A/N:

Puzzypower: okay, so - author's note

Jmj3: yessum...

Puzzypower: what should we tell them this time?

Jmj3: that they suck for not reviewing.

Jmj3: hahaha jk!

Puzzypower: sorry pps - no smut in this chap, as a punishment?

Jmj3: No way! we don't punish here...

Jmj3: welllllllll...unless its in the sexual manner :)

Puzzypower: nah - just a tiny bit

Jmj3: just tell them to get on with the readin!

Puzzypower: yeah, and this one has laughing involved

Puzzypower: a lot of it

Jmj3: YAY!

Jmj3: lets go lets go lets go!

Puzzypower: and Rose will get to see more than she asked for

Puzzypower: okay then

Puzzypower: we don't own

Jmj3: I wish I did :(

Puzzypower: we make them do dirty and funny things though

Puzzypower: so...

Jmj3: READ. LOVE. REVIEW!

Puzzypower: I second that - here we go!

A/N out


Chapter 2

JPOV

"WAKE UP, you lazy ass!" I heard the door slam against my wall while the incessant screamin' thundered through my head. A second later, I felt the bed dip as little B crawled up and straddled my waist. Oooh, she was mighty close to my morning monster – just a little lower Darlin', ya know ya want to! Sadly, she launched into a tickle attack instead of showin' the monster some lovin'. "Get up, Lazyboy; we've got a lot to do today. Get up!"

My squirmin' around caused my sheet to drop lower and reveal the monster in all his glory, causin' both me and B to freeze up completely. Her ticklin' stopped, thank heavens, but her blushin' was somethin' in a league of its own. "Damn, J, you're well-hung!" A voice sounded from the doorway. We both turned our heads towards E who stood causally leanin' on the door jamb with a raised eyebrow. "Whatcha doing in here? If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd be fucking with all those noises you're making!" He said. B scrambled off me, still blushin' and motioned for me to cover up. I just shot her a smirk and laid on my side, drawing my knee up a little and supporting my head in my hand – I mean, I had nothin' to be embarrassed about, my Monster is named that for a reason!

"Goddammit, Jazz, cover up that monster cock, we ain't interested!" E shot at me, small smile curling around his mouth. I stretched out lazily, all cat-like and givin' them the full show. If you've got it, flaunt it – just sayin'… B turned around and yelled while disappearing down the hallway "Get up now, you lazy fucker! Today's your 'going on tour' barbecue, and we've got to get everything ready!" Oh yeah, that's right – we've got company comin' tonight! Since my record was released the company wanted me to go on tour, startin' next week, and we'd invited all of our posse over for a little celebration and goodbye party. I better get goin' then, who knows how many chores that crazy little bitch had signed me up for!

The sounds she made in the shower and my fantasies from last night kept poppin' into my head though, and per reflex I grabbed my mornin' wood to relieve the pressure a bit. "Ugh, J, you fucker – don't you have any fucking shame at all?" E exclaimed and turned quickly from my doorway. "Need brain bleach!" he yelled, slammin' his own bedroom door. Whoops, I guess I forgot him standin' there. Ah well, might as well get up now and hit the shower – ain't no privacy in this house for a wank anyway!

I quickly took care of business once I was under the warm spray – didn't take long at all, since my mind was flooded with images of a gorgeous, willing and wet little B suckin' my cock. Visions of her doe-eyes lookin' up at me from her kneelin' position and eager slobberin' on my cock caused me to spunk all over the wall in a matter of seconds. Aah, that was just what I needed – and no clean-up!

I finished up my shower and strolled into the kitchen, whistlin' between my teeth with just a towel around my waist. B was cookin' breakfast, and I snuck around her to steal a piece of bacon from the plate beside her. She slapped me over my wrist and turned around to chastise me, when she caught sight of my half naked body standing so close to her. The blush returned – I wondered what got her so embarrassed? She'd seen both E and me both half and fully naked a ton of times over the years. The hazard of livin' with two guys, I tell ya.

"Get some fucking clothes on, you moron! Rose will be over any sec to help me grocery shopping!" She exclaimed and pushed me away, her hand lingering a little on my pecs; almost a caress. I couldn't resist rubbing myself against her on my way out of the kitchen. Ah, what a pert little ass she had. Just the right size and tightness – it felt sooo good against my naked body. Monster started to perk his head up again. Down, you horny fucker! You just had some lovin', what would you expect?

As I passed the front door the bell went off – that had to be Rose! Just to piss off B, I opened the door in my birthday suit (I kept the towel on though) – she hated when I did those sorts of things! Rose was standin' on the doorstep, openin' her mouth to say somethin', but when she saw me, she didn't make a sound – she just stood there with her mouth gapin' open.

And knowin' Rose, that's really sayin' somethin'! She was the queen bitch, but with a heart of gold. B's most loyal friend, besides E and me. She had always been on the fringe of our group, hangin' around with B, when B couldn't stomach our guy behavior anymore and doin' all the girly stuff they do with her. Usually, she wasn't slow on the uptake, always the first to bad mouth you for some reason. "Hi Rosie, how are you doin'?" I said in my best 'Joey' impersonation, wagglin' my eyebrows like he does. She still didn't say anythin' – she just kept up her fish routine, gaping and closing her mouth. She was extremely beautiful, normally that is, not so much right then with that absent expression; long flowing blond hair, almost white she's so blond. Cerulean blue eyes, and a smokin' model body – she towered up in my airspace almost, with her 5'9'' and killer heels. Curves in all the right places and a tiny waist – my guess was that I could reach around her midsection with my hands! I always wanted to try that and what better time than now?

I reached out and grabbed her with both hands – I was right! My fingers met on her back, and my thumbs on her belly. Not one to let a good opportunity go to waste, I hoisted her over my shoulder in a fireman's grip and walked off the kitchen to give her to B. Her ass was right beside my face, and I couldn't help but check it out. She had a good ass on her, I had to say. She snapped out of her stupor now, and started to bang on my back, screamin' at me to put her down. I just laughed at her – until she grabbed the edge of my towel, pullin' it loose! Holy fuck! If she kept that up, she'd get front row seats to the Jazz ass! Hurryin' up, I set her down, but too late – she didn't let go of the towel, effectively bringin' it with her. So now I stood there like the day I was born, in front of Rose and B. in the middle of the kitchen!

Now, I'm not ashamed of nothin', ya hear! I have a smokin' body, and I know it. But I wasn't too happy about streakin' through the house in front of Rose without her havin' some tequila shots and some kissin' first. B was crackin' up laughin', Rose was gaspin' for breath too, and I scrambled to find ANYTHIN' to cover up with – so I grabbed a dish towel the size of a hankie and held it in front of me. Phew.

This just caused them to laugh harder, though, bringin' Edward into the mix, since he came by to check out all the racket. What the fuck? He burst out laughin' too, stutterin' out: "Fucker, that dish towel isn't covering up you junk, man! It's only covering your pubes!"

B was wipin' her eyes for tears of laughter. "What's with all the Jazz nudity today? I've seen more of Jasper's junk than ever, just in the last half hour!" I decided to let that slide gracefully, and just turned on my heel, walked out of the kitchen and to my room to get decent. Fuckers! I could hear their laughter all the way to my room, not dying down at all.

BPOV

After I woke up both of the boys, and got to see more than I dreamed of off Jazz while doing it, I went to get myself ready for Rosalie to come over. Tonight we were having Jasper's going away BBQ, but I needed the right outfit for it first. Okay, to be honest, I probably had an outfit if I actually dug through my stuff to find it.

Really, I just needed to get out of the house for a while, and have some quality girl on girl time. No you perv's, not sexually, just that girl time where I could let loose and not give a shit.

We were sitting in my room as I finished getting ready to head out after Jasper had went off and showed his sex pistol to all of us.

"Hey B, how do you handle that much dick in your face?" Rose asked me.

"Eh. You get used to it after a while." I answered her, shrugging my shoulders.

"God, I would be horny all the damn time if I didn't have regular sex!" Why was it such an odd idea to always have a cock around? I guess it was just normal for me. Rose could always get laid; for one, she was a total knock-out, and second, she had an on/off boyfriend named Emmett. They had the weirdest relationship going for years. One minute everything was sunshine and unicorns, the next she hated his 'lying, cheating ass'. Oh well...

"Oh don't think I'm not. I use Pleasure Pete on a daily basis."

"Oh lord girl. We need to find you a real dick to use! No one as hot as you should make do with a showerhead!" She exclaimed.

Little did she know, there were two here that I wanted just fine. What was wrong with me? How was it that I wanted not just one, but both of my best friends? If I ever even began to make a move on them, how would I choose whom to go for? They were both amazing men.

"Oh shut it Rose. Let's just go shopping okay?" I asked her while grabbing my purse.

Riding to the local mall was fun. It always was when the two of us were together. We blasted the music, and laughed like nothing else. Rose was my best girl friend. She'd been in our little group since she moved to town in seventh grade. At first, she was an outcast. Everyone seemed to be afraid of her since she was 'the new girl' and we had no idea what to expect.

It was wrong for us to act that way, but we had all grown up together, so when you threw someone new into the mix, no one knew how to react. That was until one day Jasper walked up to her, and told her she had big boobs. Then Edward followed suit asking if he could see them. Yea, they stayed my friends.

Rose was appalled when they asked her that, so I, of course, had to cover their asses and apologize to her for them. Once we got to talking we realized we had a lot in common. Only child, both had parents who were divorced, and lived with our fathers. We instantly became friends and she was a part of our group ever since.

"Okay so spill woman. I saw the way you were lookin' at Jazz this morning" She looked at me.

"I have no clue what you are talking about Rose. Oh look, Starbucks!" Maybe I could avoid the conversation if I distracted her with her obsessions; coffee and shoes.

"Knock it off B. Yes, I want coffee, but talk to me here!"

"Would shoe shopping put this conversation back to a later time?" I turned to her.

"Not a fat chance in hell B. I want to know this, and you better fuckin' tell me."

"Fuck. Fine. I don't even know Rose! I mean fuck, have you ever truly looked at him? His body is amazing, his hair, his voice, and dear lord you saw his dick this morning!"

"Okay yeah, but you've always known all this about him. It's not like that shit is new. Are you in heat or some shit?"

"Maybe? But babe, it's not just Jazz I want. Don't judge me though okay? I totally got myself off the other day to images of both of them at the same time."

"Wait what? Bells, that shit isn't normal! But you gotta spill the deets on this one!" She was overly enthused about this.

"Fuck Rose. That's a little TMI isn't it? I don't want you knowing what I hope comes true one day!"

"Oh fuck that shit. You and I both know that I'll either be in the next room, or you'll call me the minute that shit is over with."

"Maybe I'll call you, but no way are you going to be there! This isn't some huge ass orgy. Just maybe one day a threesome." I grinned at her with an evil look on my face.

"What did you picture one in the back door and one in the front? Fuck that's hot! Or Jasper sucking Edward off while you go down on Edward? I think I like that one the best!"

"Oh my God Rose, stop! Thanks for the amazing visuals, but let's just drop it okay? Let's get some shopping done already. I need new clothes that will make them both want me!"

"Whatever you say Bells, just know that we are coming back to this later! I want to know who it is you want to suck off, and who you want to fuck you all at the same time." She smiled at me. Why the hell did I have such perverted friends? If it wasn't the guys, it was her!

While shopping, the images from my shower along with the things Rose mentioned were swarming through my head. I didn't think anything was wrong with me, just that I desperately needed to get laid. I wondered if this was something one of the guys would be willing to help with. We had all seen each other naked over the years, and all messed around a little here and there. Usually it was out of dares, but it still counted. What could I say? We liked the grown up version of truth or dare! But we never took it beyond that point.

After finding the perfect "BBQ attire" we left the mall and headed to the liquor store. No BBQ of ours would be complete without alcohol. I swore by looking at the amount we purchased, one would think we were a bunch of alcoholics! We got 4 cases of beer, all Corona of course, stuff for strawberry daiquiri's, Rum, Tequila, Vodka, Margarita mix, and a bunch of other little things to add to our drinks. Yep, we were going for full force that night!

That was, after all, Jasper's going away party. We couldn't let him leave without a major hurrah! The question that stood prominent was what would all this alcohol do to us? If I had my way, which I usually did, I would have Jasper and that monster cock of his in my bed before the night was through. I had to make that happen – but how?

When Rose and I came home, the boys were nowhere in sight. Typical! Those lazy fuckers! They had decided when and who and now they just expected us girls to do all the hard work? Fuck that shit! That was so not happening today.

"JAZZ, EDWARD! Get your fucking asses in here, or I will hunt you down with a baseball bat! NOW!" I hollered out, unloading the bags in my arms.

"You called, mistress?" Edward popped his head out from his doorway, with a raised eyebrow as always when he was being ironic.

"Yeah, we need you and Jazz to bring in the alcohol from the car and start to ice it – and you really should start up the barbeque and fire pit, so we can feed people when they get here!"

"JAZZ!" We both screamed this time. "Get out here! It's your party, douche!" Edward continued to shout, going down and pounding on his door. Mmmm... The way his muscles moved in his shoulders and back, as he lifted his hand – yummy!

"B, you really need to get laid. You're checking E out in a not so subtle way right now." Rose looked at me, face-splitting grin on her face.

"Shush, you hussy! I'm working on a plan – and no, I won't tell you about it. You might ruin it!"

"She might ruin what, Darlin'?" a low, husky voice whispered in my ear, making me jump ten feet in the air! His hand lingered on my shoulder, steadying me, squeezing gently.

"Shit, Jazz, you almost gave me a heart-attack! And it's none of your goddamn business, so butt out! Go help E with the fire – he's hopeless with that and you know it. Those long surgeon's fingers ain't no good with handiwork."

"Yes Ma'am!" he clacked his heels and mock-saluted me, before going out the back yard to help out E.

"Shit, Bella, you've got it bad!" Rose said in a sing-song voice. I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say to her – she was right, but I wouldn't admit it to her.

We spent the rest of the afternoon preparing food; hamburgers and hotdogs, coleslaw, potato salad and some snack sized veggie cut-outs, before hitting the shower. This time, I took extra care in locking the door behind me!