Total Drama: Revenge of the Film Set
Episode 2: Rage Trip
The Screaming Gaffers 2.0: Courtney, Dave, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jasmine, Sky
The Killer Grips 2.0: Max, Mike, Owen, Scott, Sugar, Zoey
Previously Eliminated: Shawn
The sun was just beginning to rise over the abandoned film lot. In the boys trailer, Dave was scribbling on a piece of paper, his eyes bloodshot, and his clothes wrinkled, soaking with sweat.
"What are you doing?" Scott said as he crawled out of bed.
"Planning... to kill... Sky..." Dave said, scribbling harder.
Max's Confessional:
He tapped his chin with a devilish look on his face. "Dave planning a murder, eh? Hmmm... I am on the lookout for a new minion to build my fortress of doom." He presented a blueprint to the camera, with a few poorly drawn building plans scribbled on it. "As you can see, I'm going to need quite a few eeeevil henchman to help me build this. The eeevil mote will go here-" he tapped his finger on one spot on the blueprint, then tapped on another spot. "-and this is where my laboratory will be located, where I'll be doing my evil experiments." He smiled at the camera. "It's quite a nice floorplan, isn't it? My home economics teacher helped me with it." He sighed happily as he rolled up the blueprint and placed it back in his pocket. "Sweet lady."
Scott patted Dave's shoulder. "My pappy always said that women are like roadkill: If the maggots or the midday sun already got to it, just keep driving until you find another dead critter."
"Sounds unsanitary," Dave said.
Scott scratched at his head. "Or did pappy say that going out with a woman is like becoming roadkill, so it's best to..." He shook his head. "Well anyway, the point is, just keep driving, man. You'll find another girl. I mean, Courtney drew me with a tail last season, but I'm over it. I've already found me a new girl back home!"
"Really? What's her name?" Dave asked.
"She's my cousin Luanne," Scott said.
Dave gave a sickened look, but then he stroked his chin. "Hmmm..."
Meanwhile, Owen was lying in bed with his butt in the air, farting as he snored.
Duncan covered his nose and headed out the trailer. "Ugh, dude's been farting all night. I think I might just need to get myself sent back to jail, if you know what I mean." He slammed one fist into his palm and grinned. "As in, I'm gonna do something very bad to him. Because I'm a bad person."
Max grinned. "Oh really?" He rubbed his hands together. "Looks like I have found two henchmen..."
"Whoa, where are we?" Duncan said, pointing outside.
Both the boys' and the girls' trailers were sitting in the middle of a long, deserted road.
Chris walked in front of the trailers with his hands in the air. "It's challenge time!"
The boys and the girls exited their trailers, looking tired and confused. "Mike Mike Mike, Mike?" Zoey asked.
"I'll tell you what's going on," Courtney said, shaking her fist. "I had to sleep next to an evil, vile, disgusting, boyfriend-stealing, chart-hating, pasty, gothy, ugly, conspired-to-get-me-voted-off-last-season jerkface!"
Gwen backed up, holding her hands out defensively with a terrified look on her face.
Gwen's Confessional:
"I couldn't get any sleep last night. Courtney was staring at me all night long, just giving me this sharp glare, like she was going to murder me!"
"Today's challenge is based off of road trip movies," Chris said, pointing to a pile of disassembled car parts lying on the road. "Each team will have to put together a car, and then drive back to the film lot. First team back wins. Losing team sends a teammate flying out of Owen's butt. And yes, there will be several deadly obstacles on the way!"
"Hey Duncan, guess what?" Courtney said. Before he could respond, she kicked him in the balls. Then she smacked Gwen on the back of the head as she bent over a pile of car parts. "Chris, which pile is my team's?"
"Whichever one you call dibs on first," Chris said. "One car has an outdated map in the glove box, and the other has a GPS system that may or may not work. Looks like Courtney declared that car for her team, so the Killer Grips get the other pile."
Zoey and Mike ran toward their team's pile and instantly started reassembling their team's car with ease.
"Wow, that's amazing," Owen said, watching them with admiration. He bent over to get a better look, causing himself to fart. "You're already halfway done!"
"Mike? Mike Mike, Miiiike Mike Mike," Zoey said.
Owen's Confessional:
"Wow, talk about being lucky! It's so awesome that Zoey and Mike started working for Mike's uncle's auto repair shop after season five. Thanks to them, our team will probably win!"
Sugar rolled her eyes. "Pft, you call that a fart? This is a fart!" Sugar bent over and ripped a huge fart that shook the earth. Sky was sent flying toward Scott, who caught her in his arms.
"Whoa, easy there," Scott said.
"Oh, thanks," Sky said.
"Oh, by the way," Scott said. "Dave is trying to kill you. Normally I'd find that sort of thing funny, but my grandmama used to tell me that women are like apple pies, and-"
Sky pulled herself out of Scott's arms and chuckled. "Um, yeah, don't remind me about Dave. He chased me with a baseball bat last episode."
"Well, I tried talking to him this morning," Scott said. "You know, to protect the apple pie." He winked at her, and Sky gave him a weird look.
"Riiight... I'm just gonna... go back to my team..." She ran away from him, catching up with her team.
"Does anyone here know how to put a car back together?" Courtney said. "Come on, we have to win, people!"
Courtney's Confessional:
"I've never gotten higher than thirteenth place in Total Drama history. It would be nice to actually make it far for a change! And also to not get beat up by Duncan or Gwen!" She crossed her arms and growled. "I still can't believe those two beat me up for no reason last season!"
"Zoey Zoey Zoey!" Mike said, giving Zoey a high-five. Then the two embraced, kissing each other passionately. Their team's car, a small sedan, was completely put together. It sparkled and shined in the sunlight.
"Alright, Mike and Zoey!" Owen cheered.
Sugar glared at him. "You call that a cheer? How about this?" She jumped up and down, screaming at the top of her lungs. "MIKE AND ZOEY ARE AWESOME! WOO-HOOO!" Then she farted in Owen's direction before walking off.
Sugar's Confessional:
"I've got to find a way to get rid of that Owen guy. Since day one he's been at my throat, saying he's gonna eliminate me and junk. Even waaay back in season three he's been sayin' that about me!" She rubbed her head. "Wait, did I compete in World Tour?" She shook her head. "Yep, totally did. So anyway, I got to get rid of him."
With Owen and Sugar in the car, everyone was cramped. There was hardly any room to move.
"If you two fart, this is going to be a looooong ride," Scott said. "I say we open a window."
Then Owen farted, filling the car with green gas.
"Um, mind helping me out?" Courtney said angrily, trying to fit two random car parts together.
Duncan shrugged. "I'd rather lose so I can vote you out."
Courtney grunted angrily. "And what about you Heather, what aren't you helping?"
Heather glared angrily at her from her wheelchair.
Heather's Confessional:
Because of the bandages wrapped around her face, she could only muster a few muffled noises. "Mf, mmmfff mf mff!"
Chris barged into the confessional trailer so he could point and laugh. "Haha! You're crippled for life! Now that's COMEDY!" He gave two thumbs up to the camera before running off, giggling to himself.
Sky's Confessional:
"Just for the record, I do not like Scott! I already had enough boy troubles last season."
"Wow, Zoey," Scott said as his team's car sped across the road. "You're a good driver. Say, does the GPS work?"
Mike picked up the GPS and tried turning it on. Sparks flew out of it, and then smoke rose out of the screen.
Zoey took the GPS, fiddled with it, and instantly, it was fixed!
"Wow, that's awesome!" Owen said. "You can drive and fix electronics at the same time. Cool."
Zoey shrugged. "Mike, Mike Mike Mike. Miiike."
"Oh come on, you can totally brag," Scott said. "That was pretty cool of you. You know, you shouldn't be afraid to be confident. My cousin Enis once said that there are two people in this world: Cows, and the ones who go cow-tipping. If you're not confident, you'll be tipped by the cow-tippers." He scrunched up his face, thinking. "Or... something like that..."
Finally, The Screaming Gophers' car was put together. It was another small sedan. Courtney stood proudly with her hands on her hips. "Ha! I told you calling my lawyers would get the job done."
"Now let's go!" Jasmine said, jumping in the passenger seat.
Courtney got into the driver's seat, causing Gwen to wince. "I'm not sure if I want to get in a car with you," Gwen said. "I'll bet you'd take yourself down just to get me killed."
"Look, I want to win too," Courtney said. "I may hate your guts, but I would never throw challenges just to get you eliminated. I've never done such a thing in the history of this game, and I never will! Now come on."
Courtney's Confessional:
"If only Alejandro wasn't in a vegetative state," she said. "He'd know what to do. He was the best boyfriend I had in this game. He never betrayed me or anything like that." She sighed wistfully. "I'll sure miss all the times we kissed, and the dates we had after World Tour ended. We even had plans to get married." She sighed loudly.
"Wow, we haven't hit any of Chris' deadly obstacles the whole time," Scott said before Owen farted again.
"Probably because Zoey's driving," Owen said between farts.
"That's it! I've had it with you, fat boy." Sugar opened the car door and shoved Owen out. He rolled onto the street, bouncing up and down on his fat, farting with each bounce.
Zoey, shocked, looked over her shoulder, accidentally driving right into a pile of explosives. The car was sent ablaze. Everyone was covered in scratches and soot, smoke pouring out of their skin. Well, everyone except Zoey and Mike, who looked perfectly fine somehow.
"Zoey Zoey!" Mike said. "Zoey Zoey Zoey?"
"Yeah, we're fine," Scott said.
Zoey pouted her lips, crossing her arms.
"Aw, don't blame yerself, hon," Sugar said. "It was Owen's fault we got exploded, not yours."
"You're the one who threw him out of the car," Scott said. "How dare you!"
"Neigh, it was me who planted the bombs!" Max said, laughing manaically. "Because I am EEEEVIL!"
Max's Confessional:
"Okay, it wasn't really me, but I have a reputation to maintain."
The Screaming Gaffers' car sped past them as Courtney laughed. "Later losers!" Then she drove over a land mine, sending the car flying into the sky. It spun around higher and higher, until it came crashing down in front of the film lot. The car exploded on impact, sending the contestants flying.
Jasmine landed on top of Duncan, and their lips touched. She immediatley blushed, then pulled herself off him. "Sorry..."
"I'm not," Duncan said with a smug grin.
Jasmine's Confessional:
"Oh, what am I doing? I had enough boy trouble yesterday when I broke up with Shawn. And now I'm falling for Duncan?"
"Did anybody DIE?" Chris said.
"Nope, we're alive," Gwen said. "Though I wish I were dead."
Chris stood at the podium for the Gilded Chris ceremony. "I'm disappointed. Two explosions and nobody died. Nobody even went comatose. Except maybe Heather, since it's hard to tell with her being all wrapped up in bandages and unable to move regardless." He held up a plate of Gilded Chris awards. "Anyway, it looks like we have a tie-breaker tonight. Sugar and Owen both received three votes each."
Owen farted in shock.
"Buuut, there's no need for a tie-breaker, because I'm ignoring the votes," Chris said. "It has come to my attention that somebody here has been 'changing for the better'." He scoffed at the mere words. "Yeah, I know my fans, and I know that the fans hate that sort of thing. Total Drama is about drama and pain, not teens who become sane. So, I hereby eliminate Scott from the competition!"
Scott jumped up and gasped. "What? Me?"
"Dude, Scott, you haven't been a true villain since Revenge of the Island," Chris said. "Your 'positive character development" - again, he scoffed at the words - "took over your whole performance last season. You're just not stirring up drama like you used to. In fact, you've been preventing drama by being a super nice guy lately! So, you're out of here."
"But what about Mike and Zoey? They're super nice!" Scott said. "And without Mal it's not like Mike's going to cause drama."
Mike and Zoey were too busy making out to even pay attention to any of this.
"Yeeeaaaah, but, they're the fan favorites, so I don't want to get rid of them," Chris said. "But you're fair game."
Owen was bent over the cliff, spreading his butt cheeks wide open with his hands. Chef dragged Scott to the top of the cliff, while Scott squirmed and tried to struggle free. "You can't do this to me! I'm still a bad guy. Just give me a second-"
Chef rammed Scott head-first into Owen's butt, shoving him in deep. Owen then turned his butt toward the edge of the cliff, his face going red. "I'm about to burst," Owen said.
"Let it rip, big guy," Chris said.
Owen released a massive fart that sent Scott flying off into the air. Scott was blasted right into a plane that just so happened to be passing by. The plane spun out of control, and then crashed into the side of a mountain, exploding on impact.
"Stay tuned next week, folks!" Chris said, waving to the camera. "Because there's going to be more violence and more drama coming up. And hopefully, more teens who become crippled for life." He sighed. "Seriously, we have to up the ante Chef. I want someone on this show to die already, and since our episode length got cut down to eleven minutes, there just isn't enough room for much suffering."
Max's Confessional:
"For the record, I do have some seriously eeevil plans for this season," Max said. "Starting tomorrow, I'm going to eliminate everybody through my masterfully crafted, diabolical plans!" He threw his head back and gave a booming, maniacal laugh. "Oh, you'll see. You'll aaaaalll see!"
Dave's Confessional:
He shrugged. "Welp, now that Scott's gone, I guess there's nobody to prevent me from trying to murder Sky." He grinned at the camera, then slowly raised an ax above his head. His grin grew wider and wider.
