"Antarians Shed Tears Too"

"The Darkness"

Chapter 1

I

Liz answered the door in the palace; she was expecting Michael and Maria.

"Hi, Maria… Hi, Michael… Come on in. Dinner will be ready soon. Glad you could make it."

Maria smiled. She looked older. Her face was drawn and had a sadness to it… not the sadness of something gone wrong today, but the sadness of a long, enduring pain… "Hi, Liz."

Michael gave Liz a hug.

"Have you seen Izzie lately?" Michael asked. Liz nodded.

"She and Alex doing okay? I haven't seen them for quite some time… I think since the end of last year."

"Yeah," Liz answered. They're doing okay."

"Kyle and Jeliya?"

Liz nodded again. "Yeah, they're makin' it."

"Jim?"

Liz didn't answer for a moment. Then she nodded.

"He's hanging on. I saw him at the ranch last week."

There was silence for several minutes, as though no one quite knew what to say.

"I always thought she was the strongest one of all of us…" Michael continued after a few minutes.

"Kathleen?" Liz asked.

"Yeah."

"Well," Liz said darkly, "I understand her perfectly. She was strong. But the strongest steel shatters if you hit it just right and hard enough. I've… I've felt like doing the same thing… You just don't know… well… I guess you do."

Maria hugged Liz, and both of them began to cry.

Michael sniffed, too, not meaning to. "The stoutest trees are the ones the wind blows over," Michael said, "It's the ones that nobody thought were strong… the ones that can bend… that somehow survive. How long has it been? Nine years?"

"Nine years, forty-four days, and…" Maria looked at her watch, "…what are we dwelling on it for! It's not going to change anything!"

"Hey, all!" Max said, as he walked into the room. Max looked around and noticed that the mood had become somber, as it always tended to do when they got together anymore since the day of "The Darkness." Max, like the others, looked older, and like the others, his face showed far more sadness than it should. But he was determined to try to bring some happiness into this reunion.

"Come on, guys… Let's watch some vision screen or something before dinner! Buffy's starting her nineteenth season tonight!"

Michael grinned slightly. "Let's see… She's what? …knocking forty now?"

Even Liz smiled slightly. "Well, she still slays 'em like she always did," Liz said with a slight giggle. "She just complains about her back after she does it now."

Maria smiled and giggled, too. "At least Angel doesn't change. And he can give her back rubs!"

"I hear Steven Spielberg has chosen the cast for Star Wars, Episode 3," Max said.

Everybody laughed. "That would be funny if it just weren't true!" Michael said. "I don't think he'll live long enough to make another Star Wars movie after this one… not at the rate he's putting them out!"

The four friends sat down on the oversized Antarian sofa and turned on the video screen. For a few minutes, no one said anything, as they watched the early evening news from Earth. Then Maria broke the silence…

"Why don't we… you know, try going back to the past one more time?"

Michael hugged her. "Maria… you know we did that… Three times! It didn't make any difference."

"I know, I know," Maria said softly. "I know… I just keep trying to think what we could do."

"I think we tried everything that we know to try," said Liz. "Maria, I'm hurting, too. So is Max, and so are the others. All of Antar is hurting. But some things apparently can't be changed."

"I know," Maria said softly again. "But I just can't help wanting to do something."

"I know," Liz said, hugging her. "I feel the same way. Sometimes I can't stand it. But we have to remain strong… for each other. The scientists are still trying to find out what happened and how we can make sure it never happens again."

"I don't give a damn about 'again'," Maria almost yelled. "I care about…" Tears began to roll down her cheeks, as her voice broke up. "I care about what I lost… what we all lost."

Liz hugged Maria, and Maria hugged Liz, as both cried quietly. It was hard on Max and Michael, just as much as it was on Liz and Maria… and every other Antarian. Max and Michael both longed to get back to some semblance of a normal life, but they hurt inside as deeply as Liz and Maria… in their own way. They didn't get together often with the others or even with each other anymore, precisely because the visits always broke down into talk of how there should have been a way… they should have had some warning… they should never have come to Antar… maybe if they took the new granilith or used the Sphere of the Portal one more time to go back to the past… a hundred different things… it was all a lesson in futility and frustration.

Everything had been tried, most things several times. As to what had caused it -the "Day of Darkness," as it was known on Antar- nine years later, the scientists were still "working on it" …the scientists in whom Michael had put so much confidence. Now he tended to get frustrated and short-tempered with them. He knew -they all did- that whatever the scientists found out, if they ever even did find out exactly what happened, it wasn't going to change the past. It was too late for that.

----------------------End of Chapter 1