things," the Doctor tutted before sliding back closer to the base of the console.
Turlough nodded again, unsure of how closely he would follow that instruction. Still, as annoying as the Doctor could be when fussing over him, he couldn't deny that he was touched that the Doctor cared about him as much as he did.
"By the way, how did you happen to almost get run down by a carriage?" the Doctor asked, his voice slightly garbled by the tool he was currently holding in his teeth. "Was it because you were running away? You never did tell me what you were running from that first night at Holywell's."
Turlough snorted. "I'm Turlough. Since when do I need a reason to run away?"
He regretted saying that as soon as the words left his lips. Mainly because of how the Doctor stopped what he was doing again and looked at him.
"I've never known you to be someone who ran without a reason," the Doctor said quietly.
Turlough let out another long sigh and sat himself down onto the floor. Much like those times when the Doctor let his cricket obsession take over, he knew that there was no avoiding this conversation either.
"That method Valentine used to track down his victims. There was something about it. I don't know how to explain it with words other than it felt…evil."
"Evil?" the Doctor said. He pushed himself out from under the console and sat up to face Turlough.
"Not in the same way that Jasper or Holywell felt about it," Turlough continued. "They probably thought it was evil because they didn't know what it was."
"But you did?" the Doctor asked as he folded his legs in front of him.
"Not really, no," Turlough replied. He sighed again, unsure he could make the Doctor understand. "What I mean is that I wasn't afraid because it was unknown and strange. It was…it was as if I just knew that it was evil. That it was being used by an evil being for terrible purposes."
"I see," the Doctor responded.
Turlough frowned. The look on the Doctor's face was a familiar one: curiosity mixed with concern and a touch of giddiness over finding some new puzzle to solve. Turlough knew that the Doctor meant well, but that didn't completely erase the unease he felt toward that expression.
"Turlough, are your people psychically sensitive as a rule?"
Turlough frown again, his brows furrowing. Although this time it wasn't due to discomfort. "No. No I don't think so. That is…I'm sure any of us would notice a direct psychic assault, but…."
"But they don't tend to have empathetic or telepathic responses to psychic phenomenon," the Doctor finished for him. "And yet this isn't the first time you've encountered this sort of energy. You've had experience with it before."
The Doctor didn't say it out loud, probably in an effort to be kind, but Turlough knew what he was talking about. The Black Guardian. The poisonous voice in his head that had tormented him for weeks and that had come so close to destroying him.
"I suppose I have a knack for picking up on that sort of thing," he said with a short, brittle laugh.
"Only because you appear to be more perceptive to these energies than others of your species," the Doctor said. "Psychic sensitivity is nothing to be ashamed of, Turlough."
"I imagine you'd say it's a gift," Turlough huffed.
"It can be," the Doctor nodded again. "Especially with proper training to help manage it. But I would be lying if I denied that it can also make you more vulnerable to beings who can exploit it for their own purposes."
Turlough nodded back to show that he understood, not trusting himself to speak at that moment. He loathed thinking of himself as being vulnerable, but there was no escaping it.
"I can help you find ways to defend yourself," the Doctor said, his voice becoming gentle. "But in order to do that you will need to do two things. First, you must learn to overcome your fear."
"Well, that leaves me out then," Turlough sighed.
The look of quiet resolve on the Doctor's face did not falter in the least. "I already know that you can conquer your fear while controlling your mind, Turlough. As do you. Think back to when you and I and Tegan encountered the Eternals. You found a way to block them from discerning your true intentions."
Turlough opened his mouth to protest, but immediately stopped when he remembered Captain Wrack's words to describe his mind: confused, divided, devious and most of all, greedy. The last thing he wanted to do was confess to the Doctor that he had avoided the Eternals' probing by remaining focused on duplicitous, manipulative lines of thought which were given a thin sheen of rationality.
"Turlough, however you accomplished it, the fact remained that you managed to put aside your fear and prevented them from digging too deeply into your mind," the Doctor said.
Turlough blinked. It was always a little unnerving when the Doctor seemed to read his mind like that, but right now, he was too distracted by what the Doctor was saying to be upset about it.
"Although, some methods can be less pleasant to use than others," the Doctor continued. "I can teach you ones that will be easier to cope with. Which leads me to the other thing I need you to do."
"Which is?"
The Doctor leaned toward him. "I need you to trust me."
Turlough swallowed hard, barely able to muffle the gulp he made. Bravery in the face of danger was actually far easier to accomplish than trusting another person. Before he met the Doctor, he hadn't truly trusted anyone for so long; it had become an ingrained habit.
Despite that, Turlough could acknowledge that he trusted the Doctor more than just about anyone else he had ever known. It felt strange and somewhat frightening to think this way, but he was certain that he was willing to place his life in the Doctor's hands whenever it was necessary.
At the same time though, the camaraderie that enabled Turlough to place so much faith in the Doctor was the same reason why he could not bring himself to reveal any more about himself and his past than he absolutely needed to. What would the Doctor think of him if he knew everything? Turlough couldn't believe that it would be anything good and that could ruin the friendship they had built.
No, the Doctor's friendship was a price he was unwilling to pay under just about any circumstance. If that meant keeping himself hidden away and never receiving the Doctor's help to heal the wounds of his past or defend himself against attacks on his psyche in the future, Turlough was more than willing to accept it.
"Whenever you are ready for it," the Doctor added. Turlough nodded, ducking his head down as he did it.
"Thank you," he mumbled. He hoped that the Doctor understood what he was thanking him for, but was comforted by the idea that the Doctor usually discerned the subtexts in their conversations.
"Now then, let's get back to work, shall we?" the Doctor said with a cheerful smile. "The sooner we get these repairs done, the sooner I can take you to one of the greatest cricket matches that was ever…."
"Doctor, please, think about every other time you tried to take me or Nyssa or Tegan to 'one of the greatest cricket matches ever played'," Turlough interrupted. "About what tends to happen."
"Yes. Yes, you do have a point there," the Doctor mused. "Then how about something more adventurous? It's been a while since I've visited the pharaohs or Egypt."
"Earth again?" Turlough frowned. "Do we have to, Doctor?"
A brief flicker of hurt appeared in the Doctor's eyes, but it vanished in an instant. "Very well. Then perhaps something a little more out of the way." The Doctor's eyes lit up again. "Like Space Station Xalrius. It's a fascinating place on the edge of galaxy. It's powered by the gravitational energy generated by a comet which has become trapped in an orbit around the station. And it has some of the best views of its neighboring solar system around."
"As long as there isn't going to be a cricket match, I'm game," Turlough replied. "That is…well, you know what I mean."
"Turlough, I often think that Tegan had more of an influence on you than you realize," the Doctor frowned. "You sound more and more like her all the time."
"Now you're just trying to insult me," Turlough smirked. "And that's not vey cricket either, is it Doctor?"
The Doctor gave him a stern look which was accompanied by a twinkle in his eyes that Turlough immediately picked up on. He snickered at as he moved closer to the console to start helping with the repairs.
