Wow, chapter 17 already! Coolios! Yeah, there may be just a tad of OOCness in this chapter, but I'll try to do it believably! Tell me what you think!! ^^
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"Every night you cry yourself to sleep,
Thinking why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?
Hard to believe it,
It's not over tonight,
Just give me one more chance to make it right,
I may not make it through the night,
I won't go home without you.
Of all the things I've felt but never really showed,
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go,
I should not ever let you go…"
-"Won't Go Home Without You," Maroon 5
~ Moments One Would Never Know ~
"What's the matter, Sesshomaru-kun? Being this sullen doesn't complement you."
Monira was walking with Sesshomaru in a cherry blossom orchard. He had only agreed to go because he knew that she would not give him a moment's peace if he had refused. He recognized that he had made a decision, for better or worse, when his travelling companion had revealed that she harboured feelings for him. He now had to go through with it. But thoughts of Rubi still weren't leaving his head, and he wasn't talking much because of it.
Sesshomaru had never expected that Rubi Tamasho had loved him. She hid it well, but he wasn't really watching for the feeling either. But he wouldn't permit the weakness of feeling emotions to hinder his travels, and though he had not actually asked her to leave, it was certainly for the best that she had.
"Sesshomaru, are you listening to me?"
He turned his head to face her. Monira's sea blue eyes were stunning, and her long hair framed her face in full golden curls. She was the prettiest thing he had ever laid eyes upon. Sesshomaru, being a man, could recognize that quite easily. But even he knew his feelings for her weren't mutual.
"Yes, Monira, you have my full attention."
"Hmm… well, and I still cannot believe that the Lord of the North actually attempted murder on…" and she went on. Sesshomaru retreated into the confinements of his own head, not paying attention in the slightest. It was a full three days after the fire demoness had left, and Rin still wasn't even acknowledging his presence. He secretly admired her courage and commitment.
"Sessho-maru! I know you're not listening to me!"
"Hmm?"
"Exactly! I just asked you about your travels, and when you where thinking of leaving!"
"I am staying here until mating season, Monira. After then, I have business to attend…"
"And leave me while pregnant?" The look on her face clearly stated she was not fond of the idea.
"Only for a fortnight. I do have duties," and he looked up to the cherry blossom trees, once again lost in thought.
"This is getting nowhere. You are clearly not interested, so we'll see about another day." She narrowed her eyes in a feline manner. "It's about that half-breed, right? She left you… do you really care about her at all? She betrayed you by lying!" Sesshomaru caught an underlying glint in her midnight-black pupils. It clearly stated it's either her or me. Choose wisely.
The Demon Lord shook his head slightly. Monira seemed satisfied with his answer, and took a few leaps away.
"See you later, Sesshomaru-kun!"
He dipped his head in acknowledgement of her farewell and continued walking. It was completely up to Jaken nowadays to take care of Rin, since the little girl wouldn't allow him near her. But he still needed to return to the camp.
The little girl in question leaned against a tree. Jaken was trying to entertain her with some new game, but her heart wasn't in it. The only thing that occupied her mind was Rubi, and how she was fairing.
A rustle in the grass alerted her to turn head and body in the other direction. As Sesshomaru-sama walked towards her, she made a complete effort to pick a flower and start weaving, like she didn't notice he was there. If she was anyone else, she knew that she would be dead before she could say "Tokijin," but she didn't care. She wouldn't stop unless he recognized his mistake and fixed it.
"Rin! I command you to talk to Sesshomaru-sama!"
She shook her head a little, knowing they both would notice. Rin kept her attention focused on the flowers.
"Rin-"
"No, Jaken," a deep voice cut him off. "Leave her alone."
Rin had to use all her restraint to not spin around and make sure it was Sesshomaru saying this. The voice was the same, but she was almost positive that he would never utter those words. But it still didn't mean he was sorry, or that he was forgiven. Soon, Rin had a complete flower wreath to put on her head.
Sesshomaru found himself once again going to see Monira. He knew that he was never really comfortable anywhere, not with the beautiful, slightly annoying feline youkai nor with the human girl ignoring him back at the camp. It was the time it took to travel in between that he liked best, since it meant that he was alone.
It seemed like Monira was ready and waiting for him. He offered her his arm, and they walked to a high-end eating place. For once, she didn't speak, but Sesshomaru was quite sure she was observing him.
They were lucky enough to get a table outside, on the lawn just starting to turn green with the effects of approaching spring. Sitting on a cushion, Sesshomaru took sips of his sake, not saying a word. Monira was a different matter entirely.
"You haven't spoken to me once! You say nothing is wrong, but even a blind man could see that something is. Seriously, Sesshomaru-" she leaned in across the table, bringing her voice down a few notches, "Forget about that half-breed. She meant nothing to you, unlike me. She was a lying, dirty-blooded wench who actually had the nerve to say she loved you-"
"Stop. This. Instant."
Monira gasped and drew back. Sesshomaru's eyes were switching from amber to blood-red faster than a human eye could see. His facial markings were becoming distorted, and his hands were clenched in fists by his side. He looked so angry that Monira quickly went over a few defensive moves in her head.
"If you ever talk like that again…" his voice was a deadly whisper.
Something inside Sesshomaru's head had become perfectly clear at that moment. Monira was not the right demoness to become his mate.
He stood up and started walking, turning around when a shout was heard from behind.
"Hey!" Monira called, "where are you going? Wait-" and suddenly she felt it too. "Are you dumping me? Because nobody dumps me, ever!"
Sesshomaru laughed inside. She was around a hundred years old, if he remembered correctly, but her immature comments made him almost believe otherwise.
"Monira? I'm quite sure someone just did."
It felt like a load of bricks had been lifted off his chest. Sesshomaru didn't have to think about Monira now. Of course, this presented a whole new set of problems, because the Lord of the West needed an heir, and fast. But that could wait, if only for a few days.
The sad feeling inside him grew and stayed, however. As he walked back to Rin and Jaken once again, he couldn't help but feel like there should be someone walking beside him.
"Lord Sesshomaru, you're back early!"
The imp ran up to him, awaiting some order. Sesshomaru felt a pressing need to be alone once more. "Jaken, watch over the camp."
The Demon Lord ran through the trees, branches whipping his face yet causing no visible damage. The sky was darkening overhead, but Sesshomaru had no intent of being back before sundown. He pushed his impossibly fast demonic speed to its limit, wanting to outrun the feeling starting to grow inside him. I have never felt anything like this. I don't want to be hindered by this.
He ran for a mere second, or it might have been many hours. The sky had turned black, like an unfortunate ink spill on rice paper. Sesshomaru came to a stop and sat down underneath the cover of a huge tree by a slowly meandering river. His energy was spent, but the feeling had only intensified. Digging a sharp nail into the soft earth, he got swept away in an ocean of thoughts. What is happening to me?
Crickets chirped. The bright moon shifted position overhead. The grass and tree branches swayed, oblivious to the Lord of the Western Lands. He stared up at the many stars that had come out of hiding and vaguely wondered where Rubi was right now. Would she be looking up at the same stars as me?
That was when a funny sensation on his face distracted him from his musings. His eyes were burning slightly, and he had no idea why. There was no good reason for it. He was immune to any sorts of poison or allergies.
And it didn't leave. But at the same time, it felt as though his golden eyes had come into contact with water. Sesshomaru put one hand to his face and lightly touched below his eyes. When he examined his fingers, they were damp with moisture. No… surely these couldn't be… but he could feel the tears now, slowly running down his pale cheeks. Why am I crying? I have never cried.
As the night wore on, Sesshomaru sat there, silent tears flowing down his face the whole time. The night had given him time to think. And as the first light of morning shone down, he had come to a conclusion. An unlikely, impossible conclusion, but a conclusion nonetheless. It's that fire demoness. Rubi Tamasho.
I'm not supposed to care, but where is Lord Sesshomaru?
Rin had been cooped up in the camp for close to a week now, since Jaken didn't like going out, she wasn't old enough to go on her own, and she refused to go with Sesshomaru. Little things were getting on her nerves. And Sesshomaru had gone who-knows-where last night, and still hadn't returned. It wasn't like him to disappear for that long without telling what he was doing. Maybe he's gone. Good riddance! But she knew that she didn't mean it. A life with Jaken seemed nothing short of torture, and she idolized the Demon Lord, even though she despised what he had done to Rubi.
Jaken put voice to her thoughts. "I wonder where Lord Sesshomaru has gone off to this time?"
"I don't know, Master Jaken."
Almost as if in answer to their question, a blurred shape shot out of the dark trees and into the middle of the clearing. It came to a perfect stop in the center, a stop that shouldn't have been possible at the speed it was running at.
Sesshomaru stood in front of them. His long silver hair shone in the morning sunlight, and his eyes had a glint in them that made Rin and Jaken look closer, not believing what they saw. If Rin didn't know better, she would have to say it was happiness, alongside purpose.
"My lord, you're back!"
"Start packing," was the only word he uttered. Rin knew that this was breaking her silence to him, but she was burning with curiosity. Weren't we supposed to be staying here, so he could see Monira?
"Sesshomaru-sama… why?"
He walked forward and lowered himself to his knees, so he could look the human girl in the eyes. A small half-smile played upon his lips. Jaken immediately started whimpering.
"We are going to look for Rubi."
Rin's face broke into a huge smile as she flung herself at Sesshomaru and hugged him tightly.
- End
