A/n: Hannah Barbara doing ye olde El Zorro shtick. Man, that guitar really stole the show, didn't it?


DARK DUCK


The Greatest Heist There Never Was


Chapter One


Part 2


Intervention with a Vampire


It was early evening up at Darkwing Tower and Launchpad was giving the ThunderQuack's engine a check up. By the time he was finished, inside the bonnet of the flyer would look just as sparkly clean as the maroon coloured outside. Visualising the result cheered on his enthusiasm for his task. He grabbed the bottle of degreaser and started shaking it. "Stand back, everyone, and prepare to be amazed." He aimed the nozzle and the can unexpectedly growled. "What the?" Launchpad stopped and looked at the can.

From across the tower Launchpad heard another low growl. The growl sounded distinctly like there was a vicious animal lurking in the tower with him. For a moment, Launchpad was back in the past. He was trekking through the wild jungle looking for treasure as Scrooge McDuck's pilot and assistant; his heart pounding as his mind raced figuring out exactly how to get off the large predator's menu.

'Quackeroonie!' A little duckling's voice echoed in his memories.
'That was amazing, Launchpad!'
'You got here just in the nick of time.'
'Aye, I don't know how ye' did it, Launchpad, but I thank ye.'

Then Launchpad remembered he was at Darkwing Tower in St Canard and it was no wild jungle beast loose up here; it was DW.

Launchpad swallowed, gazing unseeingly into the depths of the ThunderQuack's engine. The memory of the jungle was vibrant in Launchpad's mind, hearing the unhappy growl of a large carnivorous animal.

'Approach with caution ... better yet, back away slowly and don't go anywhere near it.'

The second notion wasn't an option when it came to helping his friend.

Sometimes helping the crime fighter turned vampire was a bit like helping an old sabre tooth tiger with a thorn stuck in its paw. As a duck, DW's temper was only reasonable at the best of times. As a vampire now ... well, it was Launchpad's job to help his friend regardless of what species he'd become. 'Steady, LP.' He told himself, 'DW needs you'.

It wasn't a moment before Launchpad dropped the can back into his toolbox. The air ace stepped clear of the ThunderQuack to check on what his friend was up to.

Darkwing was still at his desk across the tower where Launchpad had left him before. The masked mallard was reading the training manual that had come in the mail a week ago. But now DW was rigid and tense. He sat on the edge of his seat, a tight grip of the corners of the book. Launchpad could practically feel the heat of his friend's fury from here. It seemed like Darkwing was about to go up in smoke. 'A bit too literally this time', Launchpad thought worriedly and held his position.

DW turned the page of the book on the table in front of him.

"No ..." DW growled again, jumping up onto the chair with an outraged protest, leaving the book on the table. "Ridiculous." He reread the page from his standing position. "Absolutely not!" He snatched at the offending page, ripped it savagely from the book, scrunched it up into a ball and then threw it in the wastepaper bin beside him in disgust. "I am Darkwing Duck!"

Disposing of the offending page wasn't enough to rid himself of the confrontation, however, so Darkwing snatched up the book and tossed it clear across the tower over in Launchpad's direction.
"Yikes!" Launchpad instinctively ducked as the black hardcover book whizzed over his head, rebound from the wall and hit the floor a few metres away from his toolkit.

He looked back and saw DW storming off out of sight to the other side of the tower.

Launchpad went back and collected the unfortunate book. DW loved his books. All his books; except for this one. The spine had extra gaffe tape on it due to the inordinate amount of back bending. Launchpad tried to close the cover but it proved a fruitless task and sprung back open. Some of the pages were crinkled and stained the colour of cocoa. Some were dog-eared and most of the pages were further creased and curled after so many unhappy landings. A mere week in DW's possession and it was now a scuffed and tattered wreck. It made Gosalyn's scorched and water damaged History book look just 'well-travelled'.

'Time for damage control duty, LP.' Launchpad crossed the tower, knowing exactly where to find DW: in the kitchenette. He went in and found Darkwing staring at an empty bottle of super juice in his hands.

"S'everything alright, DW?" Launchpad asked cautiously.
"I don't get it, LP!" Darkwing said exasperated and turned. "Why did I have to get turned into a stupid-?" His eyes fell on the book Launchpad had brought over. His beak twitched in contempt. "Get that rotten thing away from me, Launchpad!" He gritted.
"You know, DW", Launchpad said gently, "I reckon this book crashes more often than I do."

"And that's saying something." Darkwing snorted, finding a trace of humour in Launchpad's comment.

Launchpad relaxed a little, knowing he'd made a start on breaking Darkwing's bad mood.

"Not what you call an easy read, huh?"
"An unpalatable level of prudish pernickety is poured out on the pages with the consistency of yesterday's porridge."
"Ewww." Launchpad was mildly grossed out, "Isn't that the kind of stuff you would write, DW?"

"That's poesy, Launchpad, not prose so thick and dry you can stand a spoon in it!"

"Hey, DW," Launchpad skipped over the argument with a shrug, instinctively finding which words he needed to use next. "You wanna borrow my Quickdraw McGraw and the Moxie Martians comic?" He grinned, reminiscing on his favourite parts. "I'd be glad to lend it to you. It's guaranteed to cheer you up."
"No, thank you, Launchpad..." Darkwing sighed as he turned back to the sink. He rinsed out the glass bottle and put it in the recycling box. "I've got to keep reading this manual."

"It's for your own good, DW." Launchpad now offered the tattered book back to his friend.
"For my own good, yeah..." Darkwing's face twisted in disgusted contempt again as his eyes focused on the black hardcover book in Launchpad's outstretched hands. "On second thoughts I wouldn't mind borrowing your Martian book sometime." He took the mangled thing back. "I could do with something light-hearted for a change."

"Oh, sure, DW, you'll like it. It's full of derring-do."
Darkwing smiled like the calm after the storm. "Sounds just like someone I know."
"Really! Who?" Launchpad asked in excitement.
"You, of course, you knucklehead!" Darkwing huffed with a fond smirk. "They should have had 'your' name on the cover of Duckly magazine, not Gizmoduck's. You've stopped more criminals than he has."
"Gee, DW, I don't mind." Launchpad blushed at the unexpected compliment. "We're all on the same side after all."

Darkwing paused, considering this, his dark mood gathering again. "But wouldn't it be nice for people to at least say 'thank you' just for a change?"
"Sure, but I already know they're grateful." Launchpad answered easily, "I don't really need to hear that 'thank you' all the time. It's nice and it brightens my day, but I always remember back to all the thanks I have gotten over the years and those are the ones that keep me going."

DW's shoulders slumped and he looked back down at his puffed up book in his hands. "When you put it like that it doesn't sound like the end of the world. You know; nobody ever knowing who you are. Nobody recognises the good we do. Because I'm just nobody myself."

Launchpad frowned slightly, lost in what DW was only half-telling him; "You're not just any nobody, DW; you're Darkwing Duck."
Darkwing half-closed an eye at Launchpad as if he'd said something slightly off. "Er, thanks, Launchpad ... I think."
"Heh, anytime, DW. I just wish I could help you read your book for you." He commiserated, "But it's your battle and you know I'm here for you, buddy. Any time you wanna talk about it. I got your back."

"Yeah." Darkwing turned away. "Thanks, Launchpad." He paused. "And I mean that. For everything. Thanks."

DW walked back to his desk. Launchpad watched from the distance as Darkwing reached into the waste paper bin and retrieved the scrunched up page back. He spent a moment, smoothing it back out on the table.

'I'm always right here for you, buddy.' Launchpad repeated mentally, willing to add his strength to his friend's.

When DW started rummaging through the desk drawer, probably for some sticky tape to fix the page back into the book, Launchpad decided DW was feeling genuinely saner for the moment. Happy again, Launchpad returned his attention to the ThunderQuack and left his friend to repair the book in peace. He picked up the can of degreaser from the toolkit.

"Stand back, everyone, and prepare to be amazed." He grinned to himself as he shook the can in excitement.