I own nothing, I say! Nothing! cough Anyways... here is the much awaited second chapter! Thanks to all my lovely 8 reviewers, I love you all, and enjoy this next installment! This chapter is dedicated to you and my lovely friend Holly (Mrs-H-Jacob-Black), who has not seen me once without asking me when this chappie will be up. Here, Holls, feel privelidged.


Part two

Saturday 16th November 1981

I know why people can go mad in here.

The Dementors are everywhere… And it's always so cold…

I keep seeing their faces, the people I… disposed of. I keep telling myself that they're gone, but I feel odd. Like… remorse. But I cant feel remorse, I'm heartless, His Most Faithful, the only female Death Eater… I'm the one who can kill and not think twice about the fact that I've killed them, that they'll never speak again, never realise the pain I put their loved ones through. Because that's what I do, I put people through pain.

But now they come back to haunt me, their screams filling my ears and head, their faces hovering wherever I look, begging, pleading.

The sick thing about that is, I like it. I laugh in their ghostly faces, mock their pleading tones.

I'm not going mad. I've always been like this.


Sunday 17th November 1981

Sirius amazes me. Why would a grown man act so immature? This morning he wakes me up by chucking his daily water allowance over my head. Which was rather stupid, as now he has nothing to drink for a day. It's funny to think that I grew up with him and still remained sane. Hang on…

Damn.

Anyway, Sirius was being an annoying bugger as usual, and I had, by this time, thought of many evil ways to get revenge. I don't know what the revenge will be yet, but it will contain generous portions of the Cruciatus curse (my speciality.). However, seeing as I do not have a wand at this precise moment I will have to consent to flicking stones at him.

Hmm. It is oddly satisfying.

Anyways, I have come to the perfect conclusion that… Azkaban deserves to be dunked in a vat of lava. This morning I asked one of the (human) guards if they had any Muggles I could torture, but he just sneered at me. Grrr. I couldn't believe him! Some filthy Mudblood (who has yet to discover a toothbrush) sneer at me, Bellatrix Black- Lestrange! To state the obvious, I was furious. So I grabbed his wand from his pocket, and started firing spells everywhere, only to be hit right in the stomach with 'Impedimenta' and sent flying into the opposite wall. Which hurt rather badly.

So now I have lost my food for a week. Which doesn't matter as I was planning on going on a diet anyway. But still, one week! Maybe I can get Sirius to share his…

Fat chance.


Wednesday 20th November 1981

My family has not forgotten me! YES!!!!!!

My lovely little sister Narcissa came to visit me in Azkaban today! She really is amazing when she wants to be. I don't think she banked on Sirius being there too, though. It was rather a nasty shock to the system for her, I must say. I will write down the conversation to distract myself from the loud noises Sirius is making while he eats, rubbing the fact has he has food and I don't in. (Not that it's a big deal. The food's horrible here.)

I was staring at the ceiling when Cissy came in, but as soon as I heard her coming I jumped up, and gave her a hug. (Which, given the fact that I was behind bars and she wasn't, was harder than one would have first thought.) She then immediately told me that my hair needed a wash and I was already getting skinnier. Nice girl.

She then started going on about how Lucius had told her all about the trial. Can that prick not keep his mouth shut? Well, his wife can't… What happened to the little girl I used to kick around? Only one answer; Lucius is a bad influence…

My God, my sister could talk for Britain. It starts off about 'how stupid you were acting like you did at the trial, Bella…' then it goes onto 'and now people are giving me weird looks just because I'm related to you…' and will finally end up in the never- ending subject of Draco. Draco this, Draco that… Her obsession is rather unhealthy, I think. The way she goes on, you'd think the kid had just saved twenty thousand people from a burning building, but no, today he smiled. Smiled. So of course, Cissy would go mad with delight.

All the while, I'm trying to get a word in edgeways. Needless to say, I failed. In the end I was forced to shove my hand over her mouth as a sign to tell her to shut up.

But did she? No, she told me my nails were awful, and I needed a manicure.

What does she think Azkaban is? A five- star- hotel?

No wonder she was named after a man who fell in love with his reflection. It fits rather well.

She used to be so quiet, following me around Hogwarts all the time. But now she is the most talkative woman this side of Hogsmeade. It is a slightly scary change.

I wonder if she still sucks her thumb? I will ask her next time she visits.

So after giving me a blow- by- blow account of (shock horror!) Draco eating his breakfast, Cissy left. Leaving me all alone with my thoughts. And my cousin…

I hate my life.


Saturday 23rd November 1981

My sisters annoy me. Even though neither of them are here, they still manage to get on my nerves. Thanks to Narcissa, I keep having weird dreams about Draco and oatmeal. And now I have a letter from my other sister, Andromeda (the one who fancied Professor Herman.) who hates me. Seeing as I am bored, I will copy it out. In my neatest handwriting!

Bellatrix,

After seeing your arrest in the Prophet, I must say that I am very happy that you are in your rightful place at last. I told you this Pureblood mania would get you nowhere- and look at yourself now. Twenty years in Azkaban! I hope you die in there. You'd deserve it.

Before this turn in events, Bella, I would have accepted your apology, if ever you grew a heart and turned back to me, (unlikely as it seems, I was always ready to forgive you for your blindness about Blood Purity and would have gladly put it behind me if you were truly sorry for your ways), but now I want nothing to do with you ever again. Don't ever come near me or my family. Don't reply to this message. I don't want you poisoning my life as you have so many other peoples.

Andromeda Tonks

I showed the letter to Sirius and he laughed for about an hour. Then I got really mad and punched him again. That made him shut up.

That letter from Drommie really wasn't nice. She's lecturing me about 'blindness'! Have you ever seen her husband? A Mudblood! She married a Mudblood! Not even a good- looking one! And yelling at me about MY blindness! She hoped I'd die in here. Bitch. So much for sisterly love... Mind you, she does have good reason to hate me- I've tried to kill her, her dirt- veined husband and her filthy half- blood daughter on numerous occasions. Her daughter- Nymphadora, I think- is a Metamorphagus.

I don't know why, but that little fact is oddly amusing.

And now I can't stop laughing. Sirius is giving me weird looks, but… hey, who cares? Not me, that's who!

My God. I really am a madwoman. Mind you, I think it must run in the family. Think about it… one of my sisters married Lucius Malfoy (bleurgh), and the other named their daughter Nymphadora. I mean, Nymphadora, come on! I can only imagine how much she'll be bullied once she reaches Hogwarts. I blame the parents.

I get my food back tomorrow. Good. Sirius has been eating slowly so I can see him. My stomach hurts. Sirius is annoying.

While we're on the subject of my family, did I mention that I HATE SIRIUS!!! He is an annoying, pompous, stupid, arrogant, idiotic, big- headed, gay poof. And believe me, I could make that list A LOT longer if I cared to. A LOT. But that is a waste of parchment, and us Death Eaters must do our bit for the environment.


Friday 29th November

It's official. I have been in here for 3 weeks. That's 21 days.

Only 7284 to go!

Holy crap.


Saturday 30th November

Ooh! Tomorrow is Halloween!

I wonder if Dementors celebrate Halloween?

Hahaha. I now have a mental image of a Dementor in a fairy outfit dancing along the corridor, throwing sweets into our cells. Now, that would be funny. And yet again, I find myself rolling on the floor laughing, receiving weird looks from my cousin. I have a feeling this will become a common occurrence for the next twenty years…

I could get used to it, actually. Annoying Sirius was a definite hobby for me when I was little, along with challenging him to contests (and winning) getting him back for whenever he pranked me, generally being a pain in the arse to him. Once I set his Gryffindor scarf on fire because he said that Slytherins were bogie- coloured. Another time I set him up on a blind date with Severus Snape. For the next six days I was hiding from both of them. Hmm. That was not one of my best plans…

But now I have twenty years to drive him insane…

If I don't loose it first…


Tuesday 3rd December

Sirius was crying last night.

I could see him through the hole in the wall- I think he's been crying every night, actually. I could tell he didn't want me to know.

I first realised something was wrong when I woke up and saw that about twenty dementors were swarmed around his cell. They were all getting really excited, so I knew something was wrong. I could hear him crying if I listened really hard. I stood up and went over to the hole in the wall. He was curled in a corner of his cell, crying his eyes out while trying to keep quiet. I actually felt sorry for him. So I tried to be nice, (come on, it's hard for someone like me!) and talked to him.

"Siri?" I hadn't used that name since we started Hogwarts, but still…

"Go away, Lestrange." He reverted to using surnames then. It surprised me.

"Siri… what's wrong? You can tell me."

He lost it then. "What's wrong? You should fucking well know, Bellatrix! You're on his side! You have murdered enough people to know!"

"Sirius, I don't…"

"THE POTTERS, BITCH! LILY AND JAMES! THEY'RE DEAD!"

Suddenly the 'secret plan' the Dark Lord had been going on about made sense. "The prophecy…" I said it out loud, which was, evidently, a mistake.

"A prophecy! Oh, that all makes sense now! They died because of some stupid prophecy! Why didn't I realise that?" He was being so sarcastic that I didn't think it was possible. For him, anyway…

"Sirius, you need to calm down, you're just gonna get yourself worked up and-"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! YOU'RE PART OF IT! THAT BLOODY SKULL ON YOUR ARM! IT'S YOUR FAULT, BELLS! YOU AND YOUR PUREBLOOD INSANITY! I HATE YOU!"

"Sirius, please, listen to me. Potter is dead. I'm sorry that you feel like that, but you have to let go."

"That's easy for you to say. You are completely deprived of a heart." He hissed at me. That was mean. So I went and sat down in the furthest corner of my cell, ignoring him. If he didn't want my help, then fine, he wouldn't get it. See if I cared.


Thursday 5th December

Nothing happened today. Or yesterday. And I doubt that anything will happen tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Or the next sixty years…

Yes, sixty. My sentence has been updated- they must have found my criminal record (took them long enough). I now have a lifetime in Azkaban. For some reason, it is an oddly comforting fact. Now I know that whatever I do, nothing will change, and I will die in here. Why is that comforting? Oh dear… What's happening to me?

I think I will try meditating. Apparently it calms you down. Cissy does it and God knows that she needs calming down living with Lucius. I suppose she has to clear room for it in her 'busy' little schedule, that is, in between obsessing over Draco and having pompous dinner parties in one of her many fussy little pinks dresses with her equally stuffed-up friends. God, I can't stand all the stupid aristocratic parties when I was a child. Usually, it would result in Sirius and me having a whipped-cream fight on the middle of the dining room table in front of all the guests and embarrassing both our family and us.

Ok, so now I am sitting in the middle of my cell cross-legged. Feeling like an idiot. But it'll all help in the long run, I suppose.

AUMMMMMMMMM… Wait, how do you spell that? Oh, who cares? Not like anyone's ever going to read this anyway.

Oh, crap. Now I look, sound and feel like an idiot. I suppose this counts as an all-round idiot then? Joy…

Gave up on the meditation front. Cissy has odd habits.

It is now December. And bloody freezing. I am about 600 feet up in a massive tower in the middle of the North Sea, with no central heating and a wide-open window… well, more like a hole in the wall with bars across it. Wearing some old rags that are more suitable for a House-Elf than a human. So, in short, I am cold. VERY cold. Actually, it's beyond cold, and is now in the realms of a pneumonic ice cube. So, yes I am cold.

On the bright side, Sirius hasn't spoken to me since our little feud two days ago. I suppose that I should try to comfort him again, I mean he is my cousin, (did I just say that out loud? Err… no, I wrote it, but still the same thing.), and he's obviously very upset. Him and Potter were inseparable at Hogwarts. They were always running round together, hexing Snape or me or Lucius… They were really quite annoying. But you have to admit; the time when Potter turned Lucius into a ferret is one that stays with you forever. Good times…

However, the time where Sirius turned my hair pink was not good. Especially seeing as he couldn't remember the counter-curse, so I had to go ask Slughorn to change it back, which involved me walking from the courtyard to the dungeons with hot pink hair. He never let me live that down.

Well, Narcissa thought that I looked quite cool with bright pink hair, but I told her that it was 'against the school dress code' or something stupid like that, to stop her from making my hair permanently pink.

Cissy is obsessed with pink. She turned her and Lucius' bedroom baby pink once. He blew his nut. It's funny to watch a Malfoy loose it. Especially when Cissy starts whining at him.

All I can say is; Draco should be glad that he is not a girl. Mind you, that probably won't stop Cissa from dressing him in frocks and tying little pink bows in his hair.

Poor boy.

Poor, poor boy.


Sunday 8th December

Today is my official one-month anniversary of being in Azkaban. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? Yes, it was. It really, really was.

Sirius is talking to me again, as if the Potter-thing never happened. He keeps manipulating my name, too. He is calling me Trixie. Trixie! It's horrible! It makes me sound about three years old. I feel the need to go punch him again.

Hahaha!!! Sirius tried to be clever and duck me, but he tripped and fell over his water bowl. He is now drenched to the skin. Hahaha. Smooth move, Siri. Smooth move.


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