All Kids Go…
Murphy looks down and closes his eyes, ashamed that he had let that slip. He's not ready to admit that to himself, let alone his brother, "In my dream…Ma was raped." Murphy looks up at his brother, who he feels relax a little, "Tha's all? Murph, yeh know no man in their righ' mind would go after Ma! Well, cept' Da o'course, but yeh saw how long he stuck around."
Murphy tries to smile, but his eyes fill with tears again. He stifles a small, weak laugh-sob, "Murph, it's okay. It was just a dream." Murphy wishes that were true, that what happened that night really was a dream. He would give his right arm to erase that night from his memory.
Murphy leans into his brother, wrapping his arms around Connor's frame and places places an ear over his heart. He listens to the steady rhythm, the calm badum-badum and closes his eyes. He's suddenly tired again, but he's too scared to go back to sleep, "Can yeh stay here with me, Conn? 'M too scared ta go back ta sleep."
"Sure, Murph," he feels Connor pull him down to meet his pillow. As soon as Murphy feels the soft plush dip against his weight, his eyes droop; he's so tired but he's so afraid of what will greet him when he closes his eyes. Connor wraps his arms around him and pulls him close, "C'mon, go ta sleep. 'M here if ya get scared."
Connor lays his head on top of his brother's and wonders if Murphy was lying to him. Something must have really scared him in his dream for him to be acting like this, but what? He notes to ask Murphy in the morning, and closes his eyes, drifting to sleep.
Murphy can feel Connor go to sleep, as his brother relaxes his arms around him. He doesn't go to sleep though. He lies with his arms wrapped around Connor, face buried in the crook of his neck. He forces his mind to think of everything except that night. He thinks about the math homework that he never did, and frankly, he doesn't care. What is one incomplete assignment going to hurt? Nothing, that's what.
He lets his mind drift some more, thinking of how winter was almost on top of the land. He knows that it will be snowing soon and Connor would want to go sledding the first chance he got. Before, he would be gung-ho for a good slide down the hill behind the church. There wasn't anything more thrilling than sliding down a steep hill, the cold wind biting at his face as he raced towards the bottom…But now, now he can't think of anything thrilling. His mind was just…numb.
He lays in Connor's arms, letting his mind wonder until he can see the sun peek over the hills that surround their small home, and shine through his window, making small bursts of light on his walls. Where had the time gone, he wonders…
He knows that it's time to get up when he can hear their Ma moving around downstairs, clanking pots and pans together in a hurried frenzy to cook breakfast. He can feel Connor start to stir next to him, his head rubbing against the pillow in protest to his waking body. His breathing becomes uneven and frustrated until Murphy can feel Connor unwrapping himself from his brother.
"Mornin…" He mumbles, sleep still thick in his voice. Murphy doesn't reply; he just sits up and throws his legs over the bed and stands, "Anymore nigh'mares?"
"Nah. Slept like a baby." Murphy walks over to his closet and pulls out the black uniform pants and white shirt for school. He suddenly feels uncomfortable with Connor in the room as he begins to get ready for school. No one but Murphy had seen the bruises and scrapes, and he didn't feel like changing that now.
He turns to Connor and clears his throat in an attempt to get his brother out of his room. Connor looks at him with confusion, not getting it. Murphy nods his head in the direction of the door and raises his eyebrows. Get out, he thinks.
Connor cracks a smile, "Wha'? Yeh don' want to yer older brother to see yeh naked? Yeh got somethin' yeh wanna hide? A hickey, perhaps?"
"No." Murphy says it all too quickly and Connor smiles, "I jus' don' want yeh in here."
"Who gave it to yeh-Bridgette Miller? I saw yeh eyein' her up in the library the other day. Good choice, brother! Her rack is somethin' else!" Connor continues to talk about his nonexistent encounter with Bridgette, but all Murphy could think about were the lustful lips that pressed against his cold skin. He wants to tell Connor that he's wrong, but…
Before he can react, Connor is next to him, reaching for the collar of his shirt, exposing a fading bruise on his collarbone, "Nice, Murph! How far did yeh get with her?"
He pushes past Connor, hitting his left shoulder as he does, and walks toward his bed and throwing his clothes onto the rumpled blanket. He turns to Connor, "Jus' get out, Con. I need to get ready fer school."
Connor wrinkles his brow, "I was only kiddin, Murphy. Can't yeh take a joke?" He walks out of Murphy's room with a huff.
/\
Connor watches Murphy pick at his lunch, moving the food around with his fork. When he does take a bite, it's so small that even an ant would be unsatisfied with it. He's silent, too. Normally, Murphy would be cracking a joke at him, but he just sits there, hunched up and tired looking. Connor wants to ask Murphy if he's okay, but right as he goes to ask, the bell shrieks above him, signaling the end of lunch.
Murphy stands quickly and collects his tray, making a beeline to the trashcans across the large cafeteria. Connor tries desperately to catch up to him, but he loses his brother in the swarm of students making their way to their classes.
Murphy goes into a bathroom. Which one, he's not for sure. He presses his back up against the door as soon as he hears it latch closed, closes his eyes, and sighs. He wants so badly to go home and get away from his brother, his classmates, everyone.
Murphy is too busy trying to clear his head that he doesn't notice Patrick Null, the school's star soccer player, walk out of a stall. He doesn't hear his footsteps getting closer, and he certainly doesn't feel his breath creep closer to his ear.
"Hey Murph. How're you're bruises?"
That voice…Murphy knows it. It's just as thick with lust as it was four nights ago. He snaps his eyes open and looks into Patrick's dark brown ones.
He's looking into the eyes of the man who raped him.
Okay, I am so sorry about this whole chapter. It was late, it sucked, it was short…I had more planned for this, but I had trouble writing it; it didn't flow like I wanted it to (none of it flowed like I wanted it to, actually). I hope that I didn't disappoint you readers too much with this. I know that I disappointed myself.
To explain my late-ness: I was at a baseball tournament in Kansas. My cousin and his All-Star team were in the Regional tournament and it lasted all week. I was literally at the field all day with no time to post anything.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: deelove1, Dixon MacManus (you should go read Life is Beautiful by them. It's really good!), loveless fan girl, forevermotionless6661, reedus fan, Rat, and Kate. I think that I sent all of you personal thank-yous, but if I missed you, I thank you for reviewing! It meant a lot!
