(After 'The Doctor in the Photo')
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Ooooooooooooooooooo
The trip to Brennan's apartment was quiet. Booth concentrated on the road while Brennan closed her eyes and enjoyed the peace and quiet of the drive with her partner. She felt muddled, but it was a pleasant muddle. Once they were at Brennan's apartment, Booth helped her from the truck and kept a tight hold on her shoulders while they made their way to Brennan's apartment. Once he had her safely in her living room, he half carried half walked her to the couch and helped her sit down. "Let me start a pot of coffee."
"Coffee doesn't really do anything for someone when they are drunk." Brennan slipped her shoes off and sighed. "My shoes are new and they've rubbed a blister on my right heel . . . I'm not having a good night, Booth."
He agreed that her night had been terrible, but he wasn't going to say that aloud. "Would you like some water? That might help."
"Yes, water will help. I am certain that I may be dehydrated." Brennan stared glumly at her feet. "I . . . thank you for bringing me home. I knew that I could count on you."
She still sounded drunk and Booth worried what she might do if he left her on her own. "You can always count on me, Bones."
"Well, not always." Brennan pulled her feet up and lay on the couch. "When I came home from the Malukus, it was my intention to tell you that I had reconsidered my answer outside the Hoover, but you told me about Hannah before I could do so. I thought we might try to have a relationship, but you already were in one. It made me sad, but of course I accepted it."
His legs felt weak and he sat down at the dining room table. While he had been in Afghanistan he had never heard a word from Brennan. Seven months and not a word, not a letter, not a call and he had assumed that she had severed their partnership completely. He had felt so alone, so sad that she had given up on him and he hadn't been sure what to do about it at the time. She had been in Indonesia and he had been in Afghanistan, a world apart. Certain that he had to finally move on, he had looked for companionship from someone else and now she was telling him that she had changed her mind. Why couldn't she have called him, written to him? Why didn't she do that? "I wrote you a couple of times, but you didn't write me or call me."
She rubbed her forehead. Her head was starting to throb. "I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say in a letter. Perhaps I should have tried . . . I'm not very good at relationships and I wasn't sure how to tell you I had changed my mind and why. I thought perhaps in person . . . I was sad that you found someone else, but I was happy too . . . I will always be happy for you Booth if you are happy . . . Are you happy?"
Rubbing his eyes, Booth tried to keep his watering eyes from spilling tears. What good would it do now? He had cried when she had turned him down outside the Hoover and he had cried and given up when he had thought she had abandoned him . . . now he knew that she hadn't done any such thing and he wanted to cry again, but he wouldn't. It would just make everything worse. "Yeah, I guess." He wasn't happy at all and he wasn't sure he ever would be again. "Let me get you that water." He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter next to the fridge trying to ride out the emotional upheaval he felt. His phone rang and he answered it. "Booth."
Are you bringing Temperance home? I have some coffee ready.
He rubbed his eyes once more and cleared his throat. "No . . . no, she wanted me to bring her back to her place . . . She's pretty drunk. I'm going to stay and take care of her."
I see . . . Seeley I have a question for you. Are you happy that we're living together? Are you happy to be in a relationship with me?
Why was everyone asking him that? Why now? Truthfully, he didn't know how to answer that question. He wanted to tell her yes that he loved her and she made him happy, but he loved someone more and he was in a situation he had never dreamed could happen to him. "Yeah, of course." It had been a weak answer and he knew it. "I . . . um . . . Of course I'm happy."
I don't think I believe you, Seeley. I don't think you're happy at all. For the last few weeks, you've been worrying about Temperance, following her . . . guarding her really. I don't know what's going on and you won't tell me, but it's obvious that she is having a crisis in her life and so are you. Tell me what's going on. I need to understand what's happening.
He wanted to be honest because he was an honest man. "Bones . . . last year I wanted Bones to have a relationship with me and she turned me down . . . She told me over a week ago that she had made a mistake. That's what's going on Hannah. Bones and I are trying to come to grips with how things are now between us and we're both having trouble doing it . . . I don't know what to do, Hannah. I don't know what to do . . . I love you, I do, but . . . I want to do the right thing by you . . . Bones and me . . . we'll get through this. Everything is going to be okay."
Seeley, I love you too, but I think that isn't good enough . . . you have feelings for Temperance and I don't think they're going to go away. You care for her and you always will. . .
"Of course I do, she's my friend." Booth was trying to save his relationship with Hannah and he hated doing it on the phone. "Just wait until the morning. We can talk tomorrow when I come home."
We are talking Seeley. Right now and I'm pretty sure that you do know what you want to do, you just don't want to say it or maybe admit it . . . maybe I should help you. You love me I know that, but I don't think you're happy living with me. Your loyalties are not with me, but with Temperance. If she calls you run to her. If she's having problems, you're by her side at a moments notice . . . you never talk about your work or what's going on in your life to me . . . You keep trying to convince yourself that you're happy with me, but you aren't happy at all. I think it would be better if we just admitted that our relationship isn't going to be what either of us wants it to be . . . Stay with Temperance and by the time you get home tomorrow I'll be gone. We had fun, Seeley. You were a lot of fun and a great boyfriend. Maybe if you and Temperance can decide what you want you two can get your act together. Right now, both of you are a mess and me being with you is just confusing the issue. If you finally decide that you love me more than her, then call me. I don't think we're done, but that's up to you.
"Hannah, don't do this." He didn't want to give up on his relationship with her. Brennan was his friend and he loved her, but he was afraid that her inability to accept that love was real would always keep her from actually committing to him in a real relationship. He loved Brennan, but he wasn't sure if Brennan loved him and he didn't want to give up on someone who did. Love had been so rare in his life, so damn rare. "Please don't leave. Let me talk to you in person. We can work this out."
Right now there isn't anything to work out between us. What you need to do is work out your problems with Temperance. You both need to decide what you want and if you both have the courage to do it, whatever it is. Bye Seeley.
The call was ended and so was his affair. Booth placed his phone in his pocket and tried to control the anger building inside of him. As calm as he was ever going to be, he pulled a bottle of water from the fridge and carried it into the living room. Sitting on the coffee table, Booth realized that Brennan was asleep. Placing the water on the coffee table next to him, he stared at his partner and knew that he was at a turning point in his life. He had been at many crossroads in his life and most of the time, it was a tossup whether or not the decisions he made were good or bad.
Unable to do anything about his situation at the moment, he retrieved a blanket from Brennan's room and covered her body to make sure she stayed warm during the night. Since he couldn't go home and leave her alone, he walked into the guest bedroom, took off his shoes and lay down. He knew that he needed to talk to Brennan, but at the moment, he wasn't sure what that conversation would be. He had a lot of thinking to do and he had the time to do it.
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A/N: Dialogue from 'The Mastodon in the Room', Booth: Didn't you stay in touch with anyone while you were gone? Brennan: No. My only contact with the outside world was a satellite phone and it was only for emergencies. Booth: Good to know it wasn't just me, huh?
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