ControllingOurFates
Disclaimer:I do not own iCarly!
A/N: By the way, I love this statement I found off a website, it works so well with this story: " 'The past is the past, that is why they call it the past.' —C .Hurn. Yes one must look at the past, and then learn from it, but to ruminate and dwell on it is counterproductive. There is a new path ahead of you that YOU and only YOU created. There will be a time when you can walk it safely and be happy. I promise you." I find this statement may work best with Valerie the most, and even with Sam, but it does work for all of them.
Chapter2 (Dangerous Boyfriend)
Valerie Williams ran back and forth in her kitchen, sweating as she tried to prepare the chocolate mint cookie recipe that the teacher wanted her to show the class how to make. She stopped in front of the paper on the counter and brushed her hair behind her ear. She lifted the pen up and started writing the next ingredient down onto the sheet. She honestly didn't know why she was bothering, even though she loved cooking, she knew nobody else would care. Maybe her boyfriend was right.
She set the pen down on the paper and leaned forward, placing her hands on the counter and letting out a deep sigh. She had so much going on, so many things stressing her out, she could hardly focus. All that seemed real to her was her cooking, it seemed that was perhaps the only thing that had ever been real to her. She gazed outside her window and pressed her lips tight as she pressed her fingertips along the counter.
She was the second oldest in a family of five kids. The oldest, Vanessa was twenty and lived at college. Maybe if she were here, things wouldn't be as troublesome as they were, she never tolerated any crap from anybody. Valerie and all of the other sisters looked up to her the most. She was the strongest one out of them all. She seemed to be the first to really grow, the one to try her best for everyone, and she had to. Then there was Veronica, not quite sixteen. She was the 'model' of the family, always showing off her most fashionable design. Then Victoria, turning fourteen in September, she was the calm one. She always seemed to go from day to day without a care in the world, but she had the most love for anyone and anything. The youngest was Vixen, almost twelve years old and the only girl with blonde hair, which she got from their father. She was a dancer and had beautiful blue eyes that peered out from her freckled face.
Their parents were Victor and Viola. Viola had been a military woman who had been overseas during the Iraq war. When she came home she was in a wheelchair, learning how to cope with that. She was still coping as she came home three years ago. It shook up the entire family, they were just trying the hardest not to let themselves be depressed, these things happened, right? Victor had begun to increase his workload as a businessman, he had to, he was working to support his family and try to bring in as much money as he could for his wife.
Then there was Valerie, turning eighteen in July. She sighed and moved her eyes to her paper as she thought about the events of her life that led up to where she was now. It was horrid, she was faced with never forgetting an old sin. When she dated that Freddie Benson, she was still going through a bunch of stuff. She was trying her best to help her mom while trying to take all of the strain the family was going through. This kept her from going out and enjoying life, so much so that she didn't have many friends. When she saw iCarly, she wanted to befriend them. She hadn't been thinking about how to go about it properly, so she ended up using Freddie and tearing iCarly apart.
A tear rolled down her face and she shook her head as her heart tightened in her chest, she hated thinking about what happened back then. Freddie didn't even care anymore, but the kids at school never ever let her forget. She never could deal with the trouble they dished out on her, only because she was always so concerned with her family and with her mom, but even they weren't the worst of it.
She lifted her hand to the side of her face and tentatively touched a spot near her eye where it was still sore, she had a good amount of makeup that hid a fresh bruise. She sobbed once and quickly brushed it off, it was best that she did. She was dating the school's prominent drug addict, Rodney Lewis, also known as Rodney the Rip-off. He was just like the kids at the school, but worse. When she started dating him, he was better than the abuser he was now, although she couldn't quite remember a time. She didn't know why she was with him, probably due to the thinking that there wasn't anybody out there who would want to be with her.
"Why would anyone want me?" She took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the oven, she was already preparing a batch of those cookies for the class, but something told her they wouldn't be bothered with her cooking. "After what I did, nobody would want me. Not only that…" She closed her eyes tightly and moved her hand up to her chest, closing it tightly on her shirt. She was damaged goods as far as anyone was concerned, she had no self confidence nor the ability to keep Rodney from hurting her, as long as the inability to leave him. So Freddie aside, she hated the way her life was going, but maybe she was destined for failure.
"Hey, Valerie!" Her head lifted as Rodney's voice came wafting through the air. Her family was gone for a few hours, Viola had taken Vixen to dance class, Victor was at work, and Victoria was at the park while Veronica sought out some modeling agency. "Are you still working on those cookies?" Rodney moved over to the counter and brushed up against Valerie while looking at the ingredient list on the counter. "Seriously, chocolate mint? You realize nobody's going to like these, right? I mean, it's not a matter of what they are, it's just…they're disgusting." Valerie bowed her head slightly and closed her hands. Why wasn't it good enough? She thought they were great, she was one of the best cooks in the class, wasn't she?
"I…" Her heart sank down into her stomach and she quickly shook away the thought, it was best not to speak out and disagree with him, that way a fight was avoided. "I know, but it's what the teacher wants…" She personally chose them, but he wouldn't care to know that. It would just be seen as argumentative to him and he might hit her again. In the end, she deserved this, a man who abused her. She hid it from her family well enough, but what would they do if they knew?
"Well you should have asked her for something different." She looked up at him and her brow furrowed as she gazed at his features. He had bloodshot eyes and was wiping his nose over and over, a sign consistent with cocaine. Was that his drug of the day? He hung out with the drug addicts of the school, so that's who he sold to. It explained how he never got expelled, nobody ever saw him dealing. She never took drugs, she was from too Christian of a family and was raised better, but it did cause a lot of fights with Rodney. Even still, she'd not introduced him to her family yet, but they did know she had been dating someone. Her father was too busy with work to be the typical protective father, so he never demanded to meet the man. If he had, would it have been any different? "Hey Val, why haven't I met your folks yet?"
"Uh…" Her eyes fled to the door and she started to wonder if she could make a fast break for it. She didn't know just what to say because she knew it might incite some sort of rage within that man. "They're just always busy I guess." It was at least halfway true, they were almost always out and about. Usually she was with her mother whenever Vixen was supposed to go to her dance lessons, but Viola suggested she stay home and work on the recipe. "They never know when a good time is."
"I'm available any time." The oven rang and Valerie quickly grabbed her mitt and rushed to the oven. She retrieved the cookies and quickly set the tray on the stove, so as to keep the countertop from burning. "So how many have you made already?"
"Enough for the entire class and the medical staff that's teaching CPR in the other half of the classroom…I believe that's fifty people and I'm cooking in dozens, so this is my fifth dozen."
"Sixty of those things, huh…" He chuckled and folded his arms over. Valerie started waving her hand over the freshly baked cookies, wafting through the steam. "You know what you should do, lace them with something like heroin and light everyone's day up." Valerie choked up a gag as she tried to imagine something like that. She'd never taint her cooking in such a way. She muttered something about him being a pathetic drug addict and hoped he didn't hear, but he did. "What did you just say to me?"
She winced as her heart began to race, she should have known better than to do that. She did know better than to say something like that to him, what the hell was she thinking? "Nothing Rodney…" She could see the drug induced rage in his eyes and quickly tried to get away, but he grabbed her wrist tightly and glared into her eyes. "Please don't-"
"What did you say to me!" She screamed as he tossed her onto the ground and rubbed his nose. She peered her eyes up at him as he approached her. "Did you just call me a drug addict? Who are you to criticize me when you're a no good, lying, conniving bitch!"
"I'm not!"
"Don't start with me. Get up." Fear stung her like the venom of a wasp and she quickly shook her head, pleading with him. "I said get up!" She couldn't be too sure which drug it was, she thought it was cocaine, but it could be anything from Heroin to PCP. It really didn't matter, though, they all made him crazy.
"Don't…Rodney, don't…"
"Why won't you listen to me?" He grabbed her hair and she screamed as it practically tore off her head. She came up and met his fiery glare. Tears stung her eyes as he backhanded her with a swift blow to the right side of her face. Her cheek shone bright red and her hand fell to it. She started backing up as he moved closer to her. "I'm not a drug addict."
"Okay! Okay, you're not a drug addict! Please!" He grabbed her arms and shoved her back against the stove. Her left hand flew back and landed on the hot tray, burning it. She screamed and crashed back reflexively, sending all the cookies flying into the air. "No!" Her safe hand flew to her wrist and she fell down to her knees, sobbing as the cookies slammed onto the ground around her. She looked up at Rodney and he slammed his fist into her face, cutting her lip slightly. She screamed and her hair fell forward. Rodney wiped his nose again, sweating and grunting with effort.
"You're nothing, you hear me? Nothing. You're a swine, you're filth, you're dirt. You're lucky even I want to be seen with you!" Her body trembled as his words struck her and tore the wind from her lungs. "If anyone's pathetic here, it's you, and for the record, those cookies are probably the best thing you've cooked, and that's saying something, because they suck. You'd practically have to lace them with drugs just to give them any taste or flavor whatsoever."
She shuddered and her words came out in shallow sobs as she reached down and started trying to pick up the fallen baked goods. "My cooking is good…it is…" Rodney raised his eyebrow and laughed at her efforts to grab them up. "Please…please…"
"Whatever, I don't even know why I'm here." She didn't want to be by herself, so she'd asked him to come over. He'd been watching television since being over, but his show had gone off. Valerie stopped moving and stared at the floor, her face was throbbing and her lower lip had some blood on it. Rodney knelt beside her and she quickly took her breath. "You know you don't want to be alone, you also wanted friends, so you need me. I need you, you can cook. You know when I hit, it's only because I care." A whimper escaped her throat. Her chest was on fire. He lifted his hand up to her face and she quickly moved her head away from him, fearing the touch causing any pain. "I'll call you later, babe. I have to meet someone about a sell."
She listened to the sound of his departing footsteps, she heard the front door open and close. How long she sat there, staring at the floor, she wasn't sure. She knew it had been some time, because when the door opened and closed again, her family was calling out to her. She absorbed their shocked voices and looked up to see Vixen, Victoria, Veronica, and Viola surrounding her. The two youngest girls were helping to pick up the cookies while Veronica was running for the medicine cabinet.
Valerie looked into her mother's soft brown eyes, which were framed by her short brown hair. Viola gazed at her with a look of concern and brought her fingers to Valerie's chin. "What happened to you, baby?"
"I-I…" Should she tell them? No, she didn't want to worry her mother with anything more than what the woman already worried about. She was still concerned with the loss of her ability to walk, Valerie still took her to a counselor for crying out loud. Veronica came in with some rubbing alcohol, water, cotton balls, and just about everything else that could be found in a first aid kit. Valerie didn't want to worry Veronica with anything, either. Victoria and Vixen were too innocent to see such cruelty in the world. Not only that, but Rodney was right, he was all she had as far as friends or relationships went. "I fell…I tripped and fell into the stove after putting the hot tray on it. My hand hit the tray and everything went to hell from there."
"Oh sweetie…" Viola looked into her daughter's eyes. Valerie flinched and looked away, unsure if her mother could see the truth in her eyes or not. Vanessa knelt down next to her and brought the cotton swab to her cut lip and started to clean it.
"We'll have to talk to dad when he gets home." Valerie's eyes widened as she stared at her sister, she knew Victor might suspect something if they told him. His parents both were full blooded Italian, his father had actually once been a part of some Italian mob when younger, so her father knew what someone looked like after a fight. She knew that even though her father had been too busy to be that overprotective father type, it didn't mean he wasn't protective.
"No! We don't have to tell him, I mean, it was just an accident right?"
"Daddy might want to make sure everything is okay with you and with the kitchen." The thought of her father being told made the pain from the rubbing alcohol feel like nothing at all. She looked to Vixen and Victoria, who had finally finished putting the cookies back on the tray.
Once Vixen turned around, she met Valerie's eyes and tilted her head. "Why do you look so afraid?"
"I'm not, I'm just hurt…" She attempted to stand up and Viola took her burned hand in her hand. It didn't look all that bad, but it was still a burn. Victor would be home in ten minutes, he would definitely need to take a look at it and decide whether it was serious enough to go to the emergency room or not.
"Vixen dear, would you start filling the sink with some water? Victoria grab the ice." Valerie sighed as she watched her sisters run around the kitchen, it was almost a pleasure knowing that her family cared so much about her. As long as they didn't wash off the makeup on her face that hid the bruises of the other day, she'd be fine. She would be fine. Besides, she didn't have time to worry, she needed to make sure everything was ready for the class. She needed to check the cookies and see if she needed to make a new batch or not.
This chapter was definitely rough. Now I was debating whether or not I would have Sam be Valerie's friend from the start (like I usually do with those two) or not, and judging by Sam's personality, for her to have been Valerie's friend (would have been for the last 3 years), there's no way she would have just sat by and let Rodney, or even the kids at school, treat Valerie in this mannar. So, I've opted not to have her as Valerie's friend at the start.
