Conversations

Part Two

Georg wanted a drink in the worst way, but after what happened that night he fought the urge with all he had. His head pounded when he woke up, her note clutched tightly in his fist. He searched the room, but there wasn't a single sign that it had even happened. He told himself that he had passed out and that the combination of his exhaustion and the alcohol gave him dreams, but it didn't stop him from expecting her to come back.

But a couple days passed and his nights were quiet. They never received word from the Abbey and it seemed that she was gone for good. He shoved his memory of her and everything they talked about that night out of his mind. That was the past. It had been time to take stock and figure out where to go from there.

Elsa. It seemed almost ungrateful to spend so much time thinking about Maria when Elsa was still there, utterly devoted and by his side. Elsa had been the plan all along, at least until she came along and everything he knew about his life shifted. He did what he could to bring the sanity and order back into his life by proposing to Elsa. It was the plan, he told himself again. It was expected.

He lifted a hand to his head and rubbed his temple. A headache started to blossom right behind his eyes. It was from clenching his jaw to keep smiling as they informed the children earlier that afternoon. He promised them that they would be very happy and he trusted it would be true eventually. But for now he had seven upset children who wandered who knows where and one disillusioned fiancée who retired to her room complaining of too much excitement for one day.

He needed air. He walked slowly toward the lake, pausing at the gate. He swore he could still see small puddles gathered in the cracks where his children stood dripping wet, shaking from their ill-timed dunk out of the boat. Or were they shaking because they were afraid of him and how angry he was? He wasn't exactly proud of his behavior that day but they had forgiven him for it and for everything else.

He knew they would forgive him again. Elsa might not be the most maternal choice for a new mother, but the children had much to gain from her when it came to social grace and deportment. We'll be very happy, he told himself as he stared out over the water toward the mountain that loomed large on the horizon.

"It's awfully quiet," a voice said from behind. He closed his eyes and braced himself to turn around. He had successfully convinced himself that it had been an alcohol-induced dream, citing the killer hangover the next morning as proof.

"Fraulein," he said, his voice heavy and tired. "You're back. I mean, you're not back, but…" He exhaled slowly.

"So quiet," Maria repeated, ignoring what he said. "Where are the children?"

"I was wondering that myself," he replied lightly, finally turning around to look at her. "Then again, that is how this works, right? I wonder but you actually ask the question." She was standing before him with perfect posture, her hands calmly at her side. He noted that she was dressed differently than the other night, no longer wearing the ugly cast-off. He didn't recognize it at first. It was plain enough, a practical shade of brown. It was flattering, he dared to admit. And it was… dry. Unlike the day he returned from Vienna. Suddenly he did remember the dress and how it simply clung to every possible part of her after her fall out of the boat.

"It isn't like them to stay to themselves for long," she said again, tugging at her dress uncomfortably. He couldn't help but smirk as he noticed she was turning a light shade of pink. "They could get into all kinds of trouble. You'll have to be sure and warn the new governess." His smile twitched for a quick moment.

"New governess? Yes, well, there isn't going to be a new governess."

"No?" Her brow shot up and her mouth dropped open.

"No," he affirmed, then turned back toward the lake and pretended to be interested in a pair of geese landing on the surface in the distance. "They will be getting a new mother instead." He paused to peek at her but she didn't react. "I don't think they are pleased. In fact, that is probably why they decided to go see you."

"What?"

"Oh, I don't know for a fact that's where they went, but they aren't here. It would make sense though. Every day they ask if you're going to come back. I told them what the note said, but anyone could see that they didn't really believe it." He turned his head to look at her. "I know I don't believe it. I still don't understand why you left." Maria shifted uncomfortably and looked down at her feet. When she looked back at him, she seemed considerably sadder.

"So you and the Baroness are to be married," she said as she cleared her throat. "I suppose I should congratulate you. I'm sure it is wonderful news."

"You don't sound convinced," he observed. Maria shrugged.

"I'm sure you have much in common." Maria raised her palms into the air and smiled. "Only a fool would wonder what you see in her."

"She is beautiful," Georg contended. At some point they began strolling along the side of the lake.

"And sophisticated," Maria offered. "She understands your world and how to act in it."

"It is a very good match. Everyone thinks so."

"Such a good reason to marry someone," Maria said and Georg bristled. He wasn't sure if she was sincere or joking.

"It's more than that, I mean, she's also charming and witty," he responded defensively, but Maria simply rolled her eyes. "Don't you think so?"

"I think she saved most of her charm for you, Captain." Georg stopped suddenly and turned to gape at her.

"Fraulein!"

"Oh, I'm sure I'm being totally unfair. I'm sure barely tolerating my presence can be considered a type of charm." Maria shook her head and laughed. Georg wanted to protest but he had to admit that he had felt some tension whenever Maria and Elsa were in the same room.

"She never had any of her own children, you know. I'm sure she saw how easy it was for you to get along with the children and maybe she was a little jealous."

"I was doing my job."

"But you were…" He paused and took a deep breath. "Elsa is used to being the center of attention wherever she goes. Even you must know how utterly spellbound the children are when it comes to you. They hang on your every word, jump when you call them. Even at the party, all the guests were eager to praise you for their wonderful performance. Can you blame her?"

Maria didn't offer much protest. In fact, she remained pensively quiet as they continued their stroll. He wondered if Maria actually knew how uncomfortable she made Elsa. He was sure he didn't help matters, but what could he do? Maria had her hand on everything that happened in his home. He thought about her and children performing the puppet show. She even got him to sing, for heaven's sake.

He tried to look at Elsa as he sang, but he knew the person he hoped to impress the most was Maria. With each glance, her face settled more and more into a smile of happy contentment and he couldn't stop himself from singing to her. Elsa's jealousy was palpable that night; when she suggested a party in her honor, he quickly agreed mostly to placate her.

"I'm sorry, Fraulein. It isn't fair for me to blame you," Georg stated. "Of course you never gave her reason to resent you."

"No," she agreed. "Not on my own anyway."

"I beg your pardon?" Maria moaned with exasperation as she stopped and spun herself to face him.

"You know very well what I'm talking about," she grumbled. "The party, Captain! She saw us dance together. She was there at the end when…" Maria cut herself off and swallowed. "Can't you admit it? Even to yourself?" Suddenly he realized he was standing there having a conversation with a complete fantasy and it was about to turn into an argument. It was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Why are you doing this?" he snapped.

"Why won't you even think about it?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because you left!" He was aware he was shouting. "And you, whatever you are, stand there and act like I should know why! But I don't know why."

"What a lovely couple we made," Maria said, half quoting Elsa. "Dancing out in the chilly night air… though it did seem rather warm." A small shiver ran up his back.

"You couldn't possibly have heard that," Georg muttered, kicking at the ground. Maria gave a cynical laugh and shook her head.

"Honestly, Captain," she said. "Are you deliberately trying to be so obtuse? You want to know why I left but refuse to admit that you care that I did. Surely the thought has crossed your mind that both might actually be connected. It is right there, conveniently shoved to the back of your mind. Would it end the world for you to just… be honest?"

He felt his mouth go dry. He wished she would go away. It didn't matter if he cared or not, the fact was that he was engaged and Maria was to become a nun. She ran away, yes, and it happened right after they danced together, true. But what could that have to do with anything? It was just a dance.

Just a dance.

But then the moonlight surrounded them and she practically glowed. With each intricate step he brought her closer and closer into his arms, so close he was sure he felt her heart beating. It pulsed in their joined hands, coursed through their arms. It was the passion in their movement together until the moment he looked deep into her eyes. That was when they stopped… when he saw her emotions mingle with confusion.

"You ran away because you felt something between us," he said, his voice strained and hoarse. "And I care because I felt something, too." Maria's shoulders fell as she relaxed, but there was a pain in her eyes as she looked at him.

"I'm going to be a nun," she said quietly, but the conviction was gone from her.

"And I'm going to marry Elsa," he answered and she nodded as she dropped her gaze back to the ground. "But… you don't think I should."

"It's not my place to say," Maria answered. "Besides, you don't really want me to answer that."

"Yes, I do," he replied earnestly.

"No, you've already made your choice," she said as she turned at looked at him sadly. "And you don't become a decorated naval officer by second guessing. You have too much honor, Captain, and you won't go back on your word."

"But—"

"It's so quiet," Maria cut him off, looking around. "But I imagine the children will be back soon from wherever they went." Georg turned his head as, if on cue, their voices could be heard near the house. He looked back to say something to her, but she was gone.

TBC…